That Did It.

[Homicidalheathen]

So now K is totally convinced. My mom is nuts. I had to get in contact with my parents over a legal matter earlier this month even though I swore I would never talk to them again. Well things ended up pretty much the same way.

She did something so nutty I am just giving up.

I am never speaking to them again......no matter what......I don't care.........

This is what happens when I give second chances.......3rd chances.....

But I realized something important about myself. This is why I take so much crap. I was raised to think this behavior is normal.

I love my inlaws because for once I have a normal decent SANE family. So glad they adopted me.

I mean, the lady is just whacko. I don't care if my dad dies and I don't see him before he goes......hell why should I with all the shit he did to me, now this?

Fuck it. He knows what she is up to, he never sticks up for himself or anyone else and just lets her walk all over everyone but will beat the crap out of anyone else......so wrong.

[pomba gira]

taht's so sad Wendy... I always think, the more I see of other people's families, the more I appreciate mine. I have a wonderful family and it always makes me sad to see families that aren't. But... you are blessed that you've found a true family with your in-laws. Some people never even find an adoptive family they can feel a part of.

[Homicidalheathen]

Fucking psycho bitch from hell. She beat the crap out of me as a kid.....for nothing most of the time. I was only allowed one bath a week, in my sisters dirty bath water.....until the age of 12.

She was vulgar, crazy and mean and always drunk.....she tried to molest my brother....

She ruined a job offer I had at the age of 15.....she ruined my singing scholarship because she wouldn't let me move to NY

I had to hide my bruieses and shit.....I was dirty and shy and unpopular.

I had to move in with a drug dealer when my dad started trying to molest me just to get away.

Fine. I forgave her.

Why? Cause I am stupid.

I graduate from college and I got NOTHING. Not a card, nothing.

My kids graduate High school and get NOTHING. Cause they are goth and bi, maybe gay....who knows...who cares.......its their bodies and life.

They dont do drugs or have sex......hold jobs......make good grades...are starting college soon......

But heaven forbid they should wear black oh my god they must be influenced by the devil.

Fucking hurt me fine, but not my kids.

My husband is shocked at this recent shit.....my kids mad at me for taking the crap.

I told them they should at least send a card.......instead I get this wierd thing in the mail.....her paranoia again working overtime.

If I stay in contact now I will look like a stupid fool to my kids so thats it. Its over. Period. My kids are smart and well rounded.......anyone they don't like, is out of my life. Hell sometimes I think they have more sense than me, they see this shit coming before I do......from friends and whatnot.

My dad can die of lukemia and wonder why he doesnt see us....fuck it. He never did stand up to her even though he can't stand her ass.....its over. He watched her beat us and did nothing......hell sometimes he did it himself.

I still have a dead tooth from the bastard.

[Onyx]

When parents abuse a child that badly, I don't feel the child has any obligation toward them whatsoever. Seems to me the healthiest thing for everyone involved is to cut off contact rather than allow them to be a part of your and your children's lives. Why let someone like that continue to abuse you and hurt your kids? I think you are doing the right thing for yourself and your children.

I've had to cut relatives out of my life too. It's a sad thing to have to do, but sometimes it's for the best.

[Homicidalheathen]

And so I shall, again........

I did once for 7 years and stuggled on my own thus, hitchhiking to school everyday.....

But I did it and finished and got a job in the field I was going for......with no congrats from them.

My sis will get mad. She took waaay more crap than me and for some reason wants to keep kissing their asses.

Her loss of time, not mine. It is a loss of time visiting them......all you get out of it is stress. I never have anxiety attacks except when I am around my dad for more than an hour. Even when I used to do acid and whatnot......NEVER had that except when I am around him.

My therapist said to confront them so I did and they had the nerve to pretend they did not REMEMBER abusing us....that hurt more than the actual abuse.

Because they were not drunk everytime......I know they remember.......thats how they put it back on you.......by denying it ever happened.

I don't go to a therapist anymore.

[Jadis]

I'm sorry you have to go through all of this HH. Hang in there. At least you have -your- family.

[pomba gira]

Fine. I forgave her.

Why? Cause I am stupid.

NO. Because you are wise enough to understand that carrying a burden of hatred and resentment forever would only hurt YOU... that is like continuing to give your abuser power over you.

When parents abuse a child that badly, I don't feel the child has any obligation toward them whatsoever. Seems to me the healthiest thing for everyone involved is to cut off contact rather than allow them to be a part of your and your children's lives. Why let someone like that continue to abuse you and hurt your kids? I think you are doing the right thing for yourself and your children.

I've had to cut relatives out of my life too. It's a sad thing to have to do, but sometimes it's for the best.

I agree. Your parents aren't going to change at this stage of their lives... you have tried to do what's right, to no avail. You don't owe them anything further. At this point you need to think of your children and yourself... and I certainly can't see anything positive for you or them, in continuing to have contact with these people.

And... that kind of denial is pretty standard for abusive parents. Your therapist didn't expect them to admit their wrongdoing and beg your forgiveness... the intent was for YOU to find strength by openly speaking of these things. Secrecy and lies are always weakened by truth being spoken... even if you feel there was no obvious benefit from confronting your "parents", you took a step toward reclaiming your own power by confronting evil with truth.

Wendy, you are an amazingly strong person and you should give yourself credit for it... so many people are destroyed by childhood abuse. Either they repeat the cycle of abuse their entire life and pass it on to the next generation... blame themself and go through life "proving" how worthless they are... or spend their life trapped in bitterness and resentment which they take out on everyone around them... but you have done none of these things, you've created a good life for yourself, raised strong healthy children who know they are LOVED... and I know your adult life hasn't always been easy... you've faced serious illness, hardship & more but always remained true to yourself and your chosen path in life. I am not sure if you know how much of an achievement all this is for someone with your history. Honor yourself sisterwoman, because you deserve it!

[Dollardave]

Dude I'm sorry you're having problems with your parents. I know all the shit your dad did to u. I never treated my exwifes daughter bad even tho she wasn't mine and I raised her 11yrs. The getting high off of eyedrops thing u told me was just weird. You're right she is NUTS.

[Homicidalheathen]

Oh she had to give up her prescription pill addiction and alchohol years ago.....all she has left is those damn glacoma eye drops. Its so pathetic its funny. She would rather be blind than str8. She rubs her eyes for a good 3 days before a doc apt so the pressure is up when tested......she musta got that out of one of my sisters medical books lol

(sorry but after living around this for years its funny)

So then they operate on someone with glacoma symptoms but not actual glacuoma hell no one else has it in our family......

And now her pupils are like f*cking Saphire stars lol.

They are ANYTHING but round.

(and now we all distrust doctors with a passion)

She 'forgets' she took her drops and over doses on purpose to get high, hell I didn't even know you could get high on those till I saw this, looked it up on the web and found out......

But I know her so I knew she was playing her old games.

Nut case.