Marriage Vows

[Fierce Critter]

Feel free to share yours.

These are the marriage vows Jon and I wrote for our handfasting.

Camille,

I will walk with you

To destinations unknown

Ever safe in the comfort

Of hand upon hand.

As we begin our journey

As husband and wife,

Take my hand

And trust in me as I promise…

I promise to always be faithful to you as long as I live…you are my one and only

to be loyal and stand by your side

to keep you from harm and protect you

… always to be honest in my thoughts, feelings and judgments

I promise to care for you through the years as we grow old together

to share the good things that make me smile …So you may enjoy them too…

I vow to you that I will never abuse you in any way…physically or mentally.

To comfort you in failure..and rejoice with you in your achievements

to treat you as my equal

I promise to always provide for you …the best I can give

to keep you in my heart for all time

to share responsibilities evenly

I promise to always love you and be your love forever more

****************************************

Jon,

I will walk with you

To destinations unknown

Ever safe in the comfort

Of hand upon hand.

As we begin our journey

As husband and wife,

Take my hand

And trust in me as I promise…

… to give you many reasons to smile.

… to kiss away any tears that fall from your eyes.

… that the only tears you’ll shed over me will be from laughter.

… to delight in a life of taking care of you.

… to let you take care of me.

… to let understanding, cooperation & compromise guide my words & actions.

… to trust in you, and give you every reason to trust in me.

… to live a good life with you in happiness, truth, faith, hope & optimism.

… to keep you safe, comfortable, healthy and warm.

… to share a life full of spirit and magick.

… to treasure the blessings of nature by your side.

… to love you beyond words.

… And above all, I promise never, EVER, to feed you beets.

Note: Jon grew up poor, and spent a year or two living with a grandmother who grew beets - lots, and LOTS of beets. He despises them. I've often said that he'd know if he'd really pissed me off - there'd be a can of beets waiting on the table for him and nothing else.

[pomba gira]

The vows I wrote for me & Estranged Hubby Rick got misplaced soon after the wedding. Maybe that was an omen. I can't even remember 'em now. Found an early draft a couple years later but there's no record of the final version.

and oh yeah... that's really lovely FC! Ours was the same basic format but a lot shorter.

[Steven]

vows.....

are they worth anything anymore?

Is a man's (or a woman's) word worth anything?

what do we see exemplified by way of vows in our own lives?

Are we entering into marriages and saying vows without even recognizing what were doing?

do we mean it when we say we will...

forsake all others....

in good times and bad.....

for richer for poorer.....

in sickness and health.....

??????

[lonesomeangel]

I dont have any yet, but I have to write mine soon. And for being a semi-talented writer, I'm blocked. FC those were beautifull. You give me inspiration for mine.

[Kit Kat P]

when my ex and i got married my only request was to replace obey w/ respect

[Head Wreck]

i'm fortunate.

i'm crap with words at the best of times. and terminaly single, so glad to be free of that burden

[pomba gira]

vows.....

are they worth anything anymore?

Is a man's (or a woman's) word worth anything?

what do we see exemplified by way of vows in our own lives?

Are we entering into marriages and saying vows without even recognizing what were doing?

do we mean it when we say we will...

forsake all others....

in good times and bad.....

for richer for poorer.....

in sickness and health.....

??????

I think that's why so many people write their own... the "traditional" set doesn't have personal meaning for them. Not to say there is no value in the traditional vows, but it can be hard to find real meaning in words that formal and ritualized. Most self-written vows have some re-statement of the traditional at their core... put into a form that this particular couple can relate to.

[Steven]

I think that's why so many people write their own... the "traditional" set doesn't have personal meaning for them. Not to say there is no value in the traditional vows, but it can be hard to find real meaning in words that formal and ritualized. Most self-written vows have some re-statement of the traditional at their core... put into a form that this particular couple can relate to.

and thats cool....I get that....when Lola and I renewed our vows after getting back togethor we wrote our own, this time with more depth and intention.....

i suppose thats the point im making here.....its easy to say "baby I love you and Ill always love you".... thats emotion, thats cool.....but thats easy, vows in and of themselves are part of an agreement, a contract of sorts that defines the arrangement

you know its like if you study a covenent in biblical times you see lots of thigns...like when Jonathon teh prince of Israel made a covenent with David the shepard boy - he took his robe and his arms and placed them on David, it was symbolic.....arms promising life long protection for him and his family....his royal robes promising provision and a share of his ritches......and you know this was a royalty to a peasent sort of arrangement - it was very intentional in its symbolism..... I always think of that example when I hear about prenups and the like....if I had to get a pre nup Id never get married, man.

and the traditional words, sure you can repalce them but when you think about it they cover alot of territory....

".....I lost my job and then we couldent make the house note and she got depressed and thats when I realzied she was jsut a bitch and I said fuck that and my therapist said im bi-polar anyway and I shouldent be in an oppressive environement and this one chick at the bar I can tell her anythign cause she understands me and respects me and...."

[torn asunder]

i found these online a while back - taken from the online "story" blog written by the "talk like a pirate day" guys! not that i'll ever use them, but i thought they were fucken hilarious, and adorable as hell!

I, LefTENant Keeling, take ye, Saucy Red Molly as me Heart, me Soul, me

Good Wench with a stout right hook, the bright dawn of each new day and

the soft bed of each day's night. I promise to love ye and honor ye; to

make ye laugh when yer feelin' out of sorts and pretend to listen to ye

when ye babble on and on about nothin' in particular. I will protect you

from the elements and the elephants should we ever encounter them as it is

my understanding that they can be very large and unpredictable. I will

love thee through scurvy and through fire, in wealth or poverty whether ye

be near or far. And when I speak of treasure, as I am wont to do, everyone

within the sound of me voice will know that what I am really speaking

about is you. All of this will I undertake until there are no horizons

left to chase and the rum is gone.

I, Saucy Red Molly, take ye, LefTENant Keeling as me Heart, me Soul, me

Salty Jack with a crooked smile, the foggy haze of each new day and the

lumpy (but familiar) mattress of each day's night. I promise to love ye

and honor ye; to make ye laugh so hard the rum comes out yer nose and

pretend to listen to ye when ye babble on about nothin' in particular. I

will protect you from my wrath and from giraffes which I understand are

very tall and will sometimes step on people because they are not looking

where they are stepping. I will love thee through scurvy and through fire,

in wealth or poverty whether ye be near or far. And when I speak of

treasure, as I am wont to do, everyone within the sound of me voice will

know that I am day dreaming again. All of this will I undertake until

there are no horizons left to chase and the rum is gone.

[Fierce Critter]

Lots of depressing, pessimistic stuff

Wow. I didn't expect such a downer response from you, Steven.

How's about sharing the ones you and Laura said? I'd bet they'd be pretty nice.

[Homicidalheathen]

We wrote poems....will try to find them later. I have them in the photo album.......thing is.....it was windy (no pun intended) that day......and only us and the minister heard them. But thats ok cause it was personal and all anyway.......didn't care who heard it but him.

[Steven]

Wow. I didn't expect such a downer response from you, Steven.

How's about sharing the ones you and Laura said? I'd bet they'd be pretty nice.

wait - im totally confused....what downer response did I write?

(that quote you had from me I couldent remember or find anywhere...)

our vows?

I vowed twice...the first time...traditional vows.....and I remember thinking, AS I was saying my vows, that if it didint work out we'd just get a divorce....it shouldent be that big of a deal.....I was thinking that as I was lookign at her...

the next time I did my vows was years later after re-committing to my wife and coming home to finnaly START learning how to be married....I think that was bout 5 years into my marriage or so...cant completely remember...

but Laura and I each created our own....she wrote hers out and kept them, I didint (write them and keep them) because very private stuff I tend to keep inside me and I knew what I wanted to say to her.... we covered alot of ground with that second set of vows because we'd been thru the ringer and finnaly we knew where we were and where we wanted to go......and it was a chance to forgive each other as well.....

[sass_in_the_pants]

We had a Catholic ceremony, and as part of it you choose one reading from Old Testament and one from New Testament. We chose Corinthians - the one that everyone chooses, the love is patient, love is kind one.

I love that passage.

I think it's some of the prettiest words ever written.

And then, the priest asked us to speak from our hearts.

I'm sorry, what? Speak from our hearts? I actually have to SAY something?

My husband remembered during the rehearsal that we were told that this part would happen. He had prepared. He found words I didn't know he had, and told me in front of God, our family and our friends just how deeply he cared for me.

I, however, did not remember anyone mentioning this at the rehearsal. I was completely unprepared. And so, in front of God, our family and our friends, I pulled him close to me and whispered in his ear. He smiled. Wanna know what I said? Well, too damn bad! If I won't say it in front of friends and family, there is no WAY I'll type it on a public forum.

My friend Dave remarked that you can get me to talk about ANYTHING, absolutely anything, except for this. I will tell anyone how wonderful Guy is, but to say how truly and deeply I feel for him, that's for me, and Guy. No one else. Not even at a public ceremony.

I kind of like things that way.

[Steven]

We had a Catholic ceremony, and as part of it you choose one reading from Old Testament and one from New Testament. We chose Corinthians - the one that everyone chooses, the love is patient, love is kind one.

I love that passage.

I think it's some of the prettiest words ever written.

And then, the priest asked us to speak from our hearts.

I'm sorry, what? Speak from our hearts? I actually have to SAY something?

My husband remembered during the rehearsal that we were told that this part would happen. He had prepared. He found words I didn't know he had, and told me in front of God, our family and our friends just how deeply he cared for me.

I, however, did not remember anyone mentioning this at the rehearsal. I was completely unprepared. And so, in front of God, our family and our friends, I pulled him close to me and whispered in his ear. He smiled. Wanna know what I said? Well, too damn bad! If I won't say it in front of friends and family, there is no WAY I'll type it on a public forum.

My friend Dave remarked that you can get me to talk about ANYTHING, absolutely anything, except for this. I will tell anyone how wonderful Guy is, but to say how truly and deeply I feel for him, that's for me, and Guy. No one else. Not even at a public ceremony.

I kind of like things that way.

that was pretty cool.......(I get it)

[saechalyn]

I, however, did not remember anyone mentioning this at the rehearsal. I was completely unprepared. And so, in front of God, our family and our friends, I pulled him close to me and whispered in his ear. He smiled. Wanna know what I said? Well, too damn bad! If I won't say it in front of friends and family, there is no WAY I'll type it on a public forum.

My friend Dave remarked that you can get me to talk about ANYTHING, absolutely anything, except for this. I will tell anyone how wonderful Guy is, but to say how truly and deeply I feel for him, that's for me, and Guy. No one else. Not even at a public ceremony.

I kind of like things that way.

I really, really like the idea of having at least a small part of your ceremony for just the two of you, and if I ever get married, I'm gonna steal it. I'm not at all comfortable with the idea of a big wedding and taking vows in front of everyone we know. Of course if I get my way, my wedding will be very small, but I suppose my future hypothetical spouse will want some kind of say in it.

[sass_in_the_pants]

Of course if I get my way, my wedding will be very small, but I suppose my future hypothetical spouse will want some kind of say in it.

Not if he's the right kind of spouse he won't!

I kid, people, I kid.

[Gauge]

i found these online a while back - taken from the online "story" blog written by the "talk like a pirate day" guys! not that i'll ever use them, but i thought they were fucken hilarious, and adorable as hell!

when do i get to be molly?

[Fierce Critter]

I was watching Bridezillas last night with Jon. First time I've done so, though I've seen shows like that before.

Jon was watching, too. And he kept looking at me and saying, "I LOVE YOU" and "I am SO happy I married you."

Especially during the episode with the chick from texas who was saying, "Daddy gives me money and mommy complies." She had an original budget of $10,000, and insisted on them upping it to $15,000 or more.

Our wedding cost, tops, $300. And I think that might be over-estimating.

I made our clothes, even dyed the linen myself. Our biggest expense was the Minnetonka knee-boots for Jon at $95. (I already had a pair)

Our "church" was a grotto in Munising in the Upper Peninsula, site of Munising Falls.

We had no guests, and our priestess fell through a week before we were scheduled to go through with it, so we basically married ourselves, and made it legal later by phone with a non-denominational minister from Ohio.

We didn't have a photographer - my dad lent us his camera & tripod and we kept taking turns setting the timer and running back to pose. We only got maybe a half dozen good shots before we lost the light.

Our music was a babbling brook and the waterfall behind us, birds, and crickets.

Our flowers were the natural flora of grasses, wildflowers, trees and mushrooms in the grotto.

We stayed a single night in a bed-and-breakfast chosen by cost, i think it was $60.

Our "reception" was dinner at a restaurant - the Northwoods - and my dad had given us $20 to spend. I think we added another $30 for the whole bill.

And our rings were $6.00 each, sterling bands from Kohl's.

Munising falls in the daylight

[Onyx]

That is absolutely beautiful Critter. Sounds like a wonderful wedding.

[Onyx]

i found these online a while back - taken from the online "story" blog written by the "talk like a pirate day" guys! not that i'll ever use them, but i thought they were fucken hilarious, and adorable as hell!

I absolutely love that. hah!

especially the part where they each pretend to listen while the other babbles on.

[sass_in_the_pants]

I was watching Bridezillas last night with Jon. First time I've done so, though I've seen shows like that before.

Jon was watching, too. And he kept looking at me and saying, "I LOVE YOU" and "I am SO happy I married you."

Especially during the episode with the chick from texas who was saying, "Daddy gives me money and mommy complies." She had an original budget of $10,000, and insisted on them upping it to $15,000 or more.

Our wedding cost, tops, $300. And I think that might be over-estimating.

I made our clothes, even dyed the linen myself. Our biggest expense was the Minnetonka knee-boots for Jon at $95. (I already had a pair)

Our "church" was a grotto in Munising in the Upper Peninsula, site of Munising Falls.

We had no guests, and our priestess fell through a week before we were scheduled to go through with it, so we basically married ourselves, and made it legal later by phone with a non-denominational minister from Ohio.

We didn't have a photographer - my dad lent us his camera & tripod and we kept taking turns setting the timer and running back to pose. We only got maybe a half dozen good shots before we lost the light.

Our music was a babbling brook and the waterfall behind us, birds, and crickets.

Our flowers were the natural flora of grasses, wildflowers, trees and mushrooms in the grotto.

We stayed a single night in a bed-and-breakfast chosen by cost, i think it was $60.

Our "reception" was dinner at a restaurant - the Northwoods - and my dad had given us $20 to spend. I think we added another $30 for the whole bill.

And our rings were $6.00 each, sterling bands from Kohl's.

Munising falls in the daylight

Your wedding looks beautiful, Critter.

I love hearing about weddings, I really do. And I really like hearing about weddings that were the right fit for the bride and groom, y'know? And it sounds like your wedding was just perfect for you two.

[Steven]

Critter your wedding was awesome.

Laura and I had a similar story...we got married by the justice of the peace in his living room, we had a handful of military friends there (we were soldiers), no family was there at all and Lola wore a borrowed wedding dress from her girlfriend who was getting married later that year, and I wore my Army Dress greens. We bought our cheapo wedding bands at a local walmart kind of place, we bought our own teenie white cake and stuck figurines in them, and afterward we met at a friends house and barbecued and drank champaigne. We got a hotel room in Nashville for the weekend for our honeymoon, and reported back to duty Monday Morning. Oh, and we got one wedding gift from a friend: a set of towels. Laura still wears that band, and on our first Xmas I scraped togethor enough money to buy her a little gold ring with a Heart shaped amethyst, which she wears with the band as a set, shes been wearing them all these years...

that was 20 years ago. maybe foregoing all of the wedding planning and traditional "stuff' allowed us (and you??) to just focus on each other....

[torn asunder]

when do i get to be molly?

i imagine as soon as you find a "LefTENant Keeling"...

[Destroit]

I'm not getting married any time soon, but I can't wait for my wedding not 'cause of the mushy stuff, but because weddings are always one helluva party. I'm gonna have one of those big-fat-goth-weddings, nothing "simple and meaningful" I'm talking some massive blowout party where everyone's invited.

As for vows...damn, I have to write my own? I thought that's what the priest is for. Uhmm I can't get "romantic" like literally can't, I really don't get it (just doesn't click in my brains) so if I did write vows it would probably be really stupid and meaningless. It'd probably be like in the movie Night at the Roxbury, at the end when they get married Like "Uhmmm Raven, we've known each other since highschool. We drank...alot...and smoked some blunts back in the day. It was tizaight. Now it's time to get married, uhmm and drink more. I hope the sex always stays really hot and that you don't ever need viagra as long as we both shall live." Has nothing to do with him, I'm just a natural born insensitive prick I guess, I try to be like normal girls and be all swoony and cuddly and stuff, but it just doesn't work damnit! Like I always gag at weddings when they have stupid crap like the whole father-giving-away-the-bride and having some heartfelt dance with their daughter. Maybe it's 'cause I'm against fathers altogether, I dunno, that's personal though.

There will also be no "slow music". If there's anything that ruins the moment it's slow and touching soft crap. We had to go to a wedding a few weeks back and we were joking around saying "Yeah when our entrance comes on we're gonna have the Mortal Kombat techno theme instead of some stupid slow whiny vagina-induced crap" I can tell you, whatever happens...it shall be interesting and fun. Possibly touching....possibly.

[Onyx]

I'm not getting married any time soon, but I can't wait for my wedding not 'cause of the mushy stuff, but because weddings are always one helluva party. I'm gonna have one of those big-fat-goth-weddings, nothing "simple and meaningful" I'm talking some massive blowout party where everyone's invited.

As for vows...damn, I have to write my own? I thought that's what the priest is for. Uhmm I can't get "romantic" like literally can't, I really don't get it (just doesn't click in my brains) so if I did write vows it would probably be really stupid and meaningless. It'd probably be like in the movie Night at the Roxbury, at the end when they get married Like "Uhmmm Raven, we've known each other since highschool. We drank...alot...and smoked some blunts back in the day. It was tizaight. Now it's time to get married, uhmm and drink more. I hope the sex always stays really hot and that you don't ever need viagra as long as we both shall live." Has nothing to do with him, I'm just a natural born insensitive prick I guess, I try to be like normal girls and be all swoony and cuddly and stuff, but it just doesn't work damnit! Like I always gag at weddings when they have stupid crap like the whole father-giving-away-the-bride and having some heartfelt dance with their daughter. Maybe it's 'cause I'm against fathers altogether, I dunno, that's personal though.

There will also be no "slow music". If there's anything that ruins the moment it's slow and touching soft crap. We had to go to a wedding a few weeks back and we were joking around saying "Yeah when our entrance comes on we're gonna have the Mortal Kombat techno theme instead of some stupid slow whiny vagina-induced crap" I can tell you, whatever happens...it shall be interesting and fun. Possibly touching....possibly.

Sounds pretty cool to me

Weddings should be about the two people who are getting wed, not determined by what everyone else is expecting.