Why do men have trouble commiting?

[JaneDead]

i've yet to meet a person that is 100 percent clone worthy. not that i think cloning is a good idea anyways.

[Daevion]

Yeah, I agree. Cloning is a bad idea since the earth is already overpopulated as it is. The last thing we need is more infestat....I mean population.

[JaneDead]

Person Man, Person Man

Hit on the head with a frying pan

Lives his life in a garbage hand, Person Man

Is he depressed or is he a mess?

Does he feel totally worthless?

Who came up with Person Man?

Degraded Man, Person Man

[Daniel]

Through cloning research, we may be able to genetically engineer things like smurfs. I challenge you to tell me that wouldn't be awesome, and keep a straight face.

[JaneDead]

actually smurfs would be pretty awesome

scary to some, but over all awesome

[Fierce Critter]

Boys have trouble committing.

Not men.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

My response falls under this argument. Though I definitely wouldn't generalize, either.

No secret that I've got a good decade on a majority of the posters here. I think the mean age here is around 25. I've been through that age, and lived to see others do so as well.

No secret either that I married a guy 10 years younger than me. Jon was 19 when I married him.

My biggest fear over the age difference was only in that he had not yet entered his mid 20's. I don't have a problem being 10 years older than my husband. I did, however, have fears over who he would be once he hit that stage of life.

In my experience, and observation, a HUMONGOUS amount of personal growth, change and discovery happens in a person's mid 20's. A person is well out of their teen years, so, to uber simplify, play time is over. And the 30's are looming, so thoughts of "settling in" to who a person is going to be start creeping in.

Its at that age that people, both men AND women, seem to start questioning things a lot. Including where they want to go, who they want to be, what do they really like, and what really works in their life.

What "works" for a man at age 24 may very well not work for him at age 26. And I think that, deep down, men - AND women - know this. So the thought of comitting to something before a person even knows who THEY are, WHAT they want, etc. just doesn't work.

I do think this becomes more noticeable at that age because women might have more of a tendency to start thinking about settling down. For a woman, reaching her 30's can be a big turning point. There's the whole biological clock thing that looms over a woman, which may or may not be instinctive (I really don't want to see this devolve into a discussion of whether humans HAVE instincts, so just work with me here, o.k.? ) For men, who studies have shown develop/mature at a different rate than women, those thoughts haven't quite become as pressing.

So, in a way, what VA said is somewhat true. You are more likely to find a man who wants to commit if you look for someone who has jumped the 30 year mark.

That all said, that's not true for everyone. My fears over Jon have thusfar not been totally justified. We have hit the 6 year mark as he turned 26, and we are strong. He has grown, and continues to grow, and thusfar, is growing WITH me, not AWAY. We have our moments, but they seem to only make us stronger together.

But I know of a few guys who I'm pretty sure would NOT have hit that age and still been with me - probably wouldn't be with the same woman they entered that age with period. Hell, I would NOT be with the guys I was with at 26 today - NO WAY.

I fully believe it makes a lot more sense to wait until you're in your late 20's at earliest to seriously think about comitting. No, not necessary for everyone. But overall, in my experience and observation, it makes for a more confident, more educated & mature relationship.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

Troy, we really MUST clone you!

I like that philosophy.

Any mad scientists lurking about?

Oh yeah.. ditto that!

Hey Troy, keep yer DNA in check....LOL  The women are conspiring to clone ya!

=)

[Vater Araignee]

i've yet to meet a person that is 100 percent clone worthy.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That would be because you have not met me in person.

not that i think cloning is a good idea anyways.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Once you realy get to know me you will

So, in a way, what VA said is somewhat true. You are more likely to find a man who wants to commit if you look for someone who has jumped the 30 year mark.

size]

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What I said is compleatly true I've seen 16 year old men and 50 year old boys. the diferentation between man and boy is how he acts not his age.

[Guest MsMaldoror]

OK, I think I'm going to clone myself, date myself, and commit to myself... :confused

[soothsayer]

I think it's just a matter of a personality type. Both genders can be on equal footing about not commiting. There are those that desperatly look for someone just because they can't stand being by themselves and there are those that either take their time or never settle down. So, it's a question of how much time are you willing to give to find out if a person has intetions to settle down with you. People should be able to tell fairly quick if they have found someone they would like to spend a life time with. I mean really, it isn't that tough. We all have flaws and unless they are really bad you can get past them. Those are my thoughts about it anyway.

[Proscrire]

Just tossing an idea around:

Is it possible that women are somehow programed to screw up our relationships? There seem to be a hell of a lot of psychos out there (not refering to anyone here as I haven't met you all) But still a lot of psychos. Why? Are we disinclined to commit?

[Rozzlyn]

Why does anybody have trouble committing?

Alleged fear of commitment is not a sex-based offense.

[soothsayer]

Just tossing an idea around:

Is it possible that women are somehow programed to screw up our relationships? There seem to be a hell of a lot of psychos out there (not refering to anyone here as I haven't met you all) But still a lot of psychos. Why? Are we disinclined to commit?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hmmmmmm......that's a good question. Not all women are like that, a few yes but not all. Some people are happy going from one person to another because they fear that when they're in a relationship the true them will be very difficult to deal with and things will go sour ultimately so they tend to tell everyone they prefer dating. That's how I see it anyway and it goes for both genders. I'm hoping to meet a woman that doesn't turn into queen bitch after she thinks she's got me. That happened once and this woman thought she could have her cake and eat it too. Treated me poorly, talked down to me so I said fuck it and ended the whole thing. Hope she's happy and God help the poor soul that marries her.

[TomCat]

Just tossing an idea around:

Is it possible that women are somehow programed to screw up our relationships? There seem to be a hell of a lot of psychos out there (not refering to anyone here as I haven't met you all) But still a lot of psychos. Why? Are we disinclined to commit?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Good questions. When you have the answers, I'll be sipping a drink in the corner moping, let me know...

[Black Sunday9]

hmmmm.......

I wonder if MsMaldoror ever got this problem rectified. :whistling

[Guest MsMaldoror]

Yeah, I did. I met this great guy named Ted--after Ted Nugent. He's kind of sporty but also likes to shop at Hot Topic once in a while. He can drink vodka like nobody's business. :grin

hmmmm.......

I wonder if MsMaldoror ever got this problem rectified.  :whistling

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Reaper]

Outside high school, I never had any relationship beyond 3 months before I was dumped for another person. This tended to make me shy to try another one. In 1996, I had my heart broken once again by a childhood friend that I thought would work out. When she did a 180 on me and barely talked to me and left me at her own place in Florida to go hang out with friends, I really did a flip in my ways. I decided to take the lead when it came to women and breaking off relationships.

I think I started breaking relationships to sort of relieve my frustration of the past. Nothing ever lasted over 3 months still. After awhile I seemed to slow down and make an effort to give it a try. To this day, I haven't had one last 3 months.

Now I know its a bit different but the girl I am basically with now has been around since 1997. She is the only one I have known online for that long that is still around. We are making more and more plans as we go along. She plans on returning to the US end of Sept and hopefully permanently the beginning of next year. In my heart I feel she is the one as I was comfortable with her right off the bat. Hopefully I have grown out of that 3 month phase lol.

[Hellion]

:devil The last girlfriend I had left me after I got layed off from work. I was very upset but thank goth my friends were there for me.

[Brenda Starrr]

:devil The last girlfriend I had left me after I got layed off from work. I was very upset but thank goth my friends were there for me.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Stupid bitch. How could she just hit the road when things got just a little tough? You can do better than her anyway.

What a stupid bitch.