Is There A Law Against Killing Roommates?!

[Vivian]

I'm gonna end up murdering my roommate. I'm effin serious. It's like 6:22 am, and he is outside my house, setting some flamable shit on fire. In the front yard. In front of my drive way. He scared the shit out of me, by producing a flamethrower like fire right outside of my window, practically infront of my face. So I ask again, is there a law against killing roommates?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

pissed off V

[sass_in_the_pants]

There is, of course, a law against killing roommates.

However, if all of roommate's clothes were to disappear while rommate was showering, and roommate's car keys were thrown into a tree, I think that would have to be chalked up as an 'unfortunate' incident, rather than anything illegal.

I'm just sayin.

[Crazed Vampyress]

roomates that have pissed me off in the past have discovered some of the following 'unfortunate occurrences'

All their shoes were suddenly without laces

Their dresser drawers had no knobs (screwdriver needed)

The lamps/lights in there room had no light bulbs

The antennae to their radio/stereo/boombox seemed to have mysteriously disapeared

Their ketchup (i dont use ketchup) was surprisingly spicy without warning (hot sauce)

and finally....

Their car keys *somehow* got locked inside their car.

Murder, they frown on.... but what can be done about a random unfortunate occurrence?

*tee hee*

[Morbid Side]

I had a roomate who charged cooking me porkchops.

[Head Wreck]

i can reconmend "who dares burns: second strike" for spicing the ketchup but wash your hands thouroghly 3 times afterwards. to dont want that stuff near sensative flesh. i had an invisable film of it on my hand and rubbed my eyes (crying with laughter having spiked the last jam doughnut in a pack and sat waiting with a camera phone. it floored me in agony but i couldnt help but laugh more at the karma of the situation).

ise a spot of it. in the ketchup. you have been warned!

[creatureofthenyte]

this thread is a good example of why people should live alone without roommates if at all possible.

[Hellion]

Awhile ago I had two jobs no weekends to work on and my own place,it was awsome.

that was awhile ago.even living with family also sucks.

[know_buddy_kares]

mix milk and lettuce and let it sit at room temperature for a week.. it will smell JUST LIKE ROTTING CORPSES...

also, find someone who knows latin... then ask them how to say Death to Thee or some weird shit in writing, then take your pinky finger, wipe your forehead and write it on the bathroom mirror. The oils from your forehead will remain invisible until he takes a shower, then the message will be quite clear due to the steam residue... that with the rotting lettuce milk placed somewhere.. he'll think the place is haunted..

If all that fails, go for broke.. wear some whitey tighties, shave off all body hair and head hair.. mix red food dye and cooking oil to make fake blood, or if you're hard core, buy real blood from a butcher... cover yourself in it, and make a blood pentagram... then hold a michal meyers knife while you stay in the middle of the pentagram... candles at each point also works for a cool effect... and if you really wanna get into this.. have a severed animal head from the butcher's there too...

him seing you blood soaked with no hair or eyebrows stripped down to your whitey tighties (no bra either) acting all fuckin paranoid psycho like you're a pissed off scitzo tired of being pushed around by "the voices" while wielding a big ass fuckin knife should have him ready to move the fuck out that second.

Helpful tip, this also works on door to door salesmen, mormans, and jehova's witnesses!

[Vivian]

mix milk and lettuce and let it sit at room temperature for a week.. it will smell JUST LIKE ROTTING CORPSES...

also, find someone who knows latin... then ask them how to say Death to Thee or some weird shit in writing, then take your pinky finger, wipe your forehead and write it on the bathroom mirror. The oils from your forehead will remain invisible until he takes a shower, then the message will be quite clear due to the steam residue... that with the rotting lettuce milk placed somewhere.. he'll think the place is haunted..

If all that fails, go for broke.. wear some whitey tighties, shave off all body hair and head hair.. mix red food dye and cooking oil to make fake blood, or if you're hard core, buy real blood from a butcher... cover yourself in it, and make a blood pentagram... then hold a michal meyers knife while you stay in the middle of the pentagram... candles at each point also works for a cool effect... and if you really wanna get into this.. have a severed animal head from the butcher's there too...

him seing you blood soaked with no hair or eyebrows stripped down to your whitey tighties (no bra either) acting all fuckin paranoid psycho like you're a pissed off scitzo tired of being pushed around by "the voices" while wielding a big ass fuckin knife should have him ready to move the fuck out that second.

Helpful tip, this also works on door to door salesmen, mormans, and jehova's witnesses!

*busts out laughing hysterically* that is just too much! But it wouldn't work, he is atheist, a juggalo, isnt afraid of haunted houses (we went up to Eloise for cryin out loud), and would cheer if i stripped to my skivvies and did blood sacrifices. *sigh*

But alot of you gave me some useful ideas. The bad thing with him is, he can effin pout like a puppy, and I can't stay mad. Damn the puppy dog eyes!!!!!!!

But next time he pisses me off, I'm just gonna cut the power to his room. No lights, no annoying music, muahahahahaha!!!!

[Homicidalheathen]

Are you serious he was out making a flame thrower???

Its only illegal if you get caught......

You could gouge out his puppy dog eyes first....

[Vivian]

And he is at it again, at least this time, he took my mate and now they are both out side, playing with fire. I swear, they are going to get the fire department called. No one ever listens to me, when I say don't do sh*t like that.

My neighbors are going to turn on me, I can just see it. My neighbor next door, is the president of our community and a real *bitch* to live next too. She is always complaining about something and sticks her nose into our business all the time. If she got a hold of the idea that K. and L. are outside catching my lawn on fire, I think she might get us kicked out of our house. Damn. The worse thing is, she can do that. And all the neighbors call her, when something goes down in our neighborhood.

*sigh* They are sooooo stupid. I think I'm going to go hide some of their stuff right now..

[Head Wreck]

get a fire extinguasher and put the fire out and make sure the first blast misses and catches one of your roomates. theres nothing like ice cold C02 or Powder that sauys PUT THAT SHIT DOWN NOW.

i had similar problems once. i vented a helon extinguisher at them (now illegal here)