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Amusing Political Quotations


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“A republican stands up in congress and says 'I GOT A REALLY BAD IDEA!!' and the democrat stands up after him and says 'AND I CAN MAKE IT SHITTIER!!'” - Lewis Black

"You can’t fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up." - George Carlin

"The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it." - George Carlin

"When you think about it, attention-deficit order makes a lot of sense. In this country there isn’t a lot worth paying attention to." - George Carlin

"I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it." - George Carlin

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A lot of these are getting added to my list.

Here are a few from it already.

"Those who suspend civil liberties in the name of security deserve neither liberty nor security." Ben Franklin

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect." - Mark Twain (aka Samuel Clemens)

"First God created idiots, this was for practice. Then he made congress." - Mark Twain(aka Samuel Clemens)

"The citizen who sees his society's democratic clothes being worn out and does not cry out is not a patriot but a traitor." - Mark Twain(aka Samuel Clemens)

"My kind of loyalty was loyalty to one's country, not to its institutions or its officeholders. The country is the real thing, the

substantial thing, the eternal thing; it is the thing to watch over, and care for, and be loyal to; institutions are extraneous, they are its mere clothing, and clothing can wear out, become ragged, cease to be comfortable, cease to protect the body from winter, disease, and death." - From "A Connecticut Yankee In King Arthur's Court" - Mark Twain(aka Samuel Clemens)

"Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it." - Mark Twain(aka Samuel Clemens)

"In the beginning of a change, the patriot is a scarce man; brave, hated, and scorned. When his cause succeeds, however, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot." - Mark Twain(aka Samuel Clemens)

"Liberty under law remains the hope of the world. It is not liberty alone, nor law alone. An excess of liberty is anarchy, from which all men revolt. An excess of law is despotism, from which free men revolt." - Author Unknown

"I will not vote for a bill I have not read." - Rep. Ron Paul

“Freedom Requires eternal vigilance and fresh ammunition. While, exercise builds strength and practice makes perfect.” - Joseph Callewaert

“When politicians fail you, vote from the rooftops.”

"Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff." - Frank Zappa

"Most of the trouble in this world has been caused by folks who can't mind their own business, because they have no business of their own to mind, any more than a smallpox virus has." - William Burroughs

"People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first." - David Comins

"If the First Amendment will protect a scumbag like me, then it will protect all of you. Because I am the worst." - Larry Flynt

"I may not like what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it." - Voltaire

“The punishment which the wise suffer who refuse to take part in the government, is to live under the government of worse men.” — Plato

“You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.” — Jeannette Rankin

“If all mankind minus one, were of one opinion, and only one person were of the contrary opinion, mankind would be no more justified in silencing that one person, than he, if he had the power, would be justified in silencing mankind.” — John Stuart Mill

“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.” — George Burns

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” — Edmund Burke

“Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest.” — Mark Twain

“Courage is contagious. When a brave man takes a stand, the spines of others are often stiffened.” — Billy Graham

“A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.” — George Bernard Shaw

“A government big enough to give you everything you want is a government big enough to take from you everything you have.” — Gerald R. Ford

"Cannibals prefer those who have no spines." — Stanislaw Lem

"Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing." — Vince Lombardi

"Here's the rule for bargains: "Do other men, for they would do you." That's the true business precept." - Charles Dickens (1812-70)

"When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty." - George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

"Assassination is the extreme form of censorship." - George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

"No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other bastard die for his country."

"Grant me the courage not to give up what I think is right, even though I think it is hopeless." - Admiral Chester W. Nimitz

“A speech is like an airplane engine. It may sound like hell but you’ve got to go on.” — William Thomas Piper

“Sometimes the first duty of intelligent men is the restatement of the obvious.” — George Orwell

“A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.” - Douglas Adams

"Don't ever doubt that a small group of dedicated people can make a difference, indeed it is the only thing that ever has." - Margaret Mead

“If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?” - Anonymous

“When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it.” - Clarence Darrow

“Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way.” Anonymous

Keep in mind some of these aren't necessarily political but can be applied to it.

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