Scenario

[saechalyn]

This is not someone you're dating or have strong feelings for- just someone you kinda sorta maybe like, and they maybe kinda like you too. So what do you think?

[Shade Everdark]

Nope, no way.

I'm not even sure that marriage is the best thing for me. I mean, I've no problem waiting, but until marriage? Nope.

[sass_in_the_pants]

If it's someone I only kinda sorta like, I suppose it's not something I need to worry about for the near future anyway.

[creatureofthenyte]

kinda sorta ? Come on now..

If he chooses to wait till marriage, good for him; that's his choice

Its all about what's important to You, since You are the one inquiring with this poll.

Either you can handle his decision, or not.

Me, if I, "kinda sorta" had a mutual crush and I found out she was a virgin wanting to wait till marriage...

I'm sorry, I am old fashioned in Some ways, but its 2007, not 1952.

If I were in a scenario like this, that girl would be waitin alone till marriage.

And, to be clear, lest you think Im some kind of horndog heathen,

Sex means alot more to me then just getting laid; like the greatest gift a couple can give each other, and the closest bond they could ever have, other then marriage.

[Msterbeau]

Um.... I'm not into that waiting for marriage bullshit.

[saechalyn]

Its all about what's important to You, since You are the one inquiring with this poll.

Either you can handle his decision, or not.

Actually it's not about me whatsoever; I'm not looking for advice; I am just curious about how others would handle this situation if it were presented to them.

[creatureofthenyte]

Actually it's not about me whatsoever; I'm not looking for advice; I am just curious about how others would handle this situation if it were presented to them.

Oh ok, I must have gotten the wrong impression then, my bad.

It sounded like a scenario you were potentially involved in, but perhaps didnt want to admit to being in for some reason. I would definitely feel awkward in that scenario if it were me.

[Head Wreck]

as a virgin, i soo no dilema here

[Nienna]

Maybe. If there was an amazing connection mentally it might be worth it. the problem would lie in ther fact that those waiting for marriage are usually also very religious, which IS a HUGE deal breaker with me.

[saechalyn]

It's a dealbreaker. If someone said, I need to wait six months or a year, I could go along with that, but until marriage? No way. I would not take a vow for life to someone without knowing the sex was good!

[wouldu]

it is not a deal breaker only because he/she is only a crush... does not mean I will get with them... normally for me though.. crushes end up with me losing interest quickly..

[Destroit]

If I were a dude and the chick was hot then yeah I would. As a guy, you pretty much can tell what you're going to get, a cunt's a cunt and if she has a tight shirt on you can tell how big her tits are. I actually have a friend who's on DGN here and his gf is pretty religious, they're waiting until marriage and he has no problem. But see, she's pretty, and he's seen her in a bikini before so he knows what he's getting, and if I were a guy in that situation, the waiting might even make it more hot.

As a chick? FUCK no. Men are so deceptive, you'd get hitched and go to uhmmm consumate the marriage and what if he pulls out this dinky little itty bitty vienna sausage? You're screwed because you already signed the papers and kissed the groom, that's what!

[Msterbeau]

If I were a dude and the chick was hot then yeah I would. As a guy, you pretty much can tell what you're going to get, a cunt's a cunt and if she has a tight shirt on you can tell how big her tits are. I actually have a friend who's on DGN here and his gf is pretty religious, they're waiting until marriage and he has no problem. But see, she's pretty, and he's seen her in a bikini before so he knows what he's getting, and if I were a guy in that situation, the waiting might even make it more hot.

As a chick? FUCK no. Men are so deceptive, you'd get hitched and go to uhmmm consumate the marriage and what if he pulls out this dinky little itty bitty vienna sausage? You're screwed because you already signed the papers and kissed the groom, that's what!

Cher... No disrespect intended, but you need to get a clue. Just because a women have the same sex organs, doesn't mean they're all the same in bed. Good sex is largely about what's in a person's head. That's totally an individual thing. It has nothing to do with whether she's hot or has big breasts or whatever physical criteria you care to name. I've been told often that men with big dicks and women with large boobs are often crap lovers because they think that having those physical traits makes them good. Haaaaaahhahahahahahaaa!!!

And you think men are deceptive?????

[Crazed Vampyress]

I had to go with NO WAY, but not all just cuz i like the sexors....

it would have a lot to do with the fact that someone who had that belief most likely would not be compatible with my own beliefs. Im sure the friction would be evident....

oh yea and theres that whole thing where i dont have ANY DESIRE to get married. i havent even had a serious bf in years... i just dont like relationships. im bad at them, theyre bad at me. so the whole sitch would be... JUST NO.

[Scary Guy]

Maybe. If there was an amazing connection mentally it might be worth it.

Very wise

it is not a deal breaker only because he/she is only a crush... does not mean I will get with them... normally for me though.. crushes end up with me losing interest quickly..

I think in advance, you never know what might happen. Running through every scenario well in advance is a very good thing IMO.

Also are we talking no anything, only oral, what are the ground rules? Aside from that who knows if they're a total freak in bed (in a way you don't particularly care for).

Personally though I couldn't wait. I mean I can for a period of time but lets face it, I gots meh needs.

I only picked three because there is always the option to try to turn them, unless they're REALLY adamant about the issue.

[hunhee]

Hellz NO!!! I would NEVER want to be with a guy who wanted to keep it in his pants till marriage. No effin way. Nor would I want a guy who's a virgin (bless my ex for wanting to be with me). I'm not sure about my own skillz, I would want no part of training someone how to fuck. It's all good and sweet, but NO!!!

disclaimer: I'm not saying I want a guy who's had over 1000 sexual partners either, the odds on that one are gross!!

[TygerLili]

It's been my experience that people who say they're going to wait for marriage usually get married between the ages of 17 and 23. Then more than half of them get divorced within a few years later. I'll use Jessica Simpson as an example, though I went to high school with quite a few girls who did this too.

Personally I wouldn't immediately end a relationship because of this, but I wouldn't see much of a future either.

[DJ Nocker]

I dont believe in waiting until your married, but i wouldnt loose interest entirely because the people that ACTUALLY wait, are very very few.

[Fierce Critter]

Umm...

I'm not marrying a penis, I'm marrying a person.

I'm not the most sexual person there is, by far. Not to get into details of my bedroom too much, but after 9 years of marriage, sex is still there, has gotten better, and definitely has some importance to our relationship. But it's not the best part of our relationship at all. Things get done, and sometimes unusual or unusually satisfying things happen. But whether or not the sex would be good or not was so incredibly not high on the list of engagement/marriage deal makers/breakers.

It is sad, laughable and pathetic to me that people would let someone go who, in every other way important, is "right" for them, just because of the possibilty that the sex might not be mind-blowing. I really can't conceive of it.

[Fierce Critter]

And I just asked Jon about this, to get his view of things.

Some of his insight (paraphrased):

The notion of waiting actually sounds romantic.

Yes, sex is important. But it's soooo not the #1 thing in life. It wasn't an issue/determiner for us at all.

My sex drive has decreased some, and Camille's has increased. So things have actually gotten better, as we're more on a par with each other. Don't get me wrong - I'm a perverted horndog. But there's bad in having NO sex, and there's bad when sex is all-important.

I get the impression that when sex is all-important, other things either don't work out or aren't paid attention to. That's when you can have a great fuck, but all day long you fight about money, or the car, etc. It's not worth it.

So what if the sex ends up not great? Maybe one is into it more and needs more satisfaction, and the other - not so much. There's other ways of ensuring you get off. And if the rest of the relationship is great, it's all good.

Yeah. I picked a good 'un.

[Msterbeau]

Umm...

It is sad, laughable and pathetic to me that people would let someone go who, in every other way important, is "right" for them, just because of the possibilty that the sex might not be mind-blowing. I really can't conceive of it.

Sorry Camille, but for some of us... it is important. Sex is not often, just sex. For two people who connect, it can be a very intimate expression of their attraction and love. It doesn't have to be "mind-blowing" but it does need to be satisfying.

If what you and John have works (And clearly, it does) I can't criticize it, but to call the desire for good sex pathetic seems a bit overboard.

[Steven]

Sorry Camille, but for some of us... it is important. Sex is not often, just sex. For two people who connect, it can be a very intimate expression of their attraction and love. It doesn't have to be "mind-blowing" but it does need to be satisfying.

If what you and John have works (And clearly, it does) I can't criticize it, but to call the desire for good sex pathetic seems a bit overboard.

I think she might be saying that its importance on the outset - prior to or aside from - actually developing a relationship first is the "a bit overboard" part and Im actually inclined to agree. Now in fairness I have never waited for anybody but Im im older now and I do many things differently than how I did them before....

in terms of Teenius Weenius - Chernobyl somehow got into my private information file and the secret is out but Im cool with it.

On the flipside - look man if you want to have good sex then BE good at sex.

If you want to be good at sex then friggen LISTEN and learn (give a shit).

compatibility is a willful and cooperative thing, its not DNA based.

[jadnifer]

Ok the fact that I have been with two virgins in the past I can say that I would rather not wait for the simple fact that I dont want to have to teach someone. I want someone that knows what they are doing.

Im not saying that being a virgin is a bad thing. I was at one time. I used to say that I was going to wait until marriage too but we see how well that worked out.

See if the sex isnt satisfying, there is a lack in the relationship. I think that sex is a great part of a healthy relationship if its non-existant or isnt satisfying, then there is a problem.

Kudos to those that do wait though

[Steven]

Ok the fact that I have been with two virgins in the past I can say that I would rather not wait for the simple fact that I dont want to have to teach someone. I want someone that knows what they are doing.

Im not saying that being a virgin is a bad thing. I was at one time. I used to say that I was going to wait until marriage too but we see how well that worked out.

See if the sex isnt satisfying, there is a lack in the relationship. I think that sex is a great part of a healthy relationship if its non-existant or isnt satisfying, then there is a problem.

Kudos to those that do wait though

"Ok the fact that I have been with two virgins in the past I can say that I would rather not wait for the simple fact that I dont want to have to teach someone. I want someone that knows what they are doing."

ok so then you came out the womb all bad ass in the sack then?

I find it interesting that so many people want experience and dont want to have to invest themselves this way, when all of us at one time or another were inexperienced.

"See if the sex isnt satisfying, there is a lack in the relationship. I think that sex is a great part of a healthy relationship if its non-existant or isnt satisfying, then there is a problem."

ok I trip on this one a little bit, the logic of it. try fipping it around just for yucks:

"if there is a lack in the relationship, the sex isint satisfying....if the relationship is not healthy then there is a problem, the sex is non-existant or isint satisfying..." ........just something to think about, thats all.

[CandyQuackenbush]

I had one virgin. He lied about it to me, he said that he had one other girl before me. Then the next day at lunch, he looks at me and says:

"Hey, I have something to tell you."

I was thinking in my head: 'oh shit... I do NOT want this talk...'

Then he looks at me, and says:

"I lied to you, last night, you where my first."

After that, the sex was horrible because he judged sex after porn, and figured that's how it was supposed to be. Oh my god it was just horrid.