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Wtf Isn't Wrong With Me?

Fierce Critter

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Fierce Critter Newbie

Fierce Critter

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I've been feeling all huggy and happy for people lately.

Hmm... could it be that an improvement in my personal life has made me able to be happy for others, too?

Methinks my oft-referenced depression is going into remission...

Gads. I might actually welcome physical contact with others. <-- formerly touchy about... touchy-ness.

I might also start NOT hating that dancing blobby guy.

:happydance:happydance:happydance:happydance:happydance:happydance:happydance:happydance

Hmmm... maybe I'm pushing that one...

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Msterbeau Collaborator

Msterbeau

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I'd love to watch Jon rub you on your cute l'il head...

Gonna be at CC Saturday???

<-- hopeful dreams of homoerotic headstroking between bouts of heinous hoedowns...

Nope. No CC. Company end of the world... er... year... party Saturday night. Hmm... Wait a minute. I can come afterwards *Stream of conciousness* Perhaps I will show up for a drink or two. Haven't seen you in ages.

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Steven Newbie

Steven

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Camille has long been on my list of favorite peeps in any season of her life, because she is gracious, wise, experienced, pretty, caring, funny, honest, talented, brave, and sincere. I admire her greatly. Am I happy that she is in a better place? yes....but not suprised...not at all really, I guess Ive sorta been wiating on it.

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Fierce Critter Newbie

Fierce Critter

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Camille has long been on my list of favorite peeps in any season of her life, because she is gracious, wise, experienced, pretty, caring, funny, honest, talented, brave, and sincere. I admire her greatly. Am I happy that she is in a better place? yes....but not suprised...not at all really, I guess Ive sorta been wiating on it.

First, you totally humble me and touch me when you say such nice things about me, Steven. I'm so thankful.

Second, nobody's been waiting more anxiously than myself. I've been locked in this dismal pall for 4+ years, slowly seeing life pass me by, and feeling absolutely screamingly unable to do anything about it.

The recovery is coming along so very, very suddenly. A LOT of it is due to certain private family situations MASSIVELY improving. There has been a lot of stuff going on in my family life that I have not been at privilege to share, rant, or detail publicly because it would be inconsiderate to those besides myself who are/were involved. It's been utter hell, and there were moments I thought I couldn't bear any more. I never was suicidal, mine's not that sort of depression. But I did picture myself losing it totally, and eventually ending up alone, on the streets, completely off my rocker and helpless. I nearly checked myself into the hospital a couple times.

But that's over. I'm still guarded on a couple issues. But if things continue in the vein they are now, things can only get better, and better, and better.

It's the most exciting period in my life thusfar. The most optimistic I've been for the future, and so happy to be in the now as well.

The improvement in our financial situation is definitely part of it. But with everything else that needed to be worked out, we could have maintained status quo and I'd still be just as elated.

I was out shopping yesterday. One of my first stops was to put air in my tires at a gas station. I had 50 cents ready, because most machines charge that. When I realized I only needed a quarter, I went to put the other quarter back in my wallet. But then I thought, "you know, I can spare this quarter. And I know how many times I've pulled up to these things and found myself without change." So I left the quarter on top of the machine for the next person to come along.

And then one of the stores I was at was doing this charity thing where they would ask if you would round your amount due up to the nearest dollar to give the change to a charity. And without hesitation, I said yes. And that felt really good.

And leaving another store, there was a Salvation Army bell ringer. And I prepared to give my usual, "sorry, not today" response. But instead, stopped, pulled out my wallet and went to unzip the change compartment. But then, reached into the main part and got out a dollar. And stuck it in the bucket.

Paltry pennies, I know. But we are coming out of a very long, hard 9 years that sometimes had us digging bottles out of trash cans to make ends meet. We sometimes couldn't spare that dime here, quarter there. We can, to a small extent, do that now. And it feels wonderful.

What a great way to feel at Christmastime. It's a feeling I'm sure will continue into the next year. And I'm very excited. :)

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Steven Newbie

Steven

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First, you totally humble me and touch me when you say such nice things about me, Steven. I'm so thankful.

Second, nobody's been waiting more anxiously than myself. I've been locked in this dismal pall for 4+ years, slowly seeing life pass me by, and feeling absolutely screamingly unable to do anything about it.

The recovery is coming along so very, very suddenly. A LOT of it is due to certain private family situations MASSIVELY improving. There has been a lot of stuff going on in my family life that I have not been at privilege to share, rant, or detail publicly because it would be inconsiderate to those besides myself who are/were involved. It's been utter hell, and there were moments I thought I couldn't bear any more. I never was suicidal, mine's not that sort of depression. But I did picture myself losing it totally, and eventually ending up alone, on the streets, completely off my rocker and helpless. I nearly checked myself into the hospital a couple times.

But that's over. I'm still guarded on a couple issues. But if things continue in the vein they are now, things can only get better, and better, and better.

It's the most exciting period in my life thusfar. The most optimistic I've been for the future, and so happy to be in the now as well.

The improvement in our financial situation is definitely part of it. But with everything else that needed to be worked out, we could have maintained status quo and I'd still be just as elated.

I was out shopping yesterday. One of my first stops was to put air in my tires at a gas station. I had 50 cents ready, because most machines charge that. When I realized I only needed a quarter, I went to put the other quarter back in my wallet. But then I thought, "you know, I can spare this quarter. And I know how many times I've pulled up to these things and found myself without change." So I left the quarter on top of the machine for the next person to come along.

And then one of the stores I was at was doing this charity thing where they would ask if you would round your amount due up to the nearest dollar to give the change to a charity. And without hesitation, I said yes. And that felt really good.

And leaving another store, there was a Salvation Army bell ringer. And I prepared to give my usual, "sorry, not today" response. But instead, stopped, pulled out my wallet and went to unzip the change compartment. But then, reached into the main part and got out a dollar. And stuck it in the bucket.

Paltry pennies, I know. But we are coming out of a very long, hard 9 years that sometimes had us digging bottles out of trash cans to make ends meet. We sometimes couldn't spare that dime here, quarter there. We can, to a small extent, do that now. And it feels wonderful.

What a great way to feel at Christmastime. It's a feeling I'm sure will continue into the next year. And I'm very excited. :)

you know what Love?

there is nothing ever paltry about giving....and God see's everything, giving has always been about the heart of the giver, not the surface value of the gift. When you give you sow seeds of faith, even if it seems like no one notices...doors open up anyway.

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