Yo Momma Jokes

[Homicidalheathen]

Yo mama is so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the bathroom scale.

Yo Mama is so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a species will be extinct.

Yo Mama is so fat, the highway patrol made her wear ”Caution! Wide Turns!”

Yo’ mama is so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

Your mama is so fat, that she uses the refrigerator for her lunch box.

Your mama is so fat, a bus drove by and she said, ”Stop that Twinkie!”

Yo mama’s so fat, she wore an X-Files T-shirt and a helicopter landed on her.

Yo Mama is so fat, when she told me her weight I thought it was her phone number.

Yo’ Mama is so fat, she took up pages 41, 42 and 43 in her school yearbook.

Yo mama is so fat, when you walk around her you get lost.

Yo mama is so fat, when she steps on wieghts it says: To be continued.

Yo Momma Like

a hardware store - only 10 cents a screw.

Yo Momma Like a bus - only 50 pence a ride

Yo Momma Like a 747 - a 3 man cock pit!

Yo Momma Like a shotgun - first she cocks...then she blows.

Yo Momma Like a Hoover - she sucks, blows, and finally gets laid back in the closet...

Yo Momma Like a BT phonebox - on every damn corner and costs only 20p a go

Yo Momma Like an arcade machine - dirty, smelly, costs 20 pence and lasts 30 seconds

Yo Momma Like a door knob - cos everybody gets a turn!

Yo Momma Like the sun - if you stare at her too long you're gonna go blind.

Yo Momma Like a Christmas tree - everybody hangs balls on her.

Yo Momma Like Pizza Hut - not there in 30 minutes...it's free.

Yo Momma Like a Bowling Ball - she gets picked up, fingered, thrown into the gutter, yet she still comes back for more...

........a stamp - you lick her, then stick her, and finally then send her away.

..........McDonalds ... Billions and Billions served...

.............a railroad track - she gets laid all over the country.

........the Pillsbury dough boy - everybody loves to poke her

Yo Momma Like, a Scooter - everybody ridin her but nobody admitting it

Yo Momma Like, peanut butter -- oh so smooth, creamy, and easy to spread.

[Tryp]

Love it.

[Homicidalheathen]

What are the first 3 words in any mexican cookbook?

Steal a chicken.

I am being really really bad on purpose cause I want a spanky.

[Homicidalheathen]

What are the first 4 words in any chinese cookbook?

Steal the neighbors cat.

[Dollardave]

Yo mommas so fat her belt size is equator.

Yo mommas so fat her blood type is rocky road.

I'm done.

[Para Bellum]

Your momma's so fat she doesn't take pictures, she takes posters.

Your momma's so fat she wipes her ass with a mattress.

Your momma's teeth are so crooked when she bites into a piece of cake it spells "Jesus".

Know what's between your momma's titties? Her bush.

Your momma's so stupid she thought a quarterback was a refund.

[Hellion]

1. Your mamma's so fat,she has more rolls than a bakery

2.Your mamma's so fat,when she dances,she makes the band skip

3.your mamma's so fat,she irons her clothes on the driveway.

4.your mamma's so ugly,even the tide won't take her out

5.Your mamma's so ugly,they had to feed her with a slingshot,blindfolded

6.your mamma;s so ugly,they had to tie a porkchop around her neck so the dog would play with her.

7.your mamma's so fat,she has more cheese than the state of Wisconsin.

8.your mamma's so fat,when she got the flesh eating virus,the doctor gave her 15 years to live.

9.Your mamma's so fat,her ass has its own hemishpere

10,your mamma's fat when she goes to the resturaunt to eat,they give her an estimate,not a menu.

[predaking]

[predaking]

What are the first 3 words in any mexican cookbook?

Steal a chicken.

I am being really really bad on purpose cause I want a spanky.

[jadnifer]

Yo Momma so stupid she tripped over a cordless phone

Yo Momma so stupid she got hit by a parked car.

Yo Momma so fat she fell on a quarter and squeezed a booger out of George Washington's nose.

Yo Momma so stupid she walked past a YMCA and thought that they spelled Macy's wrong.

I have more, I just need to think about them.

[Hellion]

Your mamma's so fat that her kneecaps are in two different zip codes

your mamma's so fat she is the spandex seam tester

[Der Nister]

The oly one I could remember..........

Yo mamma is so fat, your dad has to roll her in flour to find the wet spot.