Head Wreck Posted January 17, 2008 Report Share Posted January 17, 2008 Dave came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white Robe. 'Who the hell are you?' demanded Dave, 'and what are you doing in my bedroom?' The mysterious man answered 'This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter.' Dave was stunned 'You mean I'm dead!?!! That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family. You've got to send me back right away.' St Peter replied 'Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.' Dave was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. 'This ain't so bad' he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him. The farmyard rooster strolled over and said 'So you're the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?' 'It's not so bad' replies Dave, 'but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode.' 'You're ovulating' explained the rooster, 'don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?' 'Never!' replies Dave. 'Well just relax and let it happen. So he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him. . . .Ever!!! The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting... 'Dave, wake up you drunken bastard, you've shit the bed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CandyQuackenbush Posted January 17, 2008 Report Share Posted January 17, 2008 Bwahhhhhh HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA That's fucking awesome! But I still wondering how you got this story of Odims and I in the bedroom. Thanks for changing the name of the guy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onyx Posted January 17, 2008 Report Share Posted January 17, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jadnifer Posted January 17, 2008 Report Share Posted January 17, 2008 OMG!! That was HILARIOUS!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
predaking Posted January 18, 2008 Report Share Posted January 18, 2008 lmao, that was not what I expected Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tryp Posted January 18, 2008 Report Share Posted January 18, 2008 Lmao, nice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
odims_sphere Posted January 18, 2008 Report Share Posted January 18, 2008 I swear I felt just like a hen... it's not my fault!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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