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DGN Coffee house...


phee

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I could've done it.. What's it to you, to any of you what I do. I could've robbed that Pastery, but I was baked, the talking muffins in my head were telling me I lost a quarter.. one of them was named Petey, he liked to be pissed on, that sick bastard.

A man-woman by the name of Lucinda came up to me and asked me if I wanted some Gumby; I rubbed my beard, I needed a close shave. I told the creature to leave me alone before I threw a Tito Puente ballad at it's face, I was selling watches- somebody had to do it, somebody always has to do the dirty work.

Felix was jumping around now, he just never knew how to settle down. I wouldn't blame him, he was an Albino dwarf, around 33 with a chip on his shoulder, Frito-Lay to be exact.. but I can't tell from there.

He was on a mission he would say, a mission from The Nacho, and at the time I didn't know what that was- but I kept him around cause he could balance coffee mugs on his head, and it got me out of some tight police chases.

I always needed a good mug balancer, and sometimes I forgot he even had a mug there in the first place.. the physcologists called it "flow." I like to call flow diahrea. I'm a man on a mission, and shit's not in my dish of goals. Nevertheless, flow was something I liked, the idea, not the stream of shit emptying out into a cup in the backroom at a local ice cream shop.. oh cmon, we all know that's where it was filmed.

..and so there I was, standing outside Tim Hortons with a toy rifle in my hand that obviously looked fake. No, I wasn't planning on robbing the place, Felix and I just had to go rough someone up, a real troublemaker, a blackmarket dealer and such. Her name was Suzy Pringle and she was 17 years old. That donut making bitch had bit off more taffy than she could chew, and it was payback time.

I stormed through the door, stopped in the foyer for a second to look at the job applications.. they had benefits.. saucy benefits.

Felix tugged at me and yelled, "Yo motha fucka come on we gotta raid diz bitch fo-shizzle."

God he was right, from the "Nacholicious" coffee mug on his head to his thick lensed glasses and polyestor hot-pink jacket.. his plaid shorts and combat boots glimmering in the artificial light of that accursed pastry making slave-factory... It was go time.

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...b-b-but...DEPTH PERCEPTION...how will you drive our crew around when Pest is D-runk on Krunk?

Naw, I'm good, and is everyone going to just shorten his name down to Pest like they shortened mine to Cher? That makes me laugh a bit 'cause I just saw The Pest for the first time like two days ago :laugh: (I know...I'm the person that always ends up seeing a movie 12 years or so after it comes out).

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Naw, I'm good, and is everyone going to just shorten his name down to Pest like they shortened mine to Cher? That makes me laugh a bit 'cause I just saw The Pest for the first time like two days ago :laugh: (I know...I'm the person that always ends up seeing a movie 12 years or so after it comes out).

...yeah...then you tell me I missed a movie I never heard of? :rofl:

Yeah...I started typing him that when he had the name change...THAT DAY!

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