V-day

[Msterbeau]

Saw an article about it in my local paper... It's of importance to me, regardless, but especially since I have daughters.

"V-Day is a movement built around replacing Valentine's Day with "V-Day," changing it from a day of celebrating romantic love to a day of awareness of sexual abuse and violence perpetuated against women and girls, with the "V" alternately standing for "vagina," or "victory." The movement was started in the late 1990s by author, playwright and activist, Eve Ensler in conjunction with her play The Vagina Monologues. While Ensler originally intended the play to be a celebration of female sexuality, she re-wrote portions of it and added new segments to shift the focus to sexual violence against women. She later used the play as a launching ground for the "V-Day Movement," which Ensler outlined as a series of performances of the play on Valentine's Day, accompanied by the distribution of literature to educate attendees on violence perpetuated against women and girls. Since its inception, the movement has grown to include film festivals centered around screening films about rape and sexual violence, protests, charity benefits, and demonstrations.

In 1998, a non-profit charity, "V-Day," was incorporated with the intent of using performances of the Vagina Monologues to raise money to benefit female victims of violence and sexual abuse. Beginning in the early 2000s, V-Day activities expanded to international summits, with V-Day proponents travelling to the Middle East and North Africa to spread their message.

In 2006, over 2,700 V-Day benefit events were coordinated by volunteer activists in the U.S. and around the world, educating millions of people about the reality of violence against women and girls."

http://www.vday.org/main.html

[Gaf The Horse With Tears]

Why exactly do we need to give up Valentine's Day for this?

[Msterbeau]

I don't think anyone said give up the traditional Valentines Day, did they?

[Gaf The Horse With Tears]

"V-Day is a movement built around replacing Valentine's Day with "V-Day,"

Yes, you.

[creatureofthenyte]

The article was interesting. Although when I first saw this post, I thought it was aboot valentine's day, which makes me queazy. I think that if you're with someone and you love each other, then calling attention to it on just one day as opposed to every day, is kind of lame.

[Msterbeau]

"V-Day is a movement built around replacing Valentine's Day with "V-Day,"

Yes, you.

Bwahhaaa!! I invoke my ADD/lack of memory excuse.

Hmmm... In that case, I agree with you. I'm all for using the day to remind people about these issues but I don't see replacing Valentines Day's original purpose.

[Head Wreck]

what about male victims of violence and sexual abuse?

but of course naming a day penis day will probably get all the soapbox superstars on thier high horses

[Msterbeau]

what about male victims of violence and sexual abuse?

but of course naming a day penis day will probably get all the soapbox superstars on thier high horses

"Gender trends: Women make up 3/4 of the victims of homicide by an intimate partner. Actually, 33% of all women murdered (of course, only cases which are solved are included) are murdered by an intimate partner. Women make up about 85% of the victims of non-lethal domestic violence. In all, women are victims of intimate partner violence at a rate about 5 times that of males."

http://www.findcounseling.com/journal/dome...statistics.html

Clearly woman are far more likely to be victims then men. But if you want to start a P-Day, I'll sign up to do a Penis Dialog. We can have it on the first day of hunting season since that's a great big testosterone-fest anyways... :-)

[Gaf The Horse With Tears]

Does that take into account that most Female on Male domestic violence is not reported? How about Female on Children?

Did you know that women have a far higher rate of violence against children than men?

Did you know that 4.2% of women claim to be victoms of domestic violence... and the exact same percentage of men claim domestic violence by women. The difference is in how many men make official complaints.

http://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/articlere...i?artid=1123557

http://www.criminalattorney.com/pages/firm...io_innocent.htm

http://www.mencanstoprape.org/info-url2699...tm?doc_id=49604

http://www.blackwellpublishing.com/journal...6563&site=1

http://www.zurinstitute.com/femalebattererscourse.html

http://www.forensicnursemag.com/articles/391lifedeath.html

http://www.ejfi.org/DV/dv-4.htm

There are major difficulties in obtaining reliable statistics in this area but mental health studies consistently show that in heterosexual couples only 20-25% of the time is domestic violence solely male-on-female. The same studies show that 25-30% of the time the violence is exclusively female-on-male, with the remainder mutual combat. However, one agreeable result emerges from these studies: The safest place for a woman is in her home with the biological father of her children.

[saechalyn]

Raising awareness about violence against women is a noble and laudable goal, but I find it really annoying that they feel the need to "replace" valentine's day in order to do so.

[SuZQZ]

Does that take into account that most Female on Male domestic violence is not reported? How about Female on Children?

Did you know that women have a far higher rate of violence against children than men?

Did you know that 4.2% of women claim to be victoms of domestic violence... and the exact same percentage of men claim domestic violence by women. The difference is in how many men make official complaints.

http://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/articlere...i?artid=1123557

http://www.criminalattorney.com/pages/firm...io_innocent.htm

http://www.mencanstoprape.org/info-url2699...tm?doc_id=49604

http://www.blackwellpublishing.com/journal...6563&site=1

http://www.zurinstitute.com/femalebattererscourse.html

http://www.forensicnursemag.com/articles/391lifedeath.html

http://www.ejfi.org/DV/dv-4.htm

You're serious. I wonder how those percentages would change if you took into account all of the women, and believe me the number is staggering, who never report domestic violence or sexual abuse/violence. *shakes head and leaves thread*

[Reaper]

Does that take into account that most Female on Male domestic violence is not reported? How about Female on Children?

Did you know that women have a far higher rate of violence against children than men?

Did you know that 4.2% of women claim to be victoms of domestic violence... and the exact same percentage of men claim domestic violence by women. The difference is in how many men make official complaints.

http://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/articlere...i?artid=1123557

http://www.criminalattorney.com/pages/firm...io_innocent.htm

http://www.mencanstoprape.org/info-url2699...tm?doc_id=49604

http://www.blackwellpublishing.com/journal...6563&site=1

http://www.zurinstitute.com/femalebattererscourse.html

http://www.forensicnursemag.com/articles/391lifedeath.html

http://www.ejfi.org/DV/dv-4.htm

I am sure that a lot of men don't report it as it makes them look weak. Surely the number is bigger as you say.

[Gaf The Horse With Tears]

My point is that domestic violence is not a problem just for females. It's an injustice to the male victims to trivialize what happens to them and regulate it to the sidelines as not being worthy of attention.

but hey... they are only men. lets all take Suzoz stance and refuse to even discuss it. If we ignore it, it will go away.

[Fierce Critter]

Christ.

Please.

Leave.

Valentine's Day.

Alone.

We don't all find it foolish, unnecessary, or unworthy of existing.

As for having a day recognizing violence against women? How about fucking laws and taking situations of ALL violence seriously? Help a woman out before her stalker ex-husband stabs her 36 times? That sort of thing?

And yes, it could apply to men as victims, too.

Sheesh.

[Head Wreck]

personaly i wouldnt mind seeing valentines day replaced by any other normal day.

its the one time of the year i absolutely LOATHE.

to many years deciding friend or foe on this day allong with my birthday have led me to say "FUCKIT". it has its side affects (like i never remember my age when asked without a moment to ponder and do math) but generally i'm less prone to outbursts.

SuZQZ, please dont take offence at Gaf and myself, we do recognise the violence that goes on to women, and in my personal opinion anyone who commits such an act is less than human. but i have twice been on the recieving end of kitchen utensils wielded by the respective girlfriends at the time (or just after). it does happen against men but there are those who want people to forget that fact and just generally push thier point across for the attention that standing on a soapbox does.

why have one day to educate about sexual violence when it should have been as integral to the socialisation of children as learning to tie laces, to speak, to read, and to judge right from wrong

[CandyQuackenbush]

I hate Valentines day because I used to be a Floral Desinger.

I hate those people that walk in 10 minutes before I close down my department and want a 150 boquet, and want it now, and want it half price.

[Destroit]

Not that this is 100% true, but I did hear it from two separate college classes (sociology and psychology). There's a chance that one class could have screwed it up and gave me false information somehow, yet the odds of both college classes screwing up and giving wrong info is very slim.

They told me that now (and this hasn't always been the case) there are actually more cases of violence from women toward men, especially in domestic situations. Like much more, almost double.

Like I said, I couldn't verify that myself, but I did learn the same statistic from two separate sources. On top of that, in my personal experience I've never seen a man hit a woman, but I've seen a good amount of women totally whomp their boyfriends/husbands. I don't mean roughed them up a little, I mean totally wrecked their shit.

Either way, I always thought the domestic violence awareness whole thing was stupid. Why? Because if you're in an abusive relationship, and you don't like it, then get the fuck out of it. If at anytime you're getting hit by your significant other and it doesn't occur to you "heeeyy...this ain't right!" then well, I'm not gonna say you deserve it, but you're definately a little dumb and need to get a grip/clue and then get the fuck out, in that order.

[Gaf The Horse With Tears]

The links I posted above are real studies on domestic violence. They all show that violence by women against men is far more prevalent then violence by men against women. Though off the top of my head i cant remember if it has always beent he case.

[TygerLili]

I hate Valentines day because I used to be a Floral Desinger.

I hate those people that walk in 10 minutes before I close down my department and want a 150 boquet, and want it now, and want it half price.

It's been my experience that working in retail/customer service related jobs will make you hate all holidays.

Christ.

Please.

Leave.

Valentine's Day.

Alone.

We don't all find it foolish, unnecessary, or unworthy of existing.

As for having a day recognizing violence against women? How about fucking laws and taking situations of ALL violence seriously? Help a woman out before her stalker ex-husband stabs her 36 times? That sort of thing?

And yes, it could apply to men as victims, too.

Sheesh.

Thanks, FC, that pretty much sums up my feelings on the subject as well.

[Destroit]

The links I posted above are real studies on domestic violence. They all show that violence by women against men is far more prevalent then violence by men against women. Though off the top of my head i cant remember if it has always beent he case.

Soooo...I r correct?

YES! : (sorry, this doesn't happen all the time). I will now gloat/strut.

[EAF (1)]

I originally thought this was about Valentine's Day too XD and no I don't think it should be replaced...because even though people should always love one another, they sometimes don't...I mean like friends a family too, so I think a day once a year is a nice reminder to just care for others.

And as far as abuse and violence...well...I agree with Critter we should be more worried about preventing it and how to spot and stop it...awareness with how they do it nowadays unless you do it with gusto is just half assed half the time and once the people who started it are gone it becomes almost like a joke. So in my opinion awareness just dones't cut it...we need to acutally act upon more things...

[SuZQZ]

Does that take into account that most Female on Male domestic violence is not reported? How about Female on Children?

Did you know that women have a far higher rate of violence against children than men?

Did you know that 4.2% of women claim to be victoms of domestic violence... and the exact same percentage of men claim domestic violence by women. The difference is in how many men make official complaints.

http://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/articlere...i?artid=1123557

http://www.criminalattorney.com/pages/firm...io_innocent.htm

http://www.mencanstoprape.org/info-url2699...tm?doc_id=49604

http://www.blackwellpublishing.com/journal...6563&site=1

http://www.zurinstitute.com/femalebattererscourse.html

http://www.forensicnursemag.com/articles/391lifedeath.html

http://www.ejfi.org/DV/dv-4.htm

My point is that domestic violence is not a problem just for females. It's an injustice to the male victims to trivialize what happens to them and regulate it to the sidelines as not being worthy of attention.

but hey... they are only men. lets all take Suzoz stance and refuse to even discuss it. If we ignore it, it will go away.

Did you take into account that most Male on Female domestic violence is not reported? Did you take into account that most Male on Female sexual violence is not reported?

To clarify, I never stated that physical or sexual violence does not happen to men. I never trivialized physical or sexual violence in anyway, regardless of gender. Violence against any person is wrong. Period. And I certainly could never ignore it. I have to live with it. Everyday. But your post made me feel like you were trivializing the violence against women. That women abuse/attack men more than vice versa. I personally don't believe it due to my personal experiences and those of women I know. No study could be accurate since most women will never come forward, not even anonymously. It also seems, IMO, that the abuse against men appears to more largely be at the hands of other men, rather than at the hands of women. Sexual abuse at the hands of a priest, prison rape, etc. We know this happens and we are all disgusted and outraged.

My point is that there is no way to have accurate studies on the actual number of women (and children) who have suffered from physical or sexual violence as a large percentage of women (and children) never come forward, not even anonymously. It's not just out of embarrassment. It is out of fear, and that kind of fear rarely diminishes when you've been violently attacked or subjected to continuous abuse. And I do know that the number of men who have experienced abuse is not accurate either, as many of them have not come forward. My experiences have shown me that women and children come foward less often than men do out of sheer fear for their lives.

The links I posted above are real studies on domestic violence. They all show that violence by women against men is far more prevalent then violence by men against women. Though off the top of my head i cant remember if it has always beent he case.

personaly i wouldnt mind seeing valentines day replaced by any other normal day.

its the one time of the year i absolutely LOATHE.

to many years deciding friend or foe on this day allong with my birthday have led me to say "FUCKIT". it has its side affects (like i never remember my age when asked without a moment to ponder and do math) but generally i'm less prone to outbursts.

SuZQZ, please dont take offence at Gaf and myself, we do recognise the violence that goes on to women, and in my personal opinion anyone who commits such an act is less than human. but i have twice been on the recieving end of kitchen utensils wielded by the respective girlfriends at the time (or just after). it does happen against men but there are those who want people to forget that fact and just generally push thier point across for the attention that standing on a soapbox does.

why have one day to educate about sexual violence when it should have been as integral to the socialisation of children as learning to tie laces, to speak, to read, and to judge right from wrong

I agree. Physical, emotional, or sexual abuse/violence by anyone to anyone is subhuman and people like that are pieces of shit. I take it you never reported the physical abuse these two women subjected you to, just as I never reported any of the abuse and violence I was subjected to. It's horrible enough when permanent psychological damage has been done, but when a victim has been abused/attacked to such degrees that hopitalization or death are the outcome, it makes my blood boil that much more. And an excellent point that education from an early age would serve better than trying to set aside a day of recognition. That is why I personally would not support a V-Day as it was described. IMO, if a day of recognition and education like that was created it should be on the whole of domestic violence abuse and sexual violence as a focus. Maybe then more men, and possibly even more women and children, would feel safe to come forward.

[Head Wreck]

your right, i never reported them.

don't know why.i wouldnt report them now as i wasnt in any serious harm, had worse kickings in school

[Gaf The Horse With Tears]

I don't have PhD after my name or any other letters that would make me any kind of authority on the subject. I do on the other hand have a pretty decent reading comprehension and an analytical mind. I can also spot politics when I see it. Hype is hype.

I am not trivializing what has happened to you or any other individual... but one person's life is not the whole of the world or human existence/experience. If I did, I would still be inclined to believe woman are the one's that commit the crimes more often because it was my mother than would hit me, my brother, my sister and my father with anything that was handy when she was mad... she put my father in he hospital twice by hitting him with cast iron frying pans.

There are people who study and treat victims of abuse who are not part of a political organization. They have a tendency to say that women are the perpetrators of domestic violence more often than the victims there of.

BTW, we are talking about non-sexual physical abuse... not sex crimes. I don't know what the statistics are on that but I will say I don't by into the feminist hype that men can't be raped by women.

Read the articles. Women not reporting is taken into consideration as is men not reporting.

[Hellion]

I don't have PhD after my name or any other letters that would make me any kind of authority on the subject. I do on the other hand have a pretty decent reading comprehension and an analytical mind. I can also spot politics when I see it. Hype is hype.

I am not trivializing what has happened to you or any other individual... but one person's life is not the whole of the world or human existence/experience. If I did, I would still be inclined to believe woman are the one's that commit the crimes more often because it was my mother than would hit me, my brother, my sister and my father with anything that was handy when she was mad... she put my father in he hospital twice by hitting him with cast iron frying pans.

There are people who study and treat victims of abuse who are not part of a political organization. They have a tendency to say that women are the perpetrators of domestic violence more often than the victims there of.

BTW, we are talking about non-sexual physical abuse... not sex crimes. I don't know what the statistics are on that but I will say I don't by into the feminist hype that men can't be raped by women.

Read the articles. Women not reporting is taken into consideration as is men not reporting.

your right Gaf

If my uncle was still alive he would tell you about the chick he went out with that actually tried to murder him 6 years ago.