V-day

[xbittergracex]

Those of you upset that this is focusing on women, I see where you are coming from. However, I don't think any of this means that its NOT meant for men either...I think its just women supporting women and I'm sure that nobody here or there lack sympathy for men who are victims of sexual assault. I also doubt that a male victim would be turned down by these same institutions if they sought support.

This issues is also extremely close to my heart, unfortunately. In addition to this being a really great article...I also wanted to add this little bit for anyone interested.

RAINN *Rape and Incest National Network* is taking volunteers to help run their ONLINE hotline. This is a huge step for them. Just consider the number of people who may come forward for help with the anonymity of the internet! Until now, the only online help that was available were simply sites with informations, and a few forums and chatrooms. This will be an instant messaging format, and there will be trained volunteers working in shifts. I cannot tell you what a huge deal this is. They are offering training classes, and taking volunteers NOW.

The shifts can be as little as an hour and is totally set up by you!

Please go to RAINN's website, and check it out. They even have a little tour of the system.

Click here to check it out. This is so important and needs support!!!!

[sass_in_the_pants]

So, the V is supposed to be for EITHER victory OR vagina? Those are pretty different words...

Maybe it should be a celebration of all words that begin with V? Violets? Violins? Vibrators?

Seriously, as long as I still get my chocolate covered strawberries you can all call it whatever you want.

[SuZQZ]

I don't have PhD after my name or any other letters that would make me any kind of authority on the subject. I do on the other hand have a pretty decent reading comprehension and an analytical mind. I can also spot politics when I see it. Hype is hype.

I am not trivializing what has happened to you or any other individual... but one person's life is not the whole of the world or human existence/experience. If I did, I would still be inclined to believe woman are the one's that commit the crimes more often because it was my mother than would hit me, my brother, my sister and my father with anything that was handy when she was mad... she put my father in he hospital twice by hitting him with cast iron frying pans.

There are people who study and treat victims of abuse who are not part of a political organization. They have a tendency to say that women are the perpetrators of domestic violence more often than the victims there of.

BTW, we are talking about non-sexual physical abuse... not sex crimes. I don't know what the statistics are on that but I will say I don't by into the feminist hype that men can't be raped by women.

Read the articles. Women not reporting is taken into consideration as is men not reporting.

I thought that was one of the dominant points of the article posted.

Saw an article about it in my local paper... It's of importance to me, regardless, but especially since I have daughters.

"V-Day is a movement built around replacing Valentine's Day with "V-Day," changing it from a day of celebrating romantic love to a day of awareness of sexual abuse and violence perpetuated against women and girls, with the "V" alternately standing for "vagina," or "victory." The movement was started in the late 1990s by author, playwright and activist, Eve Ensler in conjunction with her play The Vagina Monologues. While Ensler originally intended the play to be a celebration of female sexuality, she re-wrote portions of it and added new segments to shift the focus to sexual violence against women. She later used the play as a launching ground for the "V-Day Movement," which Ensler outlined as a series of performances of the play on Valentine's Day, accompanied by the distribution of literature to educate attendees on violence perpetuated against women and girls. Since its inception, the movement has grown to include film festivals centered around screening films about rape and sexual violence, protests, charity benefits, and demonstrations.

In 1998, a non-profit charity, "V-Day," was incorporated with the intent of using performances of the Vagina Monologues to raise money to benefit female victims of violence and sexual abuse. Beginning in the early 2000s, V-Day activities expanded to international summits, with V-Day proponents travelling to the Middle East and North Africa to spread their message.

In 2006, over 2,700 V-Day benefit events were coordinated by volunteer activists in the U.S. and around the world, educating millions of people about the reality of violence against women and girls."

http://www.vday.org/main.html

And I agree that yes, men can in fact be raped or be victims of sexual violence at the hands of a woman, just as they can be the victims of physical, emotional and verbal abuse.

What your mother did is awful and unacceptable. No excuses. How horrible to have to live through and witness such anger and abuse. I can see why you focused on physical abuse and how adimantly you focused on women being the perpertrator. My experiences, and those of my friends (even the males who have confided in me) have been physical abuse and sexual violence at the hands of men. Understandably, I am quite passionate about these atrocities, particularly sexual abuse, regardless of the gender or age of the victim, or the gender or age of the perpetrator.

As for V-Day being hype. I don't know. Never seen the Vagina Dialogs, never read it or seen it and I don't plan to, but I think it began as women trying to support women. It's not a bad thing, until it is used for political evil instead of public good. I would rather see people supporting people. I would rather see education and awareness raised about abuse of all kinds and victims of all kinds.

And xbittergracex, great information. I intend to check it out and also pass it on. I know many people who will be interested in it, both from looking for help and wanting to help out.

[the eternal]

The Vagina Monologues (not dialogues) is a phenomenal play!

You SHOULD see it. (it's on DVD, you know)

The Vagina Monologues is a recounting of these tales of women who were ashamed or even unaware of their sexuality taking ownership of it.

It's great!

There's even a story of a child asking real questions, and innocently exploring her vagina.

--and let's face it--

We need to have an honest dialogue with children, so they grow up not afraid of their bodies.

The more education and understanding they have, they less likely they will turn out having an unhealthy even abusive attitude toward sexuality--which is what we all should be striving for

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think Valentine's is what you make it, romantic or total Hallmark/FTD-inflated crap.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To make Ensler's V-day all things V would be trivializing it.

It is a tool to take a day which is traditionally thought of romance, to something more pressing, violence and rape. By focusing on that, we are asking people to look at issues that we usually sweep under the rug but shouldn't.

Regardless of who's right here, we need to work to make discussion of sexuality, and of sexual/domestic violence not so taboo.

We need to work to make everyone, men or women, feel that they can come forward and speak out about this.

If you're beaten within an inch of your life, or you're raped repeatedly by your partner, it's not a "family matter,"

it's a health matter,

and it's a societal matter,

ESPECIALLY in the sense that we're taught to always look the other way.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And if we really want to look at this as both genders, then we need to stop looking at this as a liberal

"woman's issue"

"Oh it's a domestic violence bill" "I don't really care about feminist crap like that"

I'm sick of men thinking it's hippyshit-feminism to want to end rape and violence.

EVEN if you DO think its perpetuated by all men, thats no excuse to turn a deaf ear.

It could be your sister, your best friend, your mother.

We need to have some more fucking laws with teeth, and have both sides of the aisle, and both genders, actually give a shit.

We need more judges to actually care about the violence and not the length of skirt

(or for men, to actually take a claim of abuse seriously--we're not alpha males and guess what--sometimes physical superiority may not help you when you're emotionally crippled by your partner )

We need to get out of this he said/she said bullshit and actually stand up and care if our neighbor's being used as a punching bag and blowup doll with no needs or feelings of their own.

It IS our responsibility.

NO ONE has the right to be violated or abused.

And I honestly think that you could have a thousand clothesline projects and Take back the Night rallies tomorrow and most people still wouldn't give a rats ass if a woman was killed every 8 hours (or every 8 minutes for that matter) in this country.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On a lighter note, I don't want to eliminate Valentine's but,

I think there's always room for a Vagina holiday. (kinda like jello--some even like to combine the two)

I love vaginas, and I feel they need their share of worship in all the many ways that they can be.

Unlike the aforementioned mono logues, I've been fortunate to have successful dialogues with a few vaginas in my life, and I can say I've become very enriched by the end result of those non-verbal conversations.

I take pride in every "victory" celebration that comes of such dialogues,

and I look forward to keeping the lines of communication, or 'pathways to praise' open between myself and one vagina in particular.

But again that's just me.

Viva la Vageen!

PS Rainn is a f*&^in awesome organization!

[Kit Kat P]

I am not a fan of Valentines day at all. That being said I don't think it should be replaced, at all, or downplayed by something else. I wouldn't mind it downplayed w/ less retail involvement though.

I wouldn't mind a day about stopping abuse, any and all abuse. Something along the line of national denim day. I think both genders have equal capacity towards violence and evil. I think both genders act out the same. I do think there needs to be ways to identify it and help the victims.

Sometimes the abusers need help just as much as the victims.

And Chernobyl not everyone in an abusive situation feels that they have the ability to leave, and not all forms of abusive are clear cut and quickly spotted. Just because someone is in abusive situation doesn't mean that they don't want out. Nor do they in any way deserve or are asking for what is happening because they aren't leaving.

[Destroit]

So, the V is supposed to be for EITHER victory OR vagina? Those are pretty different words...

Maybe it should be a celebration of all words that begin with V? Violets? Violins? Vibrators?

Seriously, as long as I still get my chocolate covered strawberries you can all call it whatever you want.

YES! So it is settled:

The 14th day of February will now be known, officially, as Va-chocolate-covered-strawberries-and-possibly-boxed-chocolates-if-your-SO-is-feeling-generous Day.

Otherwise known as V-Day.

[jadnifer]

I think there should be a day where these crimes are addressed. Really, they should be addressed all the time.

Men are just as likely to be raped as women are. Crimes against men occur. You guys are right in the respect that not a whole lot of men report it. Men can be raped by men or women or vice versa. These are just awful crimes and of course they need to be addressed. They can even have a National Day where they want everyone to address the problem.

Just dont take away Valentine's Day which is a day when partners celebrate their love for each other that dont committ crimes against each other and replace it with a day centered around partners committing crimes against each other. They are two completely different things and one should NOT replace the other.

[the eternal]

Violence may be equal, but I honestly don't think men are raped nearly as much as women.

Our culture objectifies and encourages sexual predatory instincts toward women much more than men.

As sexy as the Chippendales are, the sexualization and objectification of women is instituitionalized on a MUCH grander scale than men, and no anecdotal stories of male rape will change the societal norms and values that backs that up.

It, of course does exist on both ends, but I'd be shocked if sexual violence was found to be equal on both ends.

Take war, for example.

Rape is considered a prize of war. Women are raped, not men, regularly by invading armies to show dominance of the invading country.

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In other news, AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT SUPPORTS A VAGINTINES DAY?

[bean]

I don't want to be reminded of past sexual/physical violence on Valentines Day. It's not a pleasant thing to think about (obviously). I want to be lovey and mushy on Valentine's Day, not reliving past trauma.

And you know what? It's hard to leave an abusive relationship when you are in fear for your life, especially if he tried to take your life when you left before...it's really hard to get the nerve to leave that kind of situation, but really freeing when you finally do.

I agree that there should be some sort of day dedicated to people who have been abused (men and women), but there should also be better laws and education protecting people from abuse.

Also, I'm really fucking sick of the gender divisions.

Men get abused.

Women get abused.

Men are abusers.

Women are abusers.

SEXUAL AND PHYSICAL VIOLENCE IS NEVER ACCEPTABLE.

Capiche?

[Steven]

actually no, men get butt boofed in war time by other men too, more so than ever, but it has alwasy been around and simply never talked about. Talk to a soldier who has seen things though, and you might get another story.

and besides that, in just the street wars of say....highland park in Los Angeles men definately get butt boofed - its not just a prison thing or a local jail thing, there are "wars" going on everywhere. I know of a couple who were BOTH raped and stabbed repeatedly in Venice Beach at right about dinner time.....(ie it was not even dark yet) simply for being in the wrong place at the wrong time in in the wrong territory.

but in general - especially in this day and age - both men and women are abusers, of every sort - nothing is gender specific.

and the idea of replacing (god how we we love to do that to tradition as if the newer generation knows actually something the older did not even though their lives bear no true evidecne of it) Valentines day with V Day....look man, if you want to stand up and be counted, then just pick a random wenedsday and mark your calanders for IM ANOTHER FUCKING VICTIM DAY and leave Valentines day alone. But you can count me out, thats for sure.

I once WAS a victim of many forms of abuse - from both males and females for many years.

I no longer AM a victim. Im done with it.

And I have shit to do with my life, like get on with it.

I dont need a holiday to recognize me or my past or to remind me fo what I know better than anybody and I dont need to be celebrated for getting thru it.

God how we love our labels, it grosses me out. Fucking V day, whats next?

Violence may be equal, but I honestly don't think men are raped nearly as much as women.

Our culture objectifies and encourages sexual predatory instincts toward women much more than men.

As sexy as the Chippendales are, the sexualization and objectification of women is instituitionalized on a MUCH grander scale than men, and no anecdotal stories of male rape will change the societal norms and values that backs that up.

It, of course does exist on both ends, but I'd be shocked if sexual violence was found to be equal on both ends.

Take war, for example.

Rape is considered a prize of war. Women are raped, not men, regularly by invading armies to show dominance of the invading country.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In other news, AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT SUPPORTS A VAGINTINES DAY?

[saechalyn]

I don't want to be reminded of past sexual/physical violence on Valentines Day. It's not a pleasant thing to think about (obviously). I want to be lovey and mushy on Valentine's Day, not reliving past trauma.

Yeah...spending quality time with a loved one sounds a lot more healing and empowering than dwelling on past trauma.

and the idea of replacing (god how we we love to do that to tradition as if the newer generation knows actually something the older did not even though their lives bear no true evidecne of it) Valentines day with V Day....look man, if you want to stand up and be counted, then just pick a random wenedsday and mark your calanders for IM ANOTHER FUCKING VICTIM DAY and leave Valentines day alone. But you can count me out, thats for sure.

I once WAS a victim of many forms of abuse - from both males and females for many years.

I no longer AM a victim. Im done with it.

And I have shit to do with my life, like get on with it.

I dont need a holiday to recognize me or my past or to remind me fo what I know better than anybody and I dont need to be celebrated for getting thru it.

Right on.

[the eternal]

I don't want to be reminded of past sexual/physical violence on Valentines Day. It's not a pleasant thing to think about (obviously). I want to be lovey and mushy on Valentine's Day, not reliving past trauma.

I agree that there should be some sort of day dedicated to people who have been abused (men and women), but there should also be better laws and education protecting people from abuse.

Capiche?

and the idea of replacing (god how we we love to do that to tradition as if the newer generation knows actually something the older did not even though their lives bear no true evidence of it) Valentines day with V Day....look man, if you want to stand up and be counted, then just pick a random Wednesday and mark your calenders for I'M ANOTHER FUCKING VICTIM DAY and leave Valentines day alone. But you can count me out, thats for sure.

I no longer AM a victim. I'm done with it.

And I have shit to do with my life, like get on with it.

I don't need a holiday to recognize me or my past or to remind me for what I know better than anybody and I don't need to be celebrated for getting thru it.

God how we love our labels, it grosses me out. Fucking V day, whats next?

I can completely appreciate what Bean (and to some extent Steven and Saechalyn) are saying.

You don't want to f^%$ up Valentine's Day, and you don't want to relive the past, and you CERTAINLY don't want this to be just a woman thing, because it reinforces the view that abuse is a "women's issue"

That's all true.

But if Eve Ensler wants to speak out against violence against women, at least she's PART of the solution.

Here's why I like you personally Steven.

You have been through more shit than 90% ofthe people on DGN and are doing better than 90% of people on here. (IMHO)

That's awesome!

Guess what??

You're not like most people.

Some people don't know how to get out of those relationships.

Some people don't know how to come to terms with shit.

And some people are not going to change tomorrow, even WITH Jesus.

They blame themselves,

they keep it inside,

and they slowly die while engaging in a cyclical behavior where

they seek out abusive situations because they don't know how to act otherwise

And I guaranf&^%intee you, the general public DON'T know how pervasive abuse is,

because if they did,

the laws would be a little stronger

there would be better rape, not sex, rape education in schools

and maybe, just maybe, we could do something even MORE significant than the "poor me" culture you bemoan,

and that would be the "ostrich culture"

where we look the other way even if our sister is getting beaten, because "it's a family thing"

--------------------------------------------------------

But "IM ANOTHER FUCKING VICTIM DAY " as you call it, IS important.

I worked at a woman's center.

I facilitated groups, YES, as a man.

If any of you really have a problem with the gendered view of abuse, FUCKING do something about it.

Talk to them.

Change things.

These women by and large, are not man-haters, they're women supporters,

and there's a big difference in that.

They are open to educating and supporting all people.

But hardly anyone goes to them with the other side of the coin...

You just stew in chat rooms, and feed the ostrich culture, heads in the sand.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AND GUESS WHAT, MANY women NEED people like

Eve Ensler and

women's centers

and

Take Back The Night.

Let me tell you something about THAT particular "IM ANOTHER FUCKING VICTIM DAY "

I went to a TBTN holding another woman's hand.

She was raped, and she didn't know how to come to terms with it.

And she listened to the other speakers up there, saying what she couldn't.

And she cried and cried.

AND it helped Her immensely.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm so glad you and Saechalyn don't need that kind of help, and I fully appreciate that Bean doesn't want to be

reminded of the shit she went through.

But at least she went through therapy.

She faced her demons, and is stronger for it.

She's one of the strongest, most amazing people I'll ever meet.

And I thank g-d every day for meeting her.

But she didn't do it without a little help.

And maybe, just maybe, for SOME people, not you, but SOME PEOPLE,

it takes an "IM ANOTHER FUCKING VICTIM DAY " to get through it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SO

UNTIL,

every gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered person feels comfortable with who they are without self hatred and suicidal tendencies

THERE WILL BE A PLACE FOR GAY PRIDE....

AND UNTIL

every woman feels safe leaving her home (or being in her home for that matter)

THERE WILL BE A PLACE FOR TAKE BACK THE NIGHT and VDAY

AND UNTIL

there is an end to:

the reproductive rights ban in dozens of countries

and where it's legal to sentence a woman to death for uncovering her head

AND where there's a full prohibition of the basic principles of freedom, justice, and equality

THERE WILL BE A PLACE FOR INTERNATIONAL HUMAN RIGHTS DAY

AND UNTIL

no one is abused

THERE WILL BE A PLACE FOR "IM ANOTHER FUCKING VICTIM DAY "

------------------------------------------------------------

It HELPS people

It EDUCATES people

It makes the voiceless feel they are NOT ALONE

AND

If nothing else, it at least tells people that there's a problem and SOMEONE

wants to do something to end it.

Which is A LOT MORE than

sitting on a keyboard bemoaning a woman for WHAT???

For touring the world to end violence against women.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just because you're strong enough to not need any support,

DON'T F%$#ING TELL the thousands of people that are helped and educated by things like this,

that

their NEEDS, although different from you're own, don't matter.

[Steven]

that may have been the worlds longest post.

and it was a good one.

I'll try to add something (hopefully) worth considering....

First - I applaud your willingness to give of your own time, energy, and resources to help people who have been victimized. I understand this dynamic intimately, which is one of the reasons I am fond of discussing mentorship - because I understand its potency to heal and reveal truth. Because like you - I get involved and have been for many years.

exhale.

that being said - and with a smidge of caution to the wind (how I hate caution - it is my eternal no pun intended enemy):

I beleive

that too many support systems

have a tendency

to reinforce the stigma

of your past tragedies as a defining sort

which in turn

weakens you in the long run

and tethers you to your ruin

or at least CAN do so in fairness

by the numbers.....large numbers

and I often find myself concerned

with the social impact of "trends"

and how they continue to manifest in coming generations.

Its just an opinion Bro - submitted humbly by someone who has spent many years on both sides of the coin.

In my opinion - you have "earned" (cant think of a better term) your right to your perspective and I certainly respect and admire it - honestly do.

and Likewise I've earned my right to my perspective, with an adder, that I dont have the answer.

as for this gal - more power to her. I admire passion.

I get it.

but leave my traditions (whats left of them) alone.

Stop pushing for "better" substitutes founded in the personal tragedies of your own life experience.

Live your life, stand where you will, say what you will......but dont do it by supplimenting an old voice. I think thats more than reasonable. I dont want to take any of my shit - valid socially relavent shit - and push it into an pre existing spotlight that was originally intended for something else.

you know last week in my marriage class I led them through my life story - of which most of you in here know very very little. Laura likewise, told her story. We did this to exemplify the power of a personal testimony. The idea behind it - was/is - to write it all out- everything you can come up with, especially those poignient and life changing moments - in order to split the experiences into two sub categories:

The negative (oppressive) lessons learned

The Positive (Liberating) lessons learned.

so that in knowing your story you can begin to get a better feel for your own programming and how it reflects in your relationships, what cycles have taken over, what tendencies you have - based in root dynamics - so that we can do more than simply acknowledge them, but can begin to do our own therapy. You cant change what you dont acknowledge.

I know Im not like most people, i know that.

I also know why.

first, because I was abused. it "did something" to me.

2nd - because I have been (and continue to seek out) mentored by various people over the years. They taught me to take hold of my life, to assume full responsibility for what I am now. I'm still learning that.

I know that not everybody is strong.

I feel that I am indeed, strong, maybe even stronger than most people, as cocky as that sounds.

But I only feel that way in opposition to the depth of my weakness that used to define me, a stupid as I know that sounds. I had alotttttttttttt of work to do. Im still doing the work.

I beleive true strength is a bi-product of community first, then self challange and a great deal of hard work.

I understand your call for stronger laws and personal awareness of next door abuse.

but I dont (personally) see that as a solution.....abusers have always been here, and always will and they are very creative.

I beleive the answer lies in a personal healthy sense of burdon on a grand scale, taught within the family unit and exemplified with constancy within a like minded community.

we have lost that sense of burdon for common decency and the recognition that we can - just because we should - just because we can - get involved. and thats a good summerization of my Jesus trip that you referred to. I have a feeling that is is way more relational and human grounded than you might think. Like if somebody ever asked me whats the number one thing Jesus ever did for me to change my life the answer would be very simple:

he challanged me.

and now you have challanged me

in a good way.

because I have hangups from my past, i do.

In terms of involvement - 80% of society is all talk or in favor of an outside studied approach which I detest. I have put myself in physical / emotional / spiritual / economical harms way for other people more than you will ever know, for many years - and in some cases - in some very stupid and reckeless ways, and God let me live anyway.

But there are also times when I know I have to admit that I fear becoming fearful (again).

And I fear assuming the identiy of a victim ever again.

that was a hopless life, I cannot return to that mindset as it would literally kill me.

but that does not mean its a balanced approach, what I do - like I said - I'm STILL working things out.

and I will give some thought to your post Eternal. Especially that comment about other people's needs in light of my own. Your absolutely right about that-straight up.

and I appreciate what you said about me.

but the truth is, i simply had no other choice left and had maxed out all my other options and was dying. There was nothing in my DNA that got me thru it - hell it was my DNA that led me there, and a handful of multi generational abusers.

Viva la Raza

Steven

[bean]

I can completely appreciate what Bean (and to some extent Steven and Saechalyn) are saying.

You don't want to f^%$ up Valentine's Day, and you don't want to relive the past, and you CERTAINLY don't want this to be just a woman thing, because it reinforces the view that abuse is a "women's issue"

That's all true.

But if Eve Ensler wants to speak out against violence against women, at least she's PART of the solution.

Here's why I like you personally Steven.

You have been through more shit than 90% ofthe people on DGN and are doing better than 90% of people on here. (IMHO)

That's awesome!

Guess what??

You're not like most people.

Some people don't know how to get out of those relationships.

Some people don't know how to come to terms with shit.

And some people are not going to change tomorrow, even WITH Jesus.

They blame themselves,

they keep it inside,

and they slowly die while engaging in a cyclical behavior where

they seek out abusive situations because they don't know how to act otherwise

And I guaranf&^%intee you, the general public DON'T know how pervasive abuse is,

because if they did,

the laws would be a little stronger

there would be better rape, not sex, rape education in schools

and maybe, just maybe, we could do something even MORE significant than the "poor me" culture you bemoan,

and that would be the "ostrich culture"

where we look the other way even if our sister is getting beaten, because "it's a family thing"

--------------------------------------------------------

But "IM ANOTHER FUCKING VICTIM DAY " as you call it, IS important.

I worked at a woman's center.

I facilitated groups, YES, as a man.

If any of you really have a problem with the gendered view of abuse, FUCKING do something about it.

Talk to them.

Change things.

These women by and large, are not man-haters, they're women supporters,

and there's a big difference in that.

They are open to educating and supporting all people.

But hardly anyone goes to them with the other side of the coin...

You just stew in chat rooms, and feed the ostrich culture, heads in the sand.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AND GUESS WHAT, MANY women NEED people like

Eve Ensler and

women's centers

and

Take Back The Night.

Let me tell you something about THAT particular "IM ANOTHER FUCKING VICTIM DAY "

I went to a TBTN holding another woman's hand.

She was raped, and she didn't know how to come to terms with it.

And she listened to the other speakers up there, saying what she couldn't.

And she cried and cried.

AND it helped Her immensely.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm so glad you and Saechalyn don't need that kind of help, and I fully appreciate that Bean doesn't want to be

reminded of the shit she went through.

But at least she went through therapy.

She faced her demons, and is stronger for it.

She's one of the strongest, most amazing people I'll ever meet.

And I thank g-d every day for meeting her.

But she didn't do it without a little help.

And maybe, just maybe, for SOME people, not you, but SOME PEOPLE,

it takes an "IM ANOTHER FUCKING VICTIM DAY " to get through it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SO

UNTIL,

every gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered person feels comfortable with who they are without self hatred and suicidal tendencies

THERE WILL BE A PLACE FOR GAY PRIDE....

AND UNTIL

every woman feels safe leaving her home (or being in her home for that matter)

THERE WILL BE A PLACE FOR TAKE BACK THE NIGHT and VDAY

AND UNTIL

there is an end to:

the reproductive rights ban in dozens of countries

and where it's legal to sentence a woman to death for uncovering her head

AND where there's a full prohibition of the basic principles of freedom, justice, and equality

THERE WILL BE A PLACE FOR INTERNATIONAL HUMAN RIGHTS DAY

AND UNTIL

no one is abused

THERE WILL BE A PLACE FOR "IM ANOTHER FUCKING VICTIM DAY "

------------------------------------------------------------

It HELPS people

It EDUCATES people

It makes the voiceless feel they are NOT ALONE

AND

If nothing else, it at least tells people that there's a problem and SOMEONE

wants to do something to end it.

Which is A LOT MORE than

sitting on a keyboard bemoaning a woman for WHAT???

For touring the world to end violence against women.

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Just because you're strong enough to not need any support,

DON'T F%$#ING TELL the thousands of people that are helped and educated by things like this,

that

their NEEDS, although different from you're own, don't matter.

[jadnifer]

I really enjoyed reading The Eternal's posts and he made some very good points and I'm not arguing the fact that people should much more aware of violence toward men and women alike.

I'm just saying that they don't have replace a day for lover's with a day for helping those that have been through traumatic experiences.