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Ghost In A Shell


predaking

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4:30 am

"Here we go again" I think as I slowly rise to my feet, same shit different day right? The same routine day in day out with no means of escape, you wish, you hope, you pray that things will be different but the never change not matter how hard you try. "I am better then this, stronger then this" that voice replays over and over in my head, the voice is right its the rest of the world that makes it seem wrong.

"I wish I was somewhere else" the same mind numbing thought day in day out, I'm so used t it that it no longer registers. "This is all there is" life's motto, more like crual joke. Everything becomes one and the same, colors fade to gray, and I grow numb to everything around me. "I wish..." the same begining to a different statement every second of every minute of every hour of every day. "I wish I wasnt alone" the same wish made day in day out and then I see her.

Like somthing right out of my twisted dreams she walkes by. Every hate, every self lothing remark, evrey wish but one goes away in a blinding flash replaced with an image of her form burned into my brain and one wish, the only wish that was worth wishing to me "I wish her heart was mine..."

I make eye contact, only for a second...more then enough time. I'm just a ghost in a shell the inside betrayed by the fleshy prison i'm forced to wear, "shes outta my league" I tell myself, it helps soften the blow of reality. That moment, that second our eyes met somthing happened that nether one of us knew... a small piece of happiness was found though fleeting it was there. Like me she is also a ghost in a shell, forced to be what the outside projects. Nether of us knew that we share the same longing for each other and because of the roles forced onto us by our outer skins... we never will.

Forced to walk alone a Ghost trapped in a shell.

10:00 pm

"Finaly it's over" one more day under my belt, the thought of her fades, replaced by nothing... a welcome change.

Time for sleep...........................................................................

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4:30 am

"Here we go again..."

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