Curious...

[hunhee]

Can guys and gals (when they're both straight) be friends together without there being something funny (sexual undertones) going on between them? Or some past sexual relationship, or some curiousity brewing?

I don't have a whole lot of guy friends, and none that haven't said something funky to me about wanting to date me. Or that they would be interested, given the right situation.

Is this true for ALL guy/girl friendships or is this just me?

[xbittergracex]

I think its possible to just be friends.....but you have to deal with those things when they come up....and I do believe they ALWAYS come up. So is it possible to just be friends without SOMETHING funny going on? Not in my opinion. However, I think its easily dealt with in most cases...

[saechalyn]

I have guy friends with no sexual undertones. It's definitely possible.

Edited to add: it flickers across your mind, of course, but as long as both people agree that you're better off as friends there's no problem. It is annoying when everyone and their grandmother tries to shove the two of you together though.

[SuZQZ]

Two of my ex-boyfriends were originally friends for years prior to our dating. I also have other male friends who have always been just that, friends with no romantic/sexual desires on either side, who I expect to be life long friends. So it is possible to be friends only with someone of the opposite sex, though it seems that many times someone is probably harboring feelings for the other person and is settling for friendship in lieau of a romantic relationship.

[saechalyn]

though it seems that many times someone is probably harboring feelings for the other person and is settling for friendship in lieau of a romantic relationship.

That's very true. I've been on both sides of that; it's dicey.

[freydis]

Can guys and gals (when they're both straight) be friends together without there being something funny (sexual undertones) going on between them? Or some past sexual relationship, or some curiousity brewing?

I don't have a whole lot of guy friends, and none that haven't said something funky to me about wanting to date me. Or that they would be interested, given the right situation.

Is this true for ALL guy/girl friendships or is this just me?

I have quite a few male friends who've never expressed anything of the sort to me, and I don't wanna date them, either.

I do have a few who *have* expressed such things, however. So its a mixed bag. But it's definately possible to be friends with the opposite sex and not have any funny business going on.....

[ManicQueen]

For me, I think it's best just to avoid the opposite sex all together, especially if you're in a relationship.

I wouldn't go and hang out with another man and I would expect that same respect from my partner.

[TygerLili]

Can guys and gals (when they're both straight) be friends together without there being something funny (sexual undertones) going on between them? Or some past sexual relationship, or some curiousity brewing?

I don't have a whole lot of guy friends, and none that haven't said something funky to me about wanting to date me. Or that they would be interested, given the right situation.

Is this true for ALL guy/girl friendships or is this just me?

Yes, when the guy and girl are related!

Seriously, though, I think it's possible, but I think cases of guy/girl friendship when one or the other hasn't had at least a passing interest in the other person at one time are pretty rare.

Thinking back to my friendships with guys, past and present, I can only come up with 2 that never expressed some sort of interest in me at some time, and I had crushes on both of them.

I think it's far more common for people to remain nothing more than friends because either those feelings are never acknowledged, or because they are addressed and the decision is made that it's better to remain just friends.

I appologize if any of that doesn't make sense, I'm really tired right now.

[Head Wreck]

Can guys and gals (when they're both straight) be friends together without there being something funny (sexual undertones) going on between them? Or some past sexual relationship, or some curiousity brewing?

yes it is possible. i have a few friends with nothing brewing so to speak

I don't have a whole lot of guy friends, and none that haven't said something funky to me about wanting to date me. Or that they would be interested, given the right situation.

Is this true for ALL guy/girl friendships or is this just me?

no its not true.

[Shade Everdark]

I have guy friends with no sexual undertones. It's definitely possible.

Edited to add: it flickers across your mind, of course, but as long as both people agree that you're better off as friends there's no problem. It is annoying when everyone and their grandmother tries to shove the two of you together though.

Oo, oo, pick me, pick me!

Ahem. It's entirely possible. Indeed, historically, most of my closest friends have been women.

I can say, however, that it was a bit annoying, though also a bit amusing, when mutual friends starting placing bets on when we'd hook up.

[predaking]

this is like When Harry Met Sally. Can you be friends... Yes but one side will always "feel" the other wether its spoken or not.

[Destroit]

All of my friends were dudes until I came on DGN. I only went out with one of them, and we're obviously still together.

So...this case is closed. I can usually only enjoy the company of other women if they're A) goth chicks or B) gay chicks. Ironic, no?

Dat's why I loves most of you other girls on here . Thanks for showing me the light (I almost lost hope in the female species entirely).

[Winter Steele]

Well... Yes and NO, it depends on the person and the circumstance. I have had lots of guy friends (just friends), when I was a Teen . However lately most of my male friendships have led to sex and relationships. Yeah, I'm Married and it almost cost me my best friend I love my husband too much to talk to any guys anymore? :confused:

[Homicidalheathen]

Most of my guy friends I used to go with so I would say no.........

Except the gay ones. Maybe those.

Most of the guys I know flirt at least......it doesn't mean anything.....hell I like it in a friendship.......its perfectly innocent and harmless I know they don't mean it.

Hell even with the girls I know, even the str8 ones......there is flirty at least when they get drunk.

[creatureofthenyte]

I think it's possible to do anything you set your mind to, as long as you believe in yourself.

That being said, I think its totally possible to be just friends with the opposite sex.

I know this from first hand experience.

Brooke says she can't do that, and thats ok, its just not for her which is fine.

I have a thought on that Id like to share, and that is, if you are in a relationship, and you and your partner trust each other implicitly, then hangin out with a dude or chick should not be an issue at all. I clearly see how it could be an issue. No, wait.....I love it when my mind kicks in. If you're in a relationship, hangin out with an opposite gendered friend, could cause tension....ah I get it....

I can be totally platonic with a woman, and seeing as how I do not see myself getting into another relationship anytime soon, if ever again at all, platonic is the way to go for me.

Its all largely dependant on what the two people in the situation, decide to do. If its decided that its gonna be just friends, then thats what it will be, if they wanna screw, they will.

Just like everything else in life, its a series of choices...

[Nienna]

MOST of my friends are men. I don't want to date most of them. Granted, therte have s=been some occasions where a friendship resulted in a relationship.. or casual sex... or weirdness. For the most part though, it's been just fine. I do find I get pretty fiercely protective of them though.. like brothers or something.

[prettystar1sky]

It's very possible to have males and females being in a total platonic friendship. I live with a guy. We're cool. I don't see him as an "after midnight snack" and he doesn't see that of me. I have a great handful of other guys that are my friends and we've never done anything more than hug. Then I have a few that were previous intrigues but things are cool now.

[jcheeka]

I think you can be just friends with the opposite sex. Although sometimes the lines can get blurred if you are really good friends.

[livininxtcgoth]

90% of the time there will be some sort of sexual or romantic attraction as an undertone to your friendship.

but growing up almost every one of my friends were guys. yes there were times when one or both of us were at least somewhat interested in each other, but it hasnt really ruined any friendships.

regardless of any sort of attraction, i think that MUCH more often than not you can have a completely healthy friendship with a member of the opposite sex.

[Fierce Critter]

Hmm.

Before I married Jon, my best friends were all guys.

I had good, totally platonic relationships with most of them.

The ones that crossed the line, however, were my fault. Unfortunately, I spent most of my early to mid 20's feeling desperate and often made a nuisance of myself with some of these guys, trying to push the friendships into something they really didn't want to pursue. This pushed a lot of these guys away eventually, which sucked.

My relationships with those whom I didn't annoy, however, were wonderful. They were all my "protective brothers." It worked out that way 'cause I was the only chick in the group. I loved it.

Now that I'm married, I don't really pursue friendships with guys anymore. There's things that change when you get married. Some couples can maintain opposite-sex friendships with people they knew prior to being married. That's cool, I guess. Since I didn't have any friends when I married Jon and he was in the same boat, any friends we hang with are going to have to have been made post-wedding date. We have a certain understanding we've worked out between us about hanging with members of the opposite sex. In a nutshell, it's fine in groups, not cool one-on-one. There are certain exceptions, we're not crazy. But things definitely have changed with the addition of rings to our left hands.

[Steven]

Can guys and gals (when they're both straight) be friends together without there being something funny (sexual undertones) going on between them? Or some past sexual relationship, or some curiousity brewing?

I don't have a whole lot of guy friends, and none that haven't said something funky to me about wanting to date me. Or that they would be interested, given the right situation.

Is this true for ALL guy/girl friendships or is this just me?

the majority of my friends are women. Some of them I will meet up with one on one, to go hang, or get something to eat, or go see a band or whatever, lots of times Lola is nto with us - its just me and said "friend". But because I'm not (nor are they) entertaining ideas of anything out of order - we are just homies hangin. And I love women in general, I love the way they think, I love the way they put ideas togethor, i love the way they use their feminine power, I appreciate all of that. But I dont let it take a life of its own.

"Curiosity"......I dont know that thats technically "wrong"....just like attraction in and of itself is not technically wrong. And I only say this because as you grow to know and appreciate somebody - even in a strictly platonic environement - a certain degree of attraction can sometimes creep in, I think thats natural.

what you DO with it however - is what counts. If I were on the market and open for business, I might allow that attraction (if it exists) to lead me in a particular direction if the vibe seemed mutual. But since Im not open for business - I keep my man to woman freindships grounded and innocent, thats not hard to do. There have been a couple of occassions where I found myself (or she did and uh oh - weirdness creeping in) TOO preoccupied with said "freind".....once Ive realized that that has happened I have pulled back and let that danger zone fizzle out, as it usually does 99.9% of the time.

[JaneDead]

Can guys and gals (when they're both straight) be friends together without there being something funny (sexual undertones) going on between them? Or some past sexual relationship, or some curiousity brewing?

most definately. i have always had mostly guy friends. i know some of them have liked me in the past but over all most of them have been friendships completely without any sexual interest towards each other.

now sometimes i find my guy friends good looking. but the same could be said about my female friends. but that is not sexual either.

i have friends who don't think men and women can be friends so they (and their partner) do not have friends of the opposite sex. usually only have "couples" friends in that case. that to me is called "insecure". if you can't be friends with the opposite sex while you are in a relationship/marriage- you have issues.

i like hanging out with guys (over all) better than girls. always have. and there's NEVER been anything "funny" going on between us.

[hunhee]

So, the answer is ... No there can't be a guy/girl (straight) friendship without there being sexual undertones, and that's okay as long as you don't act on them?

Hmm.. I think I know why I didn't have guy friends for a long time, if they weren't there, it's like denying yourself the possibility to be lead astray.

[predaking]

So, the answer is ... No there can't be a guy/girl (straight) friendship without there being sexual undertones, and that's okay as long as you don't act on them?

Hmm.. I think I know why I didn't have guy friends for a long time, if they weren't there, it's like denying yourself the possibility to be lead astray.

yup, so now you know and knowing is half the battle!

[hunhee]

yup, so now you know and knowing is half the battle!

GI-JOE!!!!!

hehe had to do it.