Am I A Failure?

[twilight]

If I want to move away from my problems and aliments ...

I just feel the need I need a break and I don't think I can wait until my vacation. I am also so sick that I might not have any vacation days left :( And what if I get fired for missing today?

I am sad b/c I had a good chance of moving out if I stayed in the job I have but what if you are too ill to stay.

[Rayne]

If I want to move away from my problems and aliments ...

I just feel the need I need a break and I don't think I can wait until my vacation. I am also so sick that I might not have any vacation days left :( And what if I get fired for missing today?

I am sa b/c I had a good chance of moving out if I stayed in the job I have but what if you are too ill to stay.

Some jobs you can take a leave for mental health reasons.

[twilight]

But that would actually involve telling them there is something wrong with me. They know too much info already. We have EAP.

[Kit Kat P]

EAP?

employee assistance program?

[CandyQuackenbush]

You're not a failure because you have some issues. You're only a failure if you allow them to completely ruin/take over your life.

You seem to have a good head on your shoulders, you're just having the same things that everyone else has. Perhaps a vacation is in order, but at the same time, when you get your moments *and everyone gets a free moment no matter what they say*, do something that will make you smile.

When I get stressed out, I try to read a good book, or make something. IE: hair or food. It doesn't have to be much, but when you can't take the time off, try to give yourself 30 minutes a day and relax.

Like I said, everyone can make "Me Time", it's just a matter of when. I mean shoot, you have to go to bed sometime. You just don't rush around at work and home and then just *BAM* fall down and go beddy bye, do you? Because sometimes that 30 minutes, is just what you need.

[Msterbeau]

You're not a failure because you have some issues. You're only a failure if you allow them to completely ruin/take over your life.

You seem to have a good head on your shoulders, you're just having the same things that everyone else has. Perhaps a vacation is in order, but at the same time, when you get your moments *and everyone gets a free moment no matter what they say*, do something that will make you smile.

When I get stressed out, I try to read a good book, or make something. IE: hair or food. It doesn't have to be much, but when you can't take the time off, try to give yourself 30 minutes a day and relax.

Like I said, everyone can make "Me Time", it's just a matter of when. I mean shoot, you have to go to bed sometime. You just don't rush around at work and home and then just *BAM* fall down and go beddy bye, do you? Because sometimes that 30 minutes, is just what you need.

Saying someone is a failure because unhealthy issues have taken over their life seems pretty judgmental. Ever hear of hitting rock bottom but then turning your life around? Even if a person doesn't... did you walk in their shoes? Do you have their genetics? Their weaknesses? Whatever abuse and horrors they may have experienced? Me neither.

So.. twilight, no, you're not a failure. The fact that you're concerned and asking questions means that you're aware that things are not OK and you're taking the first steps to work on them. That's a good place to be.

[Steven]

Saying someone is a failure because unhealthy issues have taken over their life seems pretty judgmental. Ever hear of hitting rock bottom but then turning your life around? Even if a person doesn't... did you walk in their shoes? Do you have their genetics? Their weaknesses? Whatever abuse and horrors they may have experienced? Me neither.

So.. twilight, no, you're not a failure. The fact that you're concerned and asking questions means that you're aware that things are not OK and you're taking the first steps to work on them. That's a good place to be.

shes not (Candy) saying twighlight is a failure Marc, shes saying that failure sets in when we stop directing our own lives and instead are controlled by outside circumstances. I think thats just a wise warning, not a measure of worth.

all of us have seasons of failure. Until we start forcing ourselves to move into another phase - sort of like behaving your way to success.

regardless of our genetics, abuses, environements, and horrors, we still at some point have to deal with ourselves or outside influences will do it for us. I think twilight is kind of toe tipping into that pool....and I hope she continues.

[CandyQuackenbush]

shes not (Candy) saying twighlight is a failure Marc, shes saying that failure sets in when we stop directing our own lives and instead are controlled by outside circumstances. I think thats just a wise warning, not a measure of worth.

all of us have seasons of failure. Until we start forcing ourselves to move into another phase - sort of like behaving your way to success.

regardless of our genetics, abuses, environements, and horrors, we still at some point have to deal with ourselves or outside influences will do it for us. I think twilight is kind of toe tipping into that pool....and I hope she continues.

Thank you Steven.

[Steven]

Thank you Steven.

dang, that was fast. I just finished typing that.

[CandyQuackenbush]

Saying someone is a failure because unhealthy issues have taken over their life seems pretty judgmental. Ever hear of hitting rock bottom but then turning your life around? Even if a person doesn't... did you walk in their shoes? Do you have their genetics? Their weaknesses? Whatever abuse and horrors they may have experienced? Me neither.

So.. twilight, no, you're not a failure. The fact that you're concerned and asking questions means that you're aware that things are not OK and you're taking the first steps to work on them. That's a good place to be.

Marc, you should know me better.

It's not judgemental at all, and I really don't know where you got that. All I was stating was everyone needs alittle "me time", and everyone has that ability.

You seem to think that I make everyones issues are nothing, but they are not. I am stating things I used to do when I was in a WAR to calm down from the duties at hand, and the stuff that I tried to do to no see the things I saw.

I am actually stating things that my P.T.S.D therapist told me to do. So I am trying to help.

[Destroit]

Just know that you're not a failure until you throw in the towel and go home. Even then...sometimes it's worth it and necessary (i.e. choosing your struggles and/or battles).

We only fail when we tell ourselves we can't do better and then don't try to better ourselves. The only person that can stop failure is yourself, even then, sometimes it's still just out of your hands.

Personally to me it sounds like you need some R & R and then time to re-evaluate your entire situation. You need to recoup if you're gonna pull the strength and energy to overcome from anywhere.

If you lose a job, it's also not the end of the world, as bad as it DOES suck.

[Rayne]

Saying someone is a failure because unhealthy issues have taken over their life seems pretty judgmental. Ever hear of hitting rock bottom but then turning your life around? Even if a person doesn't... did you walk in their shoes? Do you have their genetics? Their weaknesses? Whatever abuse and horrors they may have experienced? Me neither.

So.. twilight, no, you're not a failure. The fact that you're concerned and asking questions means that you're aware that things are not OK and you're taking the first steps to work on them. That's a good place to be.

I agree 100% Marc.

As for other people, what they mean and what they say sometimes are two very different things. Some people should really be much more aware of the difference.

[Msterbeau]

shes not (Candy) saying twighlight is a failure Marc, shes saying that failure sets in when we stop directing our own lives and instead are controlled by outside circumstances. I think thats just a wise warning, not a measure of worth.

all of us have seasons of failure. Until we start forcing ourselves to move into another phase - sort of like behaving your way to success.

regardless of our genetics, abuses, environements, and horrors, we still at some point have to deal with ourselves or outside influences will do it for us. I think twilight is kind of toe tipping into that pool....and I hope she continues.

I know she's not calling Twilight a failure. I was addressing the idea in general. It's like the word stupid. Calling people stupid is mean and counterproductive. Saying someone DID something stupid is perfectly reasonable. One defines the whole person... the other their actions. I think the difference is significant. So to call a person's life a failure seems premature. At least until their dead and you can take measure of the whole thing. Failing at something happens and is part of life. Again... there is a difference and those nuances are the dividing line between immature and mean... and reasonable.

That said, George Bush is stupid and a failure. :-P

[Steven]

I know she's not calling Twilight a failure. I was addressing the idea in general. It's like the word stupid. Calling people stupid is mean and counterproductive. Saying someone DID something stupid is perfectly reasonable. One defines the whole person... the other their actions. I think the difference is significant. So to call a person's life a failure seems premature. At least until their dead and you can take measure of the whole thing. Failing at something happens and is part of life. Again... there is a difference and those nuances are the dividing line between immature and mean... and reasonable.

That said, George Bush is stupid and a failure. :-P

she used the word IF.

X=Failure -IF "Y" is taking place. ("Saying someone DID something stupid is perfectly reasonable...")

I dont see the big issue here. its like me saying that somones marriage FAILED, because they just got a divorce. Its just a statement of fact - a descriptive of a current state of being based on the end result.

by the way nobody got called a failure.

[twilight]

EAP?

employee assistance program?

Yup. I think it turns over every year. and you get 5 free sessions again. The counselor I was going to try to see won't see me unless I am on meds. She spent an hour with me (while I was on my period) and immediately said I need meds. Again, I was on my period. You are going to be crying and a mess.

Thanks to everyone who posted. I hope things will get better.

Anyway, I was about to tell Dad that I would like to move to Memphis with him b/c I couldn't stand living in this house or working my job. Dad said we will work something out. Decide if I should go there or if Dad will help m get a place here.

Too make a long story short. I don't live in a good environment and unforunately I don't make enough to move out. And having an anxiety disorder does't help much. Oh, and work life has done downhill. every time I mention to my mom that I want a new job she freaks out and says I will have to live with dad. (Oh and when I am ill too)

[Homicidalheathen]

Wish I could move to but I would probably have the same issues cause I always do no matter where I live.....

Its usually like that.

[twilight]

Wish I could move to but I would probably have the same issues cause I always do no matter where I live.....

Its usually like that.

That is true but not if you are moving away from the people that are causing the problems ... That would be what I am doing in this case. But I suppose I could always move out and whn they start their abuse and rantings about how much I suck then just ignore them or leave

[twilight]

Good news. Dad might help out on getting a place on my own. Like help pay for it since I am broke. Wish I knew what to do about the stress at work though. A new job would be nice but our insurance is amazing. Maybe being on my own I can deal with stress at work better.

[CandyQuackenbush]

Good news. Dad might help out on getting a place on my own. Like help pay for it since I am broke. Wish I knew what to do about the stress at work though. A new job would be nice but our insurance is amazing. Maybe being on my own I can deal with stress at work better.

Good for you! See, something's looking up.

Well, I know some soothing massages, if you ever want one. Like I said in a previous post, that ended up twisted and taken out of contex, there are many things you can do in your "me time" that can help.

There are many different stretches that you can do that make you clear your mind, and make you feel absolutly amazing.

Things are going to get better, just don't put your head down.

[Steven]

just make sure your pants dont get taken out of context, cause then your all kinds of fucked up.

[jadnifer]

I'm glad that things seem to be looking up for you.

You are NOT a failure. I repeat, you are NOT a failure.

Everyone has bumps in the road in life. It's inevitable. If you dont, you are NOT human.

Just don't give up on yourself and you will find that things will get better and better for you.

[twilight]

I'm glad that things seem to be looking up for you.

You are NOT a failure. I repeat, you are NOT a failure.

Everyone has bumps in the road in life. It's inevitable. If you dont, you are NOT human.

Just don't give up on yourself and you will find that things will get better and better for you.

Thanks. Dad thinks my horrid homelife might be making my anxiety worse. He said we are going to figure out a way to get me out of here by years end even if it means help paying for a place for me or moving to Memphis. I prefer the first choice because I would like to be near my sister and the baby.

My obstacle right now is to get over this stomach thing. I keep feeling sick every time I eat. I sometimes go without eating because it is easier. I am sure it started out as the stomach flu but the reason I still have trouble could be anxiety. But we are doing a lot of tests to rule out physical illness first. Personally, I hope they find something because it would be easy to fix. Doctor was worried about appendix or gall bladder. However, if all come back fine I will have to deal with it as anxiety.

[freydis]

Thanks. Dad thinks my horrid homelife might be making my anxiety worse. He said we are going to figure out a way to get me out of here by years end even if it means help paying for a place for me or moving to Memphis. I prefer the first choice because I would like to be near my sister and the baby.

My obstacle right now is to get over this stomach thing. I keep feeling sick every time I eat. I sometimes go without eating because it is easier. I am sure it started out as the stomach flu but the reason I still have trouble could be anxiety. But we are doing a lot of tests to rule out physical illness first. Personally, I hope they find something because it would be easy to fix. Doctor was worried about appendix or gall bladder. However, if all come back fine I will have to deal with it as anxiety.

Hang in there with that..... that sort of thing can really suck. I hope its something simple, too.

Me, they just keep doing tests on.... :/