The Break Up Thread

[DeadBurgerKing (10)]

Ok, Cher gave me the idea with her break up. We should have an official "Break Up" thread available to voice or depression from said break ups. But, I didn't want to thread jack Cher's thread so....

Pookie and I mutually decided it was best to end our 6 month relationship. There are no hard feelings, and we're still good friends.

Reason being, I'm planning on moving to Wayne County, which would make a 30 minute drive a 75 minutes. Plus she's going to go to school and have a job soon. So, we'd rarely see each other.

*sigh*

It saddens me because I REALLY did like her. But, we were slowly drifting apart. I think I mentally prepared myself for this a month ago because I saw it coming, hence why I'm not REALLY upset. I'm just a little upset with it because we spent so much time together...

*shrugs*

Single again!!

[JaneDead]

well, my husband and i "broke up".

but i was not very sad about it. neither was he. we were good friends once upon a time but i don't think we ever "fit" as more than that. i tried, but to no avail. we were pretty miserable together in the end.

he is now happy with someone else, and so i am.

at first i judged his relationship [which he is mistook as jealousy] unfairly. i didn't agree with their age difference but that is not my place or my concern so i stepped back and looked at what really mattered. she made him happy.

so in the end i am sure it is safe to say we are both happy our marriage DIDN'T work because now we get to be with the people we really WANT to be with. people who want the same things as we do, people who help us be who we want to be. instead of trying to make something work out that was never meant to be.

sorry to all that are saddened by break ups past and present.

there is only one break up that was really really hard on me. funny thing is, that is who i am with again now.

our "first time around" we were not right for each other. years and years and years later... we finally got it right. i've never been happier with anyone in my life than i am right now.

sometimes break ups can be good! the start of the life you always wanted.

[DeadBurgerKing (10)]

Exactly! But the break ups that aren't so mutual are so few and far between. But when it is a mutual thing, and you still end up being friends is one of the best feelings in the world. It's like getting the weight of the world off your shoulders. At least it is to me...

[Head Wreck]

well...

THAT BITCH CHEATED ON ME AND STILL I WAS A DOORMAT

still, no hard feelings?

[ManicQueen]

well, my husband and i "broke up".

but i was not very sad about it. neither was he. we were good friends once upon a time but i don't think we ever "fit" as more than that. i tried, but to no avail. we were pretty miserable together in the end.

he is now happy with someone else, and so i am.

at first i judged his relationship [which he is mistook as jealousy] unfairly. i didn't agree with their age difference but that is not my place or my concern so i stepped back and looked at what really mattered. she made him happy.

so in the end i am sure it is safe to say we are both happy our marriage DIDN'T work because now we get to be with the people we really WANT to be with. people who want the same things as we do, people who help us be who we want to be. instead of trying to make something work out that was never meant to be.

sorry to all that are saddened by break ups past and present.

there is only one break up that was really really hard on me. funny thing is, that is who i am with again now.

our "first time around" we were not right for each other. years and years and years later... we finally got it right. i've never been happier with anyone in my life than i am right now.

sometimes break ups can be good! the start of the life you always wanted.

I am so happy for you and very glad that things are working out for you!

[TygerLili]

I appologize in advance for being insensitive and possibly morbid for a moment, but from an observer's standpoint, one of the things about this community that has fascinated me for the last 3 years is watching the evolution of hook-ups and break-ups between members over time. As one who is very interested in psychology and sociology, it reads like a drawn-out case study at times.

That said, I'm often saddened to read about others break-ups, and I wish those of you newly single or united nothing but the best.

I've been dealing with the aftermath of my own break-up recently, and for the most part I'm fine with it. I really don't think it will be permanent, but for now circustances necessitate it.

[Head Wreck]

sorry to hear it tigerlili.

Janedead: its allways good to hear things work out positive when it comes to this. :D

as for myself. i enjoy single life, and dont like what i become when i'm lovesick i suppose theres someone out there who'll have a possitive effect on me, untill then, i have an empty whisky glass, a wandering eye, and a big grin

[DeadBurgerKing (10)]

sorry to hear it tigerlili.

i have an empty whisky glass, a wandering eye, and a big grin

I think that's a GREAT metaphor FOR relationships

[Head Wreck]

really. i thought that was just me at CC pissed of my face

[Homicidalheathen]

Aw, hugs!

Ok, Cher gave me the idea with her break up. We should have an official "Break Up" thread available to voice or depression from said break ups. But, I didn't want to thread jack Cher's thread so....

Pookie and I mutually decided it was best to end our 6 month relationship. There are no hard feelings, and we're still good friends.

Reason being, I'm planning on moving to Wayne County, which would make a 30 minute drive a 75 minutes. Plus she's going to go to school and have a job soon. So, we'd rarely see each other.

*sigh*

It saddens me because I REALLY did like her. But, we were slowly drifting apart. I think I mentally prepared myself for this a month ago because I saw it coming, hence why I'm not REALLY upset. I'm just a little upset with it because we spent so much time together...

*shrugs*

Single again!!

[Destroit]

Awww you guys are all so strong to have mutual break-ups like that. DBK, you should be happy that you're moving and that she understands ('cause now I can come loiter in your livingroom all the time and play your Guitar Hero and pwn you in front of your roommate). But for all seriousness, that happens in relationships alot. It's good that you guys mutally fizzled instead of waiting for a long time to do so, which would have made it worse.

As for Janedead, as sad as it is to see anyone separate at least both of you realized that you weren't meant for each other. That's a huge mistake in many relationships, people are just like jigsaw puzzles and sometimes even if you think the pieces look right and should fit...no matter how much you try to jam them together they just aren't going to. It takes two really big people to realize that, I hope you're happy in your new relationship.

Tygerlili, hang in there girl. I'm glad that you think that it may not be permanent and that you're fine with the circumstances at the moment. Sometimes in relationships timing is obviously crucial, I hope everything works out for you guys. (And no...you're not morbid for your hook-up fascination. I mean, look at stuff like soap operas and daytime TV talk shows, there's a reason people watch that kind of stuff.)

I don't think I've EVER had one that was "mutual", but all of them I did become friends with again.

Trust me...when Raven and I had our little bout it was FAR from mutual. I won't go into bloody detail, for the record I broke up with him at the time, we were having trouble communicating. I have trouble speaking my mind and saying what I really feel and he has a hard time understanding where I'm coming from. He was raised by a LOT of women, the only real male in his family is his grandpa who taught him how to be tough, but in lieu of being raised by girls he's really into the whole communication thing and talking about feelings.

I was like..."wtf are feelings and why would I want to talk about them? That's totally weak." So I'm sure you can see where this is getting at. There were a slew of behaviors on his part that were erking me to the point of separation (and vise versa)...and then one Sunday morning I finally said "enough, we're breaking up". He said he'd have his shit and be out by the time I got home from work.

Really traumatic day obviously, I was wrecked all day and exhausted. I came home...to find him still there with George (Constantin on the board...doesn't post a lot due to lack of internets). Apparantly he couldn't find his keys. I was pissed and like "Whatever" and helped him look, so did Boshy. We finally found them packed into a pair of his pants in a bag, which is rare for him because unlike me, he never loses his keys.

I didn't want to hang around, they were still packing stuff in the car, so I went to a friend's house (they're friends of both of ours). While there I calmed down a little, got my buzz on, and after about an hour Tim's phone rings. It's Raven, the convo being something like this:

"Uhmm...I have a really odd situation"

"Yeah what is it?"

"...my car WON'T start"

"Oh...?"

"So...uhmm this is very awkward, but I need to stay the night"

"Kay, I'll sleep upstairs, you can sleep on the futon"

"Okay...I'll just hang out downstairs with George so we don't cause drama or anything"

I get home, I'm upstairs in my room for a minute, and I hear him coming up the stairs. Obviously I was agitated, didn't want to talk to him, but he insisted. He basically spilled his heart out and said it was unfair because he never knew anything was wrong or that I was unhappy and wanted to do anything he could to keep me even if it meant me treating him like ass (which I'm not trying to do obviously) because I was the best thing that ever happened to him and all that good stuff.

I didn't take him back on the spot, I slept on it. He came up in the morning to talk some more and I looked at him and uhmm...well...here comes the mushy cheesy feelings part: I realized I still loved him and that anything could be worked out so long as I was willing to talk, he was willing to listen and both of us were willing to cooperate.

So the reason I posted this long ass lengthy post is for the sheer reason that I never really explained to anyone on DGN what really happened that day. I don't mind sharing personal business, actually I like to because I'm close with most of you and hey, what are friends for, right?

I just told people that it was a "freak incident" and that we really shouldn't be together right now because had his car been able to start and he would have left, well our relationship would have been no more.

There's a happy story for the new founded break-up thread, full of hope, well, hopefully I put some hope into people. I'm not too good at these things .

[DeadBurgerKing (10)]

He was raised by a LOT of women, the only real male in his family is his grandpa who taught him how to be tough, but in lieu of being raised by girls he's really into the whole communication thing and talking about feelings.

Ok that's REALLY creepy, because you TOTALLY described how I was raised (my grandma,sister and mother. The only male was my grandpa who was an irish redneck and taught me my stubbornness and iron will). And I am very vocal about my feelings. :|

[Nienna]

I appologize in advance for being insensitive and possibly morbid for a moment, but from an observer's standpoint, one of the things about this community that has fascinated me for the last 3 years is watching the evolution of hook-ups and break-ups between members over time. As one who is very interested in psychology and sociology, it reads like a drawn-out case study at times.

LOL Yeah. It's odd if I think about it, but all but one of the relationships I've had in the last 5 years came from DGN! LOL

[xbittergracex]

('cause now I can come loiter in your livingroom all the time and play your Guitar Hero and pwn you in front of your roommate)

See ya there Cher!!!!!

DBK...thats actually kind of awesome that you're moving closer to here....although it sucks about your break up. I'm glad it went well though.

SEE YOU SOON!!!!!

[JaneDead]

As for Janedead .... I hope you're happy in your new relationship.

very very much so!!

[Msterbeau]

I don't want to talk about it.

[the eternal]

If it wasn't for the support of my Bean Water, I don't know what I'd do.

My ex is nuts and she uses the one thing that means so much to me, time and time again.

When I tell her we're engaged, it's all going to blowup and innocent people may get hurt.

I wish the best for anyone in a breakup. It's not easy.

And to any of you with dependents, it's not easy X 1000.

Because then you're forced to deal with your ex for years and years to come.

Good luck to Tigerlili and Morbid Suicide. I hope things work out for them. I'm cheering for you guys.

[Brenda Starrr]

Jeff and I will NEVER break up. Never ever ever everever.

But, I've had more than my share. And it doesn't matter who does the breaking up, it still hurts.

[phee]

Jeff and I will NEVER break up. Never ever ever everever.

But, I've had more than my share. And it doesn't matter who does the breaking up, it still hurts.

this question is probably rhetorical...

And I know that this happens...

But who would get together with someone knowing that it would end badly?

I know sometimes deep down we do know (from past experience)

[bean]

Break ups suck, but I think it's much more difficult when you realize that the relationship is over.

New Year's Eve of 2006 was when I realized that my marriage was over. Everyone was saying "Happy New Year" when I looked at my then husband and burst into tears because I realized I didn't want to spend another day with him.

But, I'm glad that I have the eternal in my life, and we've held on through some tough things. I know we will make it.

[DeadBurgerKing (10)]

And to any of you with dependents, it's not easy X 1000.

Because then you're forced to deal with your ex for years and years to come.

Right, THAT is hard. But, for Rhiannon's sake, I bit my tounge and swallowed my pride. And because of that, we all get along.

[Brenda Starrr]

this question is probably rhetorical...

And I know that this happens...

But who would get together with someone knowing that it would end badly?

I know sometimes deep down we do know (from past experience)

See, when I married my exes, I had a gut feeling that it was wrong. But, I swore that I would make it work, because I used to think that I could help others with their problems. Surely, I could help them....

But I lost me in the process. I no longer had my own identity. I didn't even know who I was.

Looking back now, I don't know why I did that to myself. I'm a great person. I'm kind, compassionate, and caring. But I'm also stubborn, difficult to read, and rather wordy. Jeff gets all of that. He does so because he is me with a penis. I can hold educated conversations with him. I can laugh my ass off with him. We literally finish each other's sentences. He doesn't judge me, nor do I do it to him.

I guess what I'm getting at is that I knew it would end badly, but was stubborn/dumb/crazy enough to do it anyway.

But, all that has changed. And, I'm very thankful for it.

[Steven]

I knew.

it did.

we fixed it.

[DeadBurgerKing (10)]

See, when I married my exes, I had a gut feeling that it was wrong. But, I swore that I would make it work, because I used to think that I could help others with their problems. Surely, I could help them....

Being an optimist has it's downfalls. you feel that it CAN work and you WANT to work it out, only to be devastated in the end. I know how that goes.

[Brenda Starrr]

I'm more of an optimist now than I ever was. I was cautiously optimistic. Now, the glass really IS half-full.

Go ahead. Take away my goth card. I don't care. I mean, come on. If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.