The Break Up Thread

[Daevion]

I appologize in advance for being insensitive and possibly morbid for a moment, but from an observer's standpoint, one of the things about this community that has fascinated me for the last 3 years is watching the evolution of hook-ups and break-ups between members over time. As one who is very interested in psychology and sociology, it reads like a drawn-out case study at times.

That said, I'm often saddened to read about others break-ups, and I wish those of you newly single or united nothing but the best.

I've been dealing with the aftermath of my own break-up recently, and for the most part I'm fine with it. I really don't think it will be permanent, but for now circustances necessitate it.

There's enough material on dgn for 10 psych papers...possibly more!

[bean]

There's enough material on dgn for 10 psych papers...possibly more!

for serious! You can all come to me for free therapy when I have to do my practicums for school!

[TomCat]

I'm more of an optimist now than I ever was. I was cautiously optimistic. Now, the glass really IS half-full.

Go ahead. Take away my goth card. I don't care. I mean, come on. If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.

Good, consider it taken away...bwahahahahahahahaha...I never date DGN chicks anyway...I'm just gonna marry one, and call it done.

[GothicRavenGoddess (3)]

To try and lighten the subject a little... this was e-mailed to me, today from a yahoo group that I am part of....

Divorce Jokes:

I once heard of a guy who had his 2nd wife's photo printed in the corner of the cheques he used to pay alimony to the first one.

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Another was known among his friends for the punctuality with which he sent his wife her alimony payment each month. When he was asked the reason for his haste, he shivered and replied, "I'm afraid that if I should ever fall behind in the payments to that witch, she might well try to repossess me."

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ALIMONY is ...

~A contraction of the phrase "all his money."

~A form of maintenance by which, if you don't pay in due time, you'll do time.

~A husband's cash-surrender value.

~A man's transition from a co-starring spot to a supporting role.

~A matter of wife and debt.

~A pay-as-you-go plan.

~A pension that helps take the drudgery out of household duties.

~A system like having the TV set on after one has fallen asleep.

~A time balm.

~A war debt.

~A wife's guaranteed annual wage.

~A word often spelled "ali-moan-y" by divorced husbands.

~An allowance which enables a woman who was unhappily married to be happily unmarried.

~An award in court, where a woman says to her divorced husband, "Buy now-pay later."

~Bounty from the mutiny.

~Giving comfort to the enemy.

~Heart-earned money.

~Like buying oats for a dead horse.

~Matrimony's price of peace.

~Paying instalments on a car after the wreck.

~Taxation without representation.

~The billing without the cooing.

~The fee a woman charges for name-dropping.

~The high cost of leaving; the high cost of loving.

~The marital version of "Fly now, pay later."

~The matrimonial institution' s severance pay.

~The payment by one for the mistakes of two.

~The take from a mistake.

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What do you call an independently wealthy woman in Texas?

A divorcee.

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A man in Tarritville, Connecticut, filed for divorce because his wife left him a note on the refrigerator which read: "I have gone to the bridge club. There'll be a recipe for your dinner at 7 o'clock on Channel 2

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A man in Hazard, Kentucky, divorced his wife because she "beat him whenever he removed onions from his hamburger without asking for permission."

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A deaf man in Bennettsville, South Carolina, filed for divorce because his wife "was always nagging him in sign language."

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A woman in Canon City, Colorado, divorced her husband because he forced her to "duck under the dashboard whenever they drove past his girlfriend's house."

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A woman in Hardwick, Georgia, divorced her husband on the grounds that he "stayed home too much and was much too affectionate. "

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"Your Honor, my wife is just being ridiculous. Most women would love to have a husband who still believes in chivalry and I was only opening the door for her out of chivalry." "Mr. Smith," replied the judge, "I am granting the divorce. I cannot believe chivalry was your motivation while driving 65 mph."

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"Well, Mrs. O'Connor, so you want a divorce?" the solicitor questioned his client. "Tell me about it. Do you have a grudge?"

"Oh, no," replied Mrs. O'Connor. "Shure now, we have a carport."

The solicitor tried again. "Well, does the man beat you up?"

"No, no," said Mrs. O'Connor, looking puzzled.

"Oi'm always first out of bed." Still hopeful, the solicitor tried once again.

"Well, does he go in for unnatural connubial practices?"

"Shure now, he plays the flute, but I don't think he knows anything about the connubial."

Now desperate, the solicitor pushed on. "What I'm trying to find out are what grounds you have."

'Bless ye, sor. We live in a flat -- not even a window box, let alone grounds.'

"Mrs. O'Connor," the solicitor said in considerable exasperation, "you need a reason that the court can consider. What is the reason for you seeking this divorce?"

"Ah, well now," said the lady, "Shure it's because the man can't hold an intelligent conversation. "

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What Is The Difference Between A Vulture And An Ex-Wife?

A Vulture Circles Three Times Before Chewing On Your Ass.

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A certain Senator was sitting in his attorney's office. His lawyer said, "Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?"

"Give me the bad news first," said the Senator.

"Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars."

"That's the bad news?" asked the Senator incredulously. "I can't wait to hear the terrible news."

"The terrible news is that it's of you and your secretary."

-----

The other day at work I ran into Bob. We chatted over lunch and he dropped a bombshell on me. "Rodney" he said, "Becky and I are going to get a divorce". I was stunned.

"Why? What happened, you two seem so happy together"

"Well" he said, "ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking, running around at all hours of the night and more. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music and how to invest in the stock market."

"Are you a little bitter because she spent so much time trying to change you?" I probed.

"Nah, I'm not bitter. Now that I'm so improved, she just isn't good enough for me."

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A dad walks into a market followed by his ten-year-old son. The kid is spinning a quarter in the air and catching it between his teeth. As they walk through the market someone bumps into the boy at just the wrong moment and the coin goes straight into his mouth and lodges in his throat. He immediately starts choking, going blue in the face, and Dad starts panicking, shouting for help.

A well dressed middle-aged, moderately attractive but serious woman in a Blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar in the market reading her Newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down on the saucer, neatly folds her newspaper and places it on the counter. Then she gets up from her seat and makes her unhurried way across the market.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully takes hold of the boy's testicles and squeezes gently at first and then ever more firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the quarter, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand. Releasing the boy, the woman hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no lasting ill-effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts effusively thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before-it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?"

"Good heavens, no," the woman replies. "I'm a Divorce Attorney."

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"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."

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"Ah, yes, divorce..., from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet,"

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1st anniversary card from husband to wife: "My sweet loving wife....I hope this first year is a reflection of the next 60 years, you are my heart and soul, I am forever yours."

5th anniversary card: "I love you so much honey...words cannot describe."

10th anniversary card: "Hey, how's it hangin'? Love Ya'!!"

15th anniversary card: "Ummmmmmmmm. .....'sup? "

16th anniversary card from wife to husband: "You are hereby summoned to divorce proceedings. .."

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POEM FOR EX-WIVES

My Ex-husband and I fought constantly,

Why I married him I'll never know.

For all those miserable years I said,

This husband has got to go!

Tried poisoning cakes, stripping his brakes,

Salting his pork chops with lime.

Wiring his chair, igniting his hair,

Even though playing with fire's a crime.

But I failed at each plot 'til I suddenly thought,

Of a way that would set me free!

I got rid of him for good and ya know what?

They couldn't do a thing to me!

I TOOK HIM BACK TO WAL-MART !

They'll take anything back you know!

They said they couldn't remember selling him,

But they must have if I told them so.

They just credited him to my Visa and said,

"Y'all come back, ya hear?"

They were all so nice, polite and insistent,

I took his mother back the next year!

They'll take anything back at Wal-Mart,

Though it's broken, rotten, or sweet.

And know what else? This time of year,

You don't even need a receipt!

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What should you do if you see your "ex" rolling around, in pain, on the ground?

Shoot him again.

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"Our parents got divorced when we were kids and it was kind of cool. We got to go to divorce court with them. It was like a game show. My mom won the house and car.We're all excited. My dad got some luggage."

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The scene was a tiny mountain village in a remote section of West Virginia. An old mountaineer and his young wife were getting a divorce in the local court. But custody of the children was a problem. The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them. The old mountaineer also wanted custody of the children.

The judge asked for his side of the story and, after a long moment of silence, the mountaineer slowly rose from his chair and said, "Judge, when I put a quarter in a candy machine and a candy bar comes out, does it belong to me or the machine?"

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A husband desperate to end an argument offers to buy is wife a new car.

She curtly declines his offer: "That's not quite what I had in mind."

Frantically he offers her a new house.

Again she rejects his offer, "That's not quite what I had in mind."

Curious, he asks: "What did you have in mind?"

She retorts, "I'd like a divorce."

He answers, "I hadn't planned on spending quite that much."

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20 Points of Divorce

Getting a divorce is a mixed bag, some good things and some bad things. Here are two lists to help you see both the bright and the dark side of the institution of divorce.

10 Bad Things

1. Spouse gets half of everything but the bills

2. Without keeping your home just slightly warmer than Satan's dominion, electric company no longer awards you "Top Gigawatt User" status

3. No more weekly episodes of "Watch Spouses Butt Expand"

5. Senseless accidental death of spouse would have been a more romantic and fulfilling way to lose them

6. Belief in your ability to pick a "soul-mate" is shot to hell

7. Vacations can no longer be spent going to exotic and exciting spots like their parent's home in Idaho

8. Now a woman crying can be caused by any number of confusing reasons rather than the straightforward "it's your fault" cause

9. Giddiness and joy of annual Dual-Income- No-Kids tax rape merely a distant memory

10. Screwing your 18 year old step-daughter wasn't the cause of your marital difficulties

10 Good Things

1. Your divorce lawyer can afford a new car

2. "Friends" are now something you can have instead of a TV-show you're forced to watch

3. No more nightly shrieking makes it easier to hear a movie without turning up the volume

4. "My wife just left me" great for sympathy among other women-folk

5. Having a beer is no longer a high crime

6. Regain possibility of having sex

7. "Helpful" marriage counselor now free to actively destroy someone else's relationship

8. Comforting may be done in person rather than through a bathroom door

9. Quietly sitting through tired, cliched 'chick-flick' movies may now be rewarded with sex

10. Luckily you never spawned freakish mutant children that the bitch would have surely produced

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A recently divorced woman is walking along the beach contemplating how badly treated she got over the divorce settlement, when she spies a magic lamp washing up onshore. She rubs the lamp, and out pops a magical genie!! The genie notices her anger and lets her vent her troubles to him. As a consolation, the genie informs her that he will give her three wishes. But, he cautions her that because he does not believe in divorce, he will give her ex-husband ten times the amount of whatever she wishes. The woman is steaming mad, thinking that this is hardly fair, but she makes her first wish. The first wish was for a billion dollars. The genie grants her wish and she finds herself sitting in pile of one billion one-dollar bills. The genie then reminds her that her husband is now the recipient of 10 billion dollars. The woman can barely contain her anger when she makes her second wish. The second wish was for a beautiful mansion on the shore of her own private beach. In an instant it was granted, but the genie then reminds again that her ex-husband now owns ten of what she wished for, and points out at the beach to a small development of ten such mansions. Upon hearing this, the woman takes her time to contemplate her last wish. Just as the genie was about to give up on her, the woman informs the genie that she wants to make the last wish. But, before she can do this, the genie again warns her that her ex-husband will get ten times what she wishes for."No problem," said the woman as she grinned in ecstasy. "For my last wish...I'd like to give birth to twins."

[JaneDead]

Go ahead. Take away my goth card. I don't care. I mean, come on. If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.

[Scales]

She was like a flamboyant Danny Trejo..

The big knives hurt the worst.

[jadnifer]

Yes, breakups suck. However, if I was still in a relationship with one of the jerks that I used to be with, then I wouldn't have the wonderful man that I have now.

[Head Wreck]

yep. i kept dating psychotic women with severe aversion to monogomy.

now i just play each day as is

[jadnifer]

yep. i kept dating psychotic women with severe aversion to monogomy.

now i just play each day as is

There is really no point to being in a relationship with somebody if they cannot be faithful to you.

[Reaper]

I think you all need e-help.

[CountdownToBreakdown]

Breakups. They can be bittersweet.

I went through 2 really horrible guys to get where I am.

The first guy I met through his brother whom is one of my best friends.

He was pretty sweet and nice and cute and all that jazz.

We started talking over MySpace and then Yahoo Messenger.

Then he asked to meet up at a show that weekend. So we did.

It was one of the best times of my life Until I found out he had a girlfriend.

But nonetheless we talked.

After they had broken up (they had problems) i started seeing him.

Everything was pretty much perfect. Until I found out....

he was LEADING ME ON.

He only kept me around because he was "lonely". It ripped me to shreds.

A few months after all of that I went to stay at Shane's house for a weekend. (The guy's brother).

Then he showed up to stay over night as well. I ended up crying on Shane. But he made me feel better.

Me and the guy talk occasionally but I still get torn up over what he did to me. Especially considering some really horrible things he said to me.

The second guy I met at a college during the summer.

He had dated my friend but she ended up hating him after she cheated on him. Me and him were good friends.

Then he had to move about 2 hours from here.

But he contacted me over MySpace and we started talking over the phone.

I pretty much fell hard for him.

I helped him move here and such and got him a pretty well new life.

Then he left me for no reason and had sex with my "friend" at a ball game.

I cried.

Me and him are now friends.

The guy I have now is named Brandon but everyone calls him Bebo.

It's just what he goes by.

It is by far the best and most serious relationship I have had.

Me and him talk a lot and spend so much time with each other.

We have been through holidays that couples live for and everything.

I don't know how to describe it.

But I met him in my Army JROTC class. I'm a staff sergeant and he had been on the staff above me. He heard about my other break up (the 2nd guy) and wanted to make sure I was ok. We were just friends for the longest time.

I mean we are usually what people see as exact opposites. He's more of a "jock" and I'm more of an "emo kid". But it all fell into place and we're really close.

I hope it works out!

[CountdownToBreakdown]

A man in Hazard, Kentucky, divorced his wife because she "beat him whenever he removed onions from his hamburger without asking for permission."

Hazard, Kentucky?

That's where I was born!!!! Lmao.

It's probably true though, trust me, Hazard is a CRAZY town.

The people there are so eccentric, and wild. It's always that way.

I spend a lot of time there when I can.

But yeah, it's full of craziness.

I wonder where they got that from????

[know_buddy_kares]

Being an optimist has it's downfalls. you feel that it CAN work and you WANT to work it out, only to be devastated in the end. I know how that goes.

feeling ya there. I've gave this girl her last chance. We actually hooked back up with me practically yelling at her telling her this is her last chance. Well, she's dissapeared since valantines day and I aint even botherin telling her. Let her figure it out. And only after do I make this decision and explain it over with her sister, does she tell me later that she's got a boyfriend back home. So... whatever...

I think all women are pure evil, and I would honestly hate every last one of them but since they have tits, I still love em.

[Hellion]

I give it a month,if I suspect any form of dishonesty,its done and over with,that shit gets really old.and I am good at vanishing from them for life.

[CountdownToBreakdown]

I give it a month,if I suspect any form of dishonesty,its done and over with,that shit gets really old.and I am good at vanishing from them for life.

I know what you mean.

Most guys around here aren't trust worthy at all either.

Sad part is, the second guy I talked about at the college, actually apologized.

Talk about a surprise.

So I have no idea now what's going on.

Fuuuuuck.

[know_buddy_kares]

I know what you mean.

Most guys around here aren't trust worthy at all either.

Sad part is, the second guy I talked about at the college, actually apologized.

Talk about a surprise.

So I have no idea now what's going on.

Fuuuuuck.

a bit of advice... don't let that appology give any sway in your decision to go back out with him. I did that mistake, and sure enough, the girl went back with pulled the same damn bullshit she pulled the last time.

I just wonder why so many people are so screwed up... it seems no one is worth while anymore.

[GothicRavenGoddess (3)]

*le sigh*

It is with a heavey heart that I post here, and it not be because I am supporting someone who is in pain. :(

My boyfriend broke up with me, via MySpace... So the other drama that is surrounding my life seems so insignifican't at the moment.... :(

This is what he said....

hey andrea. i know this may come as a surprise but i dont think this is working out. im sorry but i cant take the distance any more. when you get back to the sc i may be willing to try this again. im sorry if this hurts you but i cant take it anymore. we r not the same people we once knew. i hope that you can understand all this.

I AM SORRY

This is what I said, that I know he read, but didn't respond to...

You couldn't wait 4 more months? Its okay, I understand. Go get yourself laid. I hope that we can resume this, when I get back to SC, in August. After all, the reason why I was coming back was to be with you...

You are right, we aren't the same people that we once knew, but we aren't that different either. I am hurt, but this comes as no surprise. I love you DJ, I hope that one day you will grow to understand and accept this, even if you never say those words to me. We can still talk to each other, right? I mean, lack of complete communication doesn't make any sense. After all, we have known each other for a really long time.

Like I said, I understand where you are coming from. I kinda saw it coming... I hope that you keep in touch until I get back to SC. Even though you have broken up with me, I am still going back to SC. That's how much I care about you.

I was talking to his cousin, and she said that she thinks its so that he doesn't turn into a cheater. I mean, he's in SC, I'm in MI, and we both have needs. I get that.. But it still hurts.

Least he's the only guy that I ever dated, that hasn't cheated on my. Aside from just breaking up with me, he's never done anything to hurt me..

I miss him... :(

[punk_princess]

*le sigh*

It is with a heavey heart that I post here, and it not be because I am supporting someone who is in pain. :(

My boyfriend broke up with me, via MySpace... So the other drama that is surrounding my life seems so insignifican't at the moment.... :(

This is what he said....

This is what I said, that I know he read, but didn't respond to...

I was talking to his cousin, and she said that she thinks its so that he doesn't turn into a cheater. I mean, he's in SC, I'm in MI, and we both have needs. I get that.. But it still hurts.

Least he's the only guy that I ever dated, that hasn't cheated on my. Aside from just breaking up with me, he's never done anything to hurt me..

I miss him... :(

Did he send you a message or do it in a blog? Either way thats pretty low.

[GothicRavenGoddess (3)]

via myspace message, versus just IMing me..

[Rev.Reverence]

via myspace message, versus just IMing me..

AWW... ((HUGTHATTAKESYOUOFFTHEFLOOR))

Lou Reed once told me in a time like this..."Every thin' gonna' be ALL-RighT!!"

[GothicRavenGoddess (3)]

thanks hun.. means a lot to me.

[SuZQZ]

I'm sorry for your pain, GRG. Whether via IM or MySpace message that was a crappy way to tell you. I know you are going to SC in August. I hope you are going for yourself and because it's what's right for you and not because of him. You look out for yourself.

{{{{{{HUGZ}}}}}}

[GothicRavenGoddess (3)]

Well, I already told everyone that I was going back. Its too late to turn back now. I do love him... almost 6 years, and I have always loved him... But if it doesn't work out, between us, when i get back, i got the pet shop to work at, so that will keep my busy. so yeah...

[hunhee]

This thread reminds me of this song..

Written by N. Sedaka and H. Greenfield

Recorded by Neil Sedaka

Also recorded by The Carpenters, The Partridge Family, and Lenny Welch

Don't take your love away from me

Don't you leave my heart in misery

If you go then I'll be blue

'Cause breaking up his hard to do

Remember when you held me tight

And you kissed me all through the night

Think of all that we've been through

Breaking up is hard to do

They say that breaking up is hard to do

Now I know, I know that it's true

Don't say that this is the end

Instead of breaking up I wish that we were making up again

I beg of you, don't say goodbye

Can't we give our love another try

Come on baby, let's start anew

'Cause breaking up is hard to do

[Pandora]

Like the last verse, always up for second chances. People screw up, it happens.