If You Are Sad, How Do You Become Not So?

[Shade Everdark]

exactly what i do - i always know that it's happening, and i always know that it's only temporary, but when i get this way, i allow myself to acknowledge it, and wallow a bit. usually, i'll go out drinking by myself, sit in a corner ignoring people (except for the occasional glance around the room) and just let my mind go where it will. typically, by the next morning, i'm ok. ocassionally, it'll last 2-3 days, but ever since i overcame my clinical depression several years ago, it's never been more than a few days at a time.

now that i think about it, one of the realizations i had was related to the "why are we here? what's the f**kin point? why bother?" questions... it finally dawned on me (as other people have mentioned) that we're here to have fun, and enjoy ourselves. think about animals, or little kids - think about the silly things they do; dogs will chase their tails, cats will tear through the house chasing nothing (or each other), little kids will spin themselves around & around & around until they're so dizzy they fall down laughing, then get back up & do it again!

in fact, that's exactly what i did - when i realized that, i went in my front yard & spun around until i fell over... it was surprisingly fun, once i got over the idea of it looking silly for a grown man to be doing it! anyway, just be goofy/silly for no reason - everyone takes life too seriously & never takes time to do the stupid, funny stuff.

I'm glad you managed to come to that realization, that it worked for you. I'm also very relieved that your...'episodes' only last for a couple of days at a time. Mine are usually multiple-month affairs. I've mostly learned to accept that part of myself, but I still worry about sounding like I'm whining or *gasp* 'emo' (kidding!) when I bring it up to others.

[Kit Kat P]

I vent a lot. I work out and start arguments. I hide and drive for hours. I go see a good movie or (when I was single) take some random boy home and screw him 'till I was exhausted enough to sleep. Not the healthiest but sometimes it's just needed. And I try to be around kids, happy kids make me happy.

[Nienna]

I spend alot of time being sad / angry / hopeless lately. I go see movies, go dancing, try to be social. All one can do.

[torn asunder]

I'm glad you managed to come to that realization, that it worked for you. I'm also very relieved that your...'episodes' only last for a couple of days at a time. Mine are usually multiple-month affairs. I've mostly learned to accept that part of myself, but I still worry about sounding like I'm whining or *gasp* 'emo' (kidding!) when I bring it up to others.

well, back before i figured things out, it was just one long 3yr bummer...

btw, when's the last time, when you were down, you went outside & spun around your yard until you fell oveer, multiple times!?! hmm!?!?

[Shade Everdark]

well, back before i figured things out, it was just one long 3yr bummer...

btw, when's the last time, when you were down, you went outside & spun around your yard until you fell oveer, multiple times!?! hmm!?!?

I haven't. I have, however, gone out in the middle of the night (more due to work scheduling than to embarrassment) and played on the swings or the monkey bars at a playground. I like merry-go-rounds, too.

[torn asunder]

I haven't. I have, however, gone out in the middle of the night (more due to work scheduling than to embarrassment) and played on the swings or the monkey bars at a playground. I like merry-go-rounds, too.

(try the spinning thing, tho!!)

[jadnifer]

We should get a bunch of us together and go for a picnic at the park and play on the playground stuff and spin in circles til we fall over. It would be SO much fun to act like little kids with a bunch of your friends. I don't know about you guys, but that would make me VERY happy!

[Nienna]

We should get a bunch of us together and go for a picnic at the park and play on the playground stuff and spin in circles til we fall over. It would be SO much fun to act like little kids with a bunch of your friends. I don't know about you guys, but that would make me VERY happy!

I agree!

[Morbid Side]

Truth is, I need peace and quiet. I don't like it when people center themselves around me. I stay inside my shell and let loose all of my feelings. I can be a bit melodramatic when it comes to dealing with problems, but when I'm sad, I like to put my thoughts down on paper or read a book.

[Destroit]

If I want to spark up a J...I do it....if I want to go for a walk, or surf DGN....WHATEVER the fuck I want to do at any time....I do it.

Wow...we have the SAME three things that makes us happy.

Sorry about the rest of your post though, everyone's gone though hard times but yours seem to have been pretty rough. Just try to keep yer chin up .

[Destroit]

We should get a bunch of us together and go for a picnic at the park and play on the playground stuff and spin in circles til we fall over. It would be SO much fun to act like little kids with a bunch of your friends. I don't know about you guys, but that would make me VERY happy!

Dude...you did read my post in the "drunk posting" thread from like a month ago, right? Way ahead of ya on that.

[jadnifer]

Dude...you did read my post in the "drunk posting" thread from like a month ago, right? Way ahead of ya on that.

Yes, I did. I was bummed that I wasn't there to join in the fun. The townhouses would be a perfect place to get a bunch of us together and go play on the playground in the middle of the night, especially when we have all had some drinks. Do they still have that big twirly slide there?

[bean]

I just wait for my mood to kick in the other direction

[Scales]

I've been through years of depression and anxiety, neither of which is going away but I'm on medication now which is helping. There was a time when I was doing sterilized cutting, I have over two hundred scars from that time even though it's not a huge deal to me. I don't like people calling me silly things like "emo" since I don't see a lot of people as able to survive what I've been through, it's not as much an ego thing as I honestly have no idea how I've made it through some very negative, prolonged emotions. I have gone through a lot of the traits of a clinical "major depressive episode" on and off for years and was too afraid to get help so I've developed a lot of good and bad coping resources.

Really when your in a dark mindset your whole being is a punching bag for your mind so it's all about how much you can take. Developing stronger sadistic feelings towards yourself is a natural process necessary for living in strong negative states; not that I'm suggesting self-injury, I'm saying it's important to form an ability to accept pain in order to be a strong person.

Doing things you enjoy can help somewhat, or doing them long enough can temporarily get you out of a depression mindset, even though it can be draining. For me dark music and literature helps a lot, whether I'm making it or on the consuming end. Talking with people and helping out other people. Gaming, watching good movies, and reading if I can motivate myself to do it. I have to agree that finding ways to get involved and be a part of community is very important, people who get into prolonged states of social isolation raise their chances of becoming suicidal considerably.

[hunhee]

Scales, I'm glad that you're getting help coping with your depression.

I have had HUGE depression most of my life. I've always felt that there was something missing in my life. I still feel that from time to time now. I know when it's coming on, I get this vacuous feeling .. empty.. lost.. consuming.. unrelenting.. it seizes me up and doesn't let up.

I avoid doing things because of this. When I was married, I stayed at home, and I didn't do anything but watch TV, I let a lot of things slide that I wouldn't have ordinarily let slide. I did as little as possible because I just wallowed in self pity, self disdain, self loathing. I hated myself for so long, I have always been under the impression that I'm ugly, fat, un-deserving of anything good that happened in my life.

What I did to get me out of this stage? I gave it some time, I let if fester, I let it consume me for a long time. I was ashamed of it. In fact, FAKING happiness was what I've done most of my life. Everyone would see me and think, WOW what a happy, smilie, easy-going, nice person she is. I felt exactly the opposite. I am a pushover, I did everything for everyone else in my life. I forewent any happiness for the happiness of those around me for a long time. The reason? I was un-deserving. I wasn't allowed to be happy.

I am now starting to do things for me.

I am beautiful.

I am Intelligent.

I am funny.

I truly bring joy to people around me because I am joy.

I am deserving.

I can want things.

It's OK to ask for help, and not always give.

It's OK to be a little selfish.

These are some of the things I say to myself.

I have taken steps to lose weight, I've been struggling with my self-esteem my entire life.

I have more of a positive mental image of myself, and yes, I'm beginning to learn to love myself (other than the umm..well hehe nm).

These are all HUGE steps for me. I never had this much self-empowerment.

It's no longer a "I want to be happy, or a I will be happy" because those statements lead me to believe that there's want there, or a possibly that some dark will enter in.

I AM HAPPY

I used to always say happiness is a fickle friend, in the fact that it was fleeting. I was making an excuse for happiness. Giving happiness a window of opportunity to be my fair weather friend. Not anymore.

Now I am grabbing happiness by the balls and telling it that I WILL NOT let go, and that it is here to stay!!!!! I am NOT backing down!!!

You just have to make your own happiness, and everything else will fall in line.

[Scales]

Thanks hunhee. It's good to see you've worked through your negativity and gained so much self-esteem.

[littlepinkkitty]

When i am sad i like to go shopping for bras. I buy myself a really sexy one that gives me great cleavage and come home and try it on in front of the mirror. I also will watch one of my favorite movies and have a slurpee. That cheers me up too. Oh and eating a good salad.

[Msterbeau]

When i am sad i like to go shopping for bras. I buy myself a really sexy one that gives me great cleavage and come home and try it on in front of the mirror. I also will watch one of my favorite movies and have a slurpee. That cheers me up too. Oh and eating a good salad.

Could we do that when *I'm* sad? I'm pretty sure looking at your cleavage would cheer me up too.

[know_buddy_kares]

Could we do that when *I'm* sad? I'm pretty sure looking at your cleavage would cheer me up too.

yeah, since everyone is depressed in this thread... i think she should take some pics to cheer us all up

[Pandora]

I write a gratitude list. From the air I breathe, to waking up to another day, my friends, my home, my bed, coffee, freedom, love, hope, sobriety - I can make a list of 10,000 things if I really sit down and think hard about it.

That usually cheers me up. Or getting out of my head and doing something for someone else. That Always helps.

[Homicidalheathen]

avoiding my mom helps. She is a downer. Avoid downer people

[Oh_My_Goth]

Laugh, or cry, or both.....

Edited May 6, 2008 by Oh_My_Goth

[Draco1958]

I am following this thread with interest. Hoping to find something to help with this stupid depression. I don't want to go on meds. I saw what bipolar meds did to my niece, at times she was a zombie. She couldn't even function at school so depression meds scare me. I'm tired of crying myself to sleep. I'm tired of crawling into a hole and disappearing for a month or more at a time. I'm tired of feeling worthless, unwanted. Been going thru this since I was in grade school. As of this posting, I am already considering pulling away from DGN, my friends and such. Yeah, I probably could point out things that are causing these feeling but I won't. That won't do anything but make others feel bad. I am 50 and I don't see anything good in my future right now. I try to go out, have fun at CC and such yet it hits and I end up sitting off in a corner alone thinking I should have stayed home and not ruin everyone elses fun. Sometimes I feel invisible. I know this thread is to find out what someone does to cheer up, feel better but like others I felt explaining where I am coming from might spark something in someone who might be able to offer an idea to help. I am getting desperate and I'd rather not explain why at this time. Prefer to keep that private for now. And yes I even worked out a will with a total disposition of my belongings, who gets what etc. It hit again last Sat at CC and I almost had a panic attack and left but I was able to stick it out. This is really scaring me.

[Scales]

I know this thread is to find out what someone does to cheer up, feel better but like others I felt explaining where I am coming from might spark something in someone who might be able to offer an idea to help.

Anti-depressants are a lot better than just enduring the blunt of depression. I am taking 20 mg of Paroxetine daily for social anxiety/major depressive disorder (clinical depression) which 15% of untreated people die from through suicide. I don't know how I'm still alive and might find life to at many times be an endless plain of shit, but I have the ability to actually do all kinds of things now which is a huge deal. The only side-effects with Paroxetine I've had is it's harder to tell when I'm hungry, I do get a little tired in the beginning of the day which I've gotten used to, and I've had a lot more vivid dreams. As far as I know Paroxetine is mainly for treating unipolar depression out of the two (even though I'm a skeptic about the idea of bipolar depression).

I study human behavior, personality theory, sociology, philosophy, drug interactions, and neurobiology in my spare time because I like to know about this stuff. Depression might not go away, but it's better to take the step towards getting professional help rather than enduring it with your own coping methods. Just my two cents.

[Hellion]

Lack of sleep can be a big factor.I will usually crashout,and then I feel better,I do not trust antidepressants.