My Girlfriend

[crunchy_pickle (5)]

I have changed. My girlfriend cannot accept this change. She yells at me often. She swears at me often. When I get mad and call her a cunt, and I start screaming, she's scared. She blames 80% of our problems on me. She blames our money problems on me.

When I call her a cunt, she gets pissed. When I tell her to go home to her mommy, she tells me she's sick of hearing that. I don't know what to do.

I love this girl a lot. I care about her a lot. I wouldn't be this honest, or post this drama bullshit online if I didn't.

I need help.'

What am I supposed to do?

I mean why is it such a big deal that I call her a cunt, but she cusses and screams at me and that's ok?

Fuck that shit. I just want.

To be.

Respected and Loved.

By my Girlfriend.

Is this too much to ask?

Am I in the wrong here?

[Guest Megalicious]

OH NO! You used the c word. I fucking hate that word. You can call me anything but a cunt. My SO knows this which is why the C word is a NO NO in our house.

Seriously, it sounds like you guys need some interpersonal relationship therapy. Nip that shit in the butt if you love her. Soon or later all that fighting is going to turn into resentment.

Good luck to you and your Girl.

[LuluVox]

I mean why is it such a big deal that I call her a cunt, but she cusses and screams at me and that's ok?

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that neither of these things are kosher. I would sit down together when you're not fighting and discuss some ground rules for arguing that includes -- but is not limited to -- a moratorium on name-calling. Because it's not constructive and in the end just causes more friction between the two of you.

[Onyx]

Since you are asking, honestly you sound a bit unbalanced in the posts you are making lately.

I remember you had posted that you had quit taking your medications. It really shows. Some of your posts don't even sound like the same person who used to come here and have lots of interesting discussions. It's worrying.

Maybe it's time to give them another try or see if you can find a doctor that will prescribe something you can live with?

It also sounds like your relationship could benefit from some counseling. It's hard to afford I know, but maybe you could qualify for some type of benefits since you mentioned you aren't working?

[GOREgeouslyDecorated]

some girls are overly sensitive to being called a cunt, personally I'm not one of them, my BF calls me a cunt all the time and I kiss him & smile, but we have an odd relationship... try toning down on the C word a bit.... even though it's not fair that she can call you every name in the book, but remember... ALL WOMEN ARE CRAZY!! Just some more than others is all....

[creatureofthenyte]

Um, just my opinion:

but calling your girlfriend a cunt is wrong. It's ok to get mad. It's ok to argue. It's Not ok to call her a cunt.

If you love her like you say you do, then you will stop doing that. One thing that both of you need to do is Respect each other. And obviously if you're callin each other names like that, then there really isn't any Respect goin on. You mentioned in another thread that you posted, that you smoke pot. Maybe if you stopped, and didnt spend money on that, perhaps you would have money for stuff you actually need, and your gf would have less reason to yell at you. And yes, you are totally right, I don't know you, and you can tell me to shut up, and throw in some cuss words for good measure, but women these days, they won't take crap like that for very long, so keep that in mind.

To answer your question though, YES you are most definitely wrong for calling her a cunt.

[freydis]

Since you are asking, honestly you sound a bit unbalanced in the posts you are making lately.

I remember you had posted that you had quit taking your medications. It really shows. Some of your posts don't even sound like the same person who used to come here and have lots of interesting discussions. It's worrying.

Maybe it's time to give them another try or see if you can find a doctor that will prescribe something you can live with?

It also sounds like your relationship could benefit from some counseling. It's hard to afford I know, but maybe you could qualify for some type of benefits since you mentioned you aren't working?

Agreed.

[know_buddy_kares]

In a different opinion than everyone else...

yes, insults are bad, i don't believe cunt to be any worse or better than bitch, slut, ect. it's all negative. Now I understand WHY you do this, but 2 wrongs don't make a right.....

..in this situation that is.

I will agree with you that what goes around comes around. she gets in your shit, so it seems only fair to get back in her shit.

She does sound a bit immature however she is only human, from reading your other posts i'm led to understand that you and her have kids together, and most likely live together. So she's feeling all this stress of an impossibly tight budget just as bad as you are, and as you've noticed this is having major negative effects on your personality and how you socialize with others, try to understand that she's going through the same thing.

What I advise, is catch her on a calm moment, and calmly ask to talk for a quick second. Tell her you understand all the stress your situations are putting her through, and ask her to understand that it's effecting you as well. If you love her, then no matter what shit the rest of the world throws at you, that is your partner, she's there with you in it and should try to help you, just as you should try to help her. Its good that you want this to change, and rightly so it should change. however it has to start somewhere. Just remember, if you instigate this change for the better, try talking to her calmly and like an equal, she should try to follow the same respects.

I'm not going to sit here and harp on you about how bad you are for calling her a cunt, because her attitude is just as bad, verbal abuse goes both ways and honestly, you're a bigger man than I am because if that's all my girlfriend started doing, I woudln't care how long we have been together, I'd fuckin dump her ass. That's just something I won't tolerate for long if my significant other doesn't show attempt to stop verbal abuse. So yeah, you're a bigger man than I am for having the mind set to stick with her. However, the abuse needs to stop on both ends for more important reasons than your or her feelings. your kids are effected by this as well.

[Homicidalheathen]

So are you saying you can yell back at her whatever you want? Just not the 'c' word?

Cause it sounds like you both need a time out before you talk.

I am glad I am with someone who understands people lose it once in awhile........he calls me bitch once in awhile.......I call him prick......

But I do so hate the C word. Dunno why.......its just sooo nasty.

Prick just doesn't sound as bad.

I have changed. My girlfriend cannot accept this change. She yells at me often. She swears at me often. When I get mad and call her a cunt, and I start screaming, she's scared. She blames 80% of our problems on me. She blames our money problems on me.

When I call her a cunt, she gets pissed. When I tell her to go home to her mommy, she tells me she's sick of hearing that. I don't know what to do.

I love this girl a lot. I care about her a lot. I wouldn't be this honest, or post this drama bullshit online if I didn't.

I need help.'

What am I supposed to do?

I mean why is it such a big deal that I call her a cunt, but she cusses and screams at me and that's ok?

Fuck that shit. I just want.

To be.

Respected and Loved.

By my Girlfriend.

Is this too much to ask?

Am I in the wrong here?

[Steven]

I have changed. My girlfriend cannot accept this change. She yells at me often. She swears at me often. When I get mad and call her a cunt, and I start screaming, she's scared. She blames 80% of our problems on me. She blames our money problems on me.

When I call her a cunt, she gets pissed. When I tell her to go home to her mommy, she tells me she's sick of hearing that. I don't know what to do.

I love this girl a lot. I care about her a lot. I wouldn't be this honest, or post this drama bullshit online if I didn't.

I need help.'

What am I supposed to do?

I mean why is it such a big deal that I call her a cunt, but she cusses and screams at me and that's ok?

Fuck that shit. I just want.

To be.

Respected and Loved.

By my Girlfriend.

Is this too much to ask?

Am I in the wrong here?

no woman can respect and love you without first feeling honored, cherished, and protected by you.

and it has nothing to do with fair - this is real life.

she's insecure and unhappy.

you can call her a cunt which will only increase the downward spiral or you can start addressing the obvious needs in your home and give her somethign to beleive in.

[know_buddy_kares]

no woman can respect and love you without first feeling honored, cherished, and protected by you.

and it has nothing to do with fair - this is real life.

she's insecure and unhappy.

you can call her a cunt which will only increase the downward spiral or you can start addressing the obvious needs in your home and give her somethign to beleive in.

it sounds like he is also having the same problem regarding his current situation and uncertanty of his future. It's either going to get worse, or they're both gonna have to realize they're in this together and help eachother out instead of fighting.

This aint high school, man or woman, they need to grow up and stop lashing out at one another for their own insecurities.

[the eternal]

I have a different take.

First, you need to ask yourself, IS she a cunt??

That is, is she indeed a walking 5' tall Vagina?

If the answer is no, then I would try to cease calling her that.

Now, on the other hand, if she is a bitch,

then I would cease seeing her, because man-dog love is just plain wrong.

__________________________________________________________________

In lieu of all these, I would take Onyx's advice.

You seemed a lot different before.

Fun-loving.

Friendly.

Intelligent.

Sane.

I think many of us have hit rock bottom.

We've had troublesome issues that have consumed us, SO MUCH SO,

that we really can't get a good perspective on the

outside forces that are affecting us.

It's a terrible place to be.

But I think what you need to do now is FIRST, get the help you need, and after that, you can fully assess these

factors that are causing so much difficulty and pain in your life.

____________________________________________________________________________

But trust me on the cunt thing.

Cutting that word out will be the easiest thing you'll do as you head to recovery.

[angusfergus]

Recommendation.

Next time she starts screaming at your or cursing at you, don't respond in kind. Let her vent and then calmly state your piece.

If you don't fuel the fire, it goes out. This is true of both anger and love.

Good luck.

[TygerLili]

If she starts yelling or swearing at you the best thing you can do is calmly say "Either stop yelling and let's discuss this calmly, or I am getting away from you until you stop." If she keeps yelling, go into another room and give her some alone time to calm down. Yelling back will just make things worse, and name calling and insults are never appropriate, from either party.

So, yes, you are wrong for calling her a cunt, or any name, and she is wrong if she calls you any names. Name-calling is childish and counterproductive.

I have a temper, and so did my last two boyfriends, so I've been in plenty of yelling matches, but I've learned the hard way that when you're yelling at each other that only thing you accomplish is hurting the other person's feelings. You can't work anything out unless you can discuss it calmly and rationally.

[crunchy_pickle (5)]

Well I actually talked to her and resolved some issues after I made this post. I showed her the post too and let her know that her inability to listen has caused me to seek outside help.

I think she understands where I'm coming from now and that I only called her a cunt to make a point in the first place.

I also think she's currently reevaluating her whole life, because I'm just not the conformist, conservative, pussy that I made myself out to be for 2 years.

It kinda sucks when you're lost and even people who are loners hate you for having your own opinions.

It's all good though. I tried to be like everybody else and medicate myself once upon a time.

I've been off those meds since 1998 so that really has nothing at all to do with my posts lately.

Jesus is coming whether you believe me or not. Personally, I don't fucking care.

I've been waiting 30 years and warning people nearly as long.

I'm not some crazy guy on the street begging for change.

I'm not trying to gain something by helping you.

Maybe just maybe I'm not the closed minded one here.

But whatever man. I like me. If you don't like me anymore. Tough shit. God's a little more important than you, as our the rest of the people in this world that actually give two fucks whether we're destroying ourselves or not.

[crunchy_pickle (5)]

If she starts yelling or swearing at you the best thing you can do is calmly say "Either stop yelling and let's discuss this calmly, or I am getting away from you until you stop." If she keeps yelling, go into another room and give her some alone time to calm down. Yelling back will just make things worse, and name calling and insults are never appropriate, from either party.

So, yes, you are wrong for calling her a cunt, or any name, and she is wrong if she calls you any names. Name-calling is childish and counterproductive.

I have a temper, and so did my last two boyfriends, so I've been in plenty of yelling matches, but I've learned the hard way that when you're yelling at each other that only thing you accomplish is hurting the other person's feelings. You can't work anything out unless you can discuss it calmly and rationally.

Oh I totally agree. Had I not already tried this a billion times without screaming I would not be here asking for help at all. I think I'm just doomed to meet women that I have to teach for the rest of my life or start dating older ones, or just shut up and accept things.

[crunchy_pickle (5)]

On another note:

Please don't take my thoughts so personally.

They're only directed at YOU

If YOU are a PART OF THE PROBLEM

Quit feeling so Goddamn important.

On another note. I'm not looking for religious advice either.

I know whats right.

I know whats wrong.

If I've ever judged you unfairly, I only judged you by the way I would judge myself.

If you think I judge myself unfairly maybe you should reexamine your own conscience and quit telling me I'm being too hard on myself.

I don't want to hear nobody's perfect.

That's not a good enough reason to not try.

So really. If you think you can advise me on any ways of life without me asking.

I'd appreciate it if you'd keep your preaching to yourself.

I don't preach.

I share my experiences.

If you think I've evaluated the world unfairly for caring more about the world and money than God, prove me wrong.

I don't believe you.

But try it. I'm that curious.

[the eternal]

You say it too.

I'm not Christian anyways.

I'm a Jew.

Without Jewish family.

Raised Catholic.

That believes in Jesus.

And not Jewish laws.

So good luck.

I haven't judged you for things I do myself so quit doing it to me.

Because that's really lame and hypocritical.

Since you weren't raised Jewish,

and don't have Jewish family,

and don't follow any Jewish laws,

and you believe in Jesus, could you, um, just say, you're Christian.

Just as a favor.

For me.

See there's this woman, Dr Laura, who was kinda in the same boat as you.

Same religious beliefs.

Same temperment.

Well, anyway, she used to call herself Jewish,

and I (with the help of thousands of other practicing Jews)

asked her to just call herself Christian,

and she obliged.

So I was just kinda hoping you could do the same.

Thanky!

[crunchy_pickle (5)]

I'm sorry but I can't do that. God was here first and that name belongs to him and no one else.

I will however refrain from posting (within reason and subject to my ability to care at that point in time) that if it makes you feel better.

I don't mean to be offensive. I just don't see how anyone can claim ownership over something that doesn't belong to them in the first place. Like yourselves, beliefs, labels, etc. Just seems kinda anti-God to me.

Aside from that, I'm not a fucking Christian and wouldn't associate myself with any of their Churches if hell froze over.

One Church. The Body of Christ, hardly has anything to do with a bunch of buildings that collect money selling the word of God at the price of someone's conscience.

That's just some backhanded dirty shit, and I refuse to be a part of it.

If I'm not Jewish enough for believing some laws need to be re-established and organized by people of all creeds and colors for the purpose of being a little closer to God than one sect could ever hope to be, I don't know what to tell you sister. Your laws differ slightly from the Laws I set for myself, but not vastly, and I have a Savior. Other than that, I don't see how we differ, nor do I see any reason for contempt in using a name that I have every right to.

I haven't asked you to accept Jesus, so you really have some audacity for telling me how to live my life.

I can respect that though. I just refuse.

[Gaf The Horse With Tears]

um... What does any of that have to do with calling your self Jewish when clearly you are not... and um, eternal is in fact jewish... and a rather devote and proud one at that. You belittle and mock his faith when you call yourself a Jew.

[crunchy_pickle (5)]

If he feels insulted by my Title let him take it up with me, and I'll tell him what I think of his opinions.

I don't really care personally. I'm not here to be anyone's slave.

[crunchy_pickle (5)]

Jesus was a Jew. In my opinion he was the best Jew whoever lived. In my opinion anyone who doesn't believe that shouldn't be calling themselves Jews. They therefore offend me, God, and Christ.

That's my opinion if you really want it.

I have more right in my mind to use that name than they do.

If my beliefs are just TOO WRONG for everyone here, I guess just ban me dude. I don't really want that, but I have little choice. You can't expect me to just take it up the ass on my principles to cater to everyone else.

[Gaf The Horse With Tears]

BTW...

Christian = Follower of Christ.

[crunchy_pickle (5)]

Well when I see a few following him, I'll think about it.

I don't follow Christ anyways. Christ is my model. I follow the Father and pray to him alone as he taught us. I just don't think my beliefs are compatible.

I have no disrespect for the patriarchs or for Christ for that matter. Christ was the key. That doesn't change the fact however that no one is greater than God, and praying to a Saint is about as productive as praying to Fido after you bury him.

[Gaf The Horse With Tears]

So, only your Rights are valid? Your Freedom of Speech only goes as far as the first person it offends. It ends there. You have been asked twice to stop referring to your self as a Jew because it offends the Jewish members of the board. Now your saying they don't matter because they are not truly Jewish... Which offends the hell out of me as an American.

you are being extremely offensive and rude. I am asking you nicely to stop it. At least here. and noone want to read you defend your offensive behavior. Really, just stop.

Practice what you Preach.