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The Insult Thread


soothsayer

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you ARE the ohster... :ohmy: :laughing

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

::: Twitches :::

"Sorry!! It's just that thoughts of you give me seizures!!"

"Someone wee-wee needs some WHEE-WHEE!!"

"Forget the magnifying glass, how about a telescope?"

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One night of sex with you makes me nostalgic for that time I passed a kidneystone.

One evening with you makes makes me nostalgic for that time I passed a kidneystone.

One look at you makes me nostalgic for that time I passed a kidneystone.

One date with you makes me nostalgic for that time I passed a kidneystone.

I think this one has so much potential.

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Well I heard that you're leavin' (leavin')

Gonna leave me far behind (so far behind)

'Cause you found a brand new lover

You decided that I'm not your kind (aahh..)

So I pulled (I pulled) your name out (name out) of my Rolodex (oohh..)

And I tore all your pictures in two

And I burned down the malt shop where we used to go

Just because it reminds me of you (dippity dippity doo)

That's right (that's right) you ain't gonna see me cryin'

I'm glad (I'm glad) that you found somebody new

'Cause I'd rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass

Than spend one more minute with you

I guess I might seem kinda bitter

You got me feeling down in the dumps

'Cause I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love

And I have to use the self-service pumps

Oh, so honey, let me help you with that suitcase

You ain't (you ain't) gonna break my heart in two

'Cause I'd rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face

Than spend one more minute with you

I'd rather rip out my intestines with a fork

Than watch you going out with other men

I'd rather slam my fingers in a door (yah)

Again and again and again and again and again

Oh, can't you see what I'm tryin' to say, Darlin...

I'd rather have my blood sucked out by leeches (leeches)

Shove an icepick under a toenail or two

I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue

Than spend one more minute with you

Yes, I'd rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks

Or stick my nostrils together with crazy glue

I'd rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades

Than spend one more minute with you

I'd rather rip my heart out of my ribcage with my bare hands

and then throw it on the floor and stomp on it 'till I die

Than spend one more minute with you

- weird al yankovic

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