Can Tigers Really Change Their Stripes?

[Miranda]

Is it possible for a person to really change? Do we have that ability? I have toyed with the idea of letting a past acquaintance into my life and have definite reservations about it. We came back together in an odd way, it is just a friendship, not anything deeper. I am not too trusting by nature but what is your opinion about an individuals ability to truly change who they are?

[Gaf The Horse With Tears]

Change goes to the very core of what we are.

[phee]

No absolutely not!!!

Well I may feel differently in a little while...

[TygerLili]

I think people are capable of changing, but the person him/herself has to really want to change, and I don't think most people really want to make that kind of commitment and put forth the effort to uphold it for longer than the short period of time it takes them to get what they wanted.

I don't believe a person can change just because you want them to or ask them to.

[sass_in_the_pants]

Are YOU the same person you were ten years ago?

[Head Wreck]

depends if the person really deep down wants to change.

a lot of people dont want to change, they dont even know they don't

[Msterbeau]

I think there are two kinds of change:

1. The slow shift that happens over many years and is usually not the result of conscious thought or effort. Yet, if you look at the beginning and end, you see a significant difference.

2. A deliberate and concerted effort to change image, behaviors, thoughts etc. This can be for a variety of reasons. Some people want to get laid more often. Some people want to have more success at some other endeavor. Some people want to better themselves or get more healthy. But these take the kind of change that overcomes the inertia of life that keeps us on one path.

I think some people hate change and do everything they can to avoid it and stick with what they know and what's comfortable. I think some people change when they need to without too much fuss but they generally don't do it one their own. And lastly, I think their are some people for whom change and development are and integral part of who they are. They are constantly pushing boundaries and trying new things to see what works for them and what doesn't. And the retest... knowing that what works now may not 10 years down the road.

[jadnifer]

Change is inevitable.

I believe that people have the capacity to change. However, as has already been mentioned, the person has to WANT to change. No one can make someone else change.

As far as someone changing for the better after something that happened in the past and is wanting to become a part of your life again, I would do it as a probationary period type thing, especially if you have a hard time trusting people. If you really want to, you can give them a second chance. If I were you though, I would end it if previous behavior shows again.

Change is possible. If the person realizes that they made a mistake and really wants to make it right and change their behavior, they can. We have the capacity. It just depends on whether or not we use or choose to use that capacity.

[Miranda]

I'm not the same person I was 10 years ago, no. Though not everything has changed. I guess I should have said; Can an asshole change? That would have been more to the point. As days pass and experiences occur of course we change, I meant something different, more about people with not much ethic.

[jadnifer]

I suppose that it's possible. Anything is possible. Although, it's not very likely. I'm sorry that I have to be the one to tell you that, but I have had more than one experience enough to know all about that. You can try, but I don't think that the outcome will be very good.

[Miranda]

I suppose that it's possible. Anything is possible. Although, it's not very likely. I'm sorry that I have to be the one to tell you that, but I have had more than one experience enough to know all about that. You can try, but I don't think that the outcome will be very good.

I know you are not just whistlin' dixie! Some things are just better left alone and unsaid.

[jadnifer]

As much as someone might want things to change, it may never happen. Sometimes the past is just better left in the past.

[Reverend]

Is it possible for a person to really change? Do we have that ability? I have toyed with the idea of letting a past acquaintance into my life and have definite reservations about it. We came back together in an odd way, it is just a friendship, not anything deeper. I am not too trusting by nature but what is your opinion about an individuals ability to truly change who they are?

People can change themselves as long as they are true to their needs and make the effort to really change. Is this person still behaving the same as before? Is this person's actions/behavior still the same or has their behavior drastically changed? What have they been doing with their life? Just some questions to ask yourself when talking with this other person.

I've had to cut loose acquaintances and friends because of how they were impacting my life and interfering with my growth as a person. Some of them have come back into my life and some I've had to reject. I will ask those questions relating to their life and emotional being to see if the core of their identity has changed. If it hasn't then I tell them that we as people have grown in two separate directions and no longer are truly compatible. Then send them on their way. If they cannot accept it, then that is an issue they will need to resolve. Not you.

I'll stop now... starting to ramble.

[Rev.Reverence]

I think there are two kinds of change:

1. The slow shift that happens over many years and is usually not the result of conscious thought or effort. Yet, if you look at the beginning and end, you see a significant difference.

2. A deliberate and concerted effort to change image, behaviors, thoughts etc. This can be for a variety of reasons. Some people want to get laid more often. Some people want to have more success at some other endeavor. Some people want to better themselves or get more healthy. But these take the kind of change that overcomes the inertia of life that keeps us on one path.

I think some people hate change and do everything they can to avoid it and stick with what they know and what's comfortable. I think some people change when they need to without too much fuss but they generally don't do it one their own. And lastly, I think their are some people for whom change and development are and integral part of who they are. They are constantly pushing boundaries and trying new things to see what works for them and what doesn't. And the retest... knowing that what works now may not 10 years down the road.

I would only honestly beg you to CHANGE one word; 'hate' to 'FEAR'

thank you

[know_buddy_kares]

I think change is inevitable. To grow in mind, one MUST be accepting of change. If not, it get's stale, and you go nowhere in life.. I know I've changed alot for the worse as for the better. I look back to who I was 5 years ago... I've soured alot over the years, became more gruff with people, yet at the same time my gullible side has vanished. Now for changing as in breaking a bad habit, it is possible, but that person really must desire to change that themselves, and for themselves. Because if they don't do it for themselves, someone else cant make them, or if they get them to, it won't last long.

[Hellion]

I was completely different 10 years ago,the main thing changed was hard drug use (cocaine,etc etc)

the most recent change was cutting way back on alcohol and that actually improved my personality.

but my distrust of most is one thing that has to stay due to some past bs,trust is earned not handed out,and it take more than the national guard for me to just trust anyone(mostly ppl I do not know,and some I wrote off)

my career in mfg and machining is the most important thing in my life right now.

[Dirtywhispers]

I cant really say anything the others haven't. What I can say is I am living proof that if ou want it bad enough ppl change. No one can change completely. Your cant change who you are but you can change what you do.

[Msterbeau]

I would only honestly beg you to CHANGE one word; 'hate' to 'FEAR'

thank you

I'll buy that.

[torn asunder]

change must, by necessity, come from within, for it to take root and become the new "norm" - anything else is just the individual acting under duress, and will eventually cause/allow them to revert...

[Kit Kat P]

simply, No

[prettystar1sky]

Oh if it's an "asshole" you speak of then I doubt the change.

You could try to be *friends* with this person; however, in my previous recent expierence, I should have listened to all those warnings. I just can't see this person as my *friend* b/c he betrayed my total trust in him.

And that makes him an asshole.

I really don't mean to date assholes... I'm just this unfortunate asshole magnet.

"Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours."

[Pandora]

Oh if it's an "asshole" you speak of then I doubt the change.

You could try to be *friends* with this person; however, in my previous recent expierence, I should have listened to all those warnings. I just can't see this person as my *friend* b/c he betrayed my total trust in him.

And that makes him an asshole.

I really don't mean to date assholes... I'm just this unfortunate asshole magnet.

"Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours."

It takes two to tango imo. I have never once had the experience where any relationship problem was completely one-sided. Of course people, even "assholes" can change. It isn't easy, but very possible.

Age has changed me the most, the process of aging, and I am monumentally grateful for it.

Three things are guaranteed in life.

You're born.

You'll die.

And things Change.

Woohoo!

[Homicidalheathen]

Yes if one is motivated.

While raising kids I didn't let any substance besides food or non alcoholic drink touch my lips....and we didn't practice an open relationship.

When they turned 12 I reverted back to my old self. But not as wild...so yah they changed me a bit for the better I think.

But yah, kid rearing was a good motivator to be a upstanding 'normal' citizen.

That is about the only thing that will do it for me. The rest of humanity can go fuck themselves.

[JaneDead]

Is it possible for a person to really change? Do we have that ability? I have toyed with the idea of letting a past acquaintance into my life and have definite reservations about it. We came back together in an odd way, it is just a friendship, not anything deeper. I am not too trusting by nature but what is your opinion about an individuals ability to truly change who they are?

yep, my ex did. not the guy i just was married to... my ex before him. (the ex that i married will ALWAYS be a selfish, irresponsible, cold hearted asshole)

but anyways my other ex- totally changed. i won't get into all the things HE did/used to do... when he left my life long ago... but since he came back into it/i let him back in - total change.

the key for me though was to forgive his old ways so i could accept his new ones. and i am glad i did. it has been so worth it. he's pretty great now. he has other faults now... but we all do.

now, another person i cut from my life - i would not let her back in no matter how much she changed/grew up. too much damage was done for me to even want to know her again. i hope she is doing well in life, but that is about the extent of it. i don't hate her, just don't care to know her at all.

so people can change, we are changing all the time (hopefully!) - it's just a matter of how important this person is/was to you to want them back around again and if you are willing to put yourself out there to possibly get burned again?

[Sybil]

Are YOU the same person you were ten years ago?

*whispers*

This was my thought also...