What's A Reasonable Amount Of Time..

[Troy Spiral (13)]

Seems so insanely situational dependant, and based on a billion different factors as many have alluded to above.

If i just had to pull something out of the air and make a few assumptions like:

Both people work full time same-shift jobs, say M-F 8 to 6, they live within a half hour or so drive of each other, can afford the gas, neither have kids, and both actually value a romantic relationship at least somewhat more than other types relationships, both are reasonably healthy. That there is the key set of assumptions i suppose.

There people don't value romantic relationships all that highly , as counter intuitive as some may find that, often the really famous career-oriented types site "just too busy don't spend enough time together" as a key reason why they break up, not because they hate each other or some such, but because they value their work and career and/or quantity of relationships over any one particular human relationship. Its a question of priorities, and only so many hours in a day.

Hrmm. It would seem like if its less than most weekends (or at least a weekend day or two) and maybe 1 or 2 days during the week its more of a friendship with sex than a real relationship. Unless you have some herculean obstacles to overcome responsibility wise , the desire to be with someone your in love with would , i'd assume, make you work your schedule as such that you could maximize your time with that person to some extent. But that would also even still, wax and wane with various other unavoidable responsibilities/family/friends and other parts of their life that might make it difficult to get together.

I also would say this could be viewed more as a "pool" of time to get a bit technical. Like say you didn't spend much time at all together one week due to whatever reasons, but the next week you spent twice the time, it would sort of even out.

In any relationship I've ever been in even if i was at my maximum workaholic state, i still could find time for like a Friday/Saturday sleepover and 1 or 2 (usually just one more often than not) weekdays to be with said loved one. I was often told by at least 2 exes i was neglecting them for not spending more time with them, much to my chagrin, since I'm never with anyone i don't care about deeply. I know the millage may vary widely. Some of my friends got/get together with their S.O. what seems to me like almost every day and have done so for ages. While i know other couples that live like a thousand miles away from each other.

[Rev.Reverence]

So would you guys think that if you get together with your SO every other weekend with one or two days during the week kind of like a part time relationship?

I only say this because most people chose the Every weekend with one or two days during the week thingie..

What if you have other interests? how do you fit those in? AND your friends whom you don't really have in common? Especially since you work a full time job and things..

What if say the first six-twelve months you DID spend that much time (every weekend and a couple days during the week) with the SO putting all other things on hold? Do you think that other person is being dishonest with the amount of time they were willing to spend??

1)Yes.

2)Juggle.

3)...What? I have never 'been' with anybody for over a year AND not lived with them...

what a concept...

Good Luck Doll... I think I need another rumm after that one...

(grmm-ED)

[TygerLili]

I'm answering these questions for me an my opinions only, I know everyone is different.

So would you guys think that if you get together with your SO every other weekend with one or two days during the week kind of like a part time relationship?

I only say this because most people chose the Every weekend with one or two days during the week thingie..

To me that would either be a long distance relationship, or not an actual relationship, but more of a casual fling type situation.

What if you have other interests? how do you fit those in? AND your friends whom you don't really have in common? Especially since you work a full time job and things..

Oh, you can juggle those things around, for sure (i.e.-"Honey I really want to spend this weekend hanging out with my college roommate. Can we spend two or three nights during the week together instead?"), but if this is more than an occasional thing I I would at least like the offer to be included in my SO's interests (i.e.- "Do you want to come fishing with me tomorrow?" or "Do you want to have dinner with my friend Bob on Thursday?"). I always have the option to decline the offer, but trying to take an interest in your SO's hobbies and friends is nice sometimes, too.

What if say the first six-twelve months you DID spend that much time (every weekend and a couple days during the week) with the SO putting all other things on hold? Do you think that other person is being dishonest with the amount of time they were willing to spend??

If the person needs to dedicate so much time to his own interests and friends that he doesn't have a reasonable amount of time to spend with me, then I don't want to be with him in the first place. Some people really are "too busy" to be in a serious relationship, and that's fine, but he should be upfront about that and I'll find someone else who is willing to make more time for me. This was a major point of contention in one relationship, and I've since learned not to date someone who doesn't want the same level of involvement in each other's lives that I do.

[CandyQuackenbush]

Odims and I do spend time with eachother, but we don't at the same time.

I go to school in the morning, and work right after and that goes til night time. When I come home, I just want to sit down, and calm down from the day.

I now have Fri-Sun off every week at my job. I did this so that I can have a family life as well as a life of my own. Plus I hate my job. Hehehe.

[prettystar1sky]

I'm the majority of this poll--

Every weekend/with one-two days during the week.

As busy as I am-- 20 hrs @ school, M-Th 8am-1pm, work hrs that vary btwn 30-45 hrs--I would make that time for him. Anything less would be due to not being THAT interested or having more hrs piled on me at work.

[sass_in_the_pants]

I don't know about time, per se, but I was always of the belief that people in love should not live together, they should live next to eachother. Like, with a breezeway between the houses, but still seperate houses. Shit, I'm married and I'm in love, and I still wouldn't mind my own place every now and again...I don't want Guy to be far, mind you, but just close enough.

[Sybil]

i can't even pick any of the choices- sometimes i want to see him all the time and sometimes i just want a break. i can't really break it down into "i want to see him every weekend only" or "3 times a week". i just want to see him when i want to see him... and not see him when i don't sometimes i need a break from people in general.

Yep. I "ditto this"....except for the fact that......

I live with my man.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

aff.. i accidentally deleted someones reply and its not were it shoudl usually be for retreval... meh. *stares around*