Weird Saying I've Wondered About A Long Time

[Destroit]

This may sound odd, but I'm for 100% serious about the question. Why is it girls who have a little more cushion on them are called "curvy" as opposed to women who are skinny.

This only confuses me because from what I've noticed skinny women have curves, not only do they have curves but they're usually quite prominant. That's why it never made sense to me really.

I always figured that curves should depend on your bone structure, not weight. Believe it or not the term makes a lot of skinny girls feel like shit (which is starting to be society's goal from what I've noticed), that's why I'm wondering how that ever came about.

I'm also not saying that girls with weight on them shouldn't have compliment-type sayings about them, but to me I never understood why they'd use the term "curvy", since all women are supposed to be curvy not just overweight girls.

We've got curves too! I'm damn shapely, none of my bigger friends have curves like me (at least not in proportion), so that's why I've always wondered why that term is usually applied to girls who have a little extra on their body.

Enlighten me, 'cause I've seriously wondered about this for years , even when I was bigger myself.

[Oh_My_Goth]

It is a polite way to call somebody fat.....

[freydis]

I have a feeling this is going to get ugly.

Whether its people actually arguing, or not.

[Oh_My_Goth]

Yep.....

[Kit Kat P]

I've never seen it as a polite way to call someone fat. Whether I'm a size 6 (which I hated) or my current size 10 I've always been curvy. It means that I'm not bony and even my shadows punctuate my curves. I have a definite dip w/ my waist, a kicking ass, shoulders that both hold your eyes and draw them down, and great thighs . I have lines that curve and invite, not bony angles that beg for a steak to be eaten.

[torn asunder]

i always thought it was more of a "sillouette" thing - you can see more "curves" on a fuller-figured woman than a skinnier one...

[Destroit]

I have a feeling this is going to get ugly.

Whether its people actually arguing, or not.

That's not my intent, I'm asking as a serious question because, yes, the term makes me feel kinda shitty and unfeminine on a regular basis .

I dunno, if you guys really want me to close the topic I will, but I don't understand why we can't all just chat like adults about something I'm actually genuinely curious about.

I'm not going to lie, I've noticed that on DGN you can mention almost anything under the sun as a topic...but the second anyone says even the most insignificant statement about weight it's like WWIII. I don't understand why it can't be discussed like any of the other controversial topics we talk about, so long as it's done in a tactful and civil manner.

[Destroit]

I've never seen it as a polite way to call someone fat.

I have lines that curve and invite, not bony angles that beg for a steak to be eaten.

So...it's a polite way to tell a girl she's not skinny? Now I r confused, you slightly did contradict yourself a smidge...

The only way I'd ever look at girl and think "holy shit, that girl needs a sammich" is if she's been clinically diagnosed with an eating disorder (anhorrexia or bullimia).

[Gaf The Horse With Tears]

Welcome to my world.

but to addres the actually topic.

Take said "skinny chick" and run your hand down her body... oh wait... bone sticking out... the smooth flow you were expecting is disturbed by an odd protudence.

Take said "full figured girl" and run you hand down her body.. smooth.. all the way.. no matter where you go... smooth sailing.. with nothing interfearing with the flow or you hands movement.

[Destroit]

Welcome to my world.

but to addres the actually topic.

Take said "skinny chick" and run your hand down her body... oh wait... bone sticking out... the smooth flow you were expecting is disturbed by an odd protudence.

Take said "full figured girl" and run you hand down her body.. smooth.. all the way.. no matter where you go... smooth sailing.. with nothing interfearing with the flow or you hands movement.

Mehhh...how full figured are you talking here? 'Cause you'd have to be fairly full figured to not have any bones jutting out, even at 200 I could feel my hip bones prominantely.

At 170 right now I can feel all my rib cage easily, shoulder bones, and hips quite prominately, and I'm a good 40 lbs heavier than I was.

Actually, furthermore, when I was thin you couldn't feel the bones any less really than you can now.

I do see your point though I guess, that makes it make a little more sense.

I dunno, I just think I have a little bit of pissedness because when I got down to my healthy weight (135) people were telling me I needed to eat and gain weight, which obviously made me furious. I mean here I was, totally fucking sassy and feeling better about myself than I'd EVER felt before...and people were saying I was ugly? Wtf. The funny part is I go both ways, when I get down to 135 half of my friends say "shit, you're too thin now" and now that I'm 170 I have the opposite half saying "Damn girl, you've got to cut out that fast food shit". So I'm pissed AND confused .

That's the last thing you tell a girl who just dropped 70 lbs is that she's "too skinny" and needs to eat. That's probably why I have such a personal vendetta against the term "curvy" being used generally for bigger women - all of us girls who are curvy should be called curvy, not just big gals!

[Gaf The Horse With Tears]

Look darlin...

It's your body. More than anyone else... your the one thats has to fuck it. If you turn you on... your good to go. Everyone else that gets to touch you, is being granted a boon. Ignore anyone that gives you crap about your weight unless they plan on living in your body for a while

[Pandora]

And um, maybe you should Stop listening to idiots who tell you to gain or lose weight. Unless you're truly obese and your weight will cut years from your life, get the weight You want and love yourself for it.

Screw what other people think, unless of course they're screwing you, and are Happy about it.

[Destroit]

Look darlin...

It's your body. More than anyone else... your the one thats has to fuck it. If you turn you on... your good to go. Everyone else that gets to touch you, is being granted a boon. Ignore anyone that gives you crap about your weight unless they plan on living in your body for a while

And um, maybe you should Stop listening to idiots who tell you to gain or lose weight. Unless you're truly obese and your weight will cut years from your life, get the weight You want and love yourself for it.

Screw what other people think, unless of course they're screwing you, and are Happy about it.

Yeeeahh, I guess that's easy advice to take but harder to follow . It's hard now though that I'm getting heavier again, I take it when people call me too fat to heart more than when people say I'm too skinny. I guess I gotta just always keep my self-esteem (or lack thereof) in check more...?

[Destroit]

Ding ding, we have a winner. Bony = Bad!

Well that's kinda bad though too, I know it's your opinion but that's offensive to some people too. There's gotta be some dudes who like bony girls, yes? That's the same as saying, imo, Rolls = Bad!

See what I mean?

If it's rude to say "Rolls = Bad!" then why isn't it equally as rude to say "Bony = Bad!" Wasn't beauty supposed to be in the eye of the beholder?

[Fierce Critter]

the second anyone says even the most insignificant statement about weight it's like WWIII. I don't understand why it can't be discussed like any of the other controversial topics we talk about, so long as it's done in a tactful and civil manner.

Because tact and civility have a tendency to go out the window on this subject.

I make it a point to try not to slam girls I see as thin in an unattractive/unhealthy way. Because prejudice against people due to body type is sickeningly acceptable in this society. I don't appreciate being looked down upon or looked on as somehow inferior or worthy of derision because I'm fat. So I don't think it's fair to treat skinny girls that way, either.

This society is horrible to fat people. I mean, I see these shows about people who are 700+lbs and I think to myself, "that's really sick, why didn't they get help, or why didn't someone help them before they got that bad?" I mean, come on. You can't be THAT big due to choice. If you choosing to shove so much food in your face that you get so fucking fat you can't move or breathe, there's something either mentally, emotionally or genetically going on that needs to be addressed & treated.

But it's not fair to make fun of these people, any more than it's fair to make fun of those poor anorexic girls who waste away to nothing due to their own mental/emotional issues.

I don't care what your body weight is. Downing on someone for how little or how much they weight isn't any kind of "productive." It's just bullying, cruel, and counter-productive. I've never met a skinny person who gained weight or a fat person who lost weight due to someone else belittling them.

That said, as far as the term "curvy" goes, I'm of the camp that believes it's a "tactful" way of referring to fat chicks. It's about on a par with the terms zaftig or Rubenesque. I think it's more addressed to a woman who is in the middleground of weight, though. I'm talking size 10-12 or so. Frankly, I find women who are proportional in that size range to be the most attractive. They're not bony and angular, but they're not bloated or flabby. That middleground of plush but firm really is gorgeous. That's where I hope to be someday.

It's really silly to be outraged or otherwise upset because a term is applied to a different "group" than you fall into, Chernobyl. Come on. How many positive terms are applied to thin women as opposed to positive terms that are applied to full-figured women? Make a list, and I'm sure you'll see positive adjectives are much more weighted (pardon the expression) towards women of size 8 and down than those size 10 and up.

[Msterbeau]

It is a polite way to call somebody fat.....

Possibly in some case. But I think curvy is different then fat. Thinner woman often don't have large breasts nor substantial hips. From afar they look "straight".. A thinner woman with hips and larger boobs is certainly curvy but not at all fat. In my head curvy tends to mean a little "extra" weight but not substantially so.

We need charts so everyone is clear....

[Destroit]

Because tact and civility have a tendency to go out the window on this subject.

I make it a point to try not to slam girls I see as thin in an unattractive/unhealthy way. Because prejudice against people due to body type is sickeningly acceptable in this society. I don't appreciate being looked down upon or looked on as somehow inferior or worthy of derision because I'm fat. So I don't think it's fair to treat skinny girls that way, either.

This society is horrible to fat people. I mean, I see these shows about people who are 700+lbs and I think to myself, "that's really sick, why didn't they get help, or why didn't someone help them before they got that bad?" I mean, come on. You can't be THAT big due to choice. If you choosing to shove so much food in your face that you get so fucking fat you can't move or breathe, there's something either mentally, emotionally or genetically going on that needs to be addressed & treated.

But it's not fair to make fun of these people, any more than it's fair to make fun of those poor anorexic girls who waste away to nothing due to their own mental/emotional issues.

I don't care what your body weight is. Downing on someone for how little or how much they weight isn't any kind of "productive." It's just bullying, cruel, and counter-productive. I've never met a skinny person who gained weight or a fat person who lost weight due to someone else belittling them.

That said, as far as the term "curvy" goes, I'm of the camp that believes it's a "tactful" way of referring to fat chicks. It's about on a par with the terms zaftig or Rubenesque. I think it's more addressed to a woman who is in the middleground of weight, though. I'm talking size 10-12 or so. Frankly, I find women who are proportional in that size range to be the most attractive. They're not bony and angular, but they're not bloated or flabby. That middleground of plush but firm really is gorgeous. That's where I hope to be someday.

It's really silly to be outraged or otherwise upset because a term is applied to a different "group" than you fall into, Chernobyl. Come on. How many positive terms are applied to thin women as opposed to positive terms that are applied to full-figured women? Make a list, and I'm sure you'll see positive adjectives are much more weighted (pardon the expression) towards women of size 8 and down than those size 10 and up.

Very good post, interesting to read. I dunno, another reason I also did start this post is because when I was 200+ I actually got picked on less than I did when I was 135. I'm not making that up in the slightest. So I also thought that was interesting.

Here I was as a bigger person feeling like I was ugly and such and that people made fun of me...only to discover that when you're a skinny person it's worse. Especially, and this is from my personal experience, from other women. When I was bigger I was made fun of by mostly men and valley girls, when I was skinny I was always brutally made fun of by other women. If I heard another girl say "Looks like someone needs a sandwich" one more time I was going to choke her. Other women make fun of skinny girls relentlessly, that's why this entire topic interests me really, like the psychology of it.

I'm odd because I can wear two hats and have both experiences: Firstly, spending my life as 210 lbs then living at 135 lbs. I should write a book or something, it's been a real eye-opener for me. But for the record, if I were to count the sheer amount of teasing at 135 vs. teasing when I was 210, not who the teasing is coming from, I definately got made fun of at 135 much more.

[Guest Megalicious]

Ding ding, we have a winner. Bony = Bad!

I wouldn't say that. I love bony in a certain kind of way. I think the collar bone is extmely attractive.

I have only been horribly thin when I was a junkie so its not like I could enjoy it, I noticed i got more attention but really WTF, I looked all strung out and horrible.

I have to go with Mike here, its a sillouette thing. Though skinny women can be just as curvy, for the most part I think it's just a sterotype Cher, the thin bone, flat chested girl with no curves.

Just like the sterotype of being called curvy is a nice way of saying your fat. There are all kinds of inbetweens. All different types of body types. Skinny women can be curvy, and heavier women don't always have curves.

I know how you feel, my weight has gone up and down dramaticly trough out my life and a certain insecureities come along with that. I'm not talking about 20 lbs. I;m talking like 60-100 lbs. It's because we have seen both side and how different ppl treat us.

YOUR HOT CHER!! EXCEPT IT !!!!!! We do!!!!

[Destroit]

I wouldn't say that. I love bony in a certain kind of way. I think the collar bone is extmely attractive.

I have only been horribly thin when I was a junkie so its not like I could enjoy it, I noticed i got more attention but really WTF, I looked all strung out and horrible.

I have to go with Mike here, its a sillouette thing. Though skinny women can be just as curvy, for the most part I think it's just a sterotype Cher, the thin bone, flat chested girl with no curves.

Just like the sterotype of being called curvy is a nice way of saying your fat. There are all kinds of inbetweens. All different types of body types. Skinny women can be curvy, and heavier women don't always have curves.

I know how you feel, my weight has gone up and down dramaticly trough out my life and a certain insecureities come along with that. I'm not talking about 20 lbs. I;m talking like 60-100 lbs. It's because we have seen both side and how different ppl treat us.

YOUR HOT CHER!! EXCEPT IT !!!!!! We do!!!!

YES - your post wins! Especially that last line, flattery will get you anywhere.

Here's another pony, in addition to the one I already got for you:

I really hope you have a big house.

[Kit Kat P]

I think it's more addressed to a woman who is in the middle-ground of weight, though. I'm talking size 10-12 or so. Frankly, I find women who are proportional in that size range to be the most attractive. They're not bony and angular, but they're not bloated or flabby. That middle-ground of plush but firm really is gorgeous. That's where I hope to be someday.

Thank you FC. I'm going to chose to take this as a big, fat compliment.

[Rev.Reverence]

OOOOOOO!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAA!!!!!!

OO!!!

how do you answer that... ANALOGY TIME...

Why do we call something hot(spicy) or sour or sweet...

so we can communicate, concisely...

How did this happen ????

I'm out of smart.

[Pandora]

Well that's kinda bad though too, I know it's your opinion but that's offensive to some people too. There's gotta be some dudes who like bony girls, yes? That's the same as saying, imo, Rolls = Bad!

See what I mean?

If it's rude to say "Rolls = Bad!" then why isn't it equally as rude to say "Bony = Bad!" Wasn't beauty supposed to be in the eye of the beholder?

Everything is perception, everything so yes, eye of the beholder has lots of truth to it.

You my dear are not remotely boney (not that I'm saying you're fat, I don;t think you are at All), and I know few women who are. You are what I would call perfectly curvy, and I'm as straight as they come. In my view, boney usually means anorexic. All women have hip bones, boney to me means gangly, next to no fat on the body, but also very little muscle as well. Boney also means to me unhealthy, which is never attractive. Also, you have a prominent collar bone and still be curvy. That's usually neither here nor there. There are slim women who don't have an easily visible collar bone.

In the end all that matters is what you think of yourself. Is that easier said than done? Sure in the beginning. You could start by reacting differently when people say something you don't like instead of internalizing it. Like if someone says he stop with the Mcdonals's, you say to yourself "that person does not define who I am."

And in my experience people who pick on or make fun of others really just feel like shit themselves and are projecting that emotional mess, it rarely has much to do with you, but their lives and their own experiences, and pain.

As for rolls, LOTS of men love that look. Seriously thin wasn't in until the 60s. The more meat you had on your bones since the dawn of time equated with availability of food, not beauty. One of the world's first sculptures was Venus, an extremely heavyset woman. Many cultures (India, Mexico, South America (except Brazil), Africa and others Covet a larger figure. They love it.

So yeah, eye of the beholder, but what really matters is your own opinion. You're a strong intelligent woman, you define you, no one else does unless you let em.

:-)

[xbittergracex]

this may be a little on the extreme side.....

but questions like this always remind me of the "N" word question white people always ask.

"Why can a black person say N*****, but I can't?"

I've heard this curvy question quite a few times and its always from a smaller or thinner girl.

If you've got curves your curvy...but it is a more flattering way to describe someone who is on the heavier side.

[xbittergracex]

Well that's kinda bad though too, I know it's your opinion but that's offensive to some people too. There's gotta be some dudes who like bony girls, yes? That's the same as saying, imo, Rolls = Bad!

See what I mean?

If it's rude to say "Rolls = Bad!" then why isn't it equally as rude to say "Bony = Bad!" Wasn't beauty supposed to be in the eye of the beholder?

It IS equally as rude to say bony = bad....however its all the intent behind it. Its one thing to say "I don't find heavier women attractive" and quite another to say "I hate fat chicks." Its derogatory and offensive, IMO.

[TygerLili]

Mehhh...how full figured are you talking here? 'Cause you'd have to be fairly full figured to not have any bones jutting out, even at 200 I could feel my hip bones prominantely.

At 170 right now I can feel all my rib cage easily, shoulder bones, and hips quite prominately, and I'm a good 40 lbs heavier than I was.

Actually, furthermore, when I was thin you couldn't feel the bones any less really than you can now.

I do see your point though I guess, that makes it make a little more sense.

I dunno, I just think I have a little bit of pissedness because when I got down to my healthy weight (135) people were telling me I needed to eat and gain weight, which obviously made me furious. I mean here I was, totally fucking sassy and feeling better about myself than I'd EVER felt before...and people were saying I was ugly? Wtf. The funny part is I go both ways, when I get down to 135 half of my friends say "shit, you're too thin now" and now that I'm 170 I have the opposite half saying "Damn girl, you've got to cut out that fast food shit". So I'm pissed AND confused .

That's the last thing you tell a girl who just dropped 70 lbs is that she's "too skinny" and needs to eat. That's probably why I have such a personal vendetta against the term "curvy" being used generally for bigger women - all of us girls who are curvy should be called curvy, not just big gals!

Cher...You're never going to please everyone, because everyone has a different perception of what's attractive. I had people telling me that I was too thin and to heavy when I weighed 155 lbs. I said "Thank you" in my most obviously artificial sweet voice. What else can you do? If you're healthy, and you like the way you look, then who cares what anyone else thinks. I know you've said that you want to lose weight and kudos to you for knowing what you want. I think you look fine either way, but again, you shouldn't care what I think.

To answer the question, I think of a "curvy" woman as one who has a nice shape, is not entirely flat chested, and has a reasonable amount of difference between her waist and hip measurements. It doesn't matter if she's a size 6, or a size 16. I would say curvy is a compliment, not a way to call someone "fat".