Weird Saying I've Wondered About A Long Time

[Oh_My_Goth]

It is a polite way to call somebody fat.....

I stick by my answer.....

I love all the ladies though.....

So don't hate on Me for being brutally factual.

[Fierce Critter]

Very good post, interesting to read. I dunno, another reason I also did start this post is because when I was 200+ I actually got picked on less than I did when I was 135. I'm not making that up in the slightest. So I also thought that was interesting.

Here I was as a bigger person feeling like I was ugly and such and that people made fun of me...only to discover that when you're a skinny person it's worse. Especially, and this is from my personal experience, from other women. When I was bigger I was made fun of by mostly men and valley girls, when I was skinny I was always brutally made fun of by other women. If I heard another girl say "Looks like someone needs a sandwich" one more time I was going to choke her. Other women make fun of skinny girls relentlessly, that's why this entire topic interests me really, like the psychology of it.

I'm odd because I can wear two hats and have both experiences: Firstly, spending my life as 210 lbs then living at 135 lbs. I should write a book or something, it's been a real eye-opener for me. But for the record, if I were to count the sheer amount of teasing at 135 vs. teasing when I was 210, not who the teasing is coming from, I definately got made fun of at 135 much more.

I'm willing to bet that the teasing you got was from women who knew you both fat and skinny. Women are frequently catty bitches, and rather than be supportive or cheer on someone who has made a change they see as for the better, they tend to be jealous, envious, and unsupportive. They'd rather you put the weight back on so you won't be the "skinny one amongst us." You're a reminder of what they haven't done for themselves in the way of improvement. Even if they're skinny, your weight loss = personal success, and it may be they are not successful in some kind of life goal, such as earning a particular income, being married, having kids. Thus they have to cut you down to make themselves feel better. It's bullshit, but I see it all the time.

I'm sorry, but I'll never, ever buy that overall, society is crueler to skinny people than it is to fat people. Watch Conan O'Brien, listen to Howard Stern, look at TV shows. Fat = fair game. When is the last time you saw a show called "Biggest Gainer!" featuring skinny people who are competing to see who can gain the most weight?

[SuZQZ]

This may sound odd, but I'm for 100% serious about the question. Why is it girls who have a little more cushion on them are called "curvy" as opposed to women who are skinny.

It is a polite way to call somebody fat.....

I am skinny. There. I've stated it. No one would ever call or consider me "curvy". I have almost non-existent breasts, a flat bum, etc. I am straight, like a plank. Quite an image, I know. And yes, at my lowest weight people said some aweful things. "Are you going to eat this month?", "You're full? What did you eat, a grain of rice?", etc. I think the worse was, "Are you going for that heroine-sheek look?" (That was a boyfriend at the time). This is just the way I'm built. It's their problem, not mine. I'm happy with me at 104 or 118 or whatever weight I land at. I'm healthy and that's what matters.

I agree with FC on Rubenesque being used as another way of saying overweight, but I always thought "curvy" was a compliment and not having anything to do with weight. To me, if someone is said to be curvy, it implies definite breast, hips and tush. A "feminine" silhouette. Perhaps an hour glass type figure, whether a size 2 or size 22. Maybe I've misunderstood the use of the word because so many in this thread have commented to that affect. For the record, I prefer "slender" to "skinny".

[Fierce Critter]

Here are some examples of:

Boney:

Fat:

Curvy:

[Troy Spiral (13)]

Referring to "overweight" in this forum is similar to mentioning "god" in the Politics/Religion forum. Reason / civility seem to be difficult to maintain. Basically for the same reasons here as there. People get emotional about the subject and sometimes have trouble maintaining calm , even if things were just meant as a questions, or jokes or whatever.

Anyhow as its normally used i think "curvy" really does tend to mean "fat". But, it doesn't necessarily need to be. The really uber-thin runway models of today are not "curvy" in the way that the pinups of say the 30s and 40s and movie stars of the 40s and 50s were. None of those women were "fat" they just were not "skinny". I guess "well proportioned" Is what I'd call the idea they seemed to go for in those days. I find that figure more attractive than the runway twigs-who i also find attractive, just not as much. . "curvy" in this sense is fairly rare among truly "skinny" girls.

Most of that for me is irrelevant though. If i find someone that i like, generally all i need is to find them "attractive" and that part is the easy part. The personality is the hard part.

[xbittergracex]

Referring to "overweight" in this forum is similar to mentioning "god" in the Politics/Religion forum. Reason / civility seem to be difficult to maintain. Basically for the same reasons here as there. People get emotional about the subject and sometimes have trouble maintaining calm , even if things were just meant as a questions, or jokes or whatever.

Anyhow as its normally used i think "curvy" really does tend to mean "fat". But, it doesn't necessarily need to be. The really uber-thin runway models of today are not "curvy" in the way that the pinups of say the 30s and 40s and movie stars of the 40s and 50s were. None of those women were "fat" they just were not "skinny". I guess "well proportioned" Is what I'd call the idea they seemed to go for in those days. I find that figure more attractive than the runway twigs-who i also find attractive, just not as much. . "curvy" in this sense is fairly rare among truly "skinny" girls.

Most of that for me is irrelevant though. If i find someone that i like, generally all i need is to find them "attractive" and that part is the easy part. The personality is the hard part.

I'm impressed to see this answer coming from a guy.

Well said....

[JaneDead]

Very good post, interesting to read. I dunno, another reason I also did start this post is because when I was 200+ I actually got picked on less than I did when I was 135. I'm not making that up in the slightest. So I also thought that was interesting.

i too got picked on ALL THE TIME when i was thin. i was 98 pounds and was by no means anorexic or anything. i was just honestly, naturally, that thin.

then when i gained some weight (was about 125-135 pounds) i got told i "looked better" because i had "curves" and "some meat on my bones". then when i was overweight after having my kids no one said ANYTHING because the truth was: i was fat. and no one wants to tell you that even when i said it of myself everyone else just said "oh no. you are fine. you look fine." fine was a nice way for them to say "you could stand to lose 20 pounds".

well... then i did lose 25-30 pounds and now what do i hear ALL the time? "wow! you lost weight! you look great!" and i have even been called skinny by quite a few people. i don't feel skinny but whatever...

not that this has to do with "curvy" but it addresses what you said about being picked on thin because the same thing happened to me all the time but never when i was overweight. at least not to my face.

[amalthea23]

I think those photos illustrated the point pretty well. And even "curvy" women aren't necessarily happy about it. I'm Jessica Rabbit shaped. Narrow waist, big boobs, but I'd much rather be a waif. That's just my personal preference, even though I know it's genetically impossible.

[bean]

When I was at my thinnest, I still had big boobs and a big ass for my size, I hated it, because I wanted to be bony and not curvy. People called me curvy then as a compliment.

People call my curvy now to say, in a nice way, that I'm fat. So the meaning of it really depends on the woman's shape and all that, and it can be a compliment or an insult.

To add frustration, people that haven't seen me in a long time will comment that I've lost a lot of weight and then proceed to ask me if I'm starving myself. WTF??? Apparently I'm just wasting away over here even though I have a ton more weight to lose. Fuck. off.

[Oh_My_Goth]

When I was at my thinnest, I still had big boobs and a big ass for my size, I hated it, because I wanted to be bony and not curvy. People called me curvy then as a compliment.

People call my curvy now to say, in a nice way, that I'm fat. So the meaning of it really depends on the woman's shape and all that, and it can be a compliment or an insult.

To add frustration, people that haven't seen me in a long time will comment that I've lost a lot of weight and then proceed to ask me if I'm starving myself. WTF??? Apparently I'm just wasting away over here even though I have a ton more weight to lose. Fuck. off.

Best answer!!!!!

[TygerLili]

When I was at my thinnest, I still had big boobs and a big ass for my size, I hated it, because I wanted to be bony and not curvy. People called me curvy then as a compliment.

People call my curvy now to say, in a nice way, that I'm fat. So the meaning of it really depends on the woman's shape and all that, and it can be a compliment or an insult.

To add frustration, people that haven't seen me in a long time will comment that I've lost a lot of weight and then proceed to ask me if I'm starving myself. WTF??? Apparently I'm just wasting away over here even though I have a ton more weight to lose. Fuck. off.

Good answer! Although:

1. You're not fat!

2. Most truly fat people are not "curvy" at all, they're just big with no real definition.

I think some people use curvy to mean overweight, while others just use it to mean you've got a lot of curves. I've had people call me "curvy" when I was at my heaviest (size 16 or 18) and I'm sure some of them meant it as a tactful way to say I was overweight, and I've had people call me "curvy" when I was at my thinnest (size 8 or 10) also. I was curvy, both ways. I had big boobs and a big ass and a much smaller waist. I never took it as an insult. Big or big-boned was an insult.

When I think "curvy" Marilyn Monroe comes to mind. She wasn't fat or skinny, she was a size 12, and most men of the time thought she had a great body.

[Gaf The Horse With Tears]

So Curvy is... medium?

BTW... I don't know why so many people give Kirstie Alley shit for being her size... I've never seen a pic of her that did not give me dirty thoughts.

[hunhee]

Honestly I hate these terms all together.. "Curvy", "Rubenesque", "Pleasantly Plump" (I consider them polite ways of telling someone they need to lose a few pounds). Bah! I would prefer someone to call me fat, (as I say, a spade is a spade).

Now what I really dislike is when you're dating someone you KNOW really likes the "skinny" chicks.. and has dated that type in the past, to actually BELIEVE that they find you "attractive". Especially when they tell you that you're not "fat" that you're "pleasantly plump".. *rolls eyes* But then again, it really has to deal with one's own personal self-esteem issues (which I deal with on a daily basis, and am working more positively on).

I've found tho, that there are guys who love the skinny chicks, and there are guys who absolutely love the more curvy chicks, and really it comes down to how someone carries themselves.

I've tried this. I used to have a really REALLY hard time making eye contact, and didn't really care about the way I dressed, and I wasn't proud of my body (so i wore baggy clothes), and I carried myself that way. People can sense this, and they can tell you're uncomfortable in your own skin, and they tend not to find that person attractive (skinny or fat).

NOW I've also tried to stand more confidently, wear more revealing/fitting clothes (more tailored), and smile and make eye contact, and actually comb my hair and put a tad bit more makeup on than the usual (nothing), and people do notice.

I can tell you that not a day goes by that I don't get some kind of "double take" from some random guy if not the stupid hit on lines.. and it really has nothing to do with the 10-15 lbs that I've lost (recently), it has everything to do with the way *I* see myself, and how much *I* think that I'm projecting confidence on a particular given day.

Positive outlook springs positive results..

[Gaf The Horse With Tears]

Now what I really dislike is when you're dating someone you KNOW really likes the "skinny" chicks.. and has dated that type in the past, to actually BELIEVE that they find you "attractive". Especially when they tell you that you're not "fat" that you're "pleasantly plump".. *rolls eyes* But then again, it really has to deal with one's own personal self-esteem issues (which I deal with on a daily basis, and am working more positively on).

Um... How do you know what they prefer? Buy past dating preferances? When I was dating... I dated a girl that was 4' 10" and weighed around 85 pounds. I also dated a girl that was 5'5" and weighed around 230. Everyone else fell somewhere inbetween there...

So tell me, what do I prefer?

[hunhee]

Um... How do you know what they prefer? Buy past dating preferances? When I was dating... I dated a girl that was 4' 10" and weighed around 85 pounds. I also dated a girl that was 5'5" and weighed around 230. Everyone else fell somewhere inbetween there...

So tell me, what do I prefer?

Some people have more of a defined "type"..

When I think about what I personally am attracted to, I could tell you a "type". Doesn't mean everyone fits into that "type" that I've gone out with (OK like I really haven't dated that many people). My ex wasn't at all what most of my girlfriends would have thought that I would be interested in, but it was the package that I was more inclined toward.. besides we WERE together 12 years, has to say something right?

[Destroit]

To add frustration, people that haven't seen me in a long time will comment that I've lost a lot of weight and then proceed to ask me if I'm starving myself. WTF??? Apparently I'm just wasting away over here even though I have a ton more weight to lose. Fuck. off.

[littlepinkkitty]

I have always been slender and petite. I weighy maybe 110 now. And i love how i look. I feel good about myself. If i put on weight it goes to my boobs ar butt and no where else. people were cruel to me when i was younger. I have been called anorexic and bulimic. Someone once thought i was a cancer patient in high school. i weighed like 92 pounds. Becuase i was made fun of for my size i dont make fun of people. I know how it feels. My hip bones used to stick out really bad. People would come up and grab them and laugh at me and say how unnatural that was. Also because my srma are so thin people would always put their hands around my wrists and tell me there is something wrong with me. I would cry. Those people tore me down. I had friends with eating disorders and no one knew they had them but they all were sure i did.

Here is what i think.... Health is what is important. I think you can look good petite and also be hot and be thicker. I think it is how we carry ourselves also. I dont let people make me feel bad anymore. Confidence is intimidating. A person can have many looks and be confident. For me personality is way more important then looks. My friends are all so different then me and i love that.

Also I have had other girls not want to be my friend because they say i am perfect and make them feel bad about themselves because i make myself look too good. That bothers me because some people want you to feel as bad as they do. I always ask why looks matter in a friendship. I am not complaining about being attractive i just dont like when people think i am a shallow dumb blonde who has to be the center of attention. Thats not me at all. I am a nice person. I am also on the Dean's list at school. And i have become proud of me.I wish people could just get past appearences and realize that most of have more in common then we think....no matter how different we look from eachother.

[Msterbeau]

I have always been slender and petite. I weighy maybe 110 now. And i love how i look. I feel good about myself. If i put on weight it goes to my boobs ar butt and no where else. people were cruel to me when i was younger. I have been called anorexic and bulimic. Someone once thought i was a cancer patient in high school. i weighed like 92 pounds. Becuase i was made fun of for my size i dont make fun of people. I know how it feels. My hip bones used to stick out really bad. People would come up and grab them and laugh at me and say how unnatural that was. Also because my srma are so thin people would always put their hands around my wrists and tell me there is something wrong with me. I would cry. Those people tore me down. I had friends with eating disorders and no one knew they had them but they all were sure i did.

Here is what i think.... Health is what is important. I think you can look good petite and also be hot and be thicker. I think it is how we carry ourselves also. I dont let people make me feel bad anymore. Confidence is intimidating. A person can have many looks and be confident. For me personality is way more important then looks. My friends are all so different then me and i love that.

Also I have had other girls not want to be my friend because they say i am perfect and make them feel bad about themselves because i make myself look too good. That bothers me because some people want you to feel as bad as they do. I always ask why looks matter in a friendship. I am not complaining about being attractive i just dont like when people think i am a shallow dumb blonde who has to be the center of attention. Thats not me at all. I am a nice person. I am also on the Dean's list at school. And i have become proud of me.I wish people could just get past appearences and realize that most of have more in common then we think....no matter how different we look from eachother.

:clap:

[pomba gira]

This may sound odd, but I'm for 100% serious about the question. Why is it girls who have a little more cushion on them are called "curvy" as opposed to women who are skinny.

This only confuses me because from what I've noticed skinny women have curves, not only do they have curves but they're usually quite prominant. That's why it never made sense to me really.

I always figured that curves should depend on your bone structure, not weight. Believe it or not the term makes a lot of skinny girls feel like shit (which is starting to be society's goal from what I've noticed), that's why I'm wondering how that ever came about.

I'm also not saying that girls with weight on them shouldn't have compliment-type sayings about them, but to me I never understood why they'd use the term "curvy", since all women are supposed to be curvy not just overweight girls.

We've got curves too! I'm damn shapely, none of my bigger friends have curves like me (at least not in proportion), so that's why I've always wondered why that term is usually applied to girls who have a little extra on their body.

Enlighten me, 'cause I've seriously wondered about this for years , even when I was bigger myself.

I usually say "extra curvy"... but anyway the idea is that we are curvy all over in the classical, pre-1960s style, as opposed to the current magazine standard where breasts provide the only actual curves on a woman's body, and the hip/waist curve has to be simulated with photography tricks. The idea is not to make anyone feel bad, but rather to semantically celebrate the natural beauty of a softly rounded, classically feminine shape. No different from saying "willowy" to describe a naturally (as opposed to achieved by starving oneself) slender shape in the classic gamine/sylph style. With that body type, the slenderness is the first thing you notice, so we use a suitable descriptive term. Same with "curvy"... with a cushy body, the curves are much more pronounced and all-over, so that's the first visual impression one gets... so that's how we describe it.

and... HunHee... why would this putative person be dating someone they didn't find attractive? One thing I've learned in "the lifestyle", people can appreciate and enjoy a wide range of "types". Even if someone tends to find one "type" especially pleasing, they can still find other "types" desirable and beautiful... their "preferred type" just adds that little bit more initial excitement.

[predaking]

from what ive read so far alot of the answers seem over done or over simplified. I dont think "curvy" has anything to do with lbs but the distribution of the goods. I've seen big girls with curves and not so big girls with curves. Sense skinny girls lack said goods there is nothing to distribute hence no curves, and you are left with the Hollywood induced VERY UN-SEXY 2X4 look

[Destroit]

from what ive read so far alot of the answers seem over done or over simplified. I dont think "curvy" has anything to do with lbs but the distribution of the goods. I've seen big girls with curves and not so big girls with curves. Sense skinny girls lack said goods there is nothing to distribute hence no curves, and you are left with the Hollywood induced VERY UN-SEXY 2X4 look

Well...obviously someone thinks it's sexy someplace or it wouldn't be in every movie, commerical, tv show, magazine, billboard, and runway. I'm just sayin', since skinny is what I'm aiming for, personally. The only thing that happened to my ass and tits when I was skinny is that they were more pronounced, actually. I wouldn't say that skinny girls lack goods, as a matter of fact that was one of the reasons behind the thread.

There's a difference between skinny and anhorrexic, keep in mind.

[Msterbeau]

There's a difference between skinny and anhorrexic, keep in mind.

Also differences in the underlying bone structure, which obviously influences the muscle/fat/skin placement.

[Destroit]

Also differences in the underlying bone structure, which obviously influences the muscle/fat/skin placement.

Very true. Which I why I think curvy has to do with bone structure more than fat, imo.

[Msterbeau]

Very true. Which I why I think curvy has to do with bone structure more than fat, imo.

Yes and no. The less extra "padding" a person has, the more the underlying bone structure is going to be visible or otherwise influence the overall shape. It's really a relationship between the two that determines the difference between straight, curvy or or someone that's overweight enough to have little defined shape in the round direction. (Sorry if anyone's offended by that description, but that's as neutral as I can make it)

I think it's safe to say that to be "Curvy" there needs to be curves, and therefore a significant variation in the hip, waist and chest measurements.

[Destroit]

Yes and no. The less extra "padding" a person has, the more the underlying bone structure is going to be visible or otherwise influence the overall shape. It's really a relationship between the two that determines the difference between straight, curvy or or someone that's overweight enough to have little defined shape in the round direction. (Sorry if anyone's offended by that description, but that's as neutral as I can make it)

I think it's safe to say that to be "Curvy" there needs to be curves, and therefore a significant variation in the hip, waist and chest measurements.

Oh right right. I get what you mean, and it's true. Like a heavy girl will be kinda shapeless if she doesn't have the underlying bones to make the padding stick out where it should...? Or a thinner girl will look more boyish if she doesn't have bones that give her much for hips?