The Corrupted Wish Game

[Burrich1]

Nothing new to online communities, but I haven’t seen it here. Personally, I think the replies here will be especially interesting.

The rules are simple. Make a wish. The next person will grant it, only with an additional unforeseen outcome. Extra points for creativity. Then make your own wish.

I shall start.

I wish I were independently wealthy and didn't have to work.

*edited to add the make your own wish part*

Edited April 10, 2008 by Burrich1

[Fierce Critter]

Congratulations - you've just been in a horrible automobile accident! You won a HUMONGOUS settlement from the manufacturer due to their faulty break mechanisms. You have Eleventy-Billion-Dollars in your bank account! Enough to buy you a whole garage full of breath-operated wheelchairs necessary for your quadraplegic ass to get around! Aren't you glad you're rich enough that you don't have to work?!?!!?

************

I wish that I could fly!

[creatureofthenyte]

Congradulations!! you just contracted the world's worst case of the runs! But don't worry, after you finally get done pooping your guts out, you will be so full of energy, that you will be able to fly by just flapping your arms really fast.

I wish I could make my goals happen a helluva lot faster.

Edited April 10, 2008 by creatureofthenyte

[Msterbeau]

Granted. They now happen so fast you get no satisfaction out of reaching them

I wish I had better luck.

Edited April 10, 2008 by Msterbeau

[creatureofthenyte]

Congradulations!!! You just got thrown under the bus....litterally....

But, take comfort in the fact that your luck will improve tommorow when you win the lottery for a gagillion dollars and get your oil changed by a reallly hot chick!

I wish AIDS would permanently disappear forever.

Edited April 10, 2008 by creatureofthenyte

[Burrich1]

Granted!!

A cure has been found!!! It's super cheap, all the world governments get involved, and within only a year, everyone with this horrible disease has been cured!!!! In fact, everyone who has been cured develops a super immune system, which allows them to survive the next horrendous retrovirus pandemic. This was caused by any form of contact with the former AIDS patients, and strikes the entire human population within the next two years. Everyone in existence, except for those who formerly had AIDS, die a horribly painful lingering death.

I wish gas prices weren't so high.

Edited April 10, 2008 by Burrich1

[Fierce Critter]

HEADLINE: Gas prices reached a new low of .08 cents a gallon today!

CAR DEALERSHIP CLASSIFIED AD: New on the lot! The newest in the Chevrolet Bargain Line! Only $142,367,987.08!!!!! (Financing available. $100,000,000.02 due at signing.)

****************

I wish I could control the weather.

[creatureofthenyte]

This just in: strange weather patterns have just developed, its snowing upside down and backwards

I wish I had something better to wish for

[Burrich1]

Granted!!!

You are stricken with a gignormous horrible tumor like zit on your nose. Well, the doctors can’t actually tell if it is on your nose or some other part of your face. It is just that big. In fact, they are deathly afraid if they pop it, parts of your brain may also leak out.

I wish I had something sweet to eat right now.

[Oh_My_Goth]

Viola'

Your Giant ooey gooey brownie sundae is served!!!!!

Too bad it was infected with Ebola!!!!!!!

I wish I had something better to do.....

[Bernadette]

You're in LUCK!!!

Mt. Everest has just reported an overnite miraculous transformation to the highest peak of HOT FUDGE sundae!!! The task is, you have to eat and climb your way to the summit to get the whip cream and cherry! You are so lucky that you can request as many sherpas and that you think you will need to help you on your trek. Hope it doesn't melt before you get to the top!

I wish I could run the world.

Edited April 10, 2008 by Bernadette

[Rev.Reverence]

Not only did you win an Emmy a Grammy and the Nobel peace prize, but they decided to put YOU in charge of EARTH...

EMPRESS BERNADETTE...

Bad news, it's 2012, on Christmas day aliens from Sirius invade Earth, enslaving millions and exterminating the rest of us...

I wish I had Buddha's wisdom...

(edit spelling)

Edited April 10, 2008 by Rev.Reverence

[Burrich1]

Granted!!

You are given all of Buddha’s wisdom. In the process you are transformed into a Buddharupa, and cannot move or communicate with the outside world. Your Significant Other searches for you for a reasonable period of time, before giving up all hope and donating all your possessions to charity, which are sold on ebay.

A yuppie comes across you, and purchases you to give his sitting room that New Age look his decorator's been going for. Your stomach is occasionally rubbed by him for good luck. This is when you realize only you can hear your own screams.

I wish I could play a musical instrument with the skill of a master.

Edited April 10, 2008 by Burrich1

[Fierce Critter]

I wish I could play a musical instrument with the skill of a master.

Here's your Stradivarius violin!

Unfortunately, the "Master" is Master Po from Kung Fu. You put your violin across two bricks and "HI-YAAAH!" chop it into a billion splinters.

************

I wish I had longer, thicker hair.

[EAF (1)]

Congratulations you have longer thicker hair, but it's so long you always trip over it and get tangled within your own locks, it's so thick you can't cut it, it won't stop growing, and it's heavy as hell...trapping you in a quiet solitude inside until your crushed from the pressure of your own hair without even being able to utter a single scream since you long ago sufficated yourself with your new hair...

I wish I could find someone to love me.

[Fierce Critter]

Congratulations you have longer thicker hair, but it's so long you always trip over it and get tangled within your own locks, it's so thick you can't cut it, it won't stop growing, and it's heavy as hell...trapping you in a quiet solitude inside until your crushed from the pressure of your own hair without even being able to utter a single scream since you long ago sufficated yourself with your new hair...

LOL! Very good!

I wish I could find someone to love me.

"I have an engagement ring for you... here... somewhere..."

*******************

I wish the doorways into this house weren't too small for us to get our new bed in here.

[EAF (1)]

roflmao XD

*poof* your doorways are now big enough for the bed to fit through, however...now you seem to be missing a few walls...well more like half a house due to a freak crane accident from the construction site across the street...and your insurance doesn't cover crane damage...

I wish I could bring myself to finish this damn paper XD

Edited April 10, 2008 by EAF

[Pandora]

roflmao XD

*poof* your doorways are now big enough for the bed to fit through, however...now you seem to be missing a few walls...well more like half a house due to a freak crane accident from the construction site across the street...and your insurance doesn't cover crane damage...

I wish I could bring myself to finish this damn paper XD

Granted!

Congratulations you've written such a beautiful paper that your professor has completely fallen in love with you, left his wife and is now you're very own personal stalker! You now lock all your doors and windows and will soon suffocate in the summer heat inside your house since you had to take the window air conditioner unit out to prevent said stalker professor from entering your house in the middle of the night and sucking on your toes while reciting the Bill of Rights, in Pig Latin. You are now unable to leave your house and your college/social/CC hopping life is in the toilet!

I wish I was wasn't allergic to cats.

[EAF (1)]

*tada*

You are no longer allergic to cats...now however you are allergic to absolutly everything else. The medication you were taking caused your whole immune system to concentrate soley on your cat allergy so much that it cannot handle any other sort of germ, bacteria, or cell therefore you are allergic to even yourself now. But don't worry there is not much sneezing and coughing only the occasional blindness factor and the constant feeling that your eyes are bleeding and your skin is falling off...because it is. And that's not including the side effects of your current medication which is not only not helping your circumstance but has also produced an internally trapped siamese twin who will play as a parasidic menace for the rest of your life causing you pain and sickness wherever you go...congratulations...

I wish I was more flirty.

[Angel of Death]

Granted!

Congratulations you've written such a beautiful paper that your professor has completely fallen in love with you, left his wife and is now you're very own personal stalker! You now lock all your doors and windows and will soon suffocate in the summer heat inside your house since you had to take the window air conditioner unit out to prevent said stalker professor from entering your house in the middle of the night and sucking on your toes while reciting the Bill of Rights, in Pig Latin. You are now unable to leave your house and your college/social/CC hopping life is in the toilet!

I wish I was wasn't allergic to cats.

Granted

You found this great medication that you only have to take once and your allergies for felines is completely gone!!!

Too bad 3 yrs later they discovered there was something wrong with the product that caused people to have violent seizures and many of the users now have a very weak immune system and bad hearts...they all died within 5 yrs of using the allergy medication

I wish my bf would lose his fuckin attitude....

[Angel of Death]

*tada*

You are no longer allergic to cats...now however you are allergic to absolutly everything else. The medication you were taking caused your whole immune system to concentrate soley on your cat allergy so much that it cannot handle any other sort of germ, bacteria, or cell therefore you are allergic to even yourself now. But don't worry there is not much sneezing and coughing only the occasional blindness factor and the constant feeling that your eyes are bleeding and your skin is falling off...because it is. And that's not including the side effects of your current medication which is not only not helping your circumstance but has also produced an internally trapped siamese twin who will play as a parasidic menace for the rest of your life causing you pain and sickness wherever you go...congratulations...

I wish I was more flirty.

dam she beat me...

*poof*

Your out at the club barely dressed and a wave of self confidence washed over you and you decided to be a lil more flirtatious. You found the perfect guy that night...or so you thought till a week later when you found out you were not only pregnant but you had genital warts as well...

[Fierce Critter]

I wish my bf would lose his fuckin attitude....

Wow. Your boyfriend suddenly becomes sweet as candy. Gives you flowers. Gives you candy. Gets you clothing, toys, shoes, etc. The sudden rain of gifts has you overwhelmed. He never argues with you anymore, gives you head-to-toe massages EVERY night. Cooks you dinner. Runs your bath and puts rose petals in the water.

Then you go to have sex. And what you see you've only seen before on a Ken doll.

**************

I wish I could wiggle my nose and make my entire house clean and spotless.

[phee]

I wish I could wiggle my nose and make my entire house clean and spotless.

It works but only after you are molested by Mr. Clean in your bathroom.

--------------

I wish I had a pony....

[Gaf The Horse With Tears]

*Poof*

By some twist of Fate CERN new particale accelorator is randomly swapping people in time... Seems you and your Horde breathren are leading the charge into the battle.

I wish I knew everything.

[Fierce Critter]

I wish I knew everything.

Wow. What a wise man! You are the cup that runneth over with all there is to know about everything! I'm sorry that with ominpotent knowledge comes unsurpassable grief, fear, and loathing for all around you. Seems a little ignorance of the world's evils can bring some solace. I'll bring you a nice teddy bear to hug when I visit you in the asylum next month.

*****************

I wish the 1988 Cavalier Z24 convertible parked on the slab out back would miraculously restore itself so I can go cruising in it before the summer is over.