The Corrupted Wish Game

[Burrich1]

Granted!!! Nanoprobes from the future, lost during an experimental time travel study, somehow ended up in your own back yard yesterday. Since this wasn't the year 2245 (where they were suppose to arrive to repair a fusion reactor that went a little haywire, creating all sorts of problems) they instead latched onto the nearest piece of machinery and began repairing it, which was your z24. The next morning, all magically all shiny and new looking. Unfortunately for you, they made a few upgrades to it, including a posatronic brain. Your car now has a personality similar to Tara Reid's. It's too bad congress passed an equal rights for artificial intelligence law in 2240. Your car quickly realizes she hates you almost as much as you hate her, and quickly takes off to try to hook up with the first sportster that drives by.

I wish I had the time and money to "thru hike" the Appalachian Trail.

[Rev.Reverence]

.

I wish I had the time and money to "thru hike" the Appalachian Trail.

Granted...

...Di, Di, di, di, Di, di, di, di, Diiiii...... <-----(Banjos my friend.)

(Insert 'DELIVERANCE' joke here.)

I wish David Bowie was my uncle...

[Fierce Critter]

I wish David Bowie was my uncle...

Long lost city clerk documents proved today that your biological uncle is David Bowie!

And your aunt is Mick Jagger...

*****************

I wish I could find homes for all the stray cats & dogs in the world.

[~Tszura~]

Granted!

All of the stray cats and dogs of the world have now found good homes. Unfortunately, there were so many, that it literally meant having at least one cat/dog in each household…..which is EXACTLY what they wanted! On day three of the mass adoption, all the stray cats and dogs rise up and unite, turning the tables on humans using their bad breath and mind control. (Hmmmmm, I suddenly feel like drinking milk, and eating some tuna.)

I wish I were a master craftswoman.

[creatureofthenyte]

Congradulations! You are now the Jill of all trades! But now that you can do so much, you now have to build 300 houses all by yourself in 300 days, good luck yer gonna need it.

I wish all bad weather would go away forever.

[Burrich1]

Wish granted!!! Earth's atmosphere is completely stripped away leaving our wonderful green and blue planet looking similar to the moon. This was a wonderfully easy and simple way to regulate the weather on the planet, but not too good for all life as we know it.

I wish popcorn kernels didn't get stuck between my teeth and gums every time I ate it.

[Fierce Critter]

I wish popcorn kernels didn't get stuck between my teeth and gums every time I ate it.

All your teeth just fell out!!! Problem solved!!!

I wish I could fall asleep in 18 seconds like my husband.

[Pandora]

All your teeth just fell out!!! Problem solved!!!

I wish I could fall asleep in 18 seconds like my husband.

Granted!

You just fell asleep for a nap in the middle of the day, causing you to miss the knock on the door 10 seconds later from the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes! You won 1 million dollars but because you weren't awake to answer the door they're giving it away to the little old lady next door. Hope you had a great nap!

I wish I was done with my Bachelors, Masters and Ph.D.

[~Tszura~]

Granted!

You just received your Bachelors in English, your Masters in Contemporary Literature, and your Ph.D in English history with a focus on 18th century European texts. The world is at your fingertips!! On your way up to the podium, however, to accept your awards, you wave to all of your family and friends, not seeing the crinkle in the carpet. You trip, hitting your head on an empty chair. Ouch! You wake up with a crowd of people around you. “What happened? Who are they? What am I doing here? Who am I?” You now have complete amnesia, and don’t remember anything! Oh, and your memory lasts for only 5 seconds. What? I said your memory lasts for only…….

I wish I could live on the moon.

[phee]

I wish I could live on the moon.

You fall in love with some one with a really large ass as the apocolypse occures... you are both trapped with no food for days.... eventually and sadly you are forced to eat his butt for survival... hence living on the moon...

I wish I had more energy

[Pandora]

You fall in love with some one with a really large ass as the apocolypse occures... you are both trapped with no food for days.... eventually and sadly you are forced to eat his butt for survival... hence living on the moon...

I wish I had more energy

ROFLMAO, that's not right!

Granted, you now have so much energy that you are unable to sit or stand, Ever, thus making it impossible to pee indoors. While running around outside peeing one day a squirrel decides to join in the fun, runs up your leg and bites you where it'll Really Hurt. Doesn't really matter since you couldn't lie still enough to have sex (Sorry Rayne!), but now you'll be peeing skyward, and all over yourself for the rest of your natural high energy life.

I wish Bush 2 never became president.

[Kit Kat P]

Granted!

In sick twist of history Kim Jung Il took over the states and turned all americans into his extended work force.

I wish the weekends lasted longer.

[phee]

Granted

You awake to find yourself on planet Venus where a day takes takes 243 Earth days... so amidts the temperatures that are hot enough to boil lead (930 degrees Fahrenhiet) you enjoy a weekend of 486 days in length as your skin boils off.

I wish I didn't have a flat tire.

[Msterbeau]

Granted. But now you have two, and no spare. In the middle of the Sahara.

I wish I didn't have so many bad financial surprises.

[phee]

Granted. But now you have two, and no spare. In the middle of the Sahara.

I wish I didn't have so many bad financial surprises.

Granted...

The world shifts back to a Fijian barter system and you are not suprised to find that you only have two chickens and some pottery to trade in order to eat for a week.

I wish I may I wish I might...

[Burrich1]

Hrmmmmmm..... oh!!! Granted!! For the entire month of May, this year, and every year, you will have the strength of 12 men. People will marvel at you and your physique. Women (and some men) will swoon in your presence. You will be lifting up cars for people to change their flats. Your Gym will have to special order a new dumbbell to fit all the weight on it you can lift. Your mental abilities will also be superior. You will discuss quantum physics with Stephen Hawking, and pick up on Relativity where Einstein left off....

For the rest of the year, you will be a drooling vegetable, unable to move, and barely able to breath under your own will. You will require 24 hour nursing care. A special nurse will even have to come over once a day to manually remove the feces from your ass.

I wish I had some artistic ability in painting...

[creatureofthenyte]

Granted! you now can paint anything you want, better then Picasso ever could. Too bad the only thing you can paint well is naked chicks with sweet asses and big tatas.

I wish I could sit on a bed without losing circulation in my foot.

[Fierce Critter]

I wish I could sit on a bed without losing circulation in my foot.

Suddenly, a pack of wild pomeranians breaks into COTN's house, attack him, and gnaw off BOTH his feet from ankle down.

*************

I wish I didn't need to take any of my prescription meds.

[~Tszura~]

Granted!

You’re cured!! Now that your body has nothing to combat, however, each of your organs and systems are working on overdrive. Chaos in your body ensues, and like an orchestra at the pinnacle of its arrangement, your body tenses up with extreme energy, and then you die due to the inner explosion. Sorry!

I wish I was a metalsmith.

[Msterbeau]

Granted. But you are transported back to the medieval era where you quickly die of tooth decay and dysentery.

I wish for something to go my way for once.

[phee]

Granted

A pack of homless people molest you for once as you are stopped on your way to work, while going "your way"

I wish that I could use magic

[Burrich1]

Granted!!

You may now flourish your dapper black cape with red satin lining, remove, your top hat, and shake it upside down to prove there is nothing in it. Next, you flip it over, reach your hand in, and UNLEASH ON THE WORLD THE MOST FOUL, CRUEL, AND BAD TEMPERED KILLER BUNNY FROM MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL. AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRG!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRG!!!!!!!

(run away.... run away... run away...)

I wish my brother didn't live in Louisiana.

Edited April 12, 2008 by Burrich1

[JaneDead]

I wish my brother didn't live in Louisiana.

while your brother was visiting you over a nice, family weekend vacation.... louisiana was wiped out by a new super hurricane/tornado/earthquake phenomenon due to global warming.

since his pregnant wife, her mother, their 8 kids and 17 pets have no where to go; they decide to stay with you. forever. careful what you wish for.

i wish i never had to deal with stupid people again.

[creatureofthenyte]

granted! all stupid people are now banished to planet Mars, but now the Earth is sparsely populated.

I wish for an endless supply of wishes.

[Burrich1]

Granted!!

Unfortunately, by wishing for more wishes, you are violation the most basic law of wish making. The short of this is your wishes have minimal wish making power and potential. This is exponentially correlated to the number of wishes you wished for. (I bet you wished you wished for something else now) Since you basically wished for infinite wishes, and the strength of each individual wish is practically nonexistent, each of your wishes has the wish making energy of granting you either a leaking ink pen or some gum in your hair.

I wish my boss was not as dumb as toast.