The Corrupted Wish Game

[Burrich1]

I wish I could work from home.

Granted!!

You now do all your photo work and 'puter work from home. You no longer have any need to leave the house 5 days a week, get in your new black sporty (yet fuel saving) car, and cruise into work every day. Your clients all begin to come to you. You love your new relaxing life of setting your own hours, and get to see more of your kids because you're not tied up in traffic driving home from work. Life is good.

One of the younger hot sexy models you recently did a new portfolio for begins randomly showing up at your house. At first one or two times, you are quite flattered, but then you begin to become creeped out. She insists she's your soulmate. She doesn't like it when you photograph other people. She doesn't like it when you have weekends with your kids. She doesn't like it when you leave the room to use the bathroom. She senses your increasing reservations towards her. In her absolute panic, because she feels it's not working out in this lifetime, she kills you and makes a lampshade out of your flesh. Better luck next lifetime. Too bad she knew where you lived.

I wish my allergies did not make me so tired all the time.

Edited May 20, 2008 by Burrich1

[Guest GodfallenPromos]

Granted...instead of making you tired...your allergies are now so bad, they kill you

I wish I had David Bowies 90's fashion sense

Edited May 20, 2008 by GodfallenPromos

[littlepinkkitty]

Poof hazah your wardrobe has been revamped.

I wish i had fairy wings like tinkerbell.....

[anametamystik]

Poof hazah your wardrobe has been revamped.

I wish i had fairy wings like tinkerbell.....

Congrats... you now have cute, little wings. You're also 6" tall and swatted around regularly. If you do not think of your form continuously, you collapse into a ball of light.

******

Since I'm scheduled to perform a number of fire shows this summer, I wish for a new devilish look.

[Msterbeau]

Granted. You now look like Godzilla painted red.

I wish everyone was sexually satisfied. Maybe there'd be peace that way.

[anametamystik]

Granted. You now look like Godzilla painted red.

I wish everyone was sexually satisfied. Maybe there'd be peace that way.

Granted. You're so late that we who arrange things to happen ran out of attractive humans who have sold their souls to us for their great personal glory. Instead, you get it on with one hot succubus. You can visit your spawn in hell.

****

I wish for a small supercomputer.

[Msterbeau]

Granted. It will perform amazing calculations. If you can find it. It's the size of a speck of dust.

I wish for a blood bath.

[anametamystik]

Granted. It will perform amazing calculations. If you can find it. It's the size of a speck of dust.

I wish for a blood bath.

`

granted

As Combichrist "Today I woke to a rain of blood" reverberates the ballroom, you delightfully slip into a bathtub full of cow's blood on stage at City Club and start flinging blood everywhere. Due to your Elizabeth Bathory moment, numerous citations were forwarded to the Liquor Control Commission, which yanked the licenses for the Leland due to obscenity, indecency and health hazards.

*****

I want a Gorean pleasure slave (i.e. a kajira).

Edited May 20, 2008 by anametamystik

[anametamystik]

`

granted

As Combichrist "Today I woke to a rain of blood" reverberates the ballroom, you delightfully slip into a bathtub full of cow's blood on stage at City Club and start flinging blood everywhere. Due to your Elizabeth Bathory moment, numerous citations were forwarded to the Liquor Control Commission, which yanked the licenses for the Leland due to obscenity, indecency and health hazards.

*****

I want a Gorean pleasure slave (i.e. a kajira).

Granted, you now have a kajira. You're also on the fictional planet of Gor far, far away from Earth and realize that it's not all that it's cracked up to be.

*****

I want to be in another movie.

[Msterbeau]

Granted. You are now the star of Debbie Does Detroit V6 - The Goth Reality Files. No condoms are used. Everyone gets STD's and Aids. You all dies within a month.

I wish for more cheese.

[anametamystik]

Granted. You are now the star of Debbie Does Detroit V6 - The Goth Reality Files. No condoms are used. Everyone gets STD's and Aids. You all dies within a month.

I wish for more cheese.

An airliner carrying a 5 ton block of cheese breaks apart over your house. Guess where the chunks of cheddar land? Yep. Nothing grows back.

******

I wish for more chips to go with your cheese dip.

[Guest GodfallenPromos]

An airliner carrying a 5 ton block of cheese breaks apart over your house. Guess where the chunks of cheddar land? Yep. Nothing grows back.

******

I wish for more chips to go with your cheese dip.

a large cargo van carrying nachos rolls over next to the cheeze dip...killing you while you were waiting for said nachos

*******

I wish I could have met Edgar Degas....

[Burrich1]

Granted!!

The next time you are at City Club, you are introduced to Edgar Degas by our very own Msterbeau. Edgar is a short gentleman in is late thirties with a receding hairline and breath that always smells like 4 day stale onions. Unfortunately, Bishop just mixed him one of his brain erasers, and while giving him a firm handshake, he proceeds to projectile vomit all over you.

(What?? Did you mean Edgar Degas, one of the deceased founders of impressionism?)

I wish Robert Jordan finished his last Wheel of Time book before he died.

*****

I want a Gorean pleasure slave (i.e. a kajira).

Oh man, you cant grant your own wish, especially one that references John Norman. That would have been a cool one to do...

Edited May 21, 2008 by Burrich1

[creatureofthenyte]

I can't grant that wish man, the dude's dead !

I wish were even taller then I am

[Oh_My_Goth]

I can't grant that wish man, the dude's dead !

I wish were even taller then I am

GRANTED!!!!! *poof*

You grow so tall, so fast that your heart can no longer supply an efficient amount of blood to your body and you expire very rapidly!!!!!

I wish all the stupid people would go away!!!!!

Edited May 21, 2008 by Oh_My_Goth

[Bernadette]

Wish granted...

All stupid people are corralled to planet IDIOT. HOWEVER, this results in groupstupidthink -- they are pissed off that they were sent away, and all band together -- find one clever person mistakenly abducted that helps them find their way back to Earth. And, SHAZAAM, they take over Earth and instill even more stupidity.

I wish I wasn't afraid of heights.

[Oh_My_Goth]

Wish granted...

All stupid people are corralled to planet IDIOT. HOWEVER, this results in groupstupidthink -- they are pissed off that they were sent away, and all band together -- find one clever person mistakenly abducted that helps them find their way back to Earth. And, SHAZAAM, they take over Earth and instill even more stupidity.

I wish I wasn't afraid of heights.

GRANTED!!!!!

You get over your fear of heights and go on the tallest roller coaster ever made.....

It breaks off the track at the top and you plummet to the ground.....

I wish I could have bean a groupie for the Doors.....

[~Tszura~]

Granted……You now have memories of being the Doors # 1 groupie. You remember partying with Morrison and the band, traveling with them all over the world, and then writing a best selling book about how cool it was back then…….unfortunately, all your memories are lies, as you did so much acid, peyote, and shrooms back in the day your mind is so blown that you lost all touch with reality.~which is that you’re actually a junkie on 8 mile~sorry!!!

I wish I could meet my ancestors of 200 years ago

[Hellion]

I wish for gas prices to drop(sigh)

[anametamystik]

Granted...

Gas is now $1.00 per liter.

*****

Since I have two savage insectivores in my upcoming show that will be performing their routine to some Combichrist, I wish to know the answer to the following question by meeting him:

"Who's your daddy, snakegirl?"

[Guest GodfallenPromos]

Granted...

Gas is now $1.00 per liter.

*****

Since I have two savage insectivores in my upcoming show that will be performing their routine to some Combichrist, I wish to know the answer to the following question by meeting him:

"Who's your daddy, snakegirl?"

the very subtle answer of "Paul Newman" is whispered to you.....and the shock that the actor-turned-salad dressing king is the answer overcomes your existance....your not sure how to handle it, except to jump off a bridge....which you do, landing on a boat passing underneath....you break your back in 4 places, but you live...a quadrepeligic for the rest of your life...only to be fed salad....the hospitol has a contract with Paul Newman's company......

*****

I wish that Cauliflower was a different color.

Edited May 23, 2008 by GodfallenPromos

[anametamystik]

Granted...

It's now vomit colored.

*****

I wish that this mix CD would be finished already.

[Guest GodfallenPromos]

Granted...

It's now vomit colored.

*****

I wish that this mix CD would be finished already.

Granted...it's now finished...unfortunately, it didn't burn right...to it jsut skips around wildly....and your computer decides to format itself after finishing burning....

******

I wish I lived in Hawaii

[anametamystik]

Granted...

You have one of those multimillion dollar homes with the big screen TV, full kitchen, master suite and lava in the livingroom.

*****

I want to know what Fischerspooner was thinking when they recorded "Megacolon".

[Burrich1]

Granted!!!!

You and a few of "your fly white girls" just won an all expenses paid trip to New York City to seen none other than Fischerspooner!!

Sweet.

To celebrate, your friends take you out to for some all you can eat buffet "dinner at the China Doll," where your boyfriend makes eyes at the waitress all night. You’re pissed and glad you have an all girls weekend coming up. Anyway, a few days later in NYC, you realize you have not POOPED for almost 5 days!!!! You should be heading off to the concert, but instead you’re "Moaning and a heaving on a hot sticky can.” Now your "craving chocolate ex-lax and your G.E fan" cause your so fricking hot, and drenched in sweat. You ran out of reading material hours ago, and have had to resort to sticking your finger up your ass to try to break the seal.

Just when you think your life can’t get any worse, you realize what a complete and utter loser your boyfriend has been for years. This turns your bowels to water, and suddenly relieves your constipation. Your shit explodes from your colon in a foul blast of disgustingness. This is now the smell your psyche associates with all men you find attractive. It doesn't take many guys hitting on you before you reform into a lesbian.

Dino-myte. And Fischerspooner's moral is... MSG and loser boyfriends are bad. Or at least life changing.

_____

I wish my employer would realize what a moron my supervisor is, and fire his ass for incompetence.