Who Here Is Single

[Troy Spiral (13)]

Since this is turning into an esoteric discussion I'll leave my two cents. The inexistence/silence is just one side of the coin, and traditionally considered in Hinduism to be the masculine side. Whereas the feminine side is considered emptiness flipped over into energy and matter, often referred to as Kundalini Shakti, Kundalini, or Shakti. Balanced teachers consider consciousness at its most basic level to be beyond gender (without any threat to personality), and this is the highest meaning of Tantra.

To paraphrase one of my favorite teachers, David Spero, 'The ego ends at 100%. Self-realization ends at 100%.' An objective, skeptical person could liken it to positive schizophrenia; and that without a nervous system, meditation would just be a pursuit of contradiction.

The "full transcendence" of many traditions has a massive draw for me. But in practice such thought systems just seem so hard to integrate (or just straight up impossible). I like the idea(s) they are attractive, but in actual practice I think my desire (ut oh) to see humanity "progress" and grow materially, isn't going to go away and I'm not sure I want it to. Plus I mean I NEED my cuddles, I'm sure "thou shalt get two hugs a day" is in one of the vedas somwhere... ok well its in the Troyaveda but still.

i am still single.. and of course there is someone i still like.. but most likely nothing will ever come of it...

Oh please. All you need to do is snap your fingers and the lucky bastard will come runnin... unless hes you know, not within range. Who can resist miss toxic?

[Class-Punk]

The "full transcendence" of many traditions has a massive draw for me. But in practice such thought systems just seem so hard to integrate (or just straight up impossible). I like the idea(s) they are attractive, but in actual practice I think my desire (ut oh) to see humanity "progress" and grow materially, isn't going to go away and I'm not sure I want it to. Plus I mean I NEED my cuddles, I'm sure "thou shalt get two hugs a day" is in one of the vedas somwhere... ok well its in the Troyaveda but still.

In my opinion, meditation has nothing to do with being asexual, personality-less, or anti-materiality. Silence and objectless awareness is just one side of meditation, and obviously not inclusive of all of consciousness. Though I won't argue that meditation can't be difficult or at times, impossible, because that would be getting into a free-will/fatalism debate. It usually takes thinking as a pointer, but realizations out of any kind of meditative practice are generally considered outside of thought and based in consciousness, or to be more empirical, the nervous system.

/threadjackedlikeacarinDetroit

[eatdirt426]

Still single.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

I used to be mega-cool with being single, as I always valued my freedom (and always seemed to not be single in years past) plus I seem to be too picky (or so I'm told) but being single is starting to suck. How I've shifted I'm not sure , but I think its better to admit it than pretend the desire is not there and I'm just so bad ass I don't need anyone! (yeah right lol)

Part of the problem is i'm really not interested in "chasing" (zzzzz), i need to know they are interested, I'm bad at hints and hide and go seek, well actually I'm fairly good at both, just no interest in it anymore. SPEAK ENGLISH lol. But, I know in actual practice, the way (males generally anyway) that's how you end up with a GF. I wish there was just a sign above everyone's head "hey I'm interested" "hey i'm not" or "lets discuss this... well or cuddle and discuss." or I do have ears / email / PM / phone.

[Class-Punk]

I tend to think if I have to spend too much time chasing someone its damned from the start, because even if I end up dating them they don't see me as an equal.

Edited June 10, 2012 by Coffeenated

[Troy Spiral (13)]

I tend to think if I have to spend too much time chasing someone its damned from the start, because even if I end up dating them they don't see me as an equal.

I guess it depends on how much is "too much" but me personaly , any is too much (lol) Honestly though if its more than a little its too much, but, as a rule, my threshold i think is far, far lower than most. I wish it wasn't. But it is, especially if the negative or non-reaction is right up front rather than say, after the first few meetings before anything even gets a chance to start.

I know many people that are happily married or BF/GF were the female in the marriage had NO interest to begin with and only the persistence of the man (or the woman in one case) changed that, many historical examples of this as well.

My parents would have never gotten married if it wasnt for my dad "chasing" my mom for what sounded to me like a LONG time, my mom told me that she said to him "i'm never going to marry you stop trying" at one point. They were married for 40 years (till my dad passed).

I have a female friend who is with a guy right now that she had no interest in for a long time, but they've been together for years now, she apparently at some point just changed her mind. (various other examples)

[SaGa]

chasing is a hard cookie. you must chase BUT if you chase to hard or you do it in a wrong style. basicly you dont want to stalk. because in this society stalking is thought of as a very bad thing. its a fine line for sure. but with mating i think its the initial attraction vrs fondness over time. most think the former is the binding one. and without that, well sorry you loose. but the former involves a lot of universal biological trends. we are slaves to it without much control, and its unforgiving to those who don't fit this mold.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

chasing is a hard cookie. you must chase BUT if you chase to hard or you do it in a wrong style. basicly you dont want to stalk. because in this society stalking is thought of as a very bad thing. its a fine line for sure. but with mating i think its the initial attraction vrs fondness over time. most think the former is the binding one. and without that, well sorry you loose. but the former involves a lot of universal biological trends. we are slaves to it without much control, and its unforgiving to those who don't fit this mold.

the fear of comming off this way is what stopped me for a long time. But, no matter what you do someone is going to take it the wrong way, so its hard to really do anything if you let this become too much of a concern. Sorta like fear of being rejected just this is "fear of beeing creepy" none of us want to be viewed that way but its so subjective, that worrying about it will probably tend to cause us to do nothing (or not enough).

What , u mean cuttin your ear off and sendin it to them is creepy???? Were'd this crazy internet rumor come from.

[Class-Punk]

I got to thinking.. anytime I've gone to the theater with someone I'm attracted to, or tried to get with a chick working at a theater, I got burned. If I happen to meet someone who is smart and worth being around, I'll skip extroverted things and cook for them.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

I got to thinking.. anytime I've gone to the theater with someone I'm attracted to, or tried to get with a chick working at a theater, I got burned. If I happen to meet someone who is smart and worth being around, I'll skip extroverted things and cook for them.

damn them evil corrupting theaters!

[Class-Punk]

damn them evil corrupting theaters!

Theaters are also torture devices for "weak nutritional constitutions", so pretty much all of America. There are few forms of hedonism that match drinking an enormously large and overpriced soda, sitting through a two and a half hour movie, and then finally getting to a bathroom.

Also if a chick doesn't put out for good cooking they obviously love Jesus more than I do and its probably not going to work.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

Theaters are also torture devices for "weak nutritional constitutions", so pretty much all of America. There are few forms of hedonism that match drinking an enormously large and overpriced soda, sitting through a two and a half hour movie, and then finally getting to a bathroom.

Also if a chick doesn't put out for good cooking they obviously love Jesus more than I do and its probably not going to work.

Hey I saw what u did down there.

Also the getting to the bathroom has got an upside a "movie piss" as I like to it is usually pretty epic since one tends to hold it far longer than any normal human would, and when you finally get to the oasis known as a urinal it can be a very comforting feeling. lol

[0pheliA]

Been single for a few years. I am not the sort that needs to define myself by another's attention, but am reaching the point where I would like to have someone to share all that is good in my life with daily and vice versa.

[0pheliA]

Hey I saw what u did down there.

Also the getting to the bathroom has got an upside a "movie piss" as I like to it is usually pretty epic since one tends to hold it far longer than any normal human would, and when you finally get to the oasis known as a urinal it can be a very comforting feeling. lol

Its like a morning piss, only public :D

[Nymada del Sol]

Freshly single here.

[0pheliA]

I got to thinking.. anytime I've gone to the theater with someone I'm attracted to, or tried to get with a chick working at a theater, I got burned. If I happen to meet someone who is smart and worth being around, I'll skip extroverted things and cook for them.

Any first date that involves purposefully ignoring your date for an hour or more is just a bad idea. You are basically saying "I am so uninteresting, I am going to let the movie seduce you."

Even when you interact after, it is after a few hours of emotional buildup from either a good or a bad movie/play/concert.

[Lacilliyr]

Forever single!

Not really, but might as well be. P:

[Class-Punk]

Any first date that involves purposefully ignoring your date for an hour or more is just a bad idea. You are basically saying "I am so uninteresting, I am going to let the movie seduce you."

Well there has to be a way to seduce someone by boring them to death or there wouldn't be so many conservatives.

Edited June 29, 2012 by Coffeenated

[Troy Spiral (13)]

Been single for a few years. I am not the sort that needs to define myself by another's attention, but am reaching the point where I would like to have someone to share all that is good in my life with daily and vice versa.

I've long been "content with my own company" but , that feeling has been morphing into loneliness fairly rapidly in the last few years.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

Any first date that involves purposefully ignoring your date for an hour or more is just a bad idea. You are basically saying "I am so uninteresting, I am going to let the movie seduce you."

Even when you interact after, it is after a few hours of emotional buildup from either a good or a bad movie/play/concert.

Well there has to be a way to seduce someone by boring them to death or there wouldn't be so many conservatives.

Damn! You guy just fucked the whole premise of Troy's Epic Dating System™©®, *shakes head*

[0pheliA]

Sorry Troy, you need to develop a personality it seems.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

Sorry Troy, you need to develop a personality it seems.

Even if true, I wouldn't resort to rudeness to make a point.

I thought it was super obvious i was joking. No one that knows me reasonably well would make the accusation that my personality is lacking in complexity or that I am insensitive. Not sure how I came off the wrong way there. I spend a lot of time trying to be polite and make it clear that my more wise-assed comments are well intentioned. If I'm interpreting this properly it is disheartening.

[0pheliA]

Even if true, I wouldn't resort to rudeness to make a point.

I thought it was super obvious i was joking. No one that knows me reasonably well would make the accusation that my personality is lacking in complexity or that I am insensitive. Not sure how I came off the wrong way there. I spend a lot of time trying to be polite and make it clear that my more wise-assed comments are well intentioned. If I'm interpreting this properly it is disheartening.

lol I knew you were joking hun, so was I. I actually really like your personality.

[torn asunder]

to the above two posters:

that's what emoticons are for!!

[0pheliA]

to the above two posters:

that's what emoticons are for!!

Yeah, it is a rule of the internet ; you cannot spot sarcasm/humor unless emoticons are used. However that completely destroys the ability to deadpan something, which is often a lot funnier.