How Have You Changed?

[sass_in_the_pants]

What did you care about before that you no longer bother with? What things keep you up at night which never even warranted a second glance from you before?

What do you think of people? Do you like them more, less, or the same? Some better, some worse?

I'll tell you my answer later, but for right now, I want to hear yours.

[Homicidalheathen]

Honestly? I was going to change the world with my music.

Now I just wanna live to be 60.

[TygerLili]

I'm a lot less judgemental than I used to be. It used to be that everyone that I knew was just like me, so I judged anyone who wasn't. I've expanded my social network a lot in the last 5 years or so.

I also used to have a pretty rigid set of rules for behavior for myself to follow. Now those rules just don't seem that important to me.

Oh, and I used to have a much more negative attitude and be much less outgoing. That change has only occured in the last few months.

[Gaf The Horse With Tears]

In my youth... I spent most of my time in the woods hunting, trapping and learning to live off the land. I slept many nights under and open sky. I didn't really much care what happened outside my woods.

As I got older, I realized that what happened "out there" had a great affect on "my place".

That made for many fundamental changes.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

I care about people far more than i once did. I value others time and efforts that when i was younger i just took for granted.

Appearances mean a hell of a lot less to me than they used to. In both my relationships and just life in general the physical appearance of something held a lot more draw for me than it does now. I used to make assumptions based on how people were dressed, and used to expect all my girlfriends to fit in some sort of "type" that i no longer hold to be of much use. I don't view that time as a total "waste" of my life, but it sure could have been spent being a lot less anal retentive about appearance.

I definitely value understanding now far more than i ever did. Even people I'm really upset with i try to realize i could be just like them , had my life been different and try to keep it in mind. Actually keep it in mind, not just give lip service to it.

I question authority far more than i ever did before and have learned to check up on the underlying information behind things i believe. I think i was unusual in that i was the teenager that did what he was told and assumed everyone older than me knew what they were talking about far more than i had any hope to. I took what adults and older people said said as gospel truth. Now I've learned more "mature" people are actually just totally wrong about a lot of things. Not that i love them any less or don't care about them, they are just ignorant of man details i had always assumed they knew more about than they actually did, some of which they got from generation after generation of previously ignorant authority figures.

I try to see the "big picture" and how things effect a larger group than just myself and maybe my family or my GF. I really do want to try and do things that are best for everyone if possible, and try to view my world as a much larger place than just what is right in front of our faces.

Also i didn't used to like massive cuddling, now I'm an addict.

[Fierce Critter]

Hmmm... I'm 40. How do I differ now from 10-20 years ago?

I used to think my life would be nothing if I wasn't somehow making my living with my music. Singing, at least. Now, I actually would prefer not to. I don't want fame. I want privacy. I want freedom to go anywhere I want without having to deal with people recognizing me. I know that's taking things to the extreme, but I've never been interested in doing music halfway. It was always "do it for a living, or don't do it." Now, I just want to have fun with it (Steven?).

I used to be really idealistic, optimistic and starry-eyed. Now, I'm realistic, unconcerned, and my feet are planted firmly on the ground.

I used to fear turning 26 and not having reached any of my life's goals. I hated turning 30. I just turned 40, and not only have I not reached most of the goals I had throughout my life, I really don't give a rats' ass anymore. I did not have a problem turning the number "40." Even though I'm dealing with some serious family shit and my own depression, I'm happier than I was 10 years ago. More comfortable in my skin. More aware of how age really can just be a number. That's helped by the fact that most people I meet who don't know my real age put me in my 20's. That makes me feel like things are going well in many ways.

I am way happier taking care of other people now than I used to be. It makes me feel accomplished if I make someone else's day better, or make them smile, or just effect someone in some positive way.

I am totally without faith in the United State's governmental system. I don't trust any politician as far as I can throw them. Which isn't very far because I can't throw to save my life.

I have lost all respect for the police. In every city, in every state, period. I do not see them as anything but money makers for their respective jurisdiction.

I want to live nowhere but Michigan. I don't want to live in Florida like I wanted to once - been there, done that, hated it. Hated North Carolina. Would like to visit California and states to the west, but just that - visit.

I am much happier with "mundane" domestic life than I ever thought I could be. Simple pleasures rule my world.

I am much, much, much more likely to tell someone who is full of shit, "you are full of shit." I can never, ever go back to the white-collar, corporate world because I am no longer able to hold my tongue when I see someone doing something stupid, wasteful, dishonest, etc. I am incapable of sitting at a desk doing meaningless clerical work for people who don't appreciate it. I would rather stock shelves somewhere. Clean pit toilets in a park. Paint walls. Fuck desk jobs.

I don't feel a need to referee for family members anymore.

I don't find stuffed animals irresistible anymore. My collection of them stopped when I got my first real, live animal pet.

I still believe in the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus. Even though I know better.

I find television sitcoms utterly banal and irritating in their stupidity and predictability. My evenings used to be spent in front of the TV watching them every fucking night. Now I don't watch any.

Even though turning 40 didn't bother me, the physical issues I have now that I didn't have 10-20 years ago bother me deeply. I am hoping that some of it is due to weight and not to age, and that losing weight will help all or at least some of it. But I am scared that I'll lose weight and still have pains, aches & problems.

I don't change who I am at my core for anyone anymore. I make allowable compromises to be in a relationship with my husband. But I am not making the same sacrifices of self that I made in the early years of our relationship. I'm learning how to be "Jon's Wife" without losing "Camille."

I'm gonna stop there.

[Kit Kat P]

I haven't, not really. I've grown and matured, but WHO I am hasn't changed. I've reached a point where I'm comfortable being me but do not feel the need to shove the WHO of me down peoples' throats for acceptance. You either like or don't, and that's okay. My core set of morals hasn't changed and my internal compass still pretty much guides most of what I do.

[phee]

The main change I can think about in the last few years is that my chaos has switched places (for the better). My life is more chaotic, but my heart is more at peace. I am happier, even though I can't do all of the social things and clubbing that I was able to do before due to business and external problems, I am feeling better about myself within. The place I return to inside is less tormented and full of hope then I can remember.

I used to go out a lot because it distracted me from the pain I was feeling inside, now the need for distraction has gone a lot and I feel more content to simply be. I have come to the realization that this change may have cost me some of the friendships that I held dearly, and that some would not understand such a change if they have not been able/chosen not to have a change like this them selves... But I really cannot help that.

[Steven]

I've changed alot. alot.

Im 42 (almost).

there are many times where in my heart - I still feel 21. But in my knees, my neck, my back...yep....I'm 42.

I understand with much greater depth that the majority of boring old fux that we used to dismiss were once real people who got that way paving the way for us - and that we foolishly dont care.

I am more apt to stand on a priciple than I ever have been in my life, and more apt to risk anything I have for it as well, although Im much less apt to act without forethought.

I beleive more than ever that life need a purpose or calling in order to provide a conduit for health of heart, spirit, and mind.

I dont blame anybody else for me. And I dont regret where Ive come from. In fact for the most part I feel fortunate to have seen what Ive seen as it affects my vision now with much greater color.

In my youth I was cynical and nontrusting and therefore non trustworthy.

Now Im old, balding, and fat. But I will do what I say I will do, I will go to every effort to encourage somebody, and I put tremendous faith and energy into people who are trying....

the older I get the harder it becomes to make sense of needing outside approval. I either trust me by 42 or I dont (and I do).

Im not as pretty as I used to be.

but Im pretty fucking cool, much cooler than I used to be. So I'll take the swap of pretty cool over just pretty....

I sing and perform onstage better than I ever did at 22.....which is weird.....but I enjoy it. Maybe its because Im simply that much more at ease with myself, I'm not sure.....I'm just way better than I was in younger years. Of course it takes me two days to get over it....

I tell the truth.

I am a friend, not an opportunist. It used to be soooooooooooooo the other way around.

I am a great, great, great husband to my wife......and the older I get the more important to me that becomes, and the more at ease and natural we are with each other, and the fiercer my devotion to her gets, as does my want to protect her. In younger years it was all abotu me, only me, and myself.

I trust my instincts in all things more and more, because I've tested myself and my beleifs so much. There is the irrepressible force of life and yet I'm pretty much the immovable object. Which means I sleep really well.

In younger years I was a leader....but I was wreckless. I'm still a leader....but its done much more by way of example and I've become a teacher this way.

and I don't worry....I just dont, and that does nto mean all things are hunky dory. Part of it is my nature....but for the most part, its because I beleive we only have so much control in this life and that God will give me what I need in the moment if and when and as I need it.

I say less, but I communicate better.

[Pandora]

Since entering AA I've changed more in the last 21 months than since I was a young teenager. I now know how to cope with life on life's terms. My anger has lessened dramatically. I'm far more easy going than I ever was before, am less possessive, less jealous, not desperate for attention from anyone who would give it to me, being interested in other's lives as much as or more than my own and am developing for me a staggering amount of patience. It's not entirely the "me" show anymore.

My life is still unmanageable at times and always will be, but I know how to deal with things now. Much happier, able to experience and hold on to joy longer, and let sadness and anger pass quicker. I make and keep friends now instead of burning bridges regularly and am reaching goals I set for myself. Peace of mind is a regular emotion I feel no matter who shitty things get.

[Homicidalheathen]

We have come to the same conclusion about a lot of things fierce. Music, the police.........domestic bliss.

Fame and Fortune seem to ruin some people.

I never trusted my government.......Now I downright FEAR it.

I have lost faith in humanity to a degree and trust NO ONE deeply anymore. NO one. Its sad.

Domestic bliss......used to fear that too.......anything domestic, I wanted to stay WILD.....guess I got tired and lonely like everyone else.

Hmmm... I'm 40. How do I differ now from 10-20 years ago?

I used to think my life would be nothing if I wasn't somehow making my living with my music. Singing, at least. Now, I actually would prefer not to. I don't want fame. I want privacy. I want freedom to go anywhere I want without having to deal with people recognizing me. I know that's taking things to the extreme, but I've never been interested in doing music halfway. It was always "do it for a living, or don't do it." Now, I just want to have fun with it (Steven?).

I used to be really idealistic, optimistic and starry-eyed. Now, I'm realistic, unconcerned, and my feet are planted firmly on the ground.

I used to fear turning 26 and not having reached any of my life's goals. I hated turning 30. I just turned 40, and not only have I not reached most of the goals I had throughout my life, I really don't give a rats' ass anymore. I did not have a problem turning the number "40." Even though I'm dealing with some serious family shit and my own depression, I'm happier than I was 10 years ago. More comfortable in my skin. More aware of how age really can just be a number. That's helped by the fact that most people I meet who don't know my real age put me in my 20's. That makes me feel like things are going well in many ways.

I am way happier taking care of other people now than I used to be. It makes me feel accomplished if I make someone else's day better, or make them smile, or just effect someone in some positive way.

I am totally without faith in the United State's governmental system. I don't trust any politician as far as I can throw them. Which isn't very far because I can't throw to save my life.

I have lost all respect for the police. In every city, in every state, period. I do not see them as anything but money makers for their respective jurisdiction.

I want to live nowhere but Michigan. I don't want to live in Florida like I wanted to once - been there, done that, hated it. Hated North Carolina. Would like to visit California and states to the west, but just that - visit.

I am much happier with "mundane" domestic life than I ever thought I could be. Simple pleasures rule my world.

I am much, much, much more likely to tell someone who is full of shit, "you are full of shit." I can never, ever go back to the white-collar, corporate world because I am no longer able to hold my tongue when I see someone doing something stupid, wasteful, dishonest, etc. I am incapable of sitting at a desk doing meaningless clerical work for people who don't appreciate it. I would rather stock shelves somewhere. Clean pit toilets in a park. Paint walls. Fuck desk jobs.

I don't feel a need to referee for family members anymore.

I don't find stuffed animals irresistible anymore. My collection of them stopped when I got my first real, live animal pet.

I still believe in the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus. Even though I know better.

I find television sitcoms utterly banal and irritating in their stupidity and predictability. My evenings used to be spent in front of the TV watching them every fucking night. Now I don't watch any.

Even though turning 40 didn't bother me, the physical issues I have now that I didn't have 10-20 years ago bother me deeply. I am hoping that some of it is due to weight and not to age, and that losing weight will help all or at least some of it. But I am scared that I'll lose weight and still have pains, aches & problems.

I don't change who I am at my core for anyone anymore. I make allowable compromises to be in a relationship with my husband. But I am not making the same sacrifices of self that I made in the early years of our relationship. I'm learning how to be "Jon's Wife" without losing "Camille."

I'm gonna stop there.

[Nienna]

I used be very uptight about control. Money, relationships, everything. I got increasingly more neurotic and depressive and then I kinda of hit bottom on it. It seems like almost overnight I learned to acknowlege when I cannot change something and then just let it go. I also stopped really caring what others thought of me. I embraced my own selfishness and started putting myself first. I'm happier than I have ever been too!

[creatureofthenyte]

I haven't changed much.

Well ok, July 2007, due to circumstances of my own doing, I had to get rid of my long hair.

I would say that I have become a much stronger person as a result of what life has dealt me over the past few years.

I speak my mind and have become abit more outgoing.

I have also turned up the volume on my sense of humor.

I know where I am in life, and where I want to be, and I'm not there yet.

I am more resolute in my resolve to achieve goals Ive set.

I am very comfortable in my own skin and can take a joke.

[Sybil]

What did you care about before that you no longer bother with? What things keep you up at night which never even warranted a second glance from you before?

What do you think of people? Do you like them more, less, or the same? Some better, some worse?

1. drugs. going to every party i was invited to. hmm.. i always thought i was "missing something" and didnt sit still much.

2. things that keep me up at night.. I worry about my man's health. he gets chest pains and back pains. i stay up late sometimes crying and praying for him.

3. what do i think of people? haha does it matter? no really, though.. each person and situation is different.

some people i "cant stand the thought of them" because they hurt me deeply and i am not "over the hurt yet"..

some people i love so much that i would put myself in front of them to save them from "..."

as a side note i think that the greatest words we can say to one another are, "i am sorry"...

none of us are perfect.

if we could consider our actions, and apologise when we mess up.. that would be nice.

*sigh*

there are alot of people i stopped talking to a long time ago because i never heard those words come out of their mouths..

So where are YOUR answeres, Sass??????

[Tryp]

To my firneds they say I have changed for the worse. That I am not myself and doing things that aren't me. In return they refuse to eve see me anymore. That makes me wonder if they truly are friends to begin with. Tehir excuse we're worried and don't know how to come at you about it. SO they avoid me. I know I;ve changed but I don't think it's for the worse. I did a lot of thinking and soul searching and decided what I want out of life. I'm sorry if I do some fucked up things to get what i want but who don't?

So many things keep my awake at night. I used to live by the motto laugh now cry later. Meaning have fun now worry about what you did to have that fun later. I know I've done a lot of fucked up things in life and hurt so many loved ones. I want to repay them somehow but how?

[JaneDead]

How Have You Changed?

i now know i DESERVE more than i have let myself have in life. i will never think so little of myself ever ever again. ever.

[Scales]

I've changed a lot and was once a very mentally unstable, weak person in the past. I care about what people think, but I don't let criticisms dig into me and reroute my life. I took up and later quit smoking, I don't smoke period. My front row of teeth are rotting out, I have a few hundred, faded self-inflicted scars, and I'm a high school dropout; these are all little things to me that don't affect my ability to be happy or intelligent, but perpetually confuse the loved ones around me.

I take antidepressants daily which keep me stable, making that change shifted my life so that I had more control then I'd had in years. Seeing that the world requires acting rather than hoping, I have become much more involved in activism and community. I've been pretty hurt by someone I had feelings for along with dealing with social anxiety, which has made me learn more about social and human behavior as well as teaching me to value my own integrity and the humility that keeps it in check.

[EAF (1)]

I have stopped letting people step on me...or at least tried to. I have excepted the fact that people will always come to me for help and most likely after once more forget I exsist as I fade into the backdrop. But only recently have I begun to embrace this and tried to use it to the best of my ability. I do still think I can help people help themselves and change the world but not with my writing...now maybe with being a psychologist? I still want a family one day and love is still the most important thing to me. I have realized that I am no longer a child but will always be to some.

I know I am stuck being me and am trying to make the best of it. I have embraced that I am probably crazy and that I will never not be who I am...no matter how much I wish. I have accepted that I am a strong and individual person but that even the strong sometimes need someone else...

I am trying to be less independent and alone and be more outgoing and caring...I am trying to shift my life to the one I want rather than what I think people want for me...I need to be understood and loved, even though I know many around me never will.

[Homicidalheathen]

I dont like to party much anymore. I hate most drugs now....well all but one really and I am bored with that one....I can't sing live now cause my left eardrum is busted....

I am laaaame. I just want to stay home and do yoga and meditate and fuck.

The only thing interesting is my sex life and most of the time I don't even get that.

Boring in my middle age I suppose.....I hate driving and putting up with rude people and paying up the ass to NOT have a good time most of the time so I stay home.

Hell I can't even pig out like I used to.

[Head Wreck]

learned to ignore being titterpatted

[Fierce Critter]

learned to ignore being titterpatted

That sounds incredibly dirty.

[SuZQZ]

I haven't, not really. I've grown and matured, but WHO I am hasn't changed. I've reached a point where I'm comfortable being me but do not feel the need to shove the WHO of me down peoples' throats for acceptance. You either like or don't, and that's okay. My core set of morals hasn't changed and my internal compass still pretty much guides most of what I do.

i now know i DESERVE more than i have let myself have in life. i will never think so little of myself ever ever again. ever.

Both of these quotes sum it up for me. But I will add that I now know that it is ok to put myself and my happiness above other peoples. To take care of myself first, you know. I never got that before. I always put others before me like I wasn't worthy or my happiness didn't matter as much. I will never be that way again and I am raising my daughter to put herself first, too. In the good sense, not that she should step on people to get ahead or anything, just not put herself at the bottom of her list of what's important.

[Oh_My_Goth]

The main change I can think about in the last few years is that my chaos has switched places (for the better). My life is more chaotic, but my heart is more at peace. I am happier, even though I can't do all of the social things and clubbing that I was able to do before due to business and external problems, I am feeling better about myself within. The place I return to inside is less tormented and full of hope then I can remember.

I used to go out a lot because it distracted me from the pain I was feeling inside, now the need for distraction has gone a lot and I feel more content to simply be. I have come to the realization that this change may have cost me some of the friendships that I held dearly, and that some would not understand such a change if they have not been able/chosen not to have a change like this them selves... But I really cannot help that.

You said it.....Kindred soul.....

Took the words in Me head and typed it out.....Damn, no wonder why Rev callz you St. Phee.....

Mighty Good Shoew.....Mighty Good Shoew.....

[Pandora]

learned to ignore being titterpatted

Is that the same as being pittertatted???

[Rev.Reverence]

All at once, I care less about people, and care more for humanity, as an immortal coalescence throughout ages...

..and what PHEE said.