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Polys And Monos

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torn asunder Enthusiast

torn asunder

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i will say that, given all parties involved are mature enough, (which is quite dificult to find) my ideal situation would be a "monogamous" 3 people.since i'm straight, that would mean 2 other women. (not just a relationship between me and each woman - more like each person having a relationship with each other person) and i'm not talking about the sexual aspects of that; moreso the expanded interaction, and the greater variety and diversity of interests.

not sure why, but it just seems ideal to me...

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Rev.Reverence Newbie

Rev.Reverence

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i will say that, given all parties involved are mature enough, (which is quite dificult to find) my ideal situation would be a "monogamous" 3 people.since i'm straight, that would mean 2 other women. (not just a relationship between me and each woman - more like each person having a relationship with each other person) and i'm not talking about the sexual aspects of that; moreso the expanded interaction, and the greater variety and diversity of interests.

not sure why, but it just seems ideal to me...

Yeah, what people DO NOT realize right off the bat is that you can only have sex for so long before you wanna' roll over and talk...

..or watch TV

..or ... whatever else...

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Msterbeau Collaborator

Msterbeau

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i will say that, given all parties involved are mature enough, (which is quite dificult to find) my ideal situation would be a "monogamous" 3 people.since i'm straight, that would mean 2 other women. (not just a relationship between me and each woman - more like each person having a relationship with each other person) and i'm not talking about the sexual aspects of that; moreso the expanded interaction, and the greater variety and diversity of interests.

not sure why, but it just seems ideal to me...

I've thought about this a lot over the past year. I feel like what you're describing and the reasons for it would suit me well too. For me though, it can be tough to separate "my" thinking from some of the thoughts and actions that I associate with my addiction. So I have to be very careful with what is in my true nature vs. fantasies in the guise of clear thought. In any case, I think I still have work to do on my communication skills before I'd attempt anything like this.

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torn asunder Enthusiast

torn asunder

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I've thought about this a lot over the past year. I feel like what you're describing and the reasons for it would suit me well too. For me though, it can be tough to separate "my" thinking from some of the thoughts and actions that I associate with my addiction. So I have to be very careful with what is in my true nature vs. fantasies in the guise of clear thought. In any case, I think I still have work to do on my communication skills before I'd attempt anything like this.

yeah, openness and honesty are key to any relationship, but even moreso in this type of situation.

sending you a pm, btw...

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Destroit Collaborator

Destroit

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Dude...I would say it would be sweet having two dudes. I would have such a hard time not only treating them equal, but loving them both, putting up with them both, etc.

So basically the sex would be totally badass...but then the price tag would be added drama.

That and I don't think I could actually love two people at the same time, I have a hard enough time loving one. There would be some level of fakery going on, it would just be inevitable.

But did I mention the sex would be totally badass :drool?

I would never be a girlfriend who had a guy and a girl though...girls just gross me out. On the top ten list of "Stuff that makes me go EWWW" the female body is number one, so I'd pass on that. Personality wise I'm not much for most women, sorry girls, so on a "deep" level being with a woman would also be hard for me. I have a hard enough time keeping girls as friends, never-the-less a girlfriend :laugh:.

Edited by Chernobyl
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Rev.Reverence Newbie

Rev.Reverence

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Cherny say:

That and I don't think I could actually love two people at the same time, I have a hard enough time loving one. There would be some level of fakery going on, it would just be inevitable.

That made me think, WOW...

I Love every one in the human race.... :grouphug

...my problem (in life) is that I don't LIKE that many people, and even when I find people I like,

time inevitably changes them... often into some thing I dislike... :crybaby:

..so I do count myself LUCKY to have the wife I have...and keep praying to find #2...

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Msterbeau Collaborator

Msterbeau

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...my problem (in life) is that I don't LIKE that many people, and even when I find people I like,

time inevitably changes them... often into some thing I dislike... :crybaby:

Here's a critical thing in my mind and why lifelong monogamy doesn't always work. PEOPLE CHANGE!! If you actively grow and seek new things over your life time, inevitably things won't function as they once did between two people. For some, they change in a similar enough way. Some not. I think for some a healthy serial monogamy is viable option. You're poly.... just not at the same time. Hmm... maybe this is a topic for another thread?

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SuZQZ Newbie

SuZQZ

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I can only speak for myself, but I am a monogomy kind of gal. When I become serious with an individual I dedicate myself to them heart, body and soul, at least during the time we are together. Yes, people change and situations change, but I am hopeful that perhaps one day I will find myself in a relationship that will last beyond several years. As for poly type relationships, I really have an opinion and I certainly cast no judgement or criticism. Everyone must find what works for themselves and those they are involved with and what makes them happy. I'm all for that.

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Destroit Collaborator

Destroit

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Cherny say:

That made me think, WOW...

I Love every one in the human race.... :grouphug

...my problem (in life) is that I don't LIKE that many people, and even when I find people I like,

time inevitably changes them... often into some thing I dislike... :crybaby:

..so I do count myself LUCKY to have the wife I have...and keep praying to find #2...

I initially love everyone too and give everyone a chance...but usually as I get to know them, sadly, alot of the time that wears away. I'm weird too though, I <3 all of my friends and I mean that, I just have a hard time loving romantically, or have rather up until now.

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Troy Spiral Contributor

Troy Spiral (13)

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Was fairly hardcore , dead set against anything other than monogamy virtually since day 1 and can give a long argument of the various cons involved. Somehow I'm mildly equivocating on that recently, but am still so strongly "mono" that its hard to even really contemplate objectively without having my traditional thinking come rushing right back in, despite thinking that i might have been just conditioned this way, and i never really "decided" anything.

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Ice Queen Newbie

Ice Queen (1)

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Was fairly hardcore , dead set against anything other than monogamy virtually since day 1 and can give a long argument of the various cons involved. Somehow I'm mildly equivocating on that recently, but am still so strongly "mono" that its hard to even really contemplate objectively without having my traditional thinking come rushing right back in, despite thinking that i might have been just conditioned this way, and i never really "decided" anything.

Interesting. I have seen others in life that seem to only be in the type of relationship they are in due to that being what is expected or they have been conditioned into.

Me, I've been wondering myself lately. Not all that long ago someone said to me that they didn't think that one man could ever be enough for me. It was a drunken statement probably not remembered, but it made me think. I have the ability to be and have been monogamous in the past. Unfortunately, to those that did not deserve it. After realizing that I actually have worth and deserve to be happy and treated well, the bar for someone I would consider being in a monogamous relationship has been raised very high. I refuse to be in a long term monogamous relationship that does not give me what I need, want, and deserve. Of course, I expect it to be reciprocal, otherwise, what's the point? I have toyed with the idea of a untraditional type of relationship, but there are so many cons, I don't think it would be for me long term. Maybe it has something to do with the whole conditioning thing, I am still sort of an idealist. If I ever am going to let my guard down with someone and seriously be with them, there would be no room for another. So, ya, I pretty much see myself as being permanently single, casually dating, and enjoying what that has to offer. Luckily, I am very happy single, it suits me well.

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Rev.Reverence Newbie

Rev.Reverence

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Here's a critical thing in my mind and why lifelong monogamy doesn't always work. PEOPLE CHANGE!! If you actively grow and seek new things over your life time, inevitably things won't function as they once did between two people. For some, they change in a similar enough way. Some not. I think for some a healthy serial monogamy is viable option. You're poly.... just not at the same time. Hmm... maybe this is a topic for another thread?

Serial monogamy...I don't get the concept...

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Draco1958 Newbie

Draco1958

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I have always been attracted to Males and Females.....I want one of each to Marry (I have Me Rev), now I wait for Me wife.....

I guess then, I was born this way.....

1,2,3.....Looks pretty strong to Me.....

triangles.gif

I wonder how many people are going to call Me a sicko for my beliefs today????? :unsure:

This could make a guy wish he was female. :respect:

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EnViOuSPoPpEt Newbie

EnViOuSPoPpEt

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A Monogamist Marriage is ideal for myself. I'm selfish I don't like to share, and I don't want to be shared. I love having one man to come home to. To love and be loved. Like Cher mentioned, one is enough.

I suppose if the people are all on the same level in a Poly- relationship/ marriage that might be hard for them to be with each other. More people=more drama and needs. I mean if you are really poly try being a Mormon, at least there is acceptable. In a normal everyday society, it's not. But who am I to judge what's normal now-o'days ^_^.

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Homicidalheathen Newbie

Homicidalheathen

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Well trannies have both...... :wink

I have thought about it but have yet to meet the right one and just want a friendship/fling thing.....but yah the ol man said it would be ok if it is not a sleezo lol

Most of the one's I know paid for the boobies turning tricks unfortunatly

But yah....big dick.....big boobs......nice face, I'd play all night with that.

heh.

This could make a guy wish he was female. :respect:

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  • 4 months later...
Destroit Collaborator

Destroit

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Posted (edited)

Cherny say:

That made me think, WOW...

I Love every one in the human race.... :grouphug

...my problem (in life) is that I don't LIKE that many people, and even when I find people I like,

time inevitably changes them... often into some thing I dislike... :crybaby:

..so I do count myself LUCKY to have the wife I have...and keep praying to find #2...

To reply to this a whole six months later today exactly:

I "brotherly" love most everyone, even the people I hate I ask the Lord to guide better, I was just accustomed to not believing in romantic love so much. To clarify what I meant in my original post by "love".

I even kinda like the romantic girly shit now sometimes...I guess it was something I had to get used to? And it feels so odd because it's so damn fem...makes me feel fucking weak and I hate that.

Edited by Chernobyl
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