What Do I Do?

[Tryp]

My babygirl, her name is Ashley left two days ago for lorida. The plan was for her to stay up here and live with me or for me to go down there and live with her and her family. Turns out her mother didn't want me to go right away, she said she wanted time alone with her husband(due to he was gone for 6months). Any ways, Ashley had to go so she could watch her nieces. Her sister fucked up her probation and got locked up, I think it's fucked up that she has to fix her sisters mistakes. No one else in her family wants to watch the kids and rather them go to foster care which is why she has to watch them. I'm lost, I understand why she had to go but I want to be so mad at her for leaving. I'm a wreck and I don't know what to do. We plan on being together forever, and this truly is a test of our relationship. The plan now is for either me to move down there in a few months or for her to come back up here. In the man time I honestly don't know what to do or how to deal with this guys. Please help me out.

I know I have to get a job and get money together in order to go down there that part I know. But emotionally and etc I need help and support.

[Angel of Death]

If you really love her as much as you say I suggest you wait it out for her. You have a number to call her on right? Call her ALLOT...it help when the loneliness kicks in...trust me. If you can write her as often as you can. Writing how you feel can really help you cope with your emotions. If she can't come up...in my opinion as soon as she told you you can come down go see her. Also for the lonesomeness it's good to have friends. GOOD friends.

If you need someone to talk to you can PM anytime.

[hunhee]

Umm.. doesn't look like she left you because she had much of a choice.. it looks like she went because she had familial obligations.. you need to respect that.. You should be proud of her the fact that she is mature enough to take responsibilities for things that really aren't her responsibility. That right there is what we call a keeper.

Her sister's kids didn't chose for her sister to be a flake, unfortunately you don't get a whole lot of choice as to who you're born to. They're lucky they have Ashley and that she cares enough to watch out for them.

Trust me, foster care for the kids is bad news.. It's gotta be hard enough to be shifted through family members, but I couldn't imagine being shifted through strangers. I'm not saying that in "theory" foster care is a bad thing, I've just heard some really bad stories.. why take that chance?

Now, what you need to hold on to is the fact that they didn't say.. You CANNOT come down at all!!!.. you need to just wait it out. Take some time to work, keep busy, post on DGN. Talk to her all the time on the phone if you can, focus on making the money that you need to get down there, and as soon as they say it's a go.. GO! Plane tickets to Florida are CHEAP .. buy a one way ticket.. Spirit often has them for like $39..or tops, you'll pay $89 for one way..(in the off season, which is in a couple months, the tickets will probably be cheaper) have the rest of your shit sent to you.. you're GOLDEN.

If you have a car, just pack all the necessary important shit (believe me, I could curb my shit down to one carload if I truly wanted to)... and drive down.. get a friend to come down with you.. again.. buy a one way ticket back for them.

And like AofD's PM's mine are open to you as well.

[Miranda]

It's really hard when the rug gets pulled out from under you , especially when it is because of someone else's irresponsibility. If the kids were to get sent to Foster care and something bad did happen, your gf would never forgive herself and her family would be devastated. I agree that everything should not be put on Ashley's shoulders. I have a niece and I can understand If I had to make the choice, I would rather have her stay with me than the thought of her going to any Foster home. I know none of this helps you out emotionally right now but this is the time when you are going to have to be strong for the both of you. I can imagine that she wasn't too thrilled about her sister's actions either. Family is family and sometimes we get caught up in the "familial madness" as I call it.

I will say that if my sister continued down this path, it would be out of my hands. I would live my life, those are not Ashley's children, they are not her responsibility. Her sister really needs to grow up and realize this is making Ashley put her life on hold for her indiscretions. It's not fair at all. In the end she has made the choice that she felt was right for her, so you have to respect that. Love keeps if it's real. You just need to remember that. Trust is the most important thing to have in any type of relationship with anyone. There are ways to keep in touch as other's have mentioned. Also keep in mind that people feed off of how each other are responding to things. It's not something you can easily hide.

Somehow you have to learn to accept what is going on right now and adjust. If you are stressed, she will be stressed and you both will be miserable, that could cause really bad problems later. I know you don't want that so you have to keep your wit's and calm about you. Unfortunately , you are left with a feeling of not being able to react to your anger and that's not good for you so you need to work through that in some constructive manner. You have a right to talk about your feelings because I feel if you never do, it won't be fully resolved but I feel it should be face to face. Isn't one of the core issues is that you feel abandon by her and her decision to just leave when you had set plans? This treads into deep and personal feelings, if you rather pm, that's fine too but we are concerned and here for you.

[Tryp]

Thank you guys. I do respect that she had to take care of her sisters kids. I respect her a lot for that.