plus size and bbw

[Fin]

If you're a geek, who loves D & D and listens to Gloria Estefan, be proud of it!

(Oh NO...they're ON to me....)

[Homicidalheathen]

Depends on the person. Its more about heart and soul and a pretty face and being well groomed...I personally don't usually go for anyone morbidly obese but a little extra padding no prob.

There has been one large woman I have played with and we are good friends...her weight goes up and down so I just go with it cause I am not going to dump her in her 'I am fat' times.

[hunhee]

(Oh NO...they're ON to me....)

1 2 3 4 Come on baby!!!

[Destroit]

Apparantly I'm shallow for having a preference in body types...but I will say I love me some skinny men. Someone has to fight for the minority (technically thin people now, 60% of America is either overweight/obese).

I was myself a plus sized girl my whole life and felt horrible. So for those girls/boys that can carry around extra weight and still feel sexy, kudos to you. It was just something I couldn't mentally force myself to accept no matter how hard I tried. I could sit there, look in a mirror and try to tell myself I was beautiful until I was blue in the face...I just never actually believed it though. I knew I was lying to myself.

So although I personally wouldn't date a guy who is bigger, I applaud those who either like that sort of thing or have the ability to look past appearances and see the person beneath the skin, it's just something I've never been able to do (romantically speaking, I have friends/accuaintences that are overweight/obese). But then again, I'm glad I go for the skinny minis because my likes/dislikes make me who I am, like it or not. The world needs all kinds of people, those who prefer big people, those who prefer skinny people, and those that no have no preference.

Personally I'm weird with dating anyway seeing as I'm kind of a guy in what I call a girl-suit. I am pretty much a full-on dude.

~My mind thinks dude-ish.

~My manneurisms are dude-ish.

~If I gotta go to the bathroom I stand up in a crowded room with all my friends and yell "I'LL BE RIGHT BACK I HAVE TO TAKE A MASSIVE DUMP!" then get up, grab a paper, do my shit, and THEN come back and tell them about it in DETAIL (sometimes with pictures if it's that impressive).

~I can drink beer like in the movie Beerfest.

~I can't use a fucking stove...if Raven never came into my life I'd look like Starvin' Marvin by now.

~Every time I have sex with any man my dream is to roll over afterwards and have him magically have turned into a joint and a large pizza with maybe some Killian's.

~I still hold the beer bonging record in the City of Royal Oak (THREE 40oz. of Steel Reserve, %8.1 alc vol., in under one minute thirty seconds).

~If a guy doesn't hit women, I won't date him because I'd get bored in a week.

~XboX/PS2 skills REQUIRED.

~I dislike cuddling (not 100% of the time, I am girly from occasion, but so many guys I know like to cuddle, so I guess it's not a girl thing)...for serious, it just gets me horny with no punchline. That and you're laying there looking up a ceiling for like 30 minutes thinking about all the other things that you could be doing atm.

I could go on...so I'm starting to think the reason looks matter so much for me and not other women (other women go for personality and stuff, but I know better) is because really, I'm a VERY VERY GAY MALE. Guys MOST of the time...the number one reason for not dating a girl is because he doesn't like the way she looks. I have ONLY male friends and have never heard a dude turn down a girl for any reason except A) appearances or B) she already has kids. ONLY two reasons I've ever heard come out of other guys...but that's just in my experience. So I'm guessing that may have something to do with why I put appearances so high up on a pedestal when it comes to dating.

Even meeting Nightgaunt two weeks ago at CC shocked him...he was REALLY under the impression that I was a very flamboyantly gay male. I told him that he was correct.

[freydis]

For me, it's not as though i'm 'looking past appearances'.

i LOVE bigger guys.

i need someone who feels substantial, like the big strong guy. that's what i like.

[Fin]

1 2 3 4 Come on baby!!!

8-9-10-11: I'm just gonna keep on countin'...till you are mine! WOO! Get it GIRL!!

(Thanks a LOT, Eternal. See what you started?)

[creatureofthenyte]

8-9-10-11: I'm just gonna keep on countin'...till you are mine! WOO! Get it GIRL!!

(Thanks a LOT, Eternal. See what you started?)

You forgot: 5, 6, 7 times!

Bad Sharky! no chum fo you!

[Goth Brooks]

http://honeymodel.deviantart.com/gallery/

my favourite plus sized model

[Miranda]

Honey Hellfire , wow haven't seen her in a while.

[JaneDead]

this is not on topic and i am not even going to read any of the other posts but - eternal, i LOVE your posts. don't ever ever EVER leave dgn. ever. and if you do, tell me where you go so i can read your shit where ever you go!

[Rev.Reverence]

As for guys that mope that they aren't getting women because of their weight or age, women notice

personality over looks even more we do.

^^^^^^^

This MESS was the only thing I did not agree with sir...I did not understand the syntax..

^{(IT WAS FUNNY 'CAUSE OF THE GRAMMAR REMARKS!)}

you have nothing to worry about.

It's not a matter of if, but when...

...AND

if that person will be good enough for you when you meet him.

REALLY a whole lot of good advice...

..GREAT SUMMATION...

I couldn't possibly read another word.....G'nite!

[Goth Brooks]

Honey Hellfire , wow haven't seen her in a while.

i used to listen to her radio show daily... hot fire

[the eternal]

this is not on topic and i am not even going to read any of the other posts but - eternal, i LOVE your posts. don't ever ever EVER leave dgn. ever. and if you do, tell me where you go so i can read your shit where ever you go!

G-d bless you

[Msterbeau]

WARNING: This post is at a length not suitable for children. You may want to avoid reading this if you suffer

from: heart murmurs

high cholesterol

pregnancy

high self-esteem

ADD

ADHD

Supercalifragilisticexpiolodocious

Bi-Polar Disorder

the runs

the bends

love in an elevator

temporary euphoria

or is a working mother who is expressing milk while on hold with a customer service representative

in Calcutta and Ferozepur City.

_______________________________________________________________________________

First of all, great post Hunhee!

That's very true.

As for guys that mope that they aren't getting women because of their weight or age, women notice

personality over looks even more we do.

So,

I'm going to take Hunhee's spot on assessment of the flirt and move on to the next step "meet and greet" (which we're already at on the board).

Stop the self-deprecation, it's annoying. it's cloying,

and for those of you that're thin already, it seems like you're fishing for compliments

(I've had my issues with it myself--either viewing my self as wimpy or fat)

Regardless, it wont get you a date.

Here's what else WON'T get you a date:

----Talking about how sexy an underage relative of yours is (eww!!)

(if you're a man)

---making leering comments about "the ladies" or their anatomy or about how dirty your mind is

because you made a double entendre when there was none there, even on DGN.

Hello, these women don't know you!

If you're trying to make a joke fine, but it won't get you a date

NEVER NEVER NEVER

(now if you're a woman-making objectifying comments about us are usu. welcome--

we are not used to such comments and are therefore usually more susceptible to them)

(if you're a man)

---talking about you're dick size is a no-no.

Apparently I used to do this when I first came on. I don't rem. doing it, but I wont deny it. I was horny.

Bean fell in love with me despite of that, not because of it. It's sleazy. And desperate.

It's okay to FEEL sleazy and desperate.

Just like it's okay, to FEEL fat, ugly, loser-ish.

It's NOT okay to act that way.

Because here's the thing:

Whatever you're insecure about is overblown, and you may not know this,

BUT

you're actually suffering from a treatable disease.

________________________________________________________

ACCD

Acute Confidence Deficit Disorder,

But now there IS help: ilovemevia

It gives you the confidence you never knew you had.

See your doctor to find out if Ilovemevia is right for you

____________________________________________________________________

To answer your main question:

there are ALWAYS people out there that want someone like you, whoever you are.

The KEY is finding those people.

And doing the right things to attract them.

(Now, back to my penis--

dick size comments are bad but if you're a woman, talking about your breast size, if they are large, as they often are for BBWs, ARE usu. welcome, esp if you're online and men haven't seen you yet--

(((((((Men love boobs)))))

Just don't do it all the time.

Men like to be lured, not beaten over the head.

For MEN and WOMEN

Don't talk about: how much of a loser you are

how you can't keep a job

how much you hate your ex

how difficult your kids are

your time in the mental ward

your fight with eating disorders

how you live with your mom

how no one wants to date you (hello! red flag)

how no one should want to date you

If we fall in love with you, we will figure all those things out.

We just want to get know you first.

Once we've fallen for you, we'll accept your faults, because we're chock full of em too!

Another thing:

Dress appropriately!!!!!!

Wear something that flatters your figure and is appropriate for the occasion.

What you wear to Fetish Fest will be different than Grandma's 90th b-day bash.

But you might meet that special someone either place

(Grandma may have some friends who have grandkids--you never know)

If you're a woman, that means don't point to your belly by wearing skin tight clothing or clothes that show off rolls. Or wear sleeveless shirts that draw attention to upper arms.

Besides, it'll probably make you uncomfortable and self-conscious,

which will show up on your face,

and then Hunhee's advice will mean nothing, because you'll be too self-conscious to implement it.

Wear something that is covering below, and has cleavage up top.

Men get mesmerized by boobs. They have awesome powers

Of course, I may be biased. I would've posted Bean's, but they're mine!mine!mine!

That's like saying you're human AND a person

Well, both beauty and other attributes are important to me.

But again, I find bigger women sexy, so fuck the whole "you have a pretty face" crap.

The rest of you is fine too!

Although Hunhee's got a point,

there IS a problem when people with English as a Second Language

talk and type better than those of us that have it as a first one.

Use fucking spellcheck people!

At least in the name of your topic!

(BTW, Hunhee's name spellchecked is "hunger" )

How dating usually works is:

A You find someone attractive as a result of

----their physical attributes

----the confident way they look and act as Hunhee described

B You fall in love with their personality

That also means, be confident in who you are and your interests.

We try wayyy too hard to please other people, and we hide parts of ourselves.

STOP IT, STOP IT NOW!

What you do and what you like IS interesting, to someone.

If you're a geek, who loves D & D and listens to Gloria Estefan, be proud of it!

Know that I will mock you, but that's okay, because you're not dating me, so who the fuck cares?

I'm very picky.

Bean laughs at this, because---Nerdcore, she felt a lot of the anxiety you do.

But she's perfect!! For me.

Which is ALL that matters

And honestly, why the fuck do I want to waste my time dating people who don't fit my personality type?

WHY WOULD ANYONE?

In my life, physically, I've only dated curvy, busty, women 5'-5"

I don't find skinny women attractive.

In the past I was open to dating thin women, but had too many attractive and interesting bigger women, so I never got around to it.

I KNOW I'm not alone.

But Bean is perfect for me, not just because she has a big round ass and breasts that could stop traffic (which she is sweet enough to hide from the viewing public)

Why I'm committing my life to her is because:

--she's quiet and loves to listen and I'm outgoing and self-absorbed and love to talk

--she's a mental health professional and I...need...that

--we both have the same liberal outlook on things

--we both love kids but don't need them to be happy

--we both love literature and the arts

--we both find intelligence very sexy

--we both think Adult Swim is fucking retarded (Hey lay off! I'm not dating any of you!)

--we don't give a damn about video games and refuse to put TVs in bedrooms

--we have complimentary sexual styles (dom/sub) and similar drives

AND

I initially fell in love with her for two reasons (no not those two):

1. I read her posts, and every time, felt, "Yeah, that's exactly how I feel"

I like many of the people on this board, and agree with much of what you have to say,

but there is always something one of you says that I'm like

"Fuck you. I can't believe you said that. I can't believe you really feel that way. Go die"

But with her---EVERY time, I was like "right on, Bean."

(That's anther reason why she works for me

--I'm very intense and she's usually laid back)

2. I fell in love with her poetry.

She's a wonderful writer and I wanted to get to know her more

The point of all this navel gazing IS

Make someone want to get to know YOU more!

But the right person.

Be confident.

Be sexy.

Take pride in yourself and your looks, even if you don't like the way you look.

There will always be people to find your body-type sexy!

BUT UNLESS you take Hunhee's advice they'll never notice you in the first place.

Dress in a way to accentuate yourself and your style.

Then, when you've reeled them in---Be yourself.

Don't bullshit.

The truth will come out later anyway.

And "don't bullshit" doesn't mean unpacking your baggage on the first date.

(You haven't moved in yet.

Leave the baggage at home!)

But be truthful about who you are and what you love.

Talk about what makes you different and interesting.

Maybe you're a writer.

Maybe you're a collector of poisonous plants.

Maybe you've always fantasized about

singing Ave Maria

from the rooftop of Ste Chapelle

in Paris

at midnight

in high heels and liquid latex

while someone was taking a huge diarrhea-laden dump on your ankles.

I don't know.

But don't go on and on, because there's another person there.

THIS NEXT THING IS KEY FOR GUYS (since women are trained to do this)

Take interest in the other person.

LISTEN!

I could talk for hours, but when I first met Bean, I did a lot of listening.

Asked questions that opened her up and made her more comfortable.

Showed that I really wanted to know more about her poetry,

and why she chose psychology,

and what she wanted out of life.

Guys (and gals) need to show that we really care and want to get to know someone more.

And the great thing about this is, once you know the person, you know sooner whether or not they're compatible, or take it in stride, if things don't pan the way you wanted.

These are my thoughts.

___________________________________

I'm insecure. I hate my looks. I hate my weight. I'm in the wrong profession (even tho' I'm damn good at it)

I have a crazy ex, and come from a house with sexual/verbal abuse and neglect.

AND YET-- I've never been without a partner,and I'm about to get married to the most wonderful person in the world.

AND amazingly kind and beautiful person who I met on a goth board filled with people

who have political views I find distasteful,

grammatical skills on a third grade level,

and most of who are so self-absorbed that not only do they make every thread about them

(which I'm doing now-gotta love hypocrisy )

they usually don't even understand or answer the original question that started the thread in the first place.

AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHH

I hope I at least did that.

Nerdcore, you have nothing to worry about.

It's not a matter of if, but when...

...AND

if that person will be good enough for you when you meet him.

You win the award for most stream-of-consciousness person ever!!!!

OK... Now that I read all that... where did my work day go?

EDIT:

To answer the question... My preference is average to thin. It just is. I'm not attracted to bony women, though... I like a reasonable amount of feminine curves, especially in the hips. That said, If we don't click mentally, I'm not interested, no matter how "hot" she might be.

[Homicidalheathen]

If I ever dated a girl who weighed less than me it could only be because she is a dried up corpse.

[MyViolentMachine]

I give a salute to those that do not care about physical appearances, you will probably live a happier life than I.

I require both personality and looks. Sorry but the coolest person in the world is not going to interest me romantically if I am not attracted to their physical looks.

I used to be rail thin in hs 5'10 130-140 and then found the gym and am a pretty happy 200 right now. To me havimg a well built muscular frame as a man is an attractive quality and I will do my best to keep and enhance my own.

In a woman I would like a nice toned body (athletic). Course I also love big boobs which often is not found on an athletic body. So I guess a happy medium may have to be reached somewhere..

[torn asunder]

To answer the question... My preference is average to thin. It just is. I'm not attracted to bony women, though... I like a reasonable amount of feminine curves, especially in the hips. That said, If we don't click mentally, I'm not interested, no matter how "hot" she might be.

agreed, with one caveat - a little "bony" is ok too, as long as it's not bordering on emaciated...

[hunhee]

Apparantly I'm shallow for having a preference in body types...but I will say I love me some skinny men. Someone has to fight for the minority (technically thin people now, 60% of America is either overweight/obese).

No you're not, we all have our preferences (everyone has a right to their own preferences). Like you have a thin preference, some of the others have a preference for larger. Whatever it takes for you to find thin men attractive, there are others that find not so thin HOT.

There are things on men for me, are absolutely necessary (a penis for one). I will forgive slightly balding, but I don't prefer men who are obese. Slightly overweight, fine, like a little belly pooge (although I prefer flat bellies/not necessarily cut). They absolutely have to be taller than me. I am short, you don't have to be the jolly green giant, but you do have to be taller than me.

The absolute thing they CANNOT be is stupid. I cannot stomach a dumb guy. They could be the hottest fucking guy in the world (which I've had more than a few chances to be with). I just don't find myself attracted to that type.

So basically, the entire package.

The thing about the entire package is, you have to be the entire package yourself (the catch).

This thread isn't about who you find attractive, this is how you see yourself, and how to attract what it is you want.

Use the power of positive thought..

Believe you are, and you are..

Cher.. this isn't lying to yourself, there are things on the overweight people that you hang with that you must find attractive in one way or another, otherwise you just wouldn't waste your time on them. I'm not saying sexual attractiveness on that part, but attractive.. maybe you see a bit of your old more overweight self in them, so you wanna help them out to love themselves better. That's a good thing/positive.

Focus on the things you love about yourself. Say for instance, you have beautiful eyes. Accentuate THAT positive. Figure out how to make your eyes POP.. Get the makeup people at Sephora/Ulta to help you out, that's what they're there for.

You have a great set of knockers? Great!! there are shirts that accentuate your knockers, WITHOUT showing off your belly flub.

I always tend to wanna go with classy when I'm trying to impress someone. Whatever I lack in appearance, I usually make up for in personality. As the phrase goes "never let them see you sweat".. OH and trust me they can smell fear a mile away.

Hehe.. the steps on "how to love yourself". This is a very hard road for some of us, easy for others. It's the journey that is the adventure.

So, I guess what I'm saying is love yourself, and others will notice, and you'll have abundance..

EDIT TO SAY: I am definitely not THERE yet, but I'm beginning to like the journey

[Destroit]

No you're not, we all have our preferences (everyone has a right to their own preferences). Like you have a thin preference, some of the others have a preference for larger. Whatever it takes for you to find thin men attractive, there are others that find not so thin HOT.

There are things on men for me, are absolutely necessary (a penis for one). I will forgive slightly balding, but I don't prefer men who are obese. Slightly overweight, fine, like a little belly pooge (although I prefer flat bellies/not necessarily cut). They absolutely have to be taller than me. I am short, you don't have to be the jolly green giant, but you do have to be taller than me.

The absolute thing they CANNOT be is stupid. I cannot stomach a dumb guy. They could be the hottest fucking guy in the world (which I've had more than a few chances to be with). I just don't find myself attracted to that type.

So basically, the entire package.

The thing about the entire package is, you have to be the entire package yourself (the catch).

This thread isn't about who you find attractive, this is how you see yourself, and how to attract what it is you want.

Use the power of positive thought..

Believe you are, and you are..

Cher.. this isn't lying to yourself, there are things on the overweight people that you hang with that you must find attractive in one way or another, otherwise you just wouldn't waste your time on them. I'm not saying sexual attractiveness on that part, but attractive.. maybe you see a bit of your old more overweight self in them, so you wanna help them out to love themselves better. That's a good thing/positive.

Focus on the things you love about yourself. Say for instance, you have beautiful eyes. Accentuate THAT positive. Figure out how to make your eyes POP.. Get the makeup people at Sephora/Ulta to help you out, that's what they're there for.

You have a great set of knockers? Great!! there are shirts that accentuate your knockers, WITHOUT showing off your belly flub.

I always tend to wanna go with classy when I'm trying to impress someone. Whatever I lack in appearance, I usually make up for in personality. As the phrase goes "never let them see you sweat".. OH and trust me they can smell fear a mile away.

Hehe.. the steps on "how to love yourself". This is a very hard road for some of us, easy for others. It's the journey that is the adventure.

So, I guess what I'm saying is love yourself, and others will notice, and you'll have abundance..

EDIT TO SAY: I am definitely not THERE yet, but I'm beginning to like the journey

Good advice, works for most people. Worked for me to a pointtt. I always thought I had a nice face but was like "if ONLY the rest of me was even remotely attractive..." So I had to just suck it up and lose it all or else I knew I'd never be happy.

But I do enjoy my tits more than anyone should and not for any reason that you'd think. I don't enjoy anyone else's tits...but I can rest stuff on mine, squeeze them when I get mad like a stress ball, distract Raven from whatever he's doing, sucker punch people in the face with them (it's possible, I do it to my friends regularly), due to the extra weight push-ups are more effective, I win bets by betting people that I can lick both nipples at the same time, sometimes they type for me if I lean too far forward, and lastly I squeeze them at VERY inappropriate moments for the SOLE purpose of making others feel uncomfortable...say at church or at weddings for instance.

I LOVE making the general public uncomfortable...it's been a long time hobby of mine *grabs left boob and lifts*

[Head Wreck]

i'm shallow. some people carry weight better than others. some women really do not suit being skinny,where some do, some carry the extra weight very well.

thats for the purposes of physical attraction. and i just seem to get more istant to that by the day.

but set of my moronometer and buh-bye

[MyViolentMachine]

But I do enjoy my tits more than anyone should and not for any reason that you'd think. I don't enjoy anyone else's tits...but I can rest stuff on mine, squeeze them when I get mad like a stress ball, distract Raven from whatever he's doing, sucker punch people in the face with them (it's possible, I do it to my friends regularly), due to the extra weight push-ups are more effective, I win bets by betting people that I can lick both nipples at the same time, sometimes they type for me if I lean too far forward, and lastly I squeeze them at VERY inappropriate moments for the SOLE purpose of making others feel uncomfortable...say at church or at weddings for instance.

I LOVE making the general public uncomfortable...it's been a long time hobby of mine *grabs left boob and lifts*

So when i am driving by on my jetski and crash into a boat because you distracted by said acts it is all on you, just so you know...

[Gaf The Horse With Tears]

I prefer a medium to slim build but not rail thing. 8-14 range... Personality and likes/dislikes plays a big role... but a person would have to catch my eye before I would give them a second thought.

[Msterbeau]

OK... So re-reading the question, I didn't really answer it. How do I feel about plus-sized girls? Generally not for me, though there are a few who, though they're somewhat larger then my ideal, I still find attractive because of how they dress and carry themselves.

[Destroit]

So when i am driving by on my jetski and crash into a boat because you distracted by said acts it is all on you, just so you know...

HELL...if I could make someone CRASH a Jet Ski simply by the power of my tits...

I would be the most badassest manliest goth biotch EVER TO LIVE.

So the next time I'm fishing off the shore...I'll keep an eye out

[pomba gira]

Please Eternal.....Tell us how you really feel.....Don't be shy.....

:laugh:

Anyway... I agree with Hunhee. It really is all in how you carry yourself. This becomes obvious at Lifestyle events where you see a lot of gorgeous extra curvy women struttin' their stuff in their sexiest gear. It's all about confidence... although knowing how to pick clothing/lingerie that suits your body type is important, too. Of course in my culture weight is not necessarily equated with unattractiveness (hell, it wasn't in the mainstream culture until what, 40 years ago or thereabouts... Marilyn Monroe wore a size 14-16) so maybe that's just the perspective I'm coming from. But... it does seem to me that it's mostly younger men who totally buy into the current media definition of "beauty". Older guys know what they like and aren't afraid to admit it... plus they tend to value personality and, um, enthusiasm over looks alone.