Nerdcore Posted May 25, 2008 Report Share Posted May 25, 2008 hey how do you guys feel about bbw/plus size girls and guys? are you totally turned off by it .. or do you embrace it. myself im bbw, but im not a slob. im very healthy imo. would anyone date one? opinions please thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev.Reverence Posted May 25, 2008 Report Share Posted May 25, 2008 I am not nor ever been preferential to body type... ..the heart...the mind...THE EYES! that shit matters more...(they say I'm a 'girly' goat{the other goats}hehehe) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freydis Posted May 25, 2008 Report Share Posted May 25, 2008 I dont like rail thin men. I just dont find it attractive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creatureofthenyte Posted May 25, 2008 Report Share Posted May 25, 2008 I have. I like a woman who is healthily proportioned. But Personality is the main make or break factor for me. If I can't have a conversation with the woman, and if we can't be mutually attracted to each other on an emotional/intellectual level, as well as a physical level, then I'm done. If a woman has any kind of ridiculous drama goin on in her life, that can be a major turn-off/dealbreaker for me too. I met a woman recently, and the conversation was good, but then she brought up some real serious drama that she got herself into, and somehow thought I would be ok with being brought into the middle of it....Um no. She sensed that I wasn't gonna be ok with that, and we stopped talking. So yeah, drama is not attractive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pandora Posted May 25, 2008 Report Share Posted May 25, 2008 hey how do you guys feel about bbw/plus size girls and guys? are you totally turned off by it .. or do you embrace it. myself im bbw, but im not a slob. im very healthy imo. would anyone date one? opinions please thanks Short answer, hell yes great men will date/love you. Everyone has their own tastes and I've never had a problem finding awesome men to be in my life. And I'm both BBW and plus size. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nerdcore Posted May 25, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 25, 2008 Short answer, hell yes great men will date/love you. Everyone has their own tastes and I've never had a problem finding awesome men to be in my life. And I'm both BBW and plus size. err can u point me in this direction? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hunhee Posted May 26, 2008 Report Share Posted May 26, 2008 Okay.. define what a BBW (Big Beautiful Woman) as opposed to Plus Sized, I thought they were the same thing?? To answer your question Nerdcore, there are TONS of guys who love a girl with some extra padding. There are also a lot of women who are into big guys. The thing to realize is it's confidence that makes people think you're sexy. If you believe you're the shit, it will shine through, and people will be drawn to you. If you hold your body like you're extremely self conscious and ashamed of it, people will notice, and not be attracted. Like the saying goes "confidence is SEXY" I once had a conversation with a guy, and he was like, the weight of the women isn't that much of a concern for me, it's how comfortable she is in her own skin. This stuck with me, and I've been working on it. I notice a difference on days that I make myself up, I get hit on even while driving in my car, because I feel GOOD about my appearance. The days I feel like a scrub, not so much. It's kind of like the law of attraction.. the more positive you feel about yourself, the more positive the end result. Eye contact is KEY in these types of situations. Someone who is self conscious will not maintain eye contact.. try it. I used to have a VERY hard time with eye contact with people I would pass while walking. .. If I found an attractive guy, I would FORCE myself to keep eye contact, for like two whole seconds. I would count out in my head.. it was agonizing at first, but it got easier and easier over time. After I conquered that, I added a smile.. you'd be amazed how well this works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nerdcore Posted May 26, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 26, 2008 thakns for the advice hunhee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
n0Mad Posted May 26, 2008 Report Share Posted May 26, 2008 I have various preferences but I don't rule anything out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nienna Posted May 26, 2008 Report Share Posted May 26, 2008 I'm on the cusp of plus sized (12/14) and haven't really had an issue finding men who were attracted to me. I have been told that I was "too fat" or "unattractive" because of my weight and have been rejected for this reason as well. My theory is that I take good care of myself and am healthy at the weight that I am. If they don't like it, they don't need to be with me. That being said, I can be attracted to someone of either gender who has alittle extra, but would struggle with someone who was very obese. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Constantin Posted May 26, 2008 Report Share Posted May 26, 2008 it is hard to be in the plus category i am in the low 190's and i still feel over weight i was 265 at my peek and that was from 14 to 18. then i had a 3 5th's of many liquers and a knife night and came to the conclusion i should change things in my life the first 5 monthes after that i went down to 220 and held it off for a few years i had got alot of compliments from people so i thought my weight was good enough for a while then last year i wanted to do better so i set my goal for 180. i forget the point of what i am saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jynxxxedangel Posted May 26, 2008 Report Share Posted May 26, 2008 Here's the perfect YouTube clip to fit the moment.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iE5Zytj45fI P.S. I tend to go for guys with a shed over their tool, myself..gotta have something to grind on-- and girls with meat on their bones are much nicer to snuggle with..no doubt about it!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GothicRavenGoddess (3) Posted May 26, 2008 Report Share Posted May 26, 2008 my baby's thin, and we are working on getting him back to a healthy weight (he has some health issues for the past 2 years that are clearing up) I don't care what he looks like, tho. He's beautiful... but then again, i can see his soul (and no that's not a sappy thing to say.... its the deep down truth)... and he loves me... all 210 lbs of me.... lol so... we are working one getting us HEALTHY.... hehehe... i love him for him.. he just happens to be thin... i dated a guy that was bigger.... i don't have a preference, but when ya gotta move your roll out the way o see your junk, then that's just yucky.... Edit to say: maybe i do... I did have a crush on DBK, for the longest time... teehee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Constantin Posted May 26, 2008 Report Share Posted May 26, 2008 P.S. I tend to go for guys with a shed over their tool, myself..gotta have something to grind on-- and girls with meat on their bones are much nicer to snuggle with..no doubt about it!! hey hey whatchu doin lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homicidalheathen Posted May 26, 2008 Report Share Posted May 26, 2008 I have gotten over some of my prejudice about it...I don't mind full figure girls but still get turned off by morbidly obese....however personality wins out over that eventually... There are levels I would go with someone...cuddles and kisses to anyone who is nice and pretty in the face.... Full sex if your a bit tubby. So depends on the mood and person. But I don't like anhorexic as much as I used to since I got sick and had to put on weight myself...I have seen what it can do to the body and its not good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightgaunt Posted June 4, 2008 Report Share Posted June 4, 2008 Wow. Exactly what I was going to say. Personally, at this point in my life, I'm more concerned with things like common interests, sense of humor, moxie, etc. That's not to say there aren't certain physical characteristics that I prefer over others, but it's not of paramount importance. I'm definitely not a slave to our culture's current standard of "beauty". Okay.. define what a BBW (Big Beautiful Woman) as opposed to Plus Sized, I thought they were the same thing?? To answer your question Nerdcore, there are TONS of guys who love a girl with some extra padding. There are also a lot of women who are into big guys. The thing to realize is it's confidence that makes people think you're sexy. If you believe you're the shit, it will shine through, and people will be drawn to you. If you hold your body like you're extremely self conscious and ashamed of it, people will notice, and not be attracted. Like the saying goes "confidence is SEXY" I once had a conversation with a guy, and he was like, the weight of the women isn't that much of a concern for me, it's how comfortable she is in her own skin. This stuck with me, and I've been working on it. I notice a difference on days that I make myself up, I get hit on even while driving in my car, because I feel GOOD about my appearance. The days I feel like a scrub, not so much. It's kind of like the law of attraction.. the more positive you feel about yourself, the more positive the end result. Eye contact is KEY in these types of situations. Someone who is self conscious will not maintain eye contact.. try it. I used to have a VERY hard time with eye contact with people I would pass while walking. .. If I found an attractive guy, I would FORCE myself to keep eye contact, for like two whole seconds. I would count out in my head.. it was agonizing at first, but it got easier and easier over time. After I conquered that, I added a smile.. you'd be amazed how well this works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hunhee Posted June 4, 2008 Report Share Posted June 4, 2008 Wow. Exactly what I was going to say. Personally, at this point in my life, I'm more concerned with things like common interests, sense of humor, moxie, etc. That's not to say there aren't certain physical characteristics that I prefer over others, but it's not of paramount importance. I'm definitely not a slave to our culture's current standard of "beauty". Or our low standards regarding the English language. Nice post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Draco1958 Posted July 1, 2008 Report Share Posted July 1, 2008 I am not nor ever been preferential to body type.....the heart...the mind...THE EYES! that shit matters more...(they say I'm a 'girly' goat{the other goats}hehehe) I couldn't agree more with this. Here's the perfect YouTube clip to fit the moment.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iE5Zytj45fI P.S. I tend to go for guys with a shed over their tool, myself..gotta have something to grind on-- and girls with meat on their bones are much nicer to snuggle with..no doubt about it!! I've been losing some weight so the shed is a smaller one than before. But it's still there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oh_My_Goth Posted July 1, 2008 Report Share Posted July 1, 2008 I only go for tall trim dorky guys..... Seriously..... I like all types of ladies though, as long as they AWESOME people..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goth Brooks Posted July 1, 2008 Report Share Posted July 1, 2008 P.S. I tend to go for guys with a shed over their tool, myself..gotta have something to grind on-- Well I'm out of the running. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the eternal Posted July 1, 2008 Report Share Posted July 1, 2008 WARNING: This post is at a length not suitable for children. You may want to avoid reading this if you suffer from: heart murmurs high cholesterol pregnancy high self-esteem ADD ADHD Supercalifragilisticexpiolodocious Bi-Polar Disorder the runs the bends love in an elevator temporary euphoria or is a working mother who is expressing milk while on hold with a customer service representative in Calcutta and Ferozepur City. _______________________________________________________________________________ First of all, great post Hunhee! That's very true. As for guys that mope that they aren't getting women because of their weight or age, women notice personality over looks even more we do. So, I'm going to take Hunhee's spot on assessment of the flirt and move on to the next step "meet and greet" (which we're already at on the board). Stop the self-deprecation, it's annoying. it's cloying, and for those of you that're thin already, it seems like you're fishing for compliments (I've had my issues with it myself--either viewing my self as wimpy or fat) Regardless, it wont get you a date. Here's what else WON'T get you a date: ----Talking about how sexy an underage relative of yours is (eww!!) (if you're a man) ---making leering comments about "the ladies" or their anatomy or about how dirty your mind is because you made a double entendre when there was none there, even on DGN. Hello, these women don't know you! If you're trying to make a joke fine, but it won't get you a date NEVER NEVER NEVER (now if you're a woman-making objectifying comments about us are usu. welcome-- we are not used to such comments and are therefore usually more susceptible to them) (if you're a man) ---talking about you're dick size is a no-no. Apparently I used to do this when I first came on. I don't rem. doing it, but I wont deny it. I was horny. Bean fell in love with me despite of that, not because of it. It's sleazy. And desperate. It's okay to FEEL sleazy and desperate. Just like it's okay, to FEEL fat, ugly, loser-ish. It's NOT okay to act that way. Because here's the thing: Whatever you're insecure about is overblown, and you may not know this, BUT you're actually suffering from a treatable disease. ________________________________________________________ ACCD Acute Confidence Deficit Disorder, But now there IS help: ilovemevia It gives you the confidence you never knew you had. See your doctor to find out if Ilovemevia is right for you ____________________________________________________________________ To answer your main question: there are ALWAYS people out there that want someone like you, whoever you are. The KEY is finding those people. And doing the right things to attract them. (Now, back to my penis-- dick size comments are bad but if you're a woman, talking about your breast size, if they are large, as they often are for BBWs, ARE usu. welcome, esp if you're online and men haven't seen you yet-- (((((((Men love boobs))))) Just don't do it all the time. Men like to be lured, not beaten over the head. For MEN and WOMEN Don't talk about: how much of a loser you are how you can't keep a job how much you hate your ex how difficult your kids are your time in the mental ward your fight with eating disorders how you live with your mom how no one wants to date you (hello! red flag) how no one should want to date you If we fall in love with you, we will figure all those things out. We just want to get know you first. Once we've fallen for you, we'll accept your faults, because we're chock full of em too! Another thing: Dress appropriately!!!!!! Wear something that flatters your figure and is appropriate for the occasion. What you wear to Fetish Fest will be different than Grandma's 90th b-day bash. But you might meet that special someone either place (Grandma may have some friends who have grandkids--you never know) If you're a woman, that means don't point to your belly by wearing skin tight clothing or clothes that show off rolls. Or wear sleeveless shirts that draw attention to upper arms. Besides, it'll probably make you uncomfortable and self-conscious, which will show up on your face, and then Hunhee's advice will mean nothing, because you'll be too self-conscious to implement it. Wear something that is covering below, and has cleavage up top. Men get mesmerized by boobs. They have awesome powers Of course, I may be biased. I would've posted Bean's, but they're mine!mine!mine! Short answer, hell yes great men will date/love you. I'm both BBW and plus size. That's like saying you're human AND a person Personally, at this point in my life, I'm more concerned with things like common interests, sense of humor, moxie, etc. That's not to say there aren't certain physical characteristics that I prefer over others, but it's not of paramount importance. I'm definitely not a slave to our culture's current standard of "beauty". Or our low standards regarding the English language. Nice post Well, both beauty and other attributes are important to me. But again, I find bigger women sexy, so fuck the whole "you have a pretty face" crap. The rest of you is fine too! Although Hunhee's got a point, there IS a problem when people with English as a Second Language talk and type better than those of us that have it as a first one. Use fucking spellcheck people! At least in the name of your topic! (BTW, Hunhee's name spellchecked is "hunger" ) How dating usually works is: A You find someone attractive as a result of ----their physical attributes ----the confident way they look and act as Hunhee described B You fall in love with their personality That also means, be confident in who you are and your interests. We try wayyy too hard to please other people, and we hide parts of ourselves. STOP IT, STOP IT NOW! What you do and what you like IS interesting, to someone. If you're a geek, who loves D & D and listens to Gloria Estefan, be proud of it! Know that I will mock you, but that's okay, because you're not dating me, so who the fuck cares? I'm very picky. Bean laughs at this, because---Nerdcore, she felt a lot of the anxiety you do. But she's perfect!! For me. Which is ALL that matters And honestly, why the fuck do I want to waste my time dating people who don't fit my personality type? WHY WOULD ANYONE? In my life, physically, I've only dated curvy, busty, women 5'-5" I don't find skinny women attractive. In the past I was open to dating thin women, but had too many attractive and interesting bigger women, so I never got around to it. I KNOW I'm not alone. But Bean is perfect for me, not just because she has a big round ass and breasts that could stop traffic (which she is sweet enough to hide from the viewing public) Why I'm committing my life to her is because: --she's quiet and loves to listen and I'm outgoing and self-absorbed and love to talk --she's a mental health professional and I...need...that --we both have the same liberal outlook on things --we both love kids but don't need them to be happy --we both love literature and the arts --we both find intelligence very sexy --we both think Adult Swim is fucking retarded (Hey lay off! I'm not dating any of you!) --we don't give a damn about video games and refuse to put TVs in bedrooms --we have complimentary sexual styles (dom/sub) and similar drives AND I initially fell in love with her for two reasons (no not those two): 1. I read her posts, and every time, felt, "Yeah, that's exactly how I feel" I like many of the people on this board, and agree with much of what you have to say, but there is always something one of you says that I'm like "Fuck you. I can't believe you said that. I can't believe you really feel that way. Go die" But with her---EVERY time, I was like "right on, Bean." (That's anther reason why she works for me --I'm very intense and she's usually laid back) 2. I fell in love with her poetry. She's a wonderful writer and I wanted to get to know her more The point of all this navel gazing IS Make someone want to get to know YOU more! But the right person. Be confident. Be sexy. Take pride in yourself and your looks, even if you don't like the way you look. There will always be people to find your body-type sexy! BUT UNLESS you take Hunhee's advice they'll never notice you in the first place. Dress in a way to accentuate yourself and your style. Then, when you've reeled them in---Be yourself. Don't bullshit. The truth will come out later anyway. And "don't bullshit" doesn't mean unpacking your baggage on the first date. (You haven't moved in yet. Leave the baggage at home!) But be truthful about who you are and what you love. Talk about what makes you different and interesting. Maybe you're a writer. Maybe you're a collector of poisonous plants. Maybe you've always fantasized about singing Ave Maria from the rooftop of Ste Chapelle in Paris at midnight in high heels and liquid latex while someone was taking a huge diarrhea-laden dump on your ankles. I don't know. But don't go on and on, because there's another person there. THIS NEXT THING IS KEY FOR GUYS (since women are trained to do this) Take interest in the other person. LISTEN! I could talk for hours, but when I first met Bean, I did a lot of listening. Asked questions that opened her up and made her more comfortable. Showed that I really wanted to know more about her poetry, and why she chose psychology, and what she wanted out of life. Guys (and gals) need to show that we really care and want to get to know someone more. And the great thing about this is, once you know the person, you know sooner whether or not they're compatible, or take it in stride, if things don't pan the way you wanted. These are my thoughts. ___________________________________ I'm insecure. I hate my looks. I hate my weight. I'm in the wrong profession (even tho' I'm damn good at it) I have a crazy ex, and come from a house with sexual/verbal abuse and neglect. AND YET-- I've never been without a partner,and I'm about to get married to the most wonderful person in the world. AND amazingly kind and beautiful person who I met on a goth board filled with people who have political views I find distasteful, grammatical skills on a third grade level, and most of who are so self-absorbed that not only do they make every thread about them (which I'm doing now-gotta love hypocrisy ) they usually don't even understand or answer the original question that started the thread in the first place. AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHH I hope I at least did that. Nerdcore, you have nothing to worry about. It's not a matter of if, but when... ...AND if that person will be good enough for you when you meet him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oh_My_Goth Posted July 1, 2008 Report Share Posted July 1, 2008 Please Eternal.....Tell us how you really feel.....Don't be shy..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hunhee Posted July 1, 2008 Report Share Posted July 1, 2008 Listen to The_Eternal, he says some really good stuff in that post. Yes, I read the whole thing, every last word. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev.Reverence Posted July 1, 2008 Report Share Posted July 1, 2008 WARNING: This post is at a length not suitable for children. You may want to avoid reading this if you sufferfrom: heart murmurs high cholesterol pregnancy high self-esteem ADD ADHD Supercalifragilisticexpiolodocious Bi-Polar Disorder the runs the bends love in an elevator temporary euphoria or is a working mother who is expressing milk while on hold with a customer service representative in Calcutta and Ferozepur City. _______________________________________________________________________________ Well I'm on that list like 3 times...but I'll read it later anyway! I only said later 'cause I'm short on time... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miranda Posted July 1, 2008 Report Share Posted July 1, 2008 Hehe, I know this chick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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