Interracial Relationships..

[Burrich1]

I dated a black girl in college for 1.5 years. I was going to Oakland University at the time. (92-93) We got lots of dirty looks from white people. I could handle that. The black people were much more confrontational. I use to hate getting in an elevator with her at Oakland, and have a couple of black guys follow us in. I never considered myself racist, but Christ, I feared for my life a few times, with good reason, in that situation.

Also, she was not allowed in my parent’s house. This drove me nuts, and created a huge wedge between me and my Mom and Dad which lasted for quite a few years. Ironically, they denied this rule when I confronted them about it due to another situation years later. They also claimed the reason I never brought her around must have been because I was embarrassed of her. GGGRRRRR. They were thrilled when our life plans and goals changed and we stopped seeing each other.

Except for having to deal with the douche bag factor, I don’t have any problem at all with it. And as long as your not about to get hurt, the douche bag factor is easy to ignore. Ignorant fucks. I'd like to think, even in Detroit, we've progressed a lot as a society in the last 15 years. Or maybe we haven’t and I just don't give a fuck what others think.

[pomba gira]

OK, maybe I live in my own little world, but I've only ever HAD interracial relationships. I'm really not that attracted to men of Asian decent (I'm not saying NO Asian man, but it's more rare).

So, umm..what do you guys think about interracial relations/dating/families.

What are your views on this.. I'm not saying your own personal views, but you can share those if you'd like. I'm more interested in what you think how the rest of the world views interracial relationships. I only ask because I was on msn.com and they have a whole section on it, "share your stories/struggles/triumphs". I didn't know there was something to triumph over when it came to interracial relationships. Am I naive in this assumption?

Also, have you ever had an interracial relationship? Did you get shunned or looked down upon because of it?

If the creator didn't mean for us to mix, we wouldn't be able to have babies together. AFA I'm concerned there's really only one race... human.

As for how the world views it... well, depends on where you are. I would never live in the south as part of a mixed couple, you hear too many stories. I imagine it's safe enough in large cities, but I like going for drives in the country and whatnot... so... no way. Especially nowadays when the SPLC is reporting a huge growth in hate groups over the past couple years.

Prolly been at least 25 years since I was in anything BUT an "interracial" relationship. I'm a confirmed snowbird... love my brothers but can't deal with 'em on a romantic level. Done apologizing for it, that's just the way I'm wired.

Don't know that I've had any real "struggles or triumphs" but that is largely a matter of luck & location. My first husband & I lived in San Francisco in the mid-late '80s... we never had any hassles there, but when we'd visit back here (Lansing and Detroit) we got the occasional rude comment... always from black men as I recall. By the time I moved back here in '90 things were beginning to change... white women with little brown children were a fairly common sight here in Lansing, still rare in Detroit. Second hubby & I lived in Detroit/Hamtramck for about 5 years and never had any problems. IMHO "interracial" couples are still more common here than down in the Metro, but then again I haven't been down there all that much the past few years. I do know my mother often comments on all the "little brown babies" she sees up here. Speaking of which, my family has always been accepting... I know my MaMa would prefer me to be with some nice professonal black guy, but she knows that ain't gonna happen so she doesn't worry about it. She's just grateful that I finally got around to the "nice professional" part. There is precedent in my family tho, my paternal uncle married a caucasian woman back in the mid-'60s. I remember there was an article in the paper about them... I guess a lifestyles piece about the racism they had to face, etc. I'm very conscious of being blessed that my family has accepted both hubbies and Josh... family pressures can make any relationship near-impossible.

Back to the "struggles and triumphs", only two incidents stand out in memory over the years. First: went to a college BF's Bloomfield Hills home. His mother barely spoke to me, didn't invite me in past the foyer, and I swear had tears in her eyes the whole time I was there. They did have me over for dinner later, where Mom tried to be marginally civil but Dad ignored me. Being young and easily offended, I was ready to marry this guy and have kids just to spite the folks.

Second: when I moved back here from the Bay Area with my asshole BF in tow. We ran out of $$ the second day due to the same substance abuse issues that were causing me to move back in the first place. Friends had told us about Travelers' Aid, that as long as you could prove you had a destination & not just on the Rainbow Trail, they'd help if you were stranded. So at this point we're somewhere in Texas, I remember Amarillo was the next city. We called Traveler's Aid in Amarillo and explained the situation. They said of course they could help, come on in. So we finally make it to Amarillo and find the place, go in... and instantly everything changed. They had all kinds of excuses why they couldn't help us, and suggested my BF go to the day labor place and get work. Explaining that the driveaway car had to be in Detroit in 3 days didn't help. They very begrudgingly let us make a (collect) call on their phone so I could beg a relative to wire me loot. This one sticks in my mind because they were SO obvious about it. I guess that's Texas for you.

BTW, Chernobyl, Detroit's racial issues were already deeply entrenched by the time the Rebellion of '67 happened... that's one reason it DID happen. Yes, it did speed up the "white flight" to the suburbs, but that was already well on its way. This post is already getting Eternal-ish, so I'll just refer to this interesting info about the 1943 Detroit riot

[GothicRavenGoddess (3)]

my father is the result in an inter-racial relationship. Me thinks that i wouldn't be as pretty as I am (and i don't meant that conceitedly, tho I'm sure that's how it will be taken) if he wasn't.

growing up, it wasn't directly frowned upon, until i reached dating age. my dad told me he didn't want me "bringing home any chocolate babies" (that was before I found out he's mixed. and come to find out, he didn't want my kids to go through the same shit he went through, growing up-tho he could have said as much)....

personally, mixed babies no matter what nationality, are prettier. and to me, as long as the person doesn't hurt you, any kids you may have, or put you in a situation to where you could/would get hurt, then i could care less what color ya are. I am personally drawn to white-ish males. (dated a guy that was mixed, but had light skin) Tho i have had a deep crush on someone who.... wasn't so pale... he's a dark chocolate.. and has pretty vocals... . my feelings toward those who are in inter-racial relationships: Love is love, doesn't have a color...

but i am happy w/ my beautiful man. He looks something like carved marble.

edit: "and" & "any" DO NOT mean the same thing

PS: I grew up in SC, where not too long ago, they lifted the ban on interracial marriages.. and i mean blacks and whites getting married... and when i say "not too long ago" i mean it happened in my lifetime.

[Fledermaus]

I don't really care about skin- or haircolor, religion, design of the nose, lenght of legs, corpulent or thin, broad or narrow hands, scrubbily or styled brows *g*...

It's hard enough to find another soul, who is ready to invest real respect, intelligenz and curiosity in you and is open enough for granting the same to you. Why should I waste my short time on this earth with facile restrictions; the human behind the body is most important, not the body itself...

Maybe, a relatinsship between two different cultures or religions (not races) could produce some problems 'cause of the different way of living and the different views about the gender equality. But that's also a interpersonal thing, that could be solved by the two partners.

When I was seventeen, I had for a little time a turkish boyfriend. My mother was very afraid of the difficulties, that could be due to this relationship in her opinion. She never would say hello to this guy and me and my mother often disputed hard about it. To date I can't understand her countenance and I hope I will doing it better with my son, when he is in the same age.

Fledermaus

[Bernadette]

I have no issue with people 'crossing racial lines' ... it is a shame that people can't be accepting of the couple -- if they know them or not. If you find happiness, you gotta go with it!

I was in a relationship with an Asian American man for 3yrs awhile back. It put a HUGE strain on my relationship with my Mom. I would try to have them spend time together to get to know each other, but my Mom would always find a way to physically remove herself from the situation. She threatened to disown me. It was tough. And even after the relationship didn't work out, our relationship was tense for quite some time. I think there was more going on there with my Mom though, not just issues with him being Asian. His family was very accepting and friendly, but I have to admit that family gatherings were hard and a bit awkard -- as I was the only one non-Cantonese and not able to speak their language.

[sass_in_the_pants]

It depends.

Is he hot?

[Msterbeau]

It depends.

Is he hot?

No. But there's a significant inheritance involved.

[sass_in_the_pants]

No. But there's a significant inheritance involved.

That will also do nicely.

I approve.

[Michiko_Dreads]

Interracial relationships and marriages created my bloodline.

Moms Side:

GrandMa Native American

GrandDad Black

Dads Side

GrandMa Native American

GrandDad Black

My Mom 50/50

My Dad 50/50

Races Married into my family:

Japanese

Cuban

Italian

My dads kids are a mix of these races:

14+ kids

Native American

Black

Italian

White

Polish or something like that

Me personally I date outside my race due to lack of interest and intelligence in young men my age group. I love interracial relationships it gives both people in the realtionship a chance to learn and explore each others family and curiousties.

I deem interracial relationships healthy and madatory.

DARE TO EXPLORE THE UNKNOWN DAMMMIT

[Msterbeau]

Interracial relationships and marriages created my bloodline.

Moms Side:

GrandMa Native American

GrandDad Black

Dads Side

GrandMa Native American

GrandDad Black

My Mom 50/50

My Dad 50/50

Races Married into my family:

Japanese

Cuban

Italian

My dads kids are a mix of these races:

14+ kids

Native American

Black

Italian

White

Polish or something like that

Me personally I date outside my race due to lack of interest and intelligence in young men my age group. I love interracial relationships it gives both people in the realtionship a chance to learn and explore each others family and curiousties.

I deem interracial relationships healthy and madatory.

DARE TO EXPLORE THE UNKNOWN DAMMMIT

Wait.. You don't have one race... No matter what it's interracial. Even with yourself.

[Rev.Reverence]

If the creator didn't mean for us to mix, we wouldn't be able to have babies together. AFA I'm concerned there's really only one race... human.

YAY

Maybe, a relatinsship between two different cultures or religions (not races) could produce some problems 'cause of the different way of living and the different views about the gender equality. But that's also a interpersonal thing, that could be solved by the two partners.

YAY

I am finding it surprising (not in a good way) how many intelligent people KEEP using the term "RACE".

Once that is a myth dispelled...we can look for the next step toward one Nation.

[Michiko_Dreads]

Wait.. You don't have one race... No matter what it's interracial. Even with yourself.

I know.

This is how many family looks------->>>>

[Goth Brooks]

I am attracted to men of all races a hottie is a hottie. But seriously i think if i were to have children and want to raise them with jewish i can't aee marrying a non jewish man. The way it works is if the woman is jewish the children are jewish. If the man is a Jew but the womman is not their kids are not jewish. So no matter what my kids will be jews. But i feel like if i married a man with no beliefs or oppsite beleifs it would cause confusion in my child's mind. Should they go to shul (synogauge) or to church? Jesus or no Jesus? I dont want to be saying one thing and my husband saying another. A lot of people disagree with me and i feel that this is the person that i want to share my body, my mind, my heart, my soul, and my life with. Why can't i be picky? It doesn't make a person a racist because they know what they want. i kind of want a man that can sing sabbath songs and bless the wine on the sabbath.

Further more you can't control your heart and you love who you love. Sometimes we cant choose. I have gone for the oppsite.

i loooooooooooove jewish women.

and the jewish religion is one i would have absolutely no problem being taught to my child (god i just want one >.<)....

marry me? ;p

[Fledermaus]

I am finding it surprising (not in a good way) how many intelligent people KEEP using the term "RACE".

Once that is a myth dispelled...we can look for the next step toward one Nation.

If I would find this issue in a german community that would be the one point I like to note. Actually in germany the item "race" is extremely bonded with the second worldwar and the ideology of the nazis. Nobody would like to use this word.

But I don't know which kind of quality the word "race" or "racial" at usa have? I suppose in view of the history of america it would seen in a different coherence.

Although which not means that the germans have no necessity to discuss this issue. *sigh*

Fledermaus ^°°^

[Bernadette]

I thought about bringing up other disparities / diversity that might also be treated the same as 'race' -- different culture (transplanted from a different part of the country), different thinking, different religion, etc... but I was trying to stay true to the thread. But we can open that path... all those can be considered or perceived similarly to interracial relationships -- but are not as evident or obvious by the casual bystander. (i.e. when walking down the street in public)

[Homicidalheathen]

I like black guys if they are not all ghetto. I hate rap and pants falling off your ass.

And I appreciate people who speak well.

There is this one black guy who talks so ghetto I can't understand him on the phone and I get quite impatient. so I always excuse myself and now he thinks I don't like him....I just don't like the way he talks. Its almost like inner city people sometimes have this southern thing going on. Its like an accent in a way. Drives me nuts.

I will date one if he is not 'thugish'

Personally I think we are suppose to mix...it would get rid of most skin cancers and sickle cell anemia

[hunhee]

I guess I played the "race" card because it's the most easily recognizable. I can definitely understand different creeds, different backgrounds, different ways of thinking are probably even MORE of a factor than the colour of one's skin, but unfortunately you can't always see this when people are walking together down the street hand in hand. It's always the "race/skin colour" that gets noticed.

AND it's how OTHERS perceive you, and not how you personally deal with the issue (in the relationship). I know I asked how many have had interracial relationships, but I think my underlying meaning was, how many have had one, and had problems with the way other's deal with them. I'm guessing if you're in an interracial relationship, you're pretty okay with the situation, or else, you just wouldn't get involved.

[Goth Brooks]

I dislike seeing black guys and white girls together.

For pretty much the same reason Michiko Dreads doesn't date black guys. I've never seen an intelligent, clean cut black man dating a white girl.. it's always white trash skanks and ghetto ass "Gs".

As for black girl? Stephen Lynch said it best:

Have a seat and listen, please don't say a thing

In matters of the heart sometimes, the truth will have a sting

Just don't take it personally, this is no attack

But we will never last because I am white and you are...also white

I only like black girls and brown girls, the café au lait

Caramel girls, and mocha girls just blow me away

If your a nubian, I want you to-be in every fantasy

But if you're a whitey, say nighty-nighty, your just not the girl for me

Oh I hate vanilla ice cream, I like chocolate instead

I hope she likes her soul food with a little Wonder Bread

Don't call it Jungle Fever cause that just isn't right

I am not a racist, some of my best friends are white

I just prefer black girls, the brown girls, the café au lait

Caramel girls and mocha girls just blow me away. If you're a cracker, you better get blacker or else you best get out

It is no mystery, I like a sister see that's what I'm talkin about

Our wedding song will be "Ebony and Ivory", and we'll sing Christmas carols round the old Kwanza tree

But color is not the issue here, it's dignity, it's class

It's all about her heart, okay it's partly about that ass

I want me some black girl, the brown girl, the café au lait

Caramel girls, and mocha girls, just blow me away

If you're a honkey, you're singin the wrong key, it's the honest truth

The skin that she's dwellin in, must contain melanin, that is the Fountain of Youth.

Thomas Jefferson.

Robert DeNiro.

David Bowie.

To a certain extent...Ted Dansen.

Strom Thurmond!!! Strom Thurmond!!! yeeeahh...

[pomba gira]

Its almost like inner city people sometimes have this southern thing going on. Its like an accent in a way.

That is because most urban black people in this part of the country originally came from the south during the Great Migration years. Most people my age had grandparents or other relatives in the south. So on top of the "black english" dialect, there are a lot of southern idioms & pronunciations. I remember when I first moved to San Francisco, a black lady at SF General Hospital instantly pegged me as being either from Chicago or Detroit. If you'd asked me at the time, I would have sworn I had no accent whatsoever (and I certainly didn't s peak the dialect).

[Rev.Reverence]

If I would find this issue in a german community that would be the one point I like to note. Actually in germany the item "race" is extremely bonded with the second worldwar and the ideology of the nazis. Nobody would like to use this word.

But I don't know which kind of quality the word "race" or "racial" at usa have? I suppose in view of the history of america it would seen in a different coherence.

Although which not means that the germans have no necessity to discuss this issue. *sigh*

Fledermaus ^°°^

Some body else chime in as well...

race2 /reɪs/ Pronunciation Key -

–noun

1. a group of persons related by common descent or heredity.

Since we ALL are genetically compatible and descended from One Tribe...(in Ethiopia)...I SEE ONE RACE...

SADDLY I watch as my country rips itself apart using the OLD Anthropological definition...

race2 /reɪs/

–noun

3.Anthropology.

a.any of the traditional divisions of humankind, the commonest being the Caucasian, Mongoloid, and Negro, characterized by supposedly distinctive and universal physical characteristics: no longer in technical use.

b.an arbitrary classification of modern humans, sometimes, esp. formerly, based on any or a combination of various physical characteristics, as skin color, facial form, or eye shape, and now frequently based on such genetic markers as blood groups.

c. a human population partially isolated reproductively from other populations, whose members share a greater degree of physical and genetic similarity with one another than with other humans.

No longer in use MY ASS!!!

MORE in use...by the "American" race!..Which is an oxymoron...That I hope I do not HAVE to explain...

(BUT YOU KNOW I WILL IF I HAVE TO)

[pomba gira]

But I don't know which kind of quality the word "race" or "racial" at usa have? I suppose in view of the history of america it would seen in a different coherence.

Fledermaus ^°°^

Nothing positive, that's for sure. As I see it, "race" is just a convenient excuse for "other-izing" and ultimately demonizing anyone who looks "different" from oneself. It's so much easier to dismiss "those people" as fundamentally different from "us", than to focus on the commonality that might (gasp!) move us to accept each other as equals. And that, to me, is "race" in the US- an artificial but deeply-rooted construct that keeps people separate... and therefore prevents us from joining together to REALLY change things.

And, Goth Brooks, I know what you mean... but... the male ghetto trash/female trailer trash pairing is just easier to spot 'cos those types tend to be more visible out there on the mean streets... while their more upmarket counterparts are kicking back by the pool out in the burbs. You see black male/caucasian female pairings fairly often in the world of academia. And I can think of at least three such couples in my own eminently bourggie extended family... for example my cousin the rocket scientist and his programmer/liberal blogger wife.

[sass_in_the_pants]

And I can think of at least three such couples in my own eminently bourggie extended family... for example my cousin the rocket scientist and his programmer/liberal blogger wife.

Either

A. Your cousin is Antwan and his wife is Elizabeth and it's a WAY smaller world than it should be

or

B. Your cousin is not Antwan, and his wife is not Elizabeth and it's a WAY weirder world than it should be cuz what are the odds that we both know a black rocket scientist married to a programmer/liberal blogger? Shit, what are the odds we both know a rocket scientist?

I can't believe what people consider a different race...well, if all THAT counts...

I don't care to recite my dating history, but it was like a hot naked United Colors of Benneton ad.

I will say, though, that of the four or so black guys I dated, they all had shaved heads. It's just a thing with me.

No one really cared, except for my grandpa who did not approve. Then I said 'Yes, he's black. He's also disgustingly rich, Republican and Catholic'

Grandpa then took him golfing. He's funny like that.

[pomba gira]

Either

A. Your cousin is Antwan and his wife is Elizabeth and it's a WAY smaller world than it should be

or

B. Your cousin is not Antwan, and his wife is not Elizabeth and it's a WAY weirder world than it should be cuz what are the odds that we both know a black rocket scientist married to a programmer/liberal blogger? Shit, what are the odds we both know a rocket scientist?

I can't believe what people consider a different race...well, if all THAT counts...

I don't care to recite my dating history, but it was like a hot naked United Colors of Benneton ad.

I will say, though, that of the four or so black guys I dated, they all had shaved heads. It's just a thing with me.

No one really cared, except for my grandpa who did not approve. Then I said 'Yes, he's black. He's also disgustingly rich, Republican and Catholic'

Grandpa then took him golfing. He's funny like that.

That would be "B"... their names are Roger & Yvonne. And yes, that is weirdness indeed. Or synchronicity, or whatever you want'a call it. Not quite as much as I first thought however- now that I think about it, she's actually a web designer not a programmer. Hell, one of them kinds of geeky tech gigs!

[GothicRavenGoddess (3)]

what most ppl fail to realize (general post here, not doggin on anyone here) is that we are all homo sapien. ppl view a (for example) black person and white person dating, like one of them is not human or something....

i have a preference as to what i like, but its not like i go looking for that person.... the love of my life just HAPPENS to be as pale as white marble (i love my gothic guys).. plus, he looks like a romanticized vampire

i could care less who ppl date, as long as they are doing it for love, or romance, and not to look good... or just for the sake of dating someone who has different skin... if your gonna date someone, date them cuz you like them, not cuz you want attention from strangers.

[thewhiterecluse]

Beauty comes in all different shades.