the pursuit of someone who's already taken

[Guest GodfallenPromos]

Yup...grow a pair!

..wait...GFPromo.....didn't I hear someone tell you that...on the 4th...that was the night!

OOhhh...yeah!...it was ME!

yes cousin..it was you...but you know my fears...and you know how much the "shyt or get off the pot" philosphy will set me back...like at least 5 years...it's coming soon...trsut me...after some stuff I been hearing lately...it's coming REAL soon...but I got to get some things together FIRST...

[hunhee]

haha!!Good thing I'm not a ball fondler.

hehe.. Umm.. I'm not either?

Things are rarely black and white....

This is way more true than anything else, and every situation is different and individual.

It is impossible to ever be sure a relationship will not end.....

{Not being a Dick, I just had to say something.....}

I wanted to say this as well.

[Rev.Reverence]

yes cousin..it was you...but you know my fears...and you know how much the "shyt or get off the pot" philosphy will set me back...like at least 5 years...it's coming soon...trsut me...after some stuff I been hearing lately...it's coming REAL soon...but I got to get some things together FIRST...

Then push harder...*points at head*...& carry on!

[hunhee]

Then push harder...*points at head*...& carry on!

I think what he's trying to say is.. you can't push a rope..

[Rev.Reverence]

I think what he's trying to say is.. you can't push a rope..

THEN PULL HARDER..!

[EnViOuSPoPpEt]

Well it depends...

I have been in these shoes, in different variations many times, and still I found the love of my life, by making that decision and surrendering my heart, only to find the shining light at the other end of the tunnel...

So the story goes. I was dating this guy for 2 months(let's just call him Bob), so it was nothing serious we were just getting to know each other, and the more I spend time with him the more I didn't like him.

When I am in a relationship I like to spend as much time with the person as possible ( in my eyes that gives you less time wasted if things don't work out and also an insight on how it would be when your married).

I was working at a video store at the time, and Tom came in one day. We just kicked it off like we known each other for YEARS! We talked for 2 hours straight, nothing harmful, just a good conversation. He asked me if I had a boyfriend I told him yes , he did not believe me ^_^ told me I was making it up lol.

Well I tried talking to Bob about these feelings that were fading away by his actions, and his comeback was "Do you know how much money I spent on you?" , this infuriated me... So why should I try to make someone happy when they put me down. Especially when all they have on their brain is $$$ signs, I am very independent and I will not have someone like that degrade me...

Tom had someone he was seeing at the time too.. however sometimes you just know in the pit of your stomach that you are wasting precious time by being with someone that your beginning to resent.

So for us it was a very happy ending, we have not strayed from each other since we have been together. I'm sure temptation is out there, however knowing that we will never find someone else to share our life with makes us not even want to look what's on the menu as people would say.

If I was dating someone for a very long time and they have promised me things, then that's a bit different. Or if the couple has been together for a very long time, and the male just wanted a taste of something new, I wouldn't allow that to happen. I would probably humiliate him to the bone and make him think twice the next time he wants to cheat.

A lot of people just want the thrill so they chase after couples to test how strong their bond is. I think that's just petty, but hey it's the world we live in... Karma is the best tough ^_^ it will always bite you in the @$$...

In others eyes the decision that I have made about my personal relationship might be wrong, in my eyes it's the best thing I have ever done, and the happiness could not be greater.

Nienna that is a great idea about the drunken kiss lol, I have also found asking people if you can kiss them takes them by surprise. It makes you look bolder and if they want to kiss you too they will do it without an objection. Then again not everyone is as open as I am lol.

GothicRavenGoddess honey I am so sorry, I have been in your shoes, and at the time it made me so angry! But soon the anger flourished with joy when the tables turned and he was the one being cheated on . So I'm sure Karma will soon strike and it will be your time to rejoice .

[GothicRavenGoddess (3)]

thank you. thank you so much.

[phee]

There is a term for certain sooper attraktive women out there the dispell this.... it's called BWABF (Born With A Boy Friend).

[TygerLili]

Ok, now that I'm not rushing out on my way to work, let me elaborate on my earlier post.

I think it's wrong to actively pursue someone who's already in a relationship. It's something that immature and insecure people do bring about drama, boost their own egos if they succeed, and be able to console themselves that they didn't really get rejected because the person wasn't available if they fail.

That said, sometimes people meet someone, get to know them through friendship, and realize that their friend is a better fit than the person they were seeing. As long as they're honest with their current significant other and end things before they start anything new, I don't see the problem there either. Yeah, it sucks to be the person who gets broken up with in that situation, but it sucks a lot less than being cheated on, or being with someone who's passive-agressively treating you badly to try to make you end the relationship, rather than strap on a pair and end it themselves. I'd rather be dumped than be with someone who's complaining to everyone but me how bad things are. Boo hoo, cry me a river.

No one can save you from a bad relationship but you. It's no one's place to judge how good or bad your relationship is but you and your significant other. If I didn't like someone a friend was dating, I speak up as to why I didn't like them, but I wouldn't try to make my friend's decisions for him.

And then there are City Club rules, which are, it seems, different from rules anywhere else. At City Club, couples with open marriages or relationships run rampant. Girlfriends make out with other girls as a birthday present to their boyfriends. People make out with one person to try to catch another person's attention. After four or five drinks people seem to "forget" that they're in a relationship, and start going around saying that they're single or in an open relationship when they're not. It's in fashion to be so slutty that you walk up to a guy and hit on him while he has his arm around his current girlfriend, and continue to try to flirt after he's made it clear that he's attached and not interested(Charlie had to hold me back from punching a bitch one night) and make fools of themselves. It's one reason I don't go there much any more. I got tired of being a pawn in everyone's stupid, drunken games.

When I am single, at City Club, or anywhere for that matter, if I find you attractive, you seem interested in me, and you're acting like you're single, I'm going to assume you're single. I'm also not going to have a lot of remorse if I later find out that, in fact, you were attached at the time and what you did screwed things up with your SO. I'm not a detective, nor am I anyone's keeper or moral advisor. You made the decision to do something you knew would fuck up your relationship, and that's not my problem.

But those are my generalizations, and every situation warrants individual examination.