Guidelines For Cats

[jynxxxedangel]

My cats must have been reading this webpage!

"Guidelines For Cats."

[Fin]

[peelingchrome]

How to clean the toilet

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids.

You may need to stand on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds.

Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash and rinse".

6. Have someone open the front door of your home.

Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom,

and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.

[TitsMcGee]

I read this and instantly thought of an email I recieved a few years back that I kept. Jynx, I think my cats are reading the same page.

The Ten Kitty Commandments

And the Cat said. . .

1. Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the computer.

2. Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.

3. Thou shalt not project hairballs from the top of the refrigerator.

4. Thou shalt not sit in front of the television as if thou art invisible.

5. Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping human’s bladder at 3 A.M.

6. Thou shalt not reset thy human’s alarm clock by walking on it.

7. Thou shalt not trip thy humans, even if they are walking too slowly.

8. Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.

9. Thou shalt not jump on the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.

10. Thou shalt attempt to show remorse when being scolded.