predaking Posted August 7, 2008 Report Share Posted August 7, 2008 I look in the mirror day in day out, never knowing who I was going to see. Even though the person was ever changing my situation stayed the same. Like ice skating uphill, Im stuck in this seemingly endless grand rut. I sit with the pieces to the greatest puzzle ever made and no box top image, some pieces fit in random order but far from the masterpiece it should be. The only saving grace to this life puzzle is there is plenty of time to find the box top! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
e-jewell Posted January 20, 2009 Report Share Posted January 20, 2009 Eh, kinda bland. I think if you had arranged the entire thing differently, instead of an entire block of text, it might have more meaning. Put some words alone on one line if they're meant to be emphasized. Since you don't use high diction, except 'endless grand rut' which was a bit much IMO, it seems too conversational to really be something deep. I think, again, that spreading this out a bit would make your meaning stand out much more clearly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scales Posted January 21, 2009 Report Share Posted January 21, 2009 Its refreshing to see optimism at the end of existential stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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