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Flirting 101

hunhee

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jynxxxedangel Contributor

jynxxxedangel

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The funny thing is, life really IS that cute and really IS that ironic. It's really a big joke, and most people aren't aware enough to get the punchline (figuring out what the universe is trying to tell you). That's why I've moved from reading fantasy novels to real life stories. The real life is so much more unbelievable than make believe.

Sometimes chance decides to put two people together.. just to get a good laugh. The "popular one" and the "wallflower"

Ever see the movie 16 Candles? I referred to this movie recently. It described being lonely while surrounded by people, and feeling lonely by yourself. Either way, the outcome is that you're lonely. Deep down inside, no matter what, the "popular" one or the "wallflower" you're the same person, and you want the same thing, a meaningful relationship with someone that matters.

Damn, I think we got off topic. :/ sorry guys.

:bravo

Very well-spoken, HunHee.

I used to be that jealous sort of wallflower, who sat in the shadows and hated on the "popular" people, until I realized it was self-destructive to let base jealousy get the best of me.

Rather than jealousy, take a look at exactly WHAT it is about the popular ones that makes people gravitate towards them, and use it as a lesson to improve oneself, if that is the sort of attention you seek.

On the other side of the coin, it's NOT great to always be the center of attention. It makes one feel constantly inspected and checked for weakness, not to mention one's becoming the butt of idle gossip. This creates an entirely different spectrum of loneliness, and distrust of other peoples' sincerity and intentions. Being charmed and/or charming is NOT all it's cracked up to be.

Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like to be an ugly, deformed monster. It could not be any worse than the way some people have already treated me, by jumping to conclusions about my apparent personality, based only upon my physical appearance. I wonder if anyone else sees through the finely-groomed surface, and notices I am still only a shy, private wallflower deep down inside-- and I will NEVER get used to any sort of human attention, positive or negative. Maybe I should not get my hopes for humanity up, as people tend to take things at face value. :confused::sad::wallbash:

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Msterbeau Collaborator

Msterbeau

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I can't flirt with just anyone. There's some (many) people who wouldn't get me at all and it would just end up in failure. I'm pretty intuitive about who these people are or aren't. But there are usually signs as to their disposition... especially online which is what makes flirting here far more comfortable and fun then in real life. Granted, once I get to know someone a little online, if I meet them in a club, or whatever, it opens the door pretty wide to flirt comfortably. I think compatible sense of humor is key. Even though flirting is technically a romantic sorta thing, my feeling is that it always involves a little bit of humor and mischief.

Jinxxxy - Good point about jumping to conclusions. Perhaps this is another topic entirely, but it can be easy to do, and it leaves open to question what's going on with the person these conclusions were made about. If they put out a certain look/vibe are they subconsciously or consciously looking for a particular type of attention? or is the "audience" reading into it what they want (stereotypes) and ignoring other signals that convey the truth about the person's motives? Hmmm...

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Rev.Reverence Newbie

Rev.Reverence

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I love flirting, it's most definitely an art form, and it takes practice to do it, and it takes a certain frame of mind.

1. The first rule about flirt club is You don't talk about flirt club.. JK ..

:thumbsup:YES MA'AM

2. I keep stressing confidence IS sexy. If you're not confident, or pretend confidence (my motto is fake it till you make it), you're just not going to achieve your goals. There's a fine line between confidence and cocky. Confidence I can work with, cocky, well, you need these lessons more than the non-confident ones.

:confused: ...sometimes a bit of cockiness is what you need..but; it is a thin & dangerous line...BUT; nothing ventured nothing gained...so the saying goes...

3. Practice.. you don't have to just flirt with "the one" in fact, I wouldn't recommend it right out the gate. Flirt with EVERYONE, and I don't mean be creepy about it, but there's just simple things that you can do to, be conscious of your smile. Again, if you're not a natural smiler, just try to make it a conscious effort. Smile more and more, smile at everyone (remember we're taking baby steps here). Smiling is contagious.<---SO TRUE

pick up lines=creepy :no

flirting=intriguing :yes

4. Eye contact - Eye contact is really really hard, I STILL to this day have a problem with it when it relates to someone whom I REALLY like, but it's okay, again take baby steps. When I'm walking in the mall, I start by making eye contact with everyone who walks by. Whether or not I'm attracted to them or not. I count in my head (to take away from the awkwardness) the seconds I will hold a gaze. MORE than a second is good.. two seconds is better, and three seconds, well, you're already past them by that time.. so start with one second. You just count in your head.. (one, one thousand, two, one thousand, three one thousand..etc.)

YES...AS IMPORTANT AS SMILING.

You may have the urge to blush, this is good. NEVER underestimate the power of the blush.

I am SO glad that I have become "not-so-detached-as-I-used-to-be"...so as to be able to feel the emotions that cause us to blush...

:bow :bow :bow :bow :bow :bow :bow :bow

ALL HAIL HUNHEE!

oops wrong thread!

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Daevion Newbie

Daevion

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LOL....this must be a girly thread. Thats wayyyy tooo much stuff to think about....I just do whatever and see what happens. Better to act on impulse than have all that garbage going thru my head. Chaos baby!!! just shake that tree up and see what falls!! hahaha!

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Rev.Reverence Newbie

Rev.Reverence

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LOL....this must be a girly thread. Thats wayyyy tooo much stuff to think about....I just do whatever and see what happens. Better to act on impulse than have all that garbage going thru my head. Chaos baby!!! just shake that tree up and see what falls!! hahaha!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

CASE STUDY #1 AS PERTAINING TO AFOREMENTIONED "NECESSARY COCKINESS"

<-----CASE #2

THANX-K-BY!

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Msterbeau Collaborator

Msterbeau

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LOL....this must be a girly thread. Thats wayyyy tooo much stuff to think about....I just do whatever and see what happens. Better to act on impulse than have all that garbage going thru my head. Chaos baby!!! just shake that tree up and see what falls!! hahaha!

And that's gotten you where, exactly? :rofl:

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Guest Megalicious

Guest Megalicious

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Just give Daevion a few long islands at CC, and he flirts with everyone. hehe =P

Who doesn't! After not drinking for 3 years I'm scared to even take a sip of one.

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Daevion Newbie

Daevion

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Just give Daevion a few long islands at CC, and he flirts with everyone. hehe =P

Its the liquid courage blanket flirting technique! I hear it works fairly good. Its not for everyone, and I'm not responsible for anyone getting kicked out of CC or beat up on the dance floor.

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Shade Everdark Newbie

Shade Everdark

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The funny thing is, life really IS that cute and really IS that ironic. It's really a big joke, and most people aren't aware enough to get the punchline (figuring out what the universe is trying to tell you). That's why I've moved from reading fantasy novels to real life stories. The real life is so much more unbelievable than make believe.

Sometimes chance decides to put two people together.. just to get a good laugh. The "popular one" and the "wallflower"

Ever see the movie 16 Candles? I referred to this movie recently. It described being lonely while surrounded by people, and feeling lonely by yourself. Either way, the outcome is that you're lonely. Deep down inside, no matter what, the "popular" one or the "wallflower" you're the same person, and you want the same thing, a meaningful relationship with someone that matters.

Damn, I think we got off topic. :/ sorry guys.

It is, perhaps, not entirely germane to the topic, but I can say, personally, that I often, even usually, feel least alone when I'm by myself. It's when I'm in a crowd that I feel isolated and alone. Which is why I pretty much ignore everyone when I dance at City Club.

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Guest greyhalo

Guest greyhalo

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Its the Mt.Dew of alchoholic drinks

Unfortunately, they (Mt. Dew and long islands) both wreak havoc on my stomach. I do agree with your flirting method though.

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hunhee Newbie

hunhee

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Unfortunately, they (Mt. Dew and long islands) both wreak havoc on my stomach. I do agree with your flirting method though.

True, flirting while drunk is a lot easier, but flirting while the other person is sober, may not be a good idea.. :/

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