Self-Improvement

[Scales]

After reading the flirting thread, I though there should be one on self-improvement since it's a vital part of confidence. So feel free to pitch in your opinions and two cents on self-improvement.

* The universe is built upon cause and effect, but life is built upon goals; visualization helps immensely in reaching goals. You are always setting goals, consciously and unconsciously; so it's important to control the goals you are setting.

* The people around you are no better or worse than you, the things they do or have, make them no better or worse than you.

* Nobody has full control of their life since you can't control every aspect of life, so you have to make your focus count as well your actions which will reflect that focus.

* The values and rules you have taken into account as your own are what will effect your life.

* The pain that comes from change is part of a metamorphosis, it's a push towards a necessity.

* Many people believe they should act out of fear and depression instead of dealing with these feelings first. There will always be a part of you that doesn't want you to reach your goals, this part of you feeds and acts on fear. By relaxing and questioning why you have certain emotional instability, you can then undermine these fears with floods of positive reinforcement.

* Humility, integrity, and honesty go a long way.

* Negative people always find a way to bash positive thinking, and if you look closely you'll note that their emotional instability always shows through.

* Spotting negativity and emotional instability in yourself and others through all of their actions is a very good habit to pick up. Your ability to see negativity raises your defenses against sublimating it into your life.

* Looking up motivating and inspiring quotes, is a good way of staying motivated and inspired.

* All emotional instability can be countered and dissolved. In the end you decide every action you take and you are coaching your life.

EDITED: For clarification.

[Oh_My_Goth]

I you.....

[Restless Oblivion]

[Scales]

Thanks to you both!

A lot of these I posted specifically because I learned them the hard way. Most of these ideas I didn't come up with, it's just what I've gathered from psychology, sociology, Anthony Robbins, famous quotes, warrior philosophy, and a recent book I thought was really good, called Self-Discipline In 10 Days.

I have yet to read "Think and Grow Rich" but I hear that it's a classic.

Right now I'm working on a goal sheet listing anything in life I want to achieve with the more important stuff having deadlines. I think forming an honest list of goals you want in life helps A LOT, it brings out the context for getting farther, developing character, and being happier overall.

[Head Wreck]

welcome to the fold

[Scales]

welcome to the fold

Thank you good sir.

[hunhee]

This is a very excellent thread, in fact, I think it has a lot to do with all my "power of positive thinking" and things that I keep preaching, but of course, on a goth board, seems that I shout to only myself at times.

One thing that I think seems to work for me is.. take 20 things that happen to you on any given day. 5 of them being really good.. 5 of them being really bad, and the remaining 10 in between are just that, in-between. Think for a second what things you tend to focus on. Most would say they probably focus on the bad things that happen, and it seems like the good things get a bye. Good things are not a problem, so people don't choose to focus on it. WRONG ANSWER!!! Negativity effects you like a poison. It trickles in and it festers. Don't let it, you have that power, if you give into it, you've lost.

Focus on the 5 good things, hold onto them, OWN them. I'm not saying ignore the bad things, I'm saying don't let it set your mood/outlook. Let it be a PART of you, but don't let them DEFINE who you are. You will lead a much happier more successful life if you can do this. It is definitely a conscious effort to begin with, but after a while, it becomes second nature. Positivity begets positive things, negativity does like. Which way do you want to live your life? It's like the red of the blue pill..which one would you like to take?

[Scales]

This is a very excellent thread, in fact, I think it has a lot to do with all my "power of positive thinking" and things that I keep preaching, but of course, on a goth board, seems that I shout to only myself at times.

One thing that I think seems to work for me is.. take 20 things that happen to you on any given day. 5 of them being really good.. 5 of them being really bad, and the remaining 10 in between are just that, in-between. Think for a second what things you tend to focus on. Most would say they probably focus on the bad things that happen, and it seems like the good things get a bye. Good things are not a problem, so people don't choose to focus on it. WRONG ANSWER!!! Negativity effects you like a poison. It trickles in and it festers. Don't let it, you have that power, if you give into it, you've lost.

Focus on the 5 good things, hold onto them, OWN them. I'm not saying ignore the bad things, I'm saying don't let it set your mood/outlook. Let it be a PART of you, but don't let them DEFINE who you are. You will lead a much happier more successful life if you can do this. It is definitely a conscious effort to begin with, but after a while, it becomes second nature. Positivity begets positive things, negativity does like. Which way do you want to live your life? It's like the red of the blue pill..which one would you like to take?

Mmmm mmmm mmmmm, Amen-sista.

/Shaniqua

[Shade Everdark]

Thank you, Fight Club.

"Self-improvement is masturbation. Now, self-destruction...."