Your completely unreasonable dating requirements...

[Oh_My_Goth]

Oh good one!

Thank you, Sir

[Guest greyhalo]

OF COURSE! Leave the talls for me & Sally....what a Gent!

Sure, no one wants the short ladies like me...

[Rev.Reverence]

Sure, no one wants the short ladies like me...

...the tall is SO rare...I haz to compromise with the Universe on a regular basis...&...I'm sure with a tad bit of the finagling we can find you a tall man that likes the short...I used to LOVE the short...but me Babies-momma' done fucked that shit up!

[Black Jack (1)]

I can't help but to be nice to someone I like. I'm a romantic idiot, I guess.

+2

[eleven]

Tallness!

I'm average at 5'10. I prefer women shorter than myself, 5'5, 5'6 would be good.

damn if only 5'6" were tall...

I would be a giant

Edited December 9, 2008 by eleven

[SkYFiRe]

damn if only 5'6" were tall...

I would be a giant

that just makez hugz that much more enjoyable haha

[Eevee]

Um. What about 34-28-40? Not good enough for you?

I feel totally lame that I don't understand what these measurements are of...ROFL

[Rev.Reverence]

I feel totally lame that I don't understand what these measurements are of...ROFL

breast-waist-hips

Marylin Monroe was 36-24-36 I believe...

...& don't feel lame...it took me till my mid-twenties till I figured it out..SO...your AHEAD of the curve Doll...

[Eevee]

breast-waist-hips

Marylin Monroe was 36-24-36 I believe...

...& don't feel lame...it took me till my mid-twenties till I figured it out..SO...your AHEAD of the curve Doll...

OH!

Then... 34-27-34.

And that is why Marilyn Monroe is such a fucking sex icon...lol

[Rayne]

Interesting.

I'm 36-27-34.

... But I wear a size 9 or 10 ... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/US_standard_clothing_size

[Nienna]

Interesting.

I'm 36-27-34.

... But I wear a size 9 or 10 ... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/US_standard_clothing_size

Marilyn was a 12... but in the sizes back then. You're probably about the same size, but modern sizes keep getting bigger. No kidding. (There I go, getting all history of fashion on you... lol)

Edited December 10, 2008 by Nienna

[Burrich1]

I expect my lady to be both educated and intelligent. We need to have an amazing chemistry. As in: the kind of chemistry that completely blows your mind and causes you to think about her for most of the day every day. I want her to bring out my romantical nature.

We need to be able to work well as a team with one another, with very little communication. As in: anticipating the others needs before the other realizes these needs in the completion of a project. I want to be completely comfortable being myself and to be completely comfortable with her being herself. She has to be a little twisted such as myself, and be able to see the irony in horrible things.

She has to like kids. And cats. And guys in red jeeps. And people watching. And not be a picky eater. She has to have interests and hobbies of her own. She has to be willing to incorporate me into some but not all of these hobbies, and be willing to have the same done to her. She has to like herself. She must be a motivated person and not be a perpetual victim of her circumstances who is unwilling to change her lot in life and constantly complains how bad her life is. She must not melt in the sunlight.

She needs to be a little curvy. Black hair is a plus. She needs to be versatile, and able to put on a number of different faces and costumes for a number of different situations. She also needs to be interested in putting herself in these varieties of situations. As in going to a benefit, then head off to CC afterward.

I am sure there are a lot of other requirements. I may add later. Or not. This is usually not my kind thread. I prefer more subtlety. She needs to be able to read into subtlety correctly.

[jynxxxedangel]

Resurrection time! There are plenty of new, single members of DGN, who haven't yet posted their unreasonable dating requirements. Not only that, but it's fun to look back on these threads, if you have already posted!

[Rev.Reverence]

Good thread to dig up!

...my new requirement...is that my Wife, AND Girlfriend...both like the person,in THAT way

..I no longer want or need more love...but, if they want to play let's add another...I'll cope

[pomba gira]

Hmm... I guess what I'm doing now is actually "dating"... kind of a first!

All of this is for "serious"... NSA/FWB things have a whole different set of requirements:

Between ages 35-60

Sane

Literate

Lifelong learner

Able to converse intelligently on topics other than Nascar and American Idol

Compassion & tolerance

No young children at home full time

Adventurous & not bound by convention

Physically affectionate

Comfortable with intimacy and communication

Reasonably high sex drive

Polyamorous or at least amenable to the idea

Enjoy social occasions

Like animals

Not obese

Decent personal hygiene

Employed or otherwise financially stable, or with solid prospects for becoming so in the near future

Some kind of goals/ambition in life

...and not wearing khaki pants and polo shirts helps a lot, too.

Edited September 4, 2009 by pomba gira

[AstralCrux]

PHYSICAL:

Height - I'm 5'2, so it's pretty easy to find someone taller, but with the right personality that isn't manditory. Very tall shoes would be if you're short. ;-)

Weight/body type - I generally like a medium build and really only like back muscles, so yeah... Mildly flexible on build, but I might stare at your back in amazement/draw you.

Eyes - Varies, but I want to see the depths of your soul when you look at me. I generally can anyway, but nice eyes are a plus.

Hair - Darker the better, but unnatural colors can be fun too.

Skin - Paler the better. I stick right in the pale zone.

Character - I'd like the honor of the Japanese to run through your blood. Not afraid to stand up for what you believe in/not a pushover/not easily taken advantage of. (Sub in the bedroom is ok.) Someone who understands that none of us know everything, but should be willing to teach me what I haven't learned and happy to learn what I know. Here's the quirky part.... You have to understand that I say things that most people would judge as insane, but it's just along the lines of premonition and I don't always realize what crazy things I'm saying until after. For example, with an ex I told his family at a holiday- just after I met these people mind you- that I was going to take him off his meds and more or less change their perceptions about him. A year later his aunt cried when she found out I was right, but all up until then I got to be psycho girlfriend! Get me in the right state of mind while drunk sometime... You'll see. I don't drink at anyone's family events for that reason. Should be against drugs.

Clothing: Hehehe... You have to be willing to occasionally let me dress you and apply makeup. ;-) I don't mind if you take longer than me to get ready, but I can and will try to tempt you into sex and ruin your look... hehehe... I'm pretty flexible about most clothing, just try to look like you care about yourself.

EMOTIONAL/PSYCHOLOGICAL:

Someone that isn't a project. I'm not going to fix you, so damnit come perfectly wonderful in advance thanks. Seriously, someone who isn't afraid of the word committment. Rarely, I find myself so committed to a person that I put the depths of my heart and soul into that person, you need to deserve that before you think about even basically dating me. Stable enough that being around me doesn't change your entire life. (Don't laugh, it happens alot.)

PERSONALITY:

Someone who recognizes the whisperings of intuition and acts accordingly. (I stole that, is awesome response.) I'm extremly quirky and I like to do things without the hint of a plan. Plans always change and morph into better plans, and you have to understand that I'll spend one day just hanging out and reading/vegging to the TV or I could be trying to pack too much to do into another day. Shy doesn't matter, I've never met anyone shy, you can't be around me and I like to prove that for kicks and giggles. I'm good with strange.

SPIRITUALITY:

I'm open to most beliefs, just not keen on organized religions. You'd have to believe in a little bit of something, or you'd have me put in a padded cell for what can come out of my mouth.

SEXUALITY:

I've always liked affeminent <sp> guys. In my mind I've contemplated tying down a woman and really enjoying giving her a bath with my tongue, but I've never gone further than kissing with girls. I'm pretty open to trying new things, but no intense pain (light is fine) and I've never been a big fan of anal. If you have the right pheromones I won't be able to get within 3 feet of you without trying to rape you. Only one person, my first bf, had this quality and it was fun. I like to build up the sexual tension as long as I can, because frankly ripping off clothes and slamming into walls is sexy. ;-)

HOBBIES/INTERESTS:

I'm good with most hobbies and interests. I read and like to buy the books I like, so clearly I like to be broke. lol. If I like an author I read everything that they write and collect it. Mary Renault is one that I still need to collect books for. lol. Gemini... I get off topic and am trying not to go on and on about her greek fiction. Anyway, I like painting and drawing and any other random craft I can get into. It would be super cool if you know metalwork or welding.... I'd like to learn that. MTG player is a plus. I keep trying to learn RPGs but I can't ever find a teacher.

JOB:

I have one, but I also have this running joke (or is it?) about having a househusband to do all the chores and lounge around naked until I get home. Jobs are nice and an education with a job is better. Bare minimum, you need to have a GED plus a good reason for why you didn't graduate. (GED at 12 is a bonus, so is a math geek)

FAMILY:

I love my returnable kids! I have enough nieces and nephews that someday might end up mine because my siblings are morons and the grandparents can't live forever. If you really insist on having kids, the only way I'll agree is if I'm able to homeschool them. My credibility as a teacher/tutor can be referenced. I'd personally rather travel than have kids and I really wouldn't want to have my offspring life through the taxation they're gonna get beat down by.

[Joey Deadcat]

Non-Christian

Childfree

No emotional or psychological baggage

Needy and clingy - NO!

Values her own space and time

Self-assured

Spunky

Doesn't find the concept of marriage all that important or necessary

Has a twisted streak

Has a love for the macabre

Spontaneous

Non-vegetarian and non-vegan

Gives as good as she takes

Major + if she's of Celtic stock(green eyes and red/auburn hair, especially),is knowledgeable of 70s culture,loves things retro,into comics and classic films, and looks like a 60s ye-ye girl.

[Tacohitts]

No psychos

no piano sizes

no theft

no kids

etc etc etc

[BloodCupcake]

PHYSICAL:

Height - 6' 0" - 6' 5" Cause I'm unfortunately 6'1.

Weight/body type - Thin or chiseled but not body builder type or overly nastily muscular.

Eyes - Blue, hazel, green, grey.

Hair - If skin is pale, black hair would be cool but it wouldn't matter. Interesting edgy hair cut, unatural colors are cool or BLONDE almost white hair is always cool.

Skin - Pale or light skinned if white. Any shade if not white.

Character - Dark, deep, passionate, silly, cuddly, funny, easy to talk to, a little crazy, open-minded.

Clothing: Goth, cyber goth/rivet-head, emo, scene, punk, rocker, victorian but not costumey anything dark, edgy.

EMOTIONAL/PSYCHOLOGICAL:

A little whacko, sensitive but tough when need be, weird in a sense, not too mature (cause I'm not, lol).

PERSONALITY:

Silly, romantic, dark personality but not evil, caring, funny, easy to get along with, open-minded.

SPIRITUALITY:

Open-minded and not judgemental about religion. Able to hold a good conversation about thoughts on religion.

SEXUALITY:

Bisexual or straight if I'm with a guy, bi or lesbian if I'm with a girl. Faithful in relationships, open to different types of relationships though and different types of sex, not afraid to ask for what they want, sexually "deviant" at times, passionate.

HOBBIES/INTERESTS:

Music, skateborading, anything creative and fun. And open to trying new things and I'd do the same.

JOB:

Anything as long as they love what they do. That way they wont come home from work grumpy everyday.

FAMILY:

Nice and accepting family. Easy to get along with and fun to be around.

[Slogo]

PHYSICAL:

(not all of this is required but it helps)

Height - 5'8'' and up (I'm 5'10'' so I like women around my height)

Weight/body type - A little bit curvy but not fat. I loves me cuddling

Eyes - yes

Hair - Once again, don't care

Skin - I prefer dark skin

Character - Fun but still mature. Honest, kind, friendly.

Clothing: Don't care. You could dress like Elvira or like a cheerleader. Or not at all

EMOTIONAL/PSYCHOLOGICAL:

Crazy but not needing institutionalization

PERSONALITY:

Understanding, fun, liking to go out and do stuff. Not someone who needs me to have a lot of money because I don't

SPIRITUALITY:

I love the subject of religion but don't try to make me conform to your beliefs

SEXUALITY:

Obviously has an interest in men. Is female (sorry guys). I can be kind of a freak so don't feel weird. But I like knowing what women want so feel free to let me know

HOBBIES/INTERESTS:

Movies, music, walking. I'm a huge history buff so it you can keep up with me I may ask your hand in marriage

JOB:

As long as they have one, it's fine

FAMILY:

As long as they'd like for me I'd be happy

[Joey Deadcat]

Oh yea, and knowledgeable of all things rock 'n' roll.

[StormKnight (1)]

I had to make revisions based on what has happened recently:

PHYSICAL:

Height is irrelevant for me.

If she is comfortable with a 5'8" Hawaiian, I can be comfortable with either looking at the top of her head, or being eye to eye with the front strap of the bodice. Though if I am being unreasonable, I always like eye to eye contact without heels.

I do like someone that does make an effort to keep healthy and in shape,

and this is becoming more and more important for both personal health and their health. I would like a jogging/workout partner. Considering I can do up to 6-mile runs twice a day, I would like to have her keep up. If anyone hasn't noticed, I don't like sitting down often unless I have become engrossed in a project, a book, or doing something for the job, so being active is a must. I am not a big breast person (don't get me started on that health issue,) but if they are comfortable, I am. I have a weakness for toned legs, red hair, and soulful, expressive eyes.

One thing I must mention on heels: Yes, they are flattering to the kryptonite that are their legs, and it is a turn on when worn occasionally. But please, no uber-high (over 4") heels for more than a couple of hours. If you are with me, you have already impressed me.

EMOTIONAL/PSYCHOLOGICAL/FAMILY:

We all have issues. I would like someone who is strong enough to rise above them and succeed, laugh at themselves, and can adapt to situations.

A survivor and a thriver. Can stand on their own two feet.

Cluster B and Cluster C disorders have been made deal killers, especially dependent personality disorder and borderline personality disorder (the last one I saw I had to watch overnight because they tried to off themselves with Lortab. Blame them.) I don't need to be called in the middle of keeping someone alive during a trauma case to deal with either of those insecurities. That being said, we all channel traits of all personality disorders at one point or another; it's part of a grander coping system and when done, they disappear. But full blown disorders that are persistent or not treated? No.

Waivers can be issued for this if they are in full compliance with any therapy/treatment that keeps the disorder in check. Case by case basis.

Can deal with the occasional spoiling, (ask anyone who has stayed at my place about the Law of Guest.) And can spoil back in a similar manner.

If family is a part of their life, I would like them to get along well (most of the ones I care for in my family have been ashes (litterally) for years.)

I would like to meet their family and not have to be issued flack vest, helmet, and a rifle with a grenade launcher.

PERSONALITY:

Sense of humor & intelligent, with a healthy dose of geek. I would like a bit of an evil and perverse twist to them as well. I want a person with a bit of a strong personality. I apprecate someone that can kick my ass...lol. Someone who realizes there is always room for improvement on her part and mine part.

SPIRITUALITY:

Ultra religous is a major turn off

and is also a deal killer. Militant religious people of any denomination are not my thing. Calling Torquemada and the

auto de fe

to convert me to their religion is not exactly my way of becoming closer to the

sine qua non,

thank you kindly. That being said, I am a curious frakker, and I would like to know certain aspects of the religion, as long as it doesn't involve cutting out my heart, removing parts of my anatomy, or in other ways hasten my demise.

But I want someone who has a connection with the greater order of the universe, and know they are more than they are currently. Striving to be better than they have been dealt with. (lived that most of my life.)

SEXUALITY:

Fun, freaky, and kinky. Does everything sexually with a sense of passion, a bit of humor, and wonder.

Sex should be have the ephemeral connection of love and desire that makes both of us want to satisfy the other, making "making love" much more the case than, "sex." (I am so tempted to quote Tom Robbins again on this issue, but instead,

I will just link the last time I did.)

As for orientation and styles, they are open to discussion. *looks down pants at Mr. Elephant* Though for obvious reasons, being lesbian might not be the right choice.

HOBBIES/INTERESTS:

She must have enough mutual interest overlap that we can discuss things and share the interest in the same hobbies. There also must be overlap of a good portion of my friends. Ideally, I would like to meet them in places I frequent, doing some of the things I like to do, and friends know about her. Yes, it is a background check, which has saved me on more than one occasion (*friend pulls me aside as we are talking* "Dude, she is frakking nuts! She took her last boyfriend's nipples with her!") It is also the fact I don't like the idea of abandoning friends without cause on the friend's behalf in favor of hers. Lots of common friends reduce the likelihood of being spirited away. This arrangement forces her to being a friend first with common interests, and then a lover. Last one, again, was a complete stranger, only one shared interest, knew no one in my circle of friends, and ended poorly.

She has to keep up with me. I can be all over the board (from talking about the finer points of Dante's La Comedia Divina, Tom Robbins' Still Life with Woodpecker, to the best plugs for a german V-8 engine, to the weather, medicine, the quantium-40 molecule, etc.) I have a hard time finding people to keep up with me.

JOB:

Steady, legal, can support her, and she is satisfied with.

Edited September 17, 2009 by StormKnight

[eatdirt426]

Must love kids

appreciate honesty, I'm a brutally honest person.

must be honest with me as well

I'm a sucker for musicians

NO MURDEROUS TENDANCIES PLEASE!!! the last relationship I had he told me to get rid of the old fashioned phone or he would choke me with it because the voices told him to. I got rid of him instead.

must have a LEGAL job

must have a twisted sense of humor

be family oriented

Open minded about religion

sexually open I like to have fun

must have his own car

must be open to things I am American Indian I go to pow-wows and participate in other things that have to do with my culture.

Must not have a problem with being spoiled. I like to treat my men good with things like a good meal, new clothes, and stuff they need.

Physically I'm not too picky actually

Tall 5'9 to 6'1

28-35 years old

Dark colored hair or crazy colored length isnt a big deal

brown, hazel or green eyes

I like a little meat on the bones. nothing too skinny

Must have a least one tattoo and one piercing

[candyman]

PHYSICAL:

If you have one sweater puppy that is bigger than the other one I might have a problem...I am talking about a difference of a few cup sizes...its harder for me to play favorites when the playing field is not even

Height doesn't matter

Weight...well most girls weight just as much or more than I do so around 135 works...but I am not that firm on that

Must have muscle tone...so many spoiled girls I have met have GREAT bodies...but then their "fit" legs look like cottage cheese from lack or doing anything at all. I am not saying that you need to be able to crush my head between your legs...but that wouldn't hurt anything either.

Eyes - as long as they are not permanently crossed they are fine...

Hair - Mohawk

Skin - Umm...I would like them to show it

Character - Unless you are an actual resident of some instituion I don't think I can go any lower than I already have so "go nuts"

Clothing:

If you shop at any store in the mall go away...absolutely NO Ugg boots or whatever those are...and your suglasses must be smaller in size than you head

EMOTIONAL/PSYCHOLOGICAL:

Like I said before I have gone pretty low so show me what you got and I will try my best...

PERSONALITY:

If you cling more any more than my socks do then its not going to work.

SPIRITUALITY:

Don't care

SEXUALITY:

I am flexible here, well I am not physically flexible, but if there will be anything like cigarette burns during the act I ask that you inform me BEFORE it happens!

HOBBIES/INTERESTS:

Music, cars, firearms in areas like care and proper use, fine alcohol that you don't get wasted with, and paintball...

JOB:

Go for it nobody is holding you back...but if there is some sort of legal problem with it let me know so I have some sort of strategy worked out in case something goes wrong.

FAMILY:

I get along with family fine...if daddy likes cars hide him or I will forget about you and will hang with your dad all the time talking shop.

[Raev]

I have an addendum that needs listed.

Must have the ability to handle higher thought from time to time. Partying is fine fun and good...but I need good conversation!

Also - ya bring any kind of narcotic into my home without proper prescription, you immediately become my enemy.