Your completely unreasonable dating requirements...

[Msterbeau]

I would like a man that will listen & pay attention to me when Im talking.... I dont think thats unreasonable.... more like impossible.... so I settled for Marc.... ~acts innocent~

Did you say something?

[Tyger]

Did you say something?

See.

[Joey Deadcat]

In the unlikely event I'm involved again a she is never to refer to me as "My Deadcat" or "My Lil' Deadcat" - that phrase will always belong to her; it'll never be right coming from anyone else.

[FarrIL]

Unreasonable Dating Requirements:

Be taller than me (I want to be able to bury my face into your chest, or somewhere nearby) -- I mean by a few inches, at least.

Let me be me and handle it. I'm loud, I'm obnoxious, I squeak and purr and give random hugs. Deal with it or walk. I am quite capable of putting my foot down and I am equally capable of having a freak-out that requires a nap to gather my bearings. Be there for me and I'll be there for you.

I show off skin. Dont try and subtly tell me what I should and should not be wearing. I've the decency to dress appropriately for public but dont harp on me for going out in jeans and a tank top. It's hot out, I'm not wearing a sweater just so others dont see some slight cleavage.

I have guy-friends. Guy-friends I hug and they sometimes greet me with an innocent peck on the cheek. I also get along better with guys. If I'm talking to one of these guy-friends, I'll tell you who they are and the like. Just dont interrogate me.

Um, insecurity? That either gets left outside or you can go about your merry way without me. I wont deal with someone who's insecure to the degree of using it as an excuse to tell me what I can and cant model, whom I can and cant talk to, etc.

Tattoos and piercings are not required, but a major plus if present. Dont be pretentious. Tell me when you're mad, upset, distraught, whatever. Tell me when you have a problem with something I did as well. Be open with me, because I can be very blunt and sometimes have no tact.

[DJ Nihil]

Why did I read this thread, when I knew I'd feel obligated to post? Oh well, let's see.

Things she must have or be to garner my interest: height/weight proportionate, pale skin, darker colored hair, have patience, and be very forward and not play games, explains things. Hopefully understands my feelings of not wanting to have kids.

Is that too much to ask?

[Mean Salley]

I would like to make an addendum or two... (well, prolly more than that) to my previous legendary list. Some of these are based on major failage in previous relationships.

1. Don't allude to my music as just being a dumb hobby.

2. Furthermore, to suggest that I give up music and get a "real" job may in fact be worthy of death.

3. Don't you EVAR besmirch Journey in my presence. Yeah, I mean this Journey...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFC8sDTXlng&feature=related

I don't follow the "gothical-at-all-costs" rules, which means I fuckin' love Journey. Provoke me and I'll start a "watch me humiliate your favorite shit-bands" thread. You'll either cry to your fat mom or hate me.

4. It's a good idea if you're with me because you actually are interested in me, not just because you can't go for 4 days without a big cock inside of you. I'll figure it out soon enough.

5. Don't be a dude.

6. If I say I want to go to the renaissance festival every day of every weekend for the duration of said extravaganza, thous wouldst do well to entreat upon thy beloved well wishes and perchance the escort of a fair maiden.

7. I dated someone who was uber:hot once upon a time not so long ago. She never listened to any of my music. Hey, fuck you cock-nostril. Proper-dumped on grounds of lack of genuine interest.

8. When I start talking about the music, cultures and foods of the peoples of a far off land, don't laugh, or smirk or chide me. I can't slap you in your disrespectin' talk-hole, but I can and will dump you in front of the people whom you seek to impress the most.

9. If I make you cookies, you'd better at least pre-fuckin-tend to like them.

The end

Please provoke.

[Eevee]

I would like to make an addendum or two... (well, prolly more than that) to my previous legendary list. Some of these are based on major failage in previous relationships.

1. Don't allude to my music as just being a dumb hobby.

2. Furthermore, to suggest that I give up music and get a "real" job may in fact be worthy of death.

3. Don't you EVAR besmirch Journey in my presence. Yeah, I mean this Journey...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFC8sDTXlng&feature=related

I don't follow the "gothical-at-all-costs" rules, which means I fuckin' love Journey. Provoke me and I'll start a "watch me humiliate your favorite shit-bands" thread. You'll either cry to your fat mom or hate me.

4. It's a good idea if you're with me because you actually are interested in me, not just because you can't go for 4 days without a big cock inside of you. I'll figure it out soon enough.

5. Don't be a dude.

6. If I say I want to go to the renaissance festival every day of every weekend for the duration of said extravaganza, thous wouldst do well to entreat upon thy beloved well wishes and perchance the escort of a fair maiden.

7. I dated someone who was uber:hot once upon a time not so long ago. She never listened to any of my music. Hey, fuck you cock-nostril. Proper-dumped on grounds of lack of genuine interest.

8. When I start talking about the music, cultures and foods of the peoples of a far off land, don't laugh, or smirk or chide me. I can't slap you in your disrespectin' talk-hole, but I can and will dump you in front of the people whom you seek to impress the most.

9. If I make you cookies, you'd better at least pre-fuckin-tend to like them.

The end

Please provoke.

I love your cookies!

[jcheeka]

Someone who is willing to work for what they want. The poor me attitude only goes so far. You cant complain about how bad things are if you are not trying to change them. I also need someone who can deal with who I am and not run scared from me. I am who I am I like dressing sexy when I go out and I like very little clothing at city club. Dont freak out on me because I dress this way realize that I am with you and only you just go with it and enjoy the view.

[Eevee]

Somebody who can keep my interest.

That is required above all else.

[Msterbeau]

Somebody who can keep my interest.

That is required above all else.

That's unreasonable?

[prick]

A love for the outdoors.

[Msterbeau]

I would like to make an addendum or two... (well, prolly more than that) to my previous legendary list. Some of these are based on major failage in previous relationships.

1. Don't allude to my music as just being a dumb hobby.

2. Furthermore, to suggest that I give up music and get a "real" job may in fact be worthy of death.

3. Don't you EVAR besmirch Journey in my presence. Yeah, I mean this Journey...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFC8sDTXlng&feature=related

I don't follow the "gothical-at-all-costs" rules, which means I fuckin' love Journey. Provoke me and I'll start a "watch me humiliate your favorite shit-bands" thread. You'll either cry to your fat mom or hate me.

4. It's a good idea if you're with me because you actually are interested in me, not just because you can't go for 4 days without a big cock inside of you. I'll figure it out soon enough.

5. Don't be a dude.

6. If I say I want to go to the renaissance festival every day of every weekend for the duration of said extravaganza, thous wouldst do well to entreat upon thy beloved well wishes and perchance the escort of a fair maiden.

7. I dated someone who was uber:hot once upon a time not so long ago. She never listened to any of my music. Hey, fuck you cock-nostril. Proper-dumped on grounds of lack of genuine interest.

8. When I start talking about the music, cultures and foods of the peoples of a far off land, don't laugh, or smirk or chide me. I can't slap you in your disrespectin' talk-hole, but I can and will dump you in front of the people whom you seek to impress the most.

9. If I make you cookies, you'd better at least pre-fuckin-tend to like them.

The end

Please provoke.

Journey. Worst crap ever.

[Eevee]

That's unreasonable?

Yes.

Have you seen my dating record? I fear that is very unreasonable. (Though I suppose it reflects more on myself then on the other...pssh)

[phee]

Yes.

Have you seen my dating record? I fear that is very unreasonable. (Though I suppose it reflects more on myself then on the other...pssh)

You have a dating record?

*tries to find it on Google*

[Eevee]

You have a dating record?

*tries to find it on Google*

lol

Yeah, yeah...smartass

[f0rged]

lol

Yeah, yeah...smartass

look up smartass in the dictionary and you see a picture of Phee

[Tyger]

look up smartass in the dictionary and you see a picture of Phee

He's even in the Canadian version!

[Raev]

Must be *Siren*

Nobody else will do.

[*Siren*]

Must be *Siren*

Nobody else will do.

Aww...you're making me blush.

[f0rged]

Must be *Siren*

Nobody else will do.

teeheehee! *runs away*

Edited May 7, 2010 by f0rged

[XillaToxic]

teeheehee! *runs away*

i agree..lol

[asphyxian_doll]

I would like to make an addendum or two... (well, prolly more than that) to my previous legendary list. Some of these are based on major failage in previous relationships.

1. Don't allude to my music as just being a dumb hobby.

2. Furthermore, to suggest that I give up music and get a "real" job may in fact be worthy of death.

3. Don't you EVAR besmirch Journey in my presence. Yeah, I mean this Journey...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFC8sDTXlng&feature=related

I don't follow the "gothical-at-all-costs" rules, which means I fuckin' love Journey. Provoke me and I'll start a "watch me humiliate your favorite shit-bands" thread. You'll either cry to your fat mom or hate me.

4. It's a good idea if you're with me because you actually are interested in me, not just because you can't go for 4 days without a big cock inside of you. I'll figure it out soon enough.

5. Don't be a dude.

6. If I say I want to go to the renaissance festival every day of every weekend for the duration of said extravaganza, thous wouldst do well to entreat upon thy beloved well wishes and perchance the escort of a fair maiden.

7. I dated someone who was uber:hot once upon a time not so long ago. She never listened to any of my music. Hey, fuck you cock-nostril. Proper-dumped on grounds of lack of genuine interest.

8. When I start talking about the music, cultures and foods of the peoples of a far off land, don't laugh, or smirk or chide me. I can't slap you in your disrespectin' talk-hole, but I can and will dump you in front of the people whom you seek to impress the most.

9. If I make you cookies, you'd better at least pre-fuckin-tend to like them.

The end

Please provoke.

Replace Journey with VNV Nation, and slightly change context to be directed towards the male anatomy...

and we've got a winner here.

I agree.

Cept I'd add

"Must be respectful of my spiritual beliefs, and must be able to hold a conversation on a gut level."

Seems I ask too much.

[Msterbeau]

"Must be respectful of my spiritual beliefs, and must be able to hold a conversation on a gut level."

So you want a guy that will talk at your stomach?

[Eevee]

So you want a guy that will talk at your stomach?

I thought you said "a guy that will make you a sandwich" (am I hungry or what? )

And I would have to say...a guy who can cook or make me food, would be a very nice requirement indeed.

[Msterbeau]

I thought you said "a guy that will make you a sandwich" (am I hungry or what? )

And I would have to say...a guy who can cook or make me food, would be a very nice requirement indeed.

*Makes Eevee a grilled sammich*