Do You Stare At People?

[Riku Namako]

depends.

if I'm staring at someone I'm attracted to, and our eyes meet, I get shy and look away like a lost child. if its a staring contest, guaranteed, I'll lose, I end up laughing when nothing is funny, I'm too self concious and think that i probably look retarded....

[thewhiterecluse]

I don't stare, thats kind of rude. But I do gaze over at people and look curiously. I'm an observer thats just how I am. I must admit though out of all of the states I have visited, Michigan has the most beautiful people I've laid eyes on. Whatever you all are mixed with keeping it going ;o)

Edited July 18, 2009 by thewhiterecluse

[Confess]

I don't stare, thats kind of rude. But I do gaze over at people and look curiously. I'm an observer thats just how I am. I must admit though out of all of the states I have visited, Michigan has the most beautiful people I've laid eyes on. Whatever you all are mixed with keeping it going ;o)

I was thinking that exact same thing about Missouri yesterday.

I don't stare, but I do look until my curious nature is satisfied.

[Onyx]

I love to people-watch. Sometimes when someone is wearing an amazing outfit or has an incredibly attractive or interesting face it's difficult not to let a gaze linger a little too long.

When you're all gothed up and looking a bit out of the ordinary though, aren't you in a way inviting others to admire or at least notice how you stand out? Sometimes looking a little too long isn't intended to make someone uncomfortable, but I can see how it can.

[prick]

I do stare but I can do it without being noticed. I stare at all of you lovely ladies but none of you know it.

[TygerLili]

I do stare but I can do it without being noticed. I stare at all of you lovely ladies but none of you know it.

Now they do!

[pomba gira]

I (being the most stared at person I know) only stare at starers (word?)...

I may look at someone (for a time) who is taken as "disabled"... it is generally to marvel at some 'quirk of nature' (I am into seeing the diversity of Humanity)...OR to discern 'how they do it' (a mental/emotional excercise my Shrinker taught me)...

Me too. I don't think what I do is "staring"... but I will certainly take my time looking at anyone who is interesting to look at. In the case of a "disabled" or "disfigured" person, I think it's ruder to do the "look and quickly look away thing"... that kind of implies the person is too horrible to even look at. I always cringe when people hiss "Don't look at him!" to their children... the lesson there is "There is so much wrongness about this person that we should just pretend she doesn't exist".

AFA people who have purposefully made themselves look "different", I'm with Onyx- not taking time to appreciate the nuances of their "look" kind of dishonors the time & work they put into it!

Edited July 20, 2009 by pomba gira

[Rev.Reverence]

Me too. I don't think what I do is "staring"... but I will certainly take my time looking at anyone who is interesting to look at. In the case of a "disabled" or "disfigured" person, I think it's ruder to do the "look and quickly look away thing"... that kind of implies the person is too horrible to even look at. I always cringe when people hiss "Don't look at him!" to their children... the lesson there is "There is so much wrongness about this person that we should just pretend she doesn't exist".

AFA people who have purposefully made themselves look "different", I'm with Onyx- not taking time to appreciate the nuances of their "look" kind of dishonors the time & work they put into it!

Exactly what I'm talkin' about...where it is worse to look quick then look away...I find myself looking (not gawking)..until they notice, then, I smile, nod, & may give a wink/salute`/tip-'o-th'-hat (especially be it a child)...as, I know how much such a sign of respect is appreciated when one is largely overlooked.

It brings joy, where there was none, or where there was sorrow...to live thus, is a blessing to the Universe.

[AstralCrux]

I stare at the pretty people. If there is something fashionably pleasing about an outfit, or I'm trying to figure out how it's made, I gawk. But, I eventually meander up and start talking to the person I'm gawking at. I've had many a very long and interesting conversation about what someone is wearing and where they shop.

I also gawk at people wearing rediculious things. They deserve it, how can people dress like that and not look in a mirror before they leave the house? If you have a mullet- I will stare and giggle internally until I dang near fall over or start giggling out loud. I seriously couldn't keep a straight face, but I was in a wal-mart in Taylortucky. What did I expect? But, yes, I laughed and Jeff Foxworthy jokes ran through my head.

[thewhiterecluse]

I was thinking that exact same thing about Missouri yesterday.

I don't stare, but I do look until my curious nature is satisfied.

I mean this in a heterosexual way, but you're a good looking guy. Run across a lucky lady?

Edited July 25, 2009 by thewhiterecluse

[TheOsakaKoneko]

Sometimes I've stared at "preppy fashion" like "omfg...that's IN? How the hell could something so horrible be trendy?" and with preppy girls I don't care if they know I"m staring at them with hostility because they've done the same to me my entire life.

This comment makes me sad. Because some preppy girls were rude to you you should pass it on and be rude to others? Unless it's the same girl, then you are discriminating against them just for what they are wearing the same as they did to you. Just because someone is dressed a certain way doesn't make them a certain type of person. Unless you think everyone wearing a black trench is going to shoot up a school?

I might make a catty remark to a friend about someone who is horribly dressed or who is acting like a jackass. Who hasn't at one time or another? As far as I'm concerned, they're asking for it.

This one makes me sad too. I get catty remarks, stares, teenyboppers taking cell phone pictures of me all the time. I don't like it, but I accept it. I did bring it on myself by dressing like I do. But that doesn't make the people who do it any less incredibly rude for doing so. I'm not surprised that it happens, and I usually won't get my bloomers in a twist about it, but nonetheless, it's a horrible thing to do. Now you might protest and say your definition of 'horrible dressed' is something else, but it's still the same thing.

I (being the most stared at person I know) only stare at starers (word?)...

+200

Only if there is a characteristic which I find idly fascinating about the person; whether they be uncommonly beautiful, or uncommonly mis-shapen, or perhaps they have a unusually prominent physical feature, or are expressively and/or nattily dressed. Sometimes I can't resist a few forgivably-human "double-takes" at wonderous people. <img src="http://www.detroitgothic.net/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=" " border="0" alt="smile.gif" /> I love diversity, so I enjoy taking in its many forms. I always reward the object of my temporary amusement with a warm smile and a nod if they catch my eye, in appreciation of their individualness. The chances of me striking up conversation with people I find so interesting are very high. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=" " border="0" alt="smile.gif" />

I do stare at people who are wonderful and interesting. I hope they take it as a positive. I can't help but analyze how an incredibly gorgeous outfit is put together, and admire a particularly impressive hairstyle. I try to mention it to the person or smile and somehow let them know that I am looking in appreciation, not disdain. There have been times when I have felt stared at and got unhappy only to realize they were complimenting me. So now I try to tell myself whenever I am stared at that the person is appreciating, not making fun of me...unless I can hear them or see them making fun of me. In which case I still usually don't let it bother me, butit is annoying and rude nonetheless.

I love to people-watch. Sometimes when someone is wearing an amazing outfit or has an incredibly attractive or interesting face it's difficult not to let a gaze linger a little too long.

When you're all gothed up and looking a bit out of the ordinary though, aren't you in a way inviting others to admire or at least notice how you stand out? Sometimes looking a little too long isn't intended to make someone uncomfortable, but I can see how it can.

Agreed. But you can usually tell when someone is admiring vs disdaining...

I stare at the pretty people. If there is something fashionably pleasing about an outfit, or I'm trying to figure out how it's made, I gawk. But, I eventually meander up and start talking to the person I'm gawking at. I've had many a very long and interesting conversation about what someone is wearing and where they shop.

I also gawk at people wearing rediculious things. They deserve it, how can people dress like that and not look in a mirror before they leave the house? If you have a mullet- I will stare and giggle internally until I dang near fall over or start giggling out loud. I seriously couldn't keep a straight face, but I was in a wal-mart in Taylortucky. What did I expect? But, yes, I laughed and Jeff Foxworthy jokes ran through my head.

The first part I totally agree with, the second part I totally disagree with. It's sad that Person B should have to put up with your rudeness. You are only the counterpart to some other person who would do the same to Person A. If you appreciate it, good, look and compliment and speak. If you hate it, shut the hell up and let that person go about their life without you bringing unpleasantness to it.

I have had the worst experiences particularly on those occasions when I set foot in a Walmart...the most unconscionably rude people seem to shop there. Apparently like this one above.

(Edit to fix code)

Edited July 29, 2009 by TheOsakaKoneko

[AstralCrux]

The first part I totally agree with, the second part I totally disagree with. It's sad that Person B should have to put up with your rudeness. You are only the counterpart to some other person who would do the same to Person A. If you appreciate it, good, look and compliment and speak. If you hate it, shut the hell up and let that person go about their life without you bringing unpleasantness to it.

I have had the worst experiences particularly on those occasions when I set foot in a Walmart...the most unconscionably rude people seem to shop there. Apparently like this one above.

I try, on an ever constant basis to look past alot, but good god a mullet? I really quite rarely actually find someone so unappealing. Most people I just don't even notice. It was pointed out by my sister years ago that I just don't even see most people. I breeze right by them.

I've spent much more of my free time complimenting people. I go out of my way to do it. High fives, drilling people about where they shop, or even just telling someone I completely dig on the outfit are my favorite forms of fashionable congradulations.

So, my dilemma is that you assume I'm just tracking down the crazy freaks in mullets to giggle at. Nah, and more often I don't notice them, but dang it if Jeff Foxworthy doesn't run through my head when I do notice. I also, would never laugh in front of the person. I wait and laugh later. You're judging me on a simple post about my reactions- I quoted a few specific reactions, but that in no way shape or form would give you a good idea as to my personality.

I'm sorry you haven't gotten over being judged in your past, I have and that's why I embrace the positive and spend most of my time giving compliments. It's a message board... Chill.

[TheOsakaKoneko]

I try, on an ever constant basis to look past alot, but good god a mullet? I really quite rarely actually find someone so unappealing. Most people I just don't even notice. It was pointed out by my sister years ago that I just don't even see most people. I breeze right by them.

I've spent much more of my free time complimenting people. I go out of my way to do it. High fives, drilling people about where they shop, or even just telling someone I completely dig on the outfit are my favorite forms of fashionable congradulations.

So, my dilemma is that you assume I'm just tracking down the crazy freaks in mullets to giggle at. Nah, and more often I don't notice them, but dang it if Jeff Foxworthy doesn't run through my head when I do notice. I also, would never laugh in front of the person. I wait and laugh later. You're judging me on a simple post about my reactions- I quoted a few specific reactions, but that in no way shape or form would give you a good idea as to my personality.

I'm sorry you haven't gotten over being judged in your past, I have and that's why I embrace the positive and spend most of my time giving compliments. It's a message board... Chill.

I actually wasn't assuming you tracked down the crazy freaks. (Don't know where you got that from.) It's enough to laugh when you do see them. And if you don't laugh in front of them, then that's different. God, I know I get laughed at - the fact that someone I don't even know, or even that I do know, thinks I look like a freak does not bother me. At all. But having to deal with people pointing and laughing at me and making snide comments behind my back where I can still hear them just sucks - this is just not something we should have to deal with. Not that it makes me get emo and cry, and it's not like I expect it never to happen - but the person doing it is still rude. If you don't say anything or make any visible/audible reaction in front of them, then it doesn't affect them at all, and I have no issue. If you kept your laughter to yourself, that's one thing - we all sometimes have a good laugh at fashions we don't like. But you implied that you didn't keep your laughter to yourself, but couldn't keep a straight face and laughed - I thought you meant in the store in front of him. If this was not the case, as you now say, it's a different story altogether.

I wasn't judging you at all - I hadn't even made a mental note of who said it. I was only reacting to the words that were said, and in general to people who do those things. I didn't think anything about you personally whatsoever. I don't know or care anything about your personality. I said that to do those things would be rude, and in my opinion, it is.

Think whatever you want about me, that I "haven't gotten over being judged in the past"...doesn't bother me. But my only point was that we should try to be civil to other people, both those we do like and those we don't, and that to express our disapproval of others in front of them does nothing but bring unpleasantness to their day, and I stand by this thought.

[AstralCrux]

But my only point was that we should try to be civil to other people, both those we do like and those we don't, and that to express our disapproval of others in front of them does nothing but bring unpleasantness to their day, and I stand by this thought.

I agree with you, but by posting your disapproval of things others said about their reactions, especially so specific and so many with quotes rather than a general statement struck me as so ironic I couldn't help but reply.

I'm constantly trying to change the way people think about the goth stereotype. My aura tends to reflect that positive vibe I try to give off, so I very rarely get negative comments about my "look" no matter what I wear. More often than not, I'm stopped in full goth regalia at grocery stores and told "continue to be yourself, and don't change for others- you're beautiful the way you are." I'd like to run across you at the club, because I've seen pics of you and I can't understand why you would get negative comments. I wonder if I would be able to help you with that.

[TheOsakaKoneko]

I agree with you, but by posting your disapproval of things others said about their reactions, especially so specific and so many with quotes rather than a general statement struck me as so ironic I couldn't help but reply.

I'm constantly trying to change the way people think about the goth stereotype. My aura tends to reflect that positive vibe I try to give off, so I very rarely get negative comments about my "look" no matter what I wear. More often than not, I'm stopped in full goth regalia at grocery stores and told "continue to be yourself, and don't change for others- you're beautiful the way you are." I'd like to run across you at the club, because I've seen pics of you and I can't understand why you would get negative comments. I wonder if I would be able to help you with that.

This isn't really going to go anywhere. I'm sorry if you took what I said personally. You're right - I shouldn't have singled everyone out like that. The truth is, I love so many of the people I did single out quite a lot and I was a bit stunned to see them talk like that. I guess it just hit a nerve.

I think there's a lot of negativity in every group, and it always bugs me - always has. Even before I dressed alternatively at all and never had anyone talk about me like this. I can't understand why goths, lolitas, etc, would hate on the 'normies' or any other group - just because it's the exact same thing as when those people hate you us. When I'm with a group of friends dressed all goth or other alternative, and the people I'm with loudly make fun of people who happen to be wearing jeans and "preppy" shirts, it is just painful, just as painful as when some of those other people make fun of us. I just...don't like when people are rude about others' appearance and style of dress. It just makes me sad, because I know what it's like to be on the other side.

That said...I'm not that often on the other side, and usually when I am, it's from a teenager or pre-teen group who are trying to impress each other with how cool they can be. We've all been that age and in that stage where it's "Cool" to make fun of other people in front of your friends. (I never cared for it, but because of that I never was all that "cool" in high school hahaha..) Anyway, it doesn't bother me. I do get lots of people asking where I shop all the time and complimenting me, and I'm pretty friendly to most people. It just bothers me when I see people talking about making fun of people for how they dress who are not teenagers/etc, because it implies to me that they are still in this phase, or just don't realize that yes, it can cause hurt feelings.

I admit that the way I commented probably earned me this trading of comments, and I apologize for "calling you out". But please don't assume it stems from any deep hidden pain from being bullied in my own past - that's simply not the case. It bothers me more often when the 'weird ones' make fun of the 'normal ones' than the other way around, just because I do think it's a shame the effect it has on "the goth stereotype". Even if 99.9% of the world would never consider me "goth".

[asphyxian_doll]

<!--coloro:#FFFF00--><span style="color:#FFFF00"><!--/coloro-->I do it from time to time, NEVER to people that are actually disabled. I've LOOKED (I never STARE, just one glance usually and then my brain registers "omfg") over at people eating in buffets sometimes out of natural reaction due to their particular appearance. Sometimes I've stared at "preppy fashion" like "omfg...that's IN? How the hell could something so horrible be trendy?" and with preppy girls I don't care if they know I"m staring at them with hostility because they've done the same to me my entire life.<!--colorc--></span><!--/colorc-->

They might be preppy but their not the same kids that hurt you...

I actually compliment the girls who wear preppy clothing, and have bright personalities, because I've found the goth kids with no social skills end up being the most toxic, hateful, and angry people.

Not all of them....but the body language does breed isolation....which is why they are stared at so goddamn much.

Its Not the clothing that makes me shy away from a person....its the body language and attitude.

I've found ugly in all people, of all styles...

And more importantly, found beauty and divinity in all people, of all styles...including scene, emo, preppy, looking people who listen to Britany Spears, and Lady Gaga.

Who gives a shit....they're people.

And they have the same rights as you do, despite our personal preferences.

I don't stare....I observe, and make a note to start conversation with anyone who notices my observing them.

Edited September 30, 2009 by asphyxian_doll

[honeymustard02]

I have ALWAYS been a people watcher. Doesn't matter what you look like really. I just like to watch people and what they do. Something about your outfit might catch my eye (shiny!!!!!) or you may be acting odd. Doesn't matter Im still gonna watch you

I watch out of curiousity. Think about why someone looks the way they do. What they are like as a person.

IF someone has an injury and is disabled I wonder what its like to be in their place. Just because someone stares doesnt mean its because they are being judgemental or negative. A lot of times they are just curious or find you interesting.

GOD that makes me sound like such a creep! I'll go back to skulking in the bushes now!

[LittleMissLuckyCunt (1)]

I'm a people watcher. I don't stare, unless they're realllly drunk and acting stupid.

[bean]

I'm a people watcher. People fascinate me - what they wear, how they carry themselves, how they interact with others, etc.

I often find myself smiling at people. Most people scowl, but some smile back

[FortisLombardi]

I'm a people watcher too--If you find me staring at you, there's only one of two reasons: 1.) You're fuck ugly, or 2.) You're a hot girl.

[Destroit]

toxic, hateful, and angry people

But...but! It translates into dark wit! I dunno, I figured goth people are generally supposed to be dark, I prefer it rather than uppity cheery people all the time, but then again that be muh goth preference. Dark wit FTW.

Edited October 18, 2009 by Chernobyl

[Lillylu29]

I'm a people watcher also... I dont stare but observe others. people fasanate me. Things they do, things they wear.