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How Are You Feeling?


Troy Spiral

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I am feeling quite lonely. after having a companion for 5 years its very hard adjusting to being alone. And its not like before I got married. I actually had a few friends and stuff but now I dont even have that or my granma who passed away a year a a few months ago. The only company I have now are my sock monkeys. I take no comfort in company with my family because they only upset me when I am around them. So I feel utterly alone and it really tares me up. My divorce will be final may 20th. The realization that my marriage is over only makes the loneliness and pain more intense. One of my good friends turned her back on me when I sought her help out. She used to be a nice person but changed into someone different and despite my loyalty, honesty and compassion she threw it all away because of her own issues and I guess it didnt help her and my ex husband had an affair which I forgave her for and so now I sit here online searching for friends, someone to spend time with and possibly a soul mate not that Im in a rush for another man in my life. I just got over being very suicidally depressed and I ODed last month on pain meds in a half assed effort to do myself in. I cant explain in words how much I hurt inside. No matter how I try to cope I cannot rid myself of the grief, sorrow and heartache. Call it wallowing in self pity but if you were in my shoes and experienced the life I have then maybe you would understand and be more compassionate. The Fairy Gothmother always puts on a brave face and soldiers on but truly each day that goes by I feel like Im dying inside and the physical pain that accompanies it only makes it even more agonizing. I always wish to fade away because truth be told I have been torn apart, cheated, and left with nothing. I try filling the gaps and being happy and stuff but it seems like if I do I get condemned for it. I feel so pathetic and I probably am pathetic. :crybaby:

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I am feeling quite lonely. after having a companion for 5 years its very hard adjusting to being alone...I always wish to fade away because truth be told I have been torn apart, cheated, and left with nothing. I try filling the gaps and being happy and stuff but it seems like if I do I get condemned for it. I feel so pathetic and I probably am pathetic. :crybaby:

((Hugs))

I'd click the emoticon but IE only pulls up some of them with the new upgrade

This may be impossible, but, at some point you NEED to move to metro Detroit.

If you stay there much longer, it will become like the Shining.

I may be a hypocrite... but at least I know I am and can admit it.... as opposed to.... well.... yeah.

I pheel like there's a difference between stating and defending your opinion and being batshit crazy.

I pheel that you bend over backwards, even for a mod, to show how you had the best intentions in any of your posts.

I pheel that it's important to remember that some people truly want to start shit,

and actually bait others into fights to make them feel a sense of superiority to compensate for their failings and lack of achievement.

I pheel that there's a difference between passion and anger and we should all try to watch for the difference in our lives.

I pheel that if I was a mod, I'd bite my tongue so many times, I'd chew it clear off.

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((Hugs))

I'd click the emoticon but IE only pulls up some of them with the new upgrade

This may be impossible, but, at some point you NEED to move to metro Detroit.

If you stay there much longer, it will become like the Shining.

I pheel like there's a difference between stating and defending your opinion and being batshit crazy.

I pheel that you bend over backwards, even for a mod, to show how you had the best intentions in any of your posts.

I pheel that it's important to remember that some people truly want to start shit,

and actually bait others into fights to make them feel a sense of superiority to compensate for their failings and lack of achievement.

I pheel that there's a difference between passion and anger and we should all try to watch for the difference in our lives.

I pheel that if I was a mod, I'd bite my tongue so many times, I'd chew it clear off.

I feel this post deserves a +1 :clap:

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