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How Are You Feeling?


Troy Spiral

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I have an energy inside that needs to get out, but I am trapped by my day job and responsibilities. I am not meant for regular humdrum, day to day bull crap! I have sooo many other things I should be doing and working on.

So, in a nutshell: frustrated, trapped, and like I missed my chance.

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Despite how bad this hurts to let you go, despite how sad inside I am over this, I have to thank you because you made me feel something I never thought I would feel again. I hope one day someone in this world and this life can spark a feeling of love inside you for them the way you have for me. You may not care to understand why I feel positive feelings for you..and if I knew why maybe I could have said it in a more practical way..but I didn't know how..I only knew that what I feel was something I wanted to hold forever. This sucks.

Edited by kat
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Feeling extremely confused...as much of a recluse as I am, I feel I may be too social for DGN.

I am not sure how this is supposed to work, but with every attempt I have made to hang with members here, there are forces that mark the contrary...

I either leave a place too soon or DGN members seem afraid to approach members on a dance floor or timing and money always seem to be an issue.

I figured that offering to buy someone a drink would make them more open to seeking me out...boy was that ever a miss.

I don't have outside friends...

I don't drink...

I don't smoke...

I don't do drugs...

I don't have a relationship...

Standing on the outside looking in, my life pretty much sucks.

I always thought it would be cool to find and hang out with like minded individuals...I guess I didn't think that through.

If I'm a recluse anti-social outcast looking for a recluse anti-social outcast the outcome would dictate that neither the two shall meet. Likewise, given a social outcast seeking an anti-social outcast yields the same results.

sou to itte mo, dou sureba ii deshou ka...

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