How Are You Feeling?

[the_fairy_gothmother]

Well right at this moment I am feeling a bit stressed and tired. Alot has been going on and big changes. First my husband got a full time job at BMW which is awesome and I am proud of him but it at the same time is stressful as we must sort out time management. My birthday is tomorrow but we will be celebrating a month late because well hes paid a salary and as this is the last month of being broke without spare it is what it is. I also am stating a medical weight loss program the end of the month. Doing the paperwork now after going to the initial program seminar at St. Georgs medical center.

At the same time I am excited because these things big changes will bring good things. Our move to Leipzig has been the most amazing and awesome decision ever. We could not afford tickets this year but we still got to experience some of Wave Gotik Treffen and seeing the city taken over by goths and going to the free events and gatherings was beautiful and amazing. Starting to make friends, connections and living in a city that offers so much for the scene not only during WGT but year round is for me a dream come true. so my husband work, my getting my health sorted means by next year I will have some amazing things to share with you.

[kat (1)]

II guess I should feel greatful to have someone at least here to take care of me.

[kat (1)]

I don't know what to expect now. I feel lost and confused. I don't know what the hell is going on with my life. Maybe being so resilant to things my entire life was not intended to be in the plan by God, the universe all along. Maybe I was supposed to succumb to an end a long time ago but somehow someway, something missed its target or deadline, mission just a slight enough to cause me trauma and tragedy but not quite eliminate or destroy ME? Yeah this sounds crazy but why does it feel like something evil is chasing me, especially now

.maybe my grandma was right when I was a little girl, she said why couldn't they just leave us alone..Noone still acts like they have any idea what she meant..

 

[Troy Spiral (13)]

I don't know what to expect now. I feel lost and confused. I don't know what the hell is going on with my life. Maybe being so resilant to things my entire life was not intended to be in the plan by God, the universe all along. Maybe I was supposed to succumb to an end a long time ago but somehow someway, something missed its target or deadline, mission just a slight enough to cause me trauma and tragedy but not quite eliminate or destroy ME? Yeah this sounds crazy but why does it feel like something evil is chasing me, especially now

.maybe my grandma was right when I was a little girl, she said why couldn't they just leave us alone..Noone still acts like they have any idea what she meant..

 

I don't think there is any grand plan.  Its up to us to decide how or what things "aught" to be.   *random hug*

[kat (1)]

I don't think there is any grand plan.  Its up to us to decide how or what things "aught" to be.   *random hug*

things feel very dark and I'm afraid of losing what I had before, I don't know if my mind will be the same, my face, I take myself forgranted and put myself down because of opinions of other people throughout my life when what really matters is what I know about myself. I also literally put my fear of failure in front of my life that day because I am so afraid of being back on the street, homeless like before, that picture, that thought is burned in my mind I see it everyday, I live in fear of it everyday.. Now, ironically, I may lose my driving privileges, hence losing the job. Right now back on Short term disability: (

I wish I was at work.

Edited July 13, 2015 by kat

[kat (1)]

I am on day 4, the pressure in my face and head was too much to handle so I went back to the hospital, a good hospital and they gave me real pain meds, they did a full body x-ray on the injuries on my legs and shoulder as well and found nothing, not even a nose broken which I am confused because the first hospital said I broke my nose and possibly dislocated it. I am slowly healing but I am so many shades of blue and yellow, black and purple but right now....here is today:

Graphic:

 

 

 

 

I wanted to make it smaller I am sorry. 

Edited July 14, 2015 by kat

[TronRP]

I feel like I handled a bad situation in the best way I could without degrading anyone. At least I hope I didn't degrade anyone. 

I am on day 4, the pressure in my face and head was too much to handle so I went back to the hospital, a good hospital and they gave me real pain meds, they did a full body x-ray on the injuries on my legs and shoulder as well and found nothing, not even a nose broken which I am confused because the first hospital said I broke my nose and possibly dislocated it. I am slowly healing but I am so many shades of blue and yellow, black and purple but right now....

Thankyou for the updates. Progress reports are most welcomed. I feel you should get more rest.

I feel utterly confused at the moment. The board programming decided it wanted to merge my last two posts.  At least it was polite enough to notify me about it...

[Troy Spiral (13)]

I feel like I handled a bad situation in the best way I could without degrading anyone. At least I hope I didn't degrade anyone. 

Thankyou for the updates. Progress reports are most welcomed. I feel you should get more rest.

I feel utterly confused at the moment. The board programming decided it wanted to merge my last two posts.  At least it was polite enough to notify me about it...

I've looked for the setting for that but haven't found it.  Its merged posts I didn't really want merged as well.   I'll find it , just still working on basic crap like getting the board to run less shitty (still running to slow) and makeing the whole thing look "more like DGN" and a zillion other things....   doh just did it to me.

I am on day 4, the pressure in my face and head was too much to handle so I went back to the hospital, a good hospital and they gave me real pain meds, they did a full body x-ray on the injuries on my legs and shoulder as well and found nothing, not even a nose broken which I am confused because the first hospital said I broke my nose and possibly dislocated it. I am slowly healing but I am so many shades of blue and yellow, black and purple but right now....here is today:

Graphic:

 

 

 

 

I wanted to make it smaller I am sorry. 

The size is fine. But, Ouch.   *hugs*

 

Edited July 15, 2015 by Troy Spiral

[Troy Spiral (13)]

The board programming decided it wanted to merge my last two posts.  At least it was polite enough to notify me about it...

Fixed now .... I hope... *shakes angry fist at board*

[TronRP]

I feel mentally drained. Trying to save these account from corporate lawyers, trying to impart needed life lessons on my brother's kids, trying to keep up with the ongoing responsibilities I had before June, trying to adjust to the responsibilities that arrived with June.

I feel so stressed I want to cry, but I'm too stressed to shed tears...

[TronRP]

Well, I'm glad I didn't get my hopes up regarding Cancer Treatment Centers of America. So I'm feeling expectantly disappointed. 

[kat (1)]

It's been a week, they have released me to get back to work on Monday... But the baby. I know I am kinda old too have another, kinda poor, and I was terrified but deep inside I prayed for that baby, I wanted her ( I think she was a she, she was a Lily) That was probably my last chance and she's gone. I miss what could have been. I already loved her.

Edited July 18, 2015 by kat

[TronRP]

It's been a week, they have released me to get back to work on Monday... But the baby. I know I am kinda old too have another, kinda poor, and I was terrified but deep inside I prayed for that baby, I wanted her ( I think she was a she, she was a Lily) That was probably my last chance and she's gone. I miss what could have been. I already loved her.

[kat (1)]

thank-you

I was selfish for my desire

If it is meant it will happen when god the universe, Zeus, Budha, Mary, and St Patrick feel it right.

[TronRP]

Feeling pretty much accomplished at the moment. Got my front porch jacked up and front hedges trimmed and took a bath all before 8pm.

[Trene4000]

I am pissed thinking about how our mom blew off the Cancer Treatment Centers of America back in October of last year just because she didn't want to leave the house. They could have actually treated her more successfully than Karmanos, which burned out her hair, and U of M who were wishy washy about caring for her. 

[creatureofthenyte]

Meh

[kat (1)]

Things seem different. Life is not the same. I drove the first time since Friday today and it felt so good but I was like hyperaware, like on guard, not nervous though which was surprising. 

Never take ANYONE, ANYTHING forgranted.

Life is too short to hate, to be Petty, to fight. I want to be remembered for being a good person not a nasty, horrible woman. I do not like how angry I have been in my life to myself or anyone else. I take full responsibility for me as an adult. Even if another person has been involved in me messing up, I made bad decisions and I accept responsibility, forgive anyone I ever blamed for anything and I also forgive myself.

[kat (1)]

This one was taken yesterday:

[TronRP]

Things seem different. Life is not the same. I drove the first time since Friday today and it felt so good but I was like hyperaware, like on guard, not nervous though which was surprising. 

Never take ANYONE, ANYTHING forgranted.

Life is too short to hate, to be Petty, to fight. I want to be remembered for being a good person not a nasty, horrible woman. I do not like how angry I have been in my life to myself or anyone else. I take full responsibility for me as an adult. Even if another person has been involved in me messing up, I made bad decisions and I accept responsibility, forgive anyone I ever blamed for anything and I also forgive myself.

Definitely words to live by...

[kat (1)]

Kinda scared at work. What if I can't do this anymore?

[kat (1)]

Today, taken just now, I covered up most of the bruising today but half my face is black (my coworker noticed even) 

 

 

[creatureofthenyte]

Like I had a serious conversation today.

Things needed to be said and they were.

I feel better. 

I don't know if there will be any repercussions, but I don't care.

[Trene4000]

Dang!!!!! I am in so much pain! I don't know what Mobic did but I wish I had it back! Gaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

[kat (1)]

Have no fear, when needed God WILL slap the shit out of you, he, she, they will bust your skull until you listen.

Long time coming, I got you. I'm good. Thanks

Edited July 23, 2015 by kat