How Are You Feeling?

[creatureofthenyte]

I feel like I'm watching tv.

[TronRP]

I feel rather embarrassed. I think I had a nervous breakdown this morning, unfortunately, it was with the worst person I could have been talking with at the time. They actually got upset at me for not being able to handle the situation they created. And then the embarrassment was compounded further because it was witnessed by someone just as affected by this entire situation as I am. 

[kat (1)]

http://monroecountyfair.com

there's gonna be stuff..and I'm volunteering August 8th cause I suck so come sees me

I may have swag, like, um, depression pamphlets, and um, um..inkpens... Yea

[kat (1)]

Crying

[kat (1)]

I want my dad and I don't want to have to go to a cematary to see him:(

[creatureofthenyte]

Tired..

[Trene4000]

Like dancing!  I forgot how much fun it was to torment my baby sister.  She's one of those people who always thinks she's right and has to have the last word.  She also lacks conversational skills.  This time she tried to convince me that she wasn't being childish by accusing me of being childish and constantly trying to get the last word.  It was fun watching what she came up with as a response.  It was like watching my nephew and niece trying to clear their name and blame the other.  It was so fun.  She probably threw a fit and went whining to her husband. Man, I don't envy him. 

[kat (1)]

Why is he playing this loving bf shit, he can't even look at me, makes me feel repulsive, can't even have sex with me, ffr? Wow...I'm going to crawl under a rock, I knew I was no prize but damn I feel like a deformed pig. 

I gotta take 3 mg of ativan to calm down because I'm being laughed at by my "loving bf" because I'm going out of my mind. Worried about getting in criminal trouble over the accident, worried about being homeless, worried about losing my freedom, my license, my job, he's laughing, he said he's been there before, bullshit... He has his mother, she fights his battles for him. He doesn't know what it feels like to starve, to beg, to need anything... He even said he could run to his mother if he was ever disabled... I'll never forget that pretentious, entitled, statement.

Edited July 26, 2015 by kat

[TronRP]

Feeling quite cowardly. I was so nervous about having to interact with a certain individual tonight that I actually used my niece and nephew as mingling buffers so I could get out of the place with little to no words between us. Felt like I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

[Trene4000]

I feel exhausted and I don't know why. I exercise to keep up my energy, stretch to maintain flexibility, and meditate to stay calm. Yet, I can't shake this weariness. Sleeping more doesn't help. Sleeping less leaves me more tired. This is all too confusing.

[TronRP]

Feeling somewhat accomplished at the moment. Got the faucet fixed, repaired the broken shutoff, got 6 loads of laundry done, got the majority of the recyclables sorted and got my computer halfway functional again. 

I feel so tired I want to take a nap, but now I have to go pick up meds and get ready to do Home Care watch...I'm not complaining, just need this crazy ride to get just even a little bit easier. 

[creatureofthenyte]

Pooped

[kat (1)]

Tired and hot as he..

 

 

Well, not as hell but its really hot.

Edited July 28, 2015 by kat

[creatureofthenyte]

ok

[kat (1)]

I always thought that the phrase too blessed to be stressed, was crap but I think I feel that way. I get it <3

[kat (1)]

So, to blessed to be stressed,

No time for nobody's mess!

[kat (1)]

There's a spot in front on my skull, forehead above my eye that after about 5 hours no matter if I am on my pain killers or what it starts to get a dull ache and than swells up, its one area..its freakish, like when you see a cartoon and a person is angry and there eyes pop out their sucket, well my head is swelling like at work when I have alot going on, maybe it's telling me my blood pressure is up.

[TronRP]

At last, finally made it back online. 

[kat (1)]

I feel relieved because I am seeing a neurologist tomorrow at the MIND Clinic. I have been reading about brain injuries and it sounds like it could be intercranial pressure, which sounds horrible to treat: (

I hope that it's just something a beta blocker can control because this is not a state I could function fully in. I didn't sleep last night, the swelling is increasing and I feel like I have bolts in my frontal lobe. I should have stayed on Short term disability, I need to heal I'm no good to my job if I am still like this. I am also seeing an attorney about my doctor's negligence, and perhaps the pharmacy as well. He was negligent and the consequences for me have only begun, I could still lose my license, which in turn I lose my job, I could have lost my life, I could have killed people, I could end up permanently disabled... He has to be held accountable.. Just like I am being punished... For trusting him and his practice, I thought pharmacists at least caught these errors? WTF and why? 

[TronRP]

I feel relieved because I am seeing a neurologist tomorrow at the MIND Clinic. I have been reading about brain injuries and it sounds like it could be intercranial pressure, which sounds horrible to treat: (

I hope that it's just something a beta blocker can control because this is not a state I could function fully in. I didn't sleep last night, the swelling is increasing and I feel like I have bolts in my frontal lobe. I should have stayed on Short term disability, I need to heal I'm no good to my job if I am still like this. I am also seeing an attorney about my doctor's negligence, and perhaps the pharmacy as well. He was negligent and the consequences for me have only begun, I could still lose my license, which in turn I lose my job, I could have lost my life, I could have killed people, I could end up permanently disabled... He has to be held accountable.. Just like I am being punished... For trusting him and his practice, I thought pharmacists at least caught these errors? WTF and why? 

I am glad to hear you are doing something about the situation these circumstances have put you in. Your story is beginning to sound a lot like what happened with Trene and her brain injury (that was never truly addressed until after I took her case years after her accident) and our mother with her misdiagnosis - she was given a probiotic for a lump in her side by a doctor who never addressed the reason for her multiple office visits and now it's full blown terminal cancer.

I hope you can find the right attorney to work with you so you don't end up like our family members who have lost tens of thousands of dollars to one attorney law firm and another who lost parental rights to the incompetence of a court appointed lawyer.

I truly wish you luck.

[kat (1)]

I am glad to hear you are doing something about the situation these circumstances have put you in. Your story is beginning to sound a lot like what happened with Trene brain injury (that was never truly addressed until after I took her case years after her accident) and our mother with her misdiagnosis - she was given a probiotic for a lump in her side by a doctor who never addressed the reason for her multiple office visits and now it's full blown terminal cancer.

I hope you can find the right attorney to work with you so you don't end up like our family members who have lost tens of thousands of dollars to one attorney law firm and another who lost parental rights to the incompetence of a court appointed lawyer.

I truly wish you luck.

Thank You. I saw the neurologist. He is saying this is going to be very difficult to treat. I am feeling kinda hopeless hearing a doctor who specialize in brain and nerve disorders admit that: (

[TronRP]

Thank You. I saw the neurologist. He is saying this is going to be very difficult to treat. I am feeling kinda hopeless hearing a doctor who specialize in brain and nerve disorders admit that: (

Dr. Das L. Kareti, MD

https://plus.google.com/107615101659964428788/about?gl=us&hl=en

Neurologist

Phone:(248) 650-9100

If you can't see him, he may be able to suggest a colleague.

[kat (1)]

Dr. Das L. Kareti, MD

https://plus.google.com/107615101659964428788/about?gl=us&hl=en

Neurologist

Phone:(248) 650-9100

If you can't see him, he may be able to suggest a colleague.

thank-you.

[kat (1)]

I am very sad and scared.

[TronRP]

I am beginning to feel like I must be an evil person. While searching for more options to help assists us with the financial and daily care of our mother, I came across this from the hospice care service provider we are currently using:

Working through frustrations
People who are ill often believe they are a burden to their loved ones. In frustration, they may become angry and lash out at those who are closest. The impact of this anger on a tired and anxious caregiver can be devastating. As with all anger, remind yourself that stepping back and allowing “breathing space” gives everyone a chance to put things in perspective.

Easing the burden
Because they often feel like a burden, it is important for patients to know that families and loved ones need to provide care. The process helps them to cope with death, separation and saying goodbye. It is an act of love and an honor to care for someone who is terminally ill.

Things to keep in mind:

• Emphasize that care-giving is a privilege, not a burden
• Affirm the anger rather than deny it
• Talk about expressing feelings honestly
• Contact friends, relatives and hospice personnel to gain the support you need to continue to provide care
• Ask your hospice nurse to contact a social worker or spiritual counselor to help arrange support

Now I feel guilty for wanting to sleep after a long day of work. Now I feel bad for noticing my body is breaking down and exhausted. Now I feel dimwitted for not stashing all my money away for emergencies instead of putting it into rebuilding all our homes. Now I feel lazy for asking serviced for assistance to help care for our mother at home. Now I'm beginning to feel I must be seeing my "privilege" as a "burden".

It is taking 5 adult family members, 2 grandchildren and 1 night aid to provide round the clock care at this point. Everyday for about an hour, a specialty hospice care worker comes by to provide a specific service. Now I know why it felt like the hospice care service kicked us to the curb. Once our mother opted for hospice at home, it all became our responsibility regardless of if we were ready for it or not. And I feel that by us not having been given a choice in the matter, some undercurrent resentment may be stewing that we are not even aware of...at the moment.