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How Are You Feeling?


Troy Spiral

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Stuck and a bit depressed and upset.  I feel like I am on a bicycle on a treadmill watching people walking by as I peddle as hard as I can, not getting anywhere.  If I stop peddling, I will just go flying backwards and fall on my ass.  It's really frustrating and I don't know what to do about it.  I know that everyone goes through times in their lives where they feel like this and I have actually gone through it myself a few times before.  I always just bottled it up and ignored it.  It's just getting harder to ignore and I feel like it is starting to take a toll on my personality.  I never really wanted to be rich or famous or anything special so it's not like I have lofty goals that are impossible to reach.  I just want to be stable and some what comfortable.  I guess that is a bit to much to ask for though.

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I feel like I just definitively was diagnosed with sleep apnea. I feel afraid. I don't want to be sick. I don't want to feel like I can't stay awake for more than a few hours at a time 

 I also feel like the doctor said yea I probably have a sleep apnea/narcolepsy combo but because my oxygen while sleeping is 81 percent he wasn't focused on narcolepsy the only reason he talked about narcolepsy was because I asked him why I only had 8 percent of REM sleep, normal people get 25 percent, that and the sleep doctor wrote it in the report that narcolepsy was a possibility but I need a daytime nap study The doctor said, because I told him I felt like I only had moments of lucidity, like being alert while awake, otherwise I feel like a zombie. He said, Oh yea, you're only getting superficial sleep and you're brain is deprived of oxygen.. Yea you probably do feel terrible. All the years I felt like shit,  I never suspected sleep apnea because I don't really snore so I hope that the surgery did improve my apnea..I don't want to be like this.

Edited by kat
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I don't know why I care if a person let's a guy talk shit and disrespect them, especially if that person don't. 

I'll get banned but I won't be disrespected or accused of something someone assumed. I don't care anymore. 

Edited by kat
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    • I'm glad  that yesterday's day at work is long gone now. There was a very strong unusual energy that I felt, and couldn't get done with the day fast enough. It wasn't  the job at all. I just felt like I really needed to keep my mouth shut, to keep me from getting in situation(s) that probably wouldn't have ended well for me.  
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