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How Are You Feeling?


Troy Spiral

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Feeling kind of lame.

I know I have a lot going on. I am so used to taking care of people with A-type personalities, but with conditions that cause their short-term memories to be all but null and void. I work so hard most times that I forget to take care of myself to the point that I actually found myself crying over the fact that one of the people I care for brought me a roll of bread to eat. It had so much meaning that I couldn't even say how appreciated that made me feel...

...thus, feeling kind of lame at the moment...lol

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Feeling kind of lame.

I know I have a lot going on. I am so used to taking care of people with A-type personalities, but with conditions that cause their short-term memories to be all but null and void. I work so hard most times that I forget to take care of myself to the point that I actually found myself crying over the fact that one of the people I care for brought me a roll of bread to eat. It had so much meaning that I couldn't even say how appreciated that made me feel...

...thus, feeling kind of lame at the moment...lol

Hugs...I'd buy you coffee and stuff if you ever wanted kattronic coffee meetup.

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I admit I feel scared...that life has taken a harsh toll on me that I don't want to have anything hurt me anymore, I am overly sensitive to everythingg, I am tired of being told I need to develop a thick skin, I think that may be true, however the world around me is really starting to scare the shit out of me and grows colder and more lonely everytime because who want's insane people in their life, it makes you insane yourself. I put my mother out, she won't learn and I can't fix anyone but myself and she was no role model for my children, especially my daughter who has an amazing future ahead of her, but it sucks because I don't have anyone else to show her anything positive. It's not my fault..I never had that myself and it is taken a toll everyone needs someone, some kind of family. I am older now and I realize that is important.

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So fucking tired of my self, tired of what I was, all this shit that's been unhealthy for me emotionally has got to go. If I could keep it together while I was married, be superwoman than I can do it again..alone. Fuck it, love myself for once in my life, stop treating everyone else primary to myself like I have been for all these years, clearly I have not made the progress I need.

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Can't tell if I should feel lucky or cursed...I move and lose weight...now we are working to find a high enough calorie diet, that doesn't involve carry out, so I can maintain this new, healthier weight...I'm really beginning to feel embarrassed about the whole thing

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Feels like my body is rebelling on me...it feels broken and misaligned...cry, cry...

Feels like my body is rebelling on me...it feels broken and misaligned...cry, cry...

hugs. Take a bath in ginger powder and epsom salt......I swear you'll feel better or your money back, guarenteed!

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