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How Are You Feeling?

Troy Spiral

By Troy Spiral,
in Health & Well-Being

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kat
kat

Thankful to my family (you guys on here) and strong also buzzed:-)

John schmaltz
John schmaltz

Feeling positive about things for once,I'm glad I found you all.

the eternal
the eternal

I love bed so much it's criminal. Yay Meg!

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kat Mentor

kat (1)

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Outlet found, I called her personally and talked it out and we both know we we're past frustration point with the system and the politics and we drew the conclusion that she knows she had a bad weekend and blew up at me and I know I took out my frustration with the lack of overall knowledge in the community about the stigma and we're both passionate about the people and just needed to let out the build up on each other, she admitted she took all her frustration out on me..and I said we come from similar backgrounds and we get very passionate.. And she finished the sentence with and be wanting to fight"..lol, which yea the adrenal starts pumping no matter how educated you are, the inner hood was building in both of us, that's why I told her we'll discuss this when you're not so emotional cause I was about there.. Which is why I removed myself. She said she felt terrible as soon as I left and I said I did too..and I was like what just happened, we like and respect each other, this women praises me to our bosses.. And she does mean well in her mission, so overall shits squashed mission resumes. I feel better and I could tell she was upset and felt better when we talked. She's a good person in reality, I was just pissed cause our communication error. It's all good now:)

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TronRP Grand Master

TronRP

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Outlet found, I called her personally and talked it out and we both know we we're past frustration point with the system and the politics and we drew the conclusion that she knows she had a bad weekend and blew up at me and I know I took out my frustration with the lack of overall knowledge in the community about the stigma and we're both passionate about the people and just needed to let out the build up on each other, she admitted she took all her frustration out on me..and I said we come from similar backgrounds and we get very passionate.. And she finished the sentence with and be wanting to fight"..lol, which yea the adrenal starts pumping no matter how educated you are, the inner hood was building in both of us, that's why I told her we'll discuss this when you're not so emotional cause I was about there.. Which is why I removed myself. She said she felt terrible as soon as I left and I said I did too..and I was like what just happened, we like and respect each other, this women praises me to our bosses.. And she does mean well in her mission, so overall shits squashed mission resumes. I feel better and I could tell she was upset and felt better when we talked. She's a good person in reality, I was just pissed cause our communication error. It's all good now:)

Yay...Hurray for small victories!

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kat Mentor

kat (1)

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I kind of feel like I should cut my hair and get bangs again, maybe some highlights, idk. I don't want any length gone, I'm trying to see if I can grow my hair the length it was when I was 15. I had beautiful hair..I bet I can grow it that long again, I kind of miss having bangs plus it covered the scar. *ponders*

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TronRP Grand Master

TronRP

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I kind of feel like I should cut my hair and get bangs again, maybe some highlights, idk. I don't want any length gone, I'm trying to see if I can grow my hair the length it was when I was 15. I had beautiful hair..I bet I can grow it that long again, I kind of miss having bangs plus it covered the scar. *ponders*

Scar? :blink:

*strains memory muscle*

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kat Mentor

kat (1)

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I feel if I could redo my life I would have ran away to like NYC or LA or Nashville and done something amazing instead of.. This thankless, emotional thing..I love where I work but I don't love the community and the politics in said community. Old money snobs. People think county CMH are god and that we have and should lock mentally ill people up and throw away the key.. Not good as someone who is imperfect and has the history of issues like me, I'm personally offended, my coworker said it best..she said they'd burn her at the stake, that sums it up well.

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Trene4000

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I felt like smashing out the window to my house. My Cashew was calling me and all I could do was watch him staring and meowing through the glass. I've only managed to get three hours of sleep today. I was awakened by that memory. He kept looking towards the door asking me to come in and all I could do was talk to him through the glass. I feel like I'm being punished for getting injured. I've been locked out going on five years now! I understand the reasoning behind it but I don't see the difference. Both places are nothing but obstacle courses, yet its okay for me to be in one by myself but not the other? I constantly trip over, run into, or fall over stuff here all the time. At least there I can only be in one area. Here I fell down the stairs, busted my arm and gave myself a concussion. There, I got covered in cat hair.

Yeah...

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TronRP Grand Master

TronRP

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I feel like crying all the time and like no one cares except for what they can remember they are going through. I am truly cursed. I lost my job. I lost my relationship. I get taken for granted. I get no sleep. I get taken advantage of. I do everything. I can never do enough. I am the last of the functional ones. I bear the weight of everything. I get annoyed looks if I talk about my situation to anyone for too long. Everyone has some form of outlet....but I just want to disappear...but that would be irresponsible.

Stupid ranting over

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TronRP Grand Master

TronRP

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That stupid rant actually made me feel better. I can't change a lot of the stuff that's going on nor any of the stuff that has already happened, but finally admitting it to myself and seeing it in "black and white" actually gave me pause.

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Trene4000 Collaborator

Trene4000

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That stupid rant actually made me feel better. I can't change a lot of the stuff that's going on nor any of the stuff that has already happened, but finally admitting it to myself and seeing it in "black and white" actually gave me pause.

That's why I told you to type it even if it makes you feel embarrassed. Once things are written down you actually feel much better. Except for pain. Pain is cruel and heartless. It refuses to be relinquished or ignored. One must find other ways of dealing with and killing pain. It sits there throbbing and stabbing and slashing throughout your body until you can find the right combination of pain killers and rest, and even then it takes a while to defeat ... if at all...

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kat Mentor

kat (1)

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I feel hopeful. After an anxiety attack (pmdd induced) at work Tuesday, I said enough with this, I need the right antidepressant to treat this or I'm going to fuck things up, even though I self disclosed to my boss my PMS issue to give her a heads up that I will probably call off a day a month as a result lol kinda kidding but she actually said that was good to do that and I could be given the option to work at home those days as long as I take my laptop and just do paperwork but anyway my doc put me on Zoloft and I feel that edgy, frustrated, overly sensitive bitch in me is under control (oxymoron lol) lol "sensitive bitch" that's like saying "yea, that dudes a prick but he's a sensitive prick!" Gotta love my brand of "crazy" cause noone else will! I also managed to get my doc to excuse me til Monday to let the new pill adjust.. I feel guilty for being home but it is what it is.

Edited by kat
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    • TronRP
      How Are You Feeling? (cont'd)

      By TronRP · Posted

      I am currently floored.   FedEx did a massive 6 box delivery to the wrong address.  I had an autoship order scheduled to arrive before this past weekend.  Nothing showed up.  I contacted the order site and they had a link for the order...a photo of all my boxes thrown in the snow and up the sidewalk of a residence that was not mine.   You would think that at some point, the driver would have looked at the delivery address after they kept throwing box upon box at this location with no shelter from the elements.  They didn't even knock on the door to inform the residents that massive 65+ pound boxes were left all over their walkway.  Nope.  Just dumped them, took a photo as they were walking away and left.   I wonder what the person who found all of those misdelivered boxes must have been thinking when they saw them.  Maybe they kept everything to use, distribute or sell.  No idea.  No claim was filed on that end as of yet.   Fortunately for me, one of the sites that I ordered from, replaced everything at no extra cost.   Unfortunately, now I'm concerned for the other items yet to be delivered.   Needless to say, I'll be watching my notifications like a hawk.
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    • TronRP
      How Are You Feeling? (cont'd)

      By TronRP · Posted

      ~~~~~ Yeah, thank you for the check-in.   Happy to say it was all a misunderstanding.  But she pulled out her "ghetto" and that's when things went South.  I get very professional minded when I enter into situations like that because when someone starts bring the court into conversations, I'm in court 2 times a year, every year, so don't go there with me because I will get legal all over you.   She did try to change what she thought she might have said, but I had to call her on it because it's all in written text.  Then she apologized and we were able to have a decent conversation.   I know I joke about me talking so much that people don't hear what I say except for keywords that they are looking for, but that is exactly what happened here.  She heard "payment", "money" and "help out".  It was crazy.  I literally had to have the entire conversation all over again, but I definitely condensed it to only address those 3 words.   Things are back on track, but I emphasized that if she every needed clarification for anything, please say something first instead of jumping to conclusions, then questioning that conclusion, then answering that conclusion, then getting upset at the answer and taking it out on someone who doesn't have a clue what the San Juan Hill just happened.   But this is exactly the reason I do everything with a paper trail. 
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