How Are You Feeling?

[TronRP]

Feeling more relaxed now. Currently recovering from a full blown panic attack I had earlier.

[TronRP]

 

I feel like a wet blanket. These two little kids that I have been helping to raise, since the oldest of them was 4 years old, are at the center of a situation that just caused a rift across the family. 

 

There's no such thing as a little lie. A lie is still a lie regardless of what level of severity you want to attach to it. But to name me as the catalyst of the lie is just unforgivable at this point!

[kat (1)]

 

I have silicon strips taped to me forehead.

[kat (1)]

I have silicon strips taped to me head.

[TronRP]

Feels like I'm trying to do my best...

[kat (1)]

Like my body is trembling and a fairy is in my head with a pick axe chipping at my head and right eye socket!

#ilovegettingnewthingsbutumya

Edited August 5, 2015 by kat

[creatureofthenyte]

Like the 4th of July is going off in my tummy right now. 

[kat (1)]

I feel half my face is numb, I feel I took work home for it was that or go home and do nothing and be because I am still getting used to stuff my body is doing.. Just gotta roll with it for awhile, some of it, like facial numbness and the extreme pressure is terrifying but I'm going to just go with the flow see how everything goes and pans out.. The brain is not an exact science..I had a point for coming to the thread.. Damn.

[TronRP]

Feeling like I'm too busy to see straight...

[kat (1)]

I was reading an old thread last week called true fears. I realized that mine deep down, which is what drives anxiety for people also but it's the fear of losing control. I have recently realized, not only have I never really had control in the first place and my entire life has been dominated by fear, flight, fight, adrenaline, basically... Never any serenity. It took me losing control of my consciousness, of my steering wheel, of my car completely to be able to see how this accident was mockery of my entire life and how I have been living. This is not my path. Nothing has felt right for years because it's not.

Edited August 6, 2015 by kat

[creatureofthenyte]

I feel like watching TV.

[kat (1)]

ok.

[TronRP]

My mind is racing so much that it feels like I can't focus on one thing. I was trying to take a break so I won't be warn out on Home Care Watch starting tonight around 2am, but I feel like I can't sit still.

[TronRP]

Exhausted and accomplished. Got a lot of yard work and detailing done today.

[TronRP]

I feel bad for letting my exhaustion get the better of me last night. I could have been nicer during the changing of the guards. I'll have to do better.

[kat (1)]

I feel like walking barefoot in the sand as I am loving this breeze.

[kat (1)]

I sad. No DGN friends came to play with me at the Fair today. I had bubbles and we could have blown them together. Lol.

Seriously though, I don't care how old I am if I find a carnival that still has the pirate ship I am there! I swear, it must be a thing, like idk, maybe because a pirate ship isn't PC or something, like um, it's completely cool to slaughter an entire culture nearly, wipe them out, take their shit, and eat fucking turkey every year to celebrate, but Captain Morgan, no, fuck that shit, pirate ship's are the devil! Stupid shit

[Michael8402]

I sad. No DGN friends came to play with me at the Fair today. I had bubbles and we could have blown them together. Lol.

 

I wish I could have come but I had to work.  I have only been getting one day off a week lately.  It has me feeling tired and worn out but at least the overtime pay is nice.  I have this Monday off if anyone wants to meet up or something.

[kat (1)]

I wish I could have come but I had to work.  I have only been getting one day off a week lately.  It has me feeling tired and worn out but at least the overtime pay is nice.  I have this Monday off if anyone wants to meet up or something.

Hugs. I am off Sat-Mon

[kat (1)]

I am tired of the way he speaks to me. This morning we go to breakfast everything is fine, than he starts to get upset and say its my fault that he has no job because I can't decide if I want to move to the county I work in or not... But that's the biggest load of shit I ever heard in my life. Than he says its my fault he's depressed, he said I'm a bum and that because he's been helping pay bills if it wasn't for him I would be homeless and back sleeping on my friends couch and that when he leaves I am going to fall flat on my face and end up back on my friends couch, he said enjoy your buddy's couch ( he's messing with my head because I told him what this person did to me when I was there) I should have never confided in him! He is using all my fears to try and destroy what is left of me, I ask him to please stop and that my head is hurting me, that I'm still recovering from the accident and I can't handle all of this. I told him he was HURTING ME! But he doesn't care. I just started screaming and crying and fell to the floor

I told him it's done, noone should be able to do that to me but my head wouldn't quit hurting, he wouldn't stop trying to destroy me.. I felt like I did when I was a little girl and my mom would keep calling me ugly, fat, How could you be my daughter, I hate you! I felt like that all over again, like a flashback. 

I can't stop crying. 

And nobody fucking cares about me anyway.

Edited August 9, 2015 by kat

[Michael8402]

I feel tired and worn out.  Tomorrow was supposed to be my only day off this week but I now have to work 9am.  No big deal.  I do like the overtime pay.  They are going to try to get me Wednesday night off now which would be nice.  Let me know if anyone wants to meet up somewhere.  I don't know anything here in Michigan so I will have to be told where and when to meet.

[creatureofthenyte]

I feel like taking a nap.

[TronRP]

Feels like some things are beginning to move in a positive direction for a half a minute. But as with everything, I feel like I am bracing for the next impact.

Feels like I need to mentally zone for the next 9 days. At that point my sister would have been to her doctor's appointment, the kids would have been handled for a few days, our mother should be back home from her stay in a Hospice care facility, and I should have some more construction done on something.

Just gotta keep saying "Goodmorning"...

[TronRP]

I am tired of the way he speaks to me. This morning we go to breakfast everything is fine, than he starts to get upset and say its my fault that he has no job because I can't decide if I want to move to the county I work in or not... But that's the biggest load of shit I ever heard in my life. Than he says its my fault he's depressed, he said I'm a bum and that because he's been helping pay bills if it wasn't for him I would be homeless and back sleeping on my friends couch and that when he leaves I am going to fall flat on my face and end up back on my friends couch, he said enjoy your buddy's couch ( he's messing with my head because I told him what this person did to me when I was there) I should have never confided in him! He is using all my fears to try and destroy what is left of me, I ask him to please stop and that my head is hurting me, that I'm still recovering from the accident and I can't handle all of this. I told him he was HURTING ME! But he doesn't care. I just started screaming and crying and fell to the floor

I told him it's done, noone should be able to do that to me but my head wouldn't quit hurting, he wouldn't stop trying to destroy me.. I felt like I did when I was a little girl and my mom would keep calling me ugly, fat, How could you be my daughter, I hate you! I felt like that all over again, like a flashback. 

I can't stop crying. 

And nobody fucking cares about me anyway.

We need to hang for a coffee break...

[kat (1)]

https://youtu.be/0hr0kGg2zgM